evaluation

Today is New Year’s Eve. It is the time for resolutions. Time to reflect on the past and to plan for the future. Usually, we think about things like our weight, or maybe our spending habits. How often do we think about our relationship with God? If, come next January one, I am in the same place with God that I am this year, that would not be a good thing. I don’t think my relationship with Him is static. I think it always changing…either moving closer to Him or moving further away. I don’t want to be further away. So, in the same way I need to monitor my food intake or my money output, I need to be intentional about my relationship with Jesus. I need to set time aside to be with Him. I need to be looking for Him throughout the day in the things and circumstances that make up ordinary life. I need to surrender my agenda, my wants, my desires to Him and wait expectantly to see how He will move.

Consider taking some time today or tomorrow reflecting on what you would like your relationship to be and what you might do to nurture it. I invite you to then write a letter to God letting Him know what those desires are and asking Him to reveal to you some new ways you might be with Him.

Grace and peace,
Deb

seed

“Give over your own willing, give over your own running, give over your own desiring to know or be anything and sink down to the seed which God sows in the heart, and let that grow in you and be in you; and you will find by sweet experience that the Lord knows that and loves and owns that, and it will lead it to the inheritance of Life which is its portion.”

Isaac Pennington, Quaker

Sometimes I wonder how long it will take me to get this. How long before I understand that what is being worked in me is of God and not of my doing? Somewhere deep inside I know this to be true but I forget it.

I am grateful for reminders like the quote above. When I am reminded of God’s work, I can surrender to it and stop striving under my own power to make things happen.
May you be reminded today that God has sowed a seed within you that He is bringing to fruition. May you relax into that work and let your efforts be in your conscious surrender. May you be amazed at what He will do.

Grace and peace,
Deb

restless

“You have made us for yourself, Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you”.

Augustine

Hmmmm…this seems so appropriate in this season. I always look forward to Christmas…time spent with family, good food, time off from work, the giving and receiving of gifts. But, it seems as much I look forward to it, I always seem experience a mild depression, right after Christmas Eve. Maybe it is because our family gets together on Christmas Eve and then the kids have other commitments on Christmas Day. Maybe it’s because the expectations that have been set, either by myself or by my culture, never seem to measure up. Honestly, the last couple of days have been emotional for me. I have tried to put my finger on it but it seems elusive to me. I could come up with several theories but I couldn’t say for sure.
Reflecting on this quote has allowed me to consider another possibility. Maybe, just maybe, my focus has been on the wrong thing. Not there is anything wrong with wanting to be with my family or with wanting things to be a certain way but if that is where my focus lies, I will be restless.
I think it may be time for me to set aside some time to re-focus and allow my worth to be found in God…and only in God ….and all the rest will fall into its proper place.
If you found that Christmas was less than what you had hoped for, consider re-aligning your heart with God’s heart and see if you can sense His rest.

Grace and peace,
Deb

becoming

“This life therefore, is not righteousness, but growth in righteousness, not health but healing, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it; the process is not yet finished but is going on. This is not the end but it is the road; all does not yet gleam in glory but all is being purified.”

Martin Luther

Our walk with God is a process. I think that sometimes we get impatient with ourselves, with others, because we think we should have ‘arrived’ by now. Spend some time dissecting this quote today and consider:

Do you expect complete righteousness or do you know that you are growing in righteousness?

Do you expect complete mental and spiritual health or do you see that, day by day, you are healing?

Do you know that you are not yet who you will be but you are growing towards it?

This is a wonderful journey you are on. Everyday moves you closer to who God designed you to be, if you are aware and moving in concert with Him. Celebrate who you are ‘becoming.’

Grace and peace,
Deb

homesick

"In You"

I put my hope in You
I lay my life in palm of your hand
I'm constantly drawn to You Lord
In ways I cannot comprehend

It's the Creator calling the created
The Maker beckoning the made
The bride finding what she's always waited for
When we find ourselves that day

[CHORUS:]
In You where the hungry feast at the table
The blind frozen by colors in view
The lame will dance, They'll dance for they are able
And the weary find rest
Oh the weary find rest in You

It's no secret that we don't belong here
Those set apart by the grace of You
And we look for the day when we go to a place
Where the old becomes brand new

Mercy Me

Last year at this time I was sitting by the bedside of a friend who was going through a serious illness. In fact, she had been struggling with this illness for nearly ten years but it had grabbed hold of her and her reserves failed fast.

As I thought again about her, this year, I also reflected on the fact that this is not my home, it was not her home. It may be the only home we are aware of but it IS not how it was meant to be. I am homesick today. Although our human bodies are dying everyday, we all look for the day when we go to a place where the old becomes new, pain is a thing of the past and there are no more tears. Today is not that day.

Perhaps your Christmas wasn't all you thought it would be. Maybe you weren't able to spend it with the ones you really wanted to be with...or perhaps they have 'gone home'. May you find comfort in the fact that this isn't the way it will always be. Amen and Amen.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Merry Christmas

May you deeply sense the presence of Jesus today as we celebrate His birth.

