self disclosure

“Many avoid the path of self-knowledge because they are afraid of being swallowed up in their own abysses. But Christians have confidence that Christ has lived through all the abysses of human life and that he goes with us when we dare to engage in sincere confrontations with ourselves. Because God loves us unconditionally – along with our dark sides – we don’t need to dodge ourselves. In the light of this love the pain of self-knowledge can be at the same time the beginning of our healing.”

Richard Rohr

There are areas of my heart I am afraid to explore. There is a darkness there that I think I have only scratched the surface of. Not that I am a thief or murderer, but it all too easy for me to think that because I would not dream of stealing your car I do not have a dark side to my heart. Sometimes I know my motives are impure. Sometimes I know that my attitude stinks. Sometimes I know that I covet or am being envious. But so many times those things are out of kilter under the surface and I don’t recognize it.

I need to trust God enough to know that he loves me no matter what is hidden in my heart. And, in order to continue to grow closer to him, I need to know my own heart, to see it more clearly. I am beginning to allow God to show me what he needs to show me…to show me what he knows I am able to deal with. Because unless I am willing to do some self-examination, I will not know the depth of my depravity…nor the depth of his love.

Grace and peace,
Deb