I can remember when I first became a believer that there was this definite line drawn in my new life. There was black, which was all I had left behind…the world and all it holds and then there was white…the new ‘spiritual’ world I had walked into. As I grew in my faith, that line got bolder and bolder. It seemed pretty easy to tell what activity, what behavior belonged where. There were secular activities and sacred activities. The secular included certain kinds of music, certain kinds of movies, certain kinds of books, behaviors, activities, etc. These were on the ‘black’ side of the line. On the white side of the line were different types of music, movies, books, behaviors, and activities. I was ok as long I chose the ‘white’ side. It made being a Christian easier. Most things could be categorized as either secular or sacred, non-Christian or Christian, black or white. Most things included people. I regret to say that sometimes I felt some superiority being on the ‘right’ side.
As God often does, He shook up my world. He took His big eraser and blurred the lines. The black blurred into the white, the white blurred into the black and there was this large area of grey. Great. Now how do I tell which is which? How do I categorize?
I think Jesus was showing me that he is the one who determines what is black and what is white. Everything belongs to him…all is his and he is the one who sees the heart. Things aren’t always as they seem. For example, Pharisees ~ white, harlots ~ black, right? But Jesus saw it differently. It wasn’t so easy, so simple, so obvious.
There is black and there is white but there is so much more grey. I’m becoming more comfortable with grey.
Peace,
Deb
Friday, July 13, 2007
grey
Posted by deb at 5:43 AM
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I find that when I staunchly try to stay in the black and white and exclude the grey I wreak havoc on my own weaknesses. I get caught in the stickiness of my "judgmental" attitude and sinfulness. God asks us to seek Him for the wisdom to discern and to follow Him no matter what the color we wade through. As for people, we are to love the sinner and not the sins no matter what color they choose to dwell in most. That's hard.
Yesterday I came across a verse (Romans 2:1-2) that pretty much nailed me. "You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God's judgment against those who do such things is based on truth." So often I am tempted to judge people based on my interpretations of the right side but every time I do that my love for them is tarnished drastically and in no way is God glorified. Often, details are eventually revealed that can change my "judgments" and I realize that my attitude choices were based on lies and not truth. Thankfully God's judgment on me is one of mercy and grace. He wants me to honor him by at the very least, avoiding the black...choosing only white would make me appear self-righteous, while walking in the grey reveals my humanity made white not of my own doing. God's kindness is revealed to me there and that is needed for me to see my need for repentance (something I'm learning I need to pursue more). Without the grey my need for God would fade.
I am guilty of the same, trying to put things where they belong, because it is easier for me to control, but they are not for me to control. And that is something that I am working on now. I thought I gave control up, but I now realize that I haven't. And I have to come to the realization that what I have been doing in the past has not worked for me, and I have to try something new. But that first step is the hardest!!
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