Grace and peace,
Deb

breath of heaven

Breath Of Heaven

I have traveled many moonless nights,
Cold and weary with a babe inside,
And I wonder what I’ve done.
Holy father you have come,
And chosen me now to carry your son.

I am waiting in a silent prayer.
I am frightened by the load I bear.
In a world as cold as stone,
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now.
Be with me now.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.

Do you wonder as you watch my face,
If a wiser one should have had my place,
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan.
Help me be strong.
Help me be.
Help me.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven.

Amy Grant

darkness to light

“Mother Teresa once said “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted are the greatest poverty”. To this I will add: Please believe that one single positive dream is more important than a thousand negative realties.”

Adeline Yen Mah

Yesterday I had interactions with four women, all of whom I know had difficult childhoods. As I sat with them, I was struck by the reality of their lives today. If anyone of them had lived into what their families had wanted them to believe about themselves, they would be living a very different life. But…something happened to them. God. He moved into their heart and began the slow process of changing how they saw themselves. He began by giving them glimpses of how He sees them. Now, they are all living beautiful, strong, affirming lives.

And, do you know the most incredible part of it? He uses other people to reflect His love…. to be Jesus with skin on. Through others…through their eyes, through their actions, through their acceptance, through their reaching out, healing begins.

It is in the context of relationship that people change. It is not always easy but it is worth the effort. Then, as we heal, we begin to give away what was given to us.

If you know someone who is hurting, consider reaching out. If you are the wounded one, allow others to come near and care to you. If you have been restored to life through God’s healing touch and the love of others, give what you’ve received.

Grace and peace,
Deb

trust

“Trust God in all difficulty . . .the darkest places allow us to see more of his light.”

C.S. Lewis

When I am in the midst of a tough time, I certainly don’t think like this. My first thought usually isn’t “I am so thankful for this struggle ‘cause I know God is going to change me through it!” More than likely, I am trying to find a way out of it. I don’t like pain. I don’t like challenge. I like smooth sailing, easy going, peaceful living.

But as I look back over my life, the quote reveals the truth. God is in the middle of it all and I have seen His light shine brightly in those dark places. I would recognize it after the crisis had passed and I could look back on it with some objectivity. Now, it is getting easier to see Him while I’m in the center of the storm.

Are you going through a tough time? Can you take a moment, quiet yourself, and ask “Where can I sense Jesus in the middle of this? If you can’t ask Him to reveal that to you, ask Him to speak to you. Ask Him to allow you to see His light shine more clearly in the darkness.

Grace and peace,
Deb

sabbath

no post today ~ enjoy the sabbath

grumpy

“The Scripture speaks of no real Christian who has an ugly, selfish, angry, and contentious spirit. Nothing can be more contradictory than a morose, hard, closed and spiteful Christian.”

Jonathan Edwards

I often think about this. I know how I seem to myself but how do I appear to others? I think I fear that this is one of my blind spots. I also do not want to give other people the impression that being a Christian is a dull, boring, spoil-sport kinda faith. ‘Cause it is just the opposite for me. It is wonderful, joy filled, fun, exhilarating and awesome.

Hopefully my demeanor shows that . . .no matter what circumstance I find myself in.

Do you think people see His joy in you? If someone watched your life, would be drawn to Jesus or say, “If that’s what being a Christian is like, I don’t want it”. Join me today, in being more aware of how we reflect Him in our daily life.

Grace and peace, Deb

trust

This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?"

Romans 8:15


I know I have read this verse before but yesterday I read it as if it were the first time. It so fits what I have experienced the past year. I know that life is filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, but instead of fearing the unknown, the future, I have come to a live in a state of expectancy. My line has been “Surprise me, God!” (but I love “What’s next Papa?”). I know that He has things in store for me but I have no idea how the pieces fit together. I always think I know but I am usually wrong. God is very creative in how He works out things in my life. I love feeling adventurous rather than fearful. I believe it comes from beginning to develop a deeper trust in Him.

Do you fear the future?

Do you have a need to know what’s next?

Do you feel like you need to help God?

What would it feel like to know He is in control…that He holds all of it? You may know it in your head but what if you knew that in your heart? How would your life be different? What would it feel like to say “What’s next, Papa?”

Ponder these questions as you live into your ‘resurrected’ life.

Grace and peace,
Deb

identity

“The stickers will only stick to you if they matter to you. The more you trust in my love, the less you care about the stickers…”

Eli

Several weeks ago, I heard the beautiful children’s story, You Are Special, by Max Lucado. It is a story about the Wemmicks, a village of wooden people. They each had a box of gold stars and a box of grey dots. They would place either a star or a dot on others as they judged them…their worthiness or lack there of. It is a beautiful story that parallels our lives and how we allow others to define us instead of allowing God to define us. If we find our identity in Jesus, we don’t allow what others think of us create our identity.

Consider picking up a copy of the book and allowing God to speak to you through its pages.

Grace and peace,
Deb

beauty

“Art can warm even a chilled and sunless soul to an exalted spiritual experience. Through art, we occasionally receive – indistinctly, briefly – revelations the likes of which cannot be achieved by rational thought.

It is like the small mirror of legend, you look into it but instead of yourself, you glimpse for a moment, the Inaccessible, a realm forever beyond reach. And your soul begins to ache.”

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Art can move us beyond what we can see, hear or touch with our normal human senses. It can truly give us a glimpse into beauty which is close to God’s heart.

Delight today in a piece of art and allow it to move you into a place of beauty.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Mary's song

Blue homespun and the bend of my breast
keep warm this small hot naked star
fallen to my arms.
(Rest …you who have had so far to come.)
Now nearness satisfies
the body of God sweetly.
Quiet he lies whose vigor hurled a universe.
He sleeps whose eyelids have not closed before.
His breath (so slight it seems no breath at all)
once ruffled the dark deeps
to sprout a world.
Charmed by doves' voices,
the whisper of straw, he dreams,
hearing no music from his other spheres.
Breath, mouth, ears, eyes
he is curtailed who overflowed all skies,
all years.
Older than eternity, now he is new.
Now native to earth as I am,
nailed to my poor planet,
caught that I might be free,
blind in my womb to know my darkness ended,
brought to this birth for me to be new-born,
and for him to see me mended
I must see him torn.

Luci Shaw

I invite you to spend some time with this poem today. Read it slowly two times, once out loud. Allow God to speak to your heart and pay attention to the words or phrases that move you. Perhaps spend some time journaling your thoughts and feelings.

Grace and peace,
Deb

rest

And so let me let you hold me
when I have come to the place
beyond the willingness to labor
beyond anything but the longing
for rest.
Let my emptiness be emptiness
till it reveals to me your face,
and let my weariness be weariness
till it prompts me to your rest.
Then may I know the healing
of slumber
and the possibility of dreams;
Then may I greet the dawn and
take up my work again.

Jan Richardson

Please find time to rest in the midst of this busy season. Find time to rest so that you may fully enjoy the next couple of weeks, so that you may be fully present, for God and for others.

Grace and peace,
Deb

sabbath

no post today ~ enjoy the sabbath

travel guides

I could never do this spiritual life alone. I need my travel guides. What I mean by this is that I need those people who point out the way for me. They don’t tell me which way to go but they illuminate the path and make the journey with me. About 5 years ago a friend of mine shared his evolving spiritual journey with me. I was intrigued. Something in my spirit was awakened and the spiritual landscape slowly began to change for me. Knowing that I was in unknown territory, I invite a ‘travel guide’ to help me. Again, she doesn’t tell me where to go but she does help me notice things along the way.

It’s like I’m on this glorious trip that God has arranged for me. He has graciously given me people who can help me along the way. They may have traveled this way before me and can help me navigate the way – or even if their journey has been different, they can help me make sense of landmarks I might be encountering. One of my relationships is strictly for this purpose. I know that when I spend time with her, the intention is to see where God is at work in my life. I am also blessed with traveling companions - wonderful friends who I can have spiritual conversations with and do life with. And then, there are those random encounters where God will use the most unlikely person or circumstance to speak in to my life.

Who are the guides in your life? Who are those people you are intentionally speaking to, help you discern the movement of God in your life? Who are the friends that build into you…celebrate the grace you are noticing and support any correction God wants to make in your walk. Who are those who are imprinting on you? Many times, we take these life-giving relationships for granted. Pause today to reflect and be thankful for those who accompany you.

Grace and peace,
Deb

teachers

As we continue to reflect on our relationship with Jesus, I want to encourage you today to look at who was instrumental in your spiritual life. Perhaps you had the privilege of being raised in a Christian home where God was no stranger. Maybe it was a parent or grandparent who prayed with you and told you that God loved you. Or perhaps it was a friend, within which you noticed something different, something attractive. Or maybe you were like me and it was the guy who took a chance on dating someone who didn’t have a strong relationship with God. Through his example you realized there was more to this “God” thing. As I think back I can name several people who God used to woo me to Him. I am so grateful to Him for placing them in my life.

I invite you to spend some time today reflecting on who those people were in your life. Who pointed you to the One who loves you more than anyone possibly could? Who shared the truth of who He is? Who stirred the desire in your heart for more? And who played a part in you anticipating this upcoming Christmas Day when we celebrate His coming to earth? Consider spending some time today lifting them up in prayer and asking God that they might experience a fuller measure of His presence this season.

Grace and peace,
Deb

mountain and valley

God of making
and unmaking,
of tearing down
and re-creating,
You are my home
and habitation,
my refuge
and place of dwelling.

In your hollows
I am re-formed,
given welcome
and benediction,
beckoned to rest
and rise again,
made ready
and sent forth.

Jan Richardson

As we move closer to Advent, we will focus on preparing our inner space to make room for Him. Today we are paying attention to where He has been through out our lives. My life in Jesus has been full of ups and downs. I have never had such incredible highs! Wonderful memories of life-changing mission trips, worshipping with new friends, in their own language, while tears streamed down my face. Seeing my children be baptized. Seeing them marry spouses who love them. Seeing my grandchildren grow. Seeing changes in my own spiritual walk which have resulted in deeper intimacy. These are the mountains.

Then there are the valleys. A difficult childhood. The death of my sister-in-law. Losing one of my children to miscarriage. Going through a deeply hurtful church experience. Struggling in my marriage. Going through the divorce of my parents. Experiencing illness; mine, my husband’s, my children’s. Seeing my children go through painful things. Walking with friends through tough times.

I trust God. I trust that He knows what is best for me and that he has been with me through all the mountains and valleys. He has a plan for me and it includes all of the above. My painful experiences have played a big part in making me who I am. He is present in all of it.


May you spend some time today reflecting on your experiences, both good and difficult, and notice where God was at work.

Grace and peace,
Deb

response

Yesterday I encouraged you to examine your relationships. If you are like me, you noticed that there are some people you are holding some frustration towards. Maybe some who have hurt you and, maybe even some you feel outright anger towards. Or it is a long simmering resentment? No doubt they hurt you.

Consider taking some time to listen to what God may be wanting from you. Is He asking you to soften your heart and shift your thoughts and feelings toward them? Is He asking you to share your pain with Him and release them by forgiving them? Or…perhaps He is asking you to take some concrete steps to extend yourself in some way to them….towards reconciliation? Remember back to a time when someone released you. Can you reflect on what it felt like to be offered forgiveness for some hurt you had caused to another? What a beautiful feeling that is.

As we inch closer to celebrating the day God came to earth, consider what “peace on earth, goodwill towards men”, looks like in your own life.

Grace and peace,
Deb

reflections on relationships

As I engage myself in a process of examination, one of the areas that I always need to pay attention to is my relationships. I need to ask myself these questions:

How am I doing in my relationships with others?

Am I being loving?

Am I being attentive?

Have I been harsh?

Have I thought ill of someone or talked about someone?

Do I feel as if I am in competition with someone?

Do I begrudge someone the gifts and abilities they have?

Do I have the other’s best interest at heart?

Do I sacrifice for the benefit of the other?

Do I try to have win/win solutions to problems?

Can I put their interest in front of mine?

Do I give them the benefit of the doubt?

Do I resist jumping to conclusions?

Do I notice the wonderful things they have done
rather than the one thing they haven’t?

Do I encourage them to be the best they can be
even if it means they will outshine me?

How good and pleasant it is
when brothers live together in unity!

Psalm 133:1

May you spend some time, as we move closer to the celebration of Christmas, examining your relationships. Be sensitive to what God may be saying to you and consider what it is He may be asking you to do.

Grace and peace,
Deb

examination

"Test me, O LORD, and try me,
examine my heart and my mind."

Psalm 26:2 NIV

Advent is not only the beginning of the Christmas season, it is the beginning of the church calendar. You and I have the opportunity to approach this new year with Jesus differently than we have before. The same way we might approach New Year’s…reflecting on the past year, what we’ve accomplished, what we didn’t do that we wished we had, etc. We usually spend time thinking about changes we want to make. You know…those famous New Year’s Resolutions. But before you know where you want to go you need to know where you’ve been and where you are.
This second week of Advent, we will be looking at 'examination'.

As you reflect on this past year and as you prepare for the upcoming year, I invite you to spend some time with God asking Him to reveal those places in your life where you are falling short of what He wants for you. We all have those things in our lives that create a barrier between us and God. His love doesn’t change for us but our ability to experience it and share it with others is hindered by our sins.
Plan some time to sit with Him, in silence, and ask Him to examine your heart. You might want to consider asking questions like:

Lord, where am I falling short of what you have for me?

Would you please reveal those sins that I am not aware of?

How am doing at loving You?

At loving others?

Are there places in my life that You are trying to speak into and I am resisting?

As you sit and listen for Him to speak, know that His words will not be condemning or harsh. He is gentle when He is illuminating the dark areas of your heart. If you are experiencing shaming, condemning words consider that those might be the words of other voices…your own, your past or the Enemy. You will experience God’s correction as loving.
Begin this new year in God with an examined heart.

Grace and peace,
Deb

sabbath

no post today ~ enjoy the sabbath

further examination

I can move through my days and not pay attention to what has happened. If I am not intentional, I will miss what God is saying to me. One tool that has helped me pay attention is taking time at the end of my day to look over the day with the help of God. I think back through the events of the day; what significant things happened, what significant conversations did I have, places where I sensed God’s grace, places where I sensed God’s correction, and things I wished I would have done differently. I run it back as if it were a movie. Looking at it under God’s gentle gaze I can feel safe to look at all these parts of my day and ask God what he wants me to notice.

It can be a very valuable tool in deepening of awareness of God’s work in our lives and also how He wants us to respond to him. I invite you to try it tonight.

Have a blessed day,
Deb

inner work

This week we have been focusing on looking inward to prepare ourselves for the Christmas season. Sometimes, the examination process can be hard as we look at some things in our heart that are not as we want them to be. Despite that, God’s love for us is constant.

To add to your daily examination process, consider asking yourself this question as you lay your head down on the pillow at night….

“Where did I sense God love me today?”

This question is not based on our accomplishments, our defeats, our joys or our frustrations. It is simply looking for and paying attention to how He is loving us. As you practice this discipline, I would love it if you would be willing to share how you are experiencing this in your life. Please feel free to comment.

It is a beautiful way to end your day.

Grace and peace,
Deb

not enough paper

I have been a Christ follower for over 30 years. You would think by now I would have it down. I never seriously thought about killing someone. I don’t think of myself as a thief. I’ve never had a drug or alcohol problem. I don’t like gambling. I normally do not lose my temper…in public.

But, I have had the urge to hit the car that ignores the red light, in the turn lane and takes 2 seconds of my green light (in fact, I was with a friend once who did just that…she hit the car…on purpose!) I have thought about taking a pen or using paper from work for personal use, justifying that I use my paper, ink, etc., from home for work things. I can say no to wine or hard alcohol (it’s easy because I don’t like the taste…unless it Kailua and cream) but it takes everything I have to not eat chocolate cake until I feel sick. The lottery holds no interest for me but if you could see darkness in my heart when I stand behind someone buying tons of lottery tickets when all I want is a gallon of milk, you would see sin. And, I know how to behave in public, how to temper my reactions to things that happen that I don’t like. But, at home, I don’t feel the same need to monitor my response.

About 27 years ago, I was driving to church (in Michigan) on a Sunday morning. A car pulled out in front of me and I hit my horn. As I continued to church, I noticed that he was turning every where I needed to turn…including the church parking lot! I dropped Jeff and the kids off at the door, found a parking spot in the back of the lot and waited in my car for the other guy to have time to move from the lobby to the sanctuary. Once I was inside, a man walked up to me, with a smile on his face , and said “I guess you don’t like the way I drive.” I wanted to sink into the floor. I apologized to him and thankfully, he accepted and our families became good friends. Lesson learned, right? No.

A couple of years ago, I was driving, (which seems to be a real testing time for me) and I was in one of those places where the road merges from two lanes into one lane. I was in the CORRECT lane and the guy in the other lane sped up to try and get around me. Somehow, my gas pedal went down and my car accelerated as well. (I have a slightly competitive spirit). He did not back down and would have hit my car rather than yield. As he pulled in front of me, I hit my horn. He gave me a wave through his window that could be interpreted as “calm down sweetie.” I fumed. My heart was beating harder and faster and my hands were shaking. I found myself driving as close as I could to his bumper. I wanted him to know how angry I was. I can even remember thinking…”this is crazy…I am crazy to let something like that upset me so much”. Fortunately I did not have the opportunity to see this man or talk to him. But the anger lingered over the next couple of hours.

My sins now seem to be more sins of attitude and motives, which can lead me into out-right identifiable sin (horn-honking and tailgating). If I took the time to write them all down, there would not be enough paper.

Thank goodness God is patient with me. I now try to allow Him to reveal those areas He wants me to work on because tackling all of them is impossible.

Consider spending some time with Him today asking what are those motives or attitudes He wants you to look at. Are there things you are already aware of? Others that may be hidden? Pay attention to how you feel and think and become more aware of what is beneath those emotions and thoughts.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

still waiting

I was talking with some individuals about their missions trip to Guatemala. They were there to work in a medical clinic in a village. They told me that there was a very long line of people waiting to be seen by the American doctors. They waited and they waited and they waited. Many of them were not even seen that day and came back the next day to wait again. Whenever one of the team members would walk by the line, the villagers would smile at them. There was no grumbling, no frustration…just patient waiting.

It’s hard for me to imagine what that kind of ‘still’ waiting is like. I become impatient waiting for a red light to change or waiting in line at the grocery store. And we all know what it is like to wait in lines at the department stores as we shop for Christmas.

We view waiting as an inconvenience at best and at worse, as a painful lack of results. We look and look for a way out of the waiting. We want whatever is coming, to arrive.

I think God wants us to wait like the Guatemalans. Quietly, expectantly, still. Knowing that He has something meaningful for us at the end of the waiting.


“Still” waiting….meaning not only do we remain 'waiting'...we are doing it contently.
May you find peace in the waiting. May you be still and may you look for God in the midst of the not yet.

Grace and peace,
Deb

waiting

As a teenager I went to a Lutheran church. I remember terms like Advent and Lent but I didn’t pay much attention. Over the last few years, I’ve had a renewed interest in the church calendar. I would like you to celebrate the Advent season with me. We will be spending some time over the next four weeks looking more closely at this part of the church year.

As I understand “Advent” I’ve come to see that part of its meaning is “waiting with expectancy”. Now my background is not theology so for those of you who are more knowledgeable, please offer me some grace as I draw some of my own parallels.

Mary was a young girl. She was engaged to be married. Can you even imagine an angel showing up in your bedroom and telling you that you had been chosen to bear the Christ? Not only do you risk the neighbor’s whispers as they speculate behind your back about the circumstances that lead to you finding yourself in the ‘family way’…you risk death…by stoning. You risk your future husband believing that you had slept with someone else. Not only are you thinking you’ll need to convince him that you were not unfaithful but that an angel came to you to tell you God wanted to you to carry His son. It is no ordinary baby you carry. You carry the Son of God. Yeah right. Nowadays, that would be the right formula for a trip to the hospital and some powerful meds to help you with your delusional thoughts. Don’t believe me? Try telling someone you saw an angel and that he said you were pregnant by the Holy Spirit. I’ll come and see you on visiting day.

It’s easy for us to think that this was an ordinary experience back in Biblical times. But…it was just as extraordinary then as it would be now. She was a young girl…just a girl. And yet her response to the angel was remarkable. Scripture says she was confused and fearful. But, after the angel completed his explanation, she said, “I'm the Lord's maid, ready to serve. Let it be with me just as you say”.

She began “waiting with expectancy”. That is what Advent is for us as well. Waiting with expectancy. As we look forward to Christmas and the significance of God come to earth, what are you expecting? What are you looking for?

May you spend some time in the next day or so reflecting on what it is that you are expecting in your relationship with the Holy One? What are wanting? Waiting for?

May your waiting be filled with expectancy. God wants to meet with you in a different way…a more intimate way. Be looking. Be waiting…with expectancy.

Grace and peace,
Deb

spa for the soul - meditating

“Through meditating we explore in order to know more and more of Abba. Before we find this reality, we only BELIEVE; through experiencing a relationship, we come to KNOW.”

Morton Kelsey

To know someone, I need to spend time with them. I need to talk to them and I need to listen. The more I know them, the less I need to depend on words. I have a couple of people in my life who can just look at me and know what I am feeling. There is no need to explain myself in great detail. I am known by them.

It is that way with God. In the beginning of my relationship with him I talked…a lot. Now I talk less and listen more. There is more of a comfort level there…more of a ‘knowing’. I am learning to rest in the fact that He loves me.

Considering meditating, reflecting, pondering on who He is. Meditate on His love and His presence. Ask for nothing more than to know Him and be known by Him.

Grace and peace,
Deb

sabbath

no post today ~ enjoy the sabbath

with new eyes

Years ago, I picked up a wonderful little book called With New Eyes by Margaret Becker. I had been familiar with her before as she was one of my favorite female contemporary Christian recording artists. What I discover through this book was that she even a better writer.

In With New Eyes, she takes different situations in her life and looks at them through a different lens….they are all part of God’s plan. What a beautiful perspective!

That is what I am trying to do with whatever comes into my life. I want to be able to step back and look for God’s presence, for His fingerprints all over whatever is happening. If I say that I know He holds everything, it needs to be more than just lip service. I need to be actively looking for it.

May you begin to look at your life and all it holds differently. May you be able to notice God’s hand in everything. May you be able to see redemption in the midst of difficulty. May you see with new eyes.

Grace and peace,
Deb

grateful

“Gratefulness is born of a prayerfulness that helps us notice “Magnalia Dei”….the marvels of God.”

Brennen Manning

I hope that your Thanksgiving was filled with family, fellowship and gratitude. Each of us has so much…even if we find ourselves in a dark part of the journey. Life, even when it is difficult, holds many things to be thankful for.

No matter where you find yourself today…in feast or in famine….look for those things that can fill your heart with gratitude for the blessings God has given you.

Grace and peace,
Deb

gratitude

Every breath we draw is a gift of God’s love, every moment of existence is a grace, for it brings with it immense graces from Him. Gratitude, therefore, takes nothing for granted.

Thomas Merton

Today is a day we set aside to remember what we have to be thankful for. Today I want to share my list.

I have a beautiful family complete with a loving husband, a daughter and son-in-law, a son and daughter-in-law,between them, four beautiful and healthy grandchildren with one more on the way. I have incredible friendships,a vocation I love and an intimate relationship with my savior.

Today….think deeply about your blessings. Allow yourself to offer up a prayer of gratitude to the One who makes it all possible.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving……….

Grace and peace,
Deb

fine wine

“Standing nearby were six stone water jars, used for Jewish ceremonial washing. Each could hold twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus told the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” When the jars had been filled, he said, “Now dip some out, and take it to the master of ceremonies.” So the servants followed his instructions.”
John 2: 6-8 NLT

The first miracle of Jesus. He took ordinary water and turned it into the finest wine. For the past couple years this passage has been on my heart. I’ve known about for over thirty years but recently it has taken on new meaning.

It speaks to transformation. Taking something mundane and ordinary and transforming it into something precious and valuable. I no longer see this as just Jesus’ first miracle but I see it as a foreshadowing of what He came here to do. Change you…change me….from broken, lost souls into people who live, breathe and move in Him so that His beauty is reflected in our spirits.

May you know today that if you are intentional about pursuing Jesus that you are transforming every moment, moving closer to the person you were created to be. Allow Him to continue the transformation as you give more and more of yourself over to Him.

Grace and peace,
Deb

solitude

“Loneliness is the poverty of self, solitude is the richness of self. “

Luci Shaw, Breathe for the Bones

Many times people confuse solitude with loneliness. They do not like being alone or feeling alone. But solitude is not being alone. Solitude is being present to the Creator God. It is being more alive and more present than you ever thought possible. It is feeling fullness in the absence of all things.,…except God. What more could you desire?

Consider spending some time today in solitude, being completely open and present to God. Doing this on a consistent basis will change the way you see yourself, see the world and see God.

Grace and peace,
Deb

creativity

“We who believe we bear God’s image will realize how that image includes the capacity to imagine and create, because God himself is an imaginative Creator.”
Luci Shaw, Breath for the Bones

My friend, deAnn , has a passion for the arts and the place where they intersect with God’s spirit…which is everywhere. I hear her speak with such enthusiasm about how she sees His creative beauty everywhere she looks and how she knows there is an artist in each of us because we all carry God’s creativity inside us. I am still looking for mine.

I occasionally write poetry but it only comes when God stirs my heart. My ability to draw is limited to stick people although they are very fine stick people if I must say. But, I look at incredible paintings, I see beautiful photographs, I witness graceful dance, I hear a stirring song and I wish those were my gifts. But even though I don’t possess those gifts, I certainly can enjoy them and celebrate them in others.

Look for the creativity in you. Nurture that part of God that is within you. If you need encouragement in this endeavor check out deAnn’s website, Vertical Creativity : http://www.verticalcreativity.blogspot.com
Discover the artist within.

Grace and peace,
Deb
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sabbath

no post today - enjoy the sabbath

night

Darkness may seem like a place where nothing is happening. Consider a seed in the ground. It is surrounded by darkness. It seems silent and dormant. But in that dark, solitary place, it germinates. Above the surface, you cannot tell that anything is happening. But below, new life begins.

It is the same with you and I. There are times when I feel as if I am separated from God’s presence. If I rely only on my feelings or my senses, I might believe that God is not there, not working. I must come to a place of trust. In that place I would know that He is there whether I can feel him or not. God may seem to be hidden but He is present and working.

Do you feel like He isn’t there? Do you feel separated from Him? Do you feel like you are in the dark? Know that He is there. Know that He is working even though you cannot sense it. All you need to do is surrender to the work He wishes to do. Consider what that might look like today.


Grace and peace,
Deb

darkness

And when you have drawn
your cloak of night about you,
and when
you have rolled back
day sky
and pinned it to the horizon,
and when
you have given yourself
to the darkness,
and when you have blurred
the familiar shapes
into uncertain shadows,
then,
thou tender of darkness
and of day
do not forget me.

Jan Richardson

As you watch and wait, you may not see anything. It may seem like darkness around you. He is present…in the dark.

Grace and peace,
Deb

attentiveness

"This is the first, wildest and wisest thing I know, that the soul exists and that is is built entirely out of attentiveness."

Mary Oliver

When we are not attentive, we miss life. We live in the past or we live in the future but we miss the now. And now is what we have. Now is when God is active and working...now is when we get the chance to participate with Him. Obviously we can see where He was in hindsight but what a beautiful thing it is to see He in the now.

But to do that we need to pay attention to what He might be saying, how He might be working and then make the choice to live into that.

My prayer for you today is that you will be aware and watching so you don't miss the presence of God, in this moment.

Grace and peace,
Deb

integrity

"If you are here unfaithfully with us,
You're causing great damage."

Rumi

When we are with others unauthentically, we hurt them and we hurt ourselves. To bring all of who we are to God and to our community is to be in integrity.

Consider those places where you come with less than who you truly are. Ask yourself why you would do that and reflect on what God might want to say to you.

Grace and peace,
Deb

blind faith

"MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone."

Thomas Merton

I invite you to take some time today to reflect on this quote.

Grace and peace,
Deb

darkenss to light

“Mother Teresa once said “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted are the greatest poverty”. To this I will add: Please believe that one single positive dream is more important than a thousand negative realties.”

Adeline Yen Mah

Yesterday I had interactions with four women, all of whom I know had difficult childhoods. As I sat with them, I was struck by the reality of their lives today. If anyone of them had lived into what their families had wanted them to believe about themselves, they would be living a very different life. But…something happened to them. God. He moved into their heart and began the slow process of changing how they saw themselves. He began by giving them glimpses of how He sees them. Now, they are all living beautiful, strong, affirming lives.

And, do you know the most incredible part of it? He uses other people to reflect His love…. to be Jesus with skin on. Through others…through their eyes, through their actions, through their acceptance, through their reaching out, healing begins.

It is in the context of relationship that people change. It is not always easy but it is worth the effort. Then, as we heal, we begin to give away what was given to us.

If you know someone who is hurting, consider reaching out. If you are the wounded one, allow others to come near and care to you. If you have been restored to life through God’s healing touch and the love of others, give what you’ve received.

Grace and peace,
Deb

sabbath

no post today ~ enjoy your sabbath

margins

I am tired. Just being honest, folks. Somehow I have allowed the margins around my life to become thinner and thinner. That means I wake up and realize I am not living what I preach. I didn’t sleep well last night and did not get up as early as I would have liked this morning. So…no intentional time with God. Doesn’t mean I didn’t sense His presence today…I did in so many ways. But I want time…no…I need time to sit down and reflect on the ways I saw Him work and move, how I heard His voice.

This isn’t being legalistic about how much time I must set aside to be with Him….or what I need to do during that time. It’s more about how I feel inside when I don’t have time with Him.I just want to be real about living what I talk about.

Hope you are carving out margins to protect your inner life. We all stray and get back on the ‘crazy hamster wheel’ of life….but, when you do, notice it and begin, as you can, to re-establish those margins. Tomorrow – yeah, I’m gonna have some margins tomorrow.

Grace and peace,
Deb

vunerability

“It's so sad how we can go through life hating people, thinking that they are so different from us. It is only when we see them at their weakest point, seeing their vulnerability, that we start to realize how similar we all actually are to one another.”

Unknown

Last night I had the opportunity to spend time with some awesome women. I am part of a group of women who are on a journey. We are being intentional about looking for Jesus as He is showing up in the ordinary parts of our lives.

We do this as we share the great things we see Him doing. We also share the places where we are broken and how we see Him showing up in the midst of our brokenness.

It is a frightening thing…to share our brokenness with each other. Logic would tell us that if others knew the dark side of our hearts they would run from us. And I truly believe that is what the Evil One would love to have us believe. It keeps us separated from each other. He tells us that we are the only one who struggles with ___________. You fill in the blank. When we buy into that, we keep quiet…we put on masks….we put distance between ourselves and others.

But…usually, the opposite happens. As we begin to take off the masks and share, we realize that we have much more in common than not. It can bond us together in a powerful way.

Take the risk to share yourself with someone today…really share who you are and what God is doing in your life. Be real, be vulnerable.

Thank you to the women in my life who are real and vulnerable with me. You enrich my life……..

Grace and Peace,
Deb

risk

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."

C. S. Lewis

I have friends who are afraid to love. They have been hurt and want to avoid being hurt again at all costs. They think that it is safest to not love at all. They keep others at arms length.

I understand the fear. But what they don’t see is that to choose to keep your heart closed off to hurt means you keep your heart closed off to joy. Our hearts are not capable of only letting in certain things. When we decide to keep out hurt we keep out joy.

Loving others involves risk. It always has and it always will. Humans aren’t perfect. There are those that will hurt us every chance they get and we need to able to identify who they are and set up appropriate boundaries.. But, there are others….(and I think there are far more of these!) who will love us well, even if imperfectly. All of us love imperfectly. I do, you do…all of us. If people never took a chance on me because of what others had done to them, I’d have no one in my life.

Be willing to risk. God created us to live in community and not as loners. Risk….risk being yourself with others, risk letting others in, risk being real….risk being hurt. Know that whatever comes your way, God is able to walk you through it.

Grace and peace,
Deb

the aunties

As the years go by, I am noticing something. I do not look like I used to! Surprise, surprise. It can be difficult to see the changes that time brings. Anne Lamott, in one of her books, has a chapter called “The Aunties”. She is referring to her derriere. The Aunties are not what they used to be She talks about not wanting to go out in a bathing suit because she is self conscious about The Aunties. She is constantly comparing herself to other women..younger women. Then she realizes that what she does possess is the wisdom that only age brings. It is a beauty that cannot be matched by a young, fit body. And she forms a new appreciation and respect for The Aunties.

I am beginning to appreciate that. I am starting to love my wisdom; a wisdom that comes from God. I am learning to appreciate the beauty that comes with age…maybe not a physical beauty but the beauty of knowing God in an intimate way.

I am constantly trying to re-align my values with His…that how I look is not as important as how I am. That what the world values is not what God values. Some days I do better than others but I think the days seeing it from God’s point of view are getting more numerous.

Today, may you value who God made you to be. May you value being known more than being beautiful. And may you thank Him for the wisdom that He has given you. Enjoy today and honor the aunties...no matter what your age. :0)

Grace and peace,
Deb

deep well

“Everything about our modern lives fights against taking time to satisfy the needs and longings of the soul. Yet if there is one place I am allowed to be selfish, it’s in the care of my soul. Out of such selfishness, I become more selfless in caring for the needs of those in my sphere of influence.”

Stephen Macchia

Many would say that the practice of silence and solitude is selfish…even ‘navel gazing’. It’s true that I am protective of my time in the morning. I want to be alone…I want to be alone with God. I love that time. But…I know that when I spend that time, I am so much more available for others throughout the day. Not only to the people I love but those I come in contact with. I see those interactions as being orchestrated by God. I can give out of a deep, full well, rather than trying to give out of a well that is dry because I haven’t taken the time to pay attention to my own relationship with God.

To be sure…the introspective life is one of investing time in yourself. But if I do it to only enrich myself, I am missing the point. One reason God gives His love and presence to me so that I can give it to others.

May you take the time to invest in your relationship with God. May you spend time just sitting in His presence. May you take the riches He shares with you during that time and carry them into your day. Share them with those He brings into your path…and go to bed tonight knowing that you gave deeply from the well of God’s love.

Grace and peace,
Deb