Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend. We were talking about some of the barren trees in our lives...about the people that God allows to come into our lives that are difficult. They push us to the limits of our human capabilities. Without God and His love, we would…hmmmm…what do I say here? We would say things we shouldn’t say, we would do things we shouldn’t do.
To speak for myself, sometimes these people say and do things, it seems, on purpose, to hurt me or those I love. I can easily become defensive and want to lash out. I am ashamed to admit I may spend some time planning what I might want to say or do. Thankfully, most of the time, before I act on that, I yield. God begins to work inside me and remind me that people usually act like that out of their brokenness. When I take the time to consider that, I can back up and try to look at them through God’s eyes. How does He want me to be with them?
One of the questions I have begun to ask myself is, “What would love do?” Don’t get me wrong…sometimes love is tough. Sometimes love needs to say hard things…set boundaries….say ‘no’. But, for me, those things can come from my sinfulness, not my ‘love’ for the other person. So the only way I can check myself is to ask “What would love do?” What is God asking me to do, how is He asking me to be with this person in this circumstance? Then, I need to act on that. It isn’t always what I want to do, but it is what I am asked to do. It doesn’t always work out either. It isn’t like “You do this and it will all turn out ok.” Hardly. But doing the right thing is still doing the right thing. I do it because it is the right thing, not to get a certain result.
Next time someone hurts you, try to step back and consider asking yourself the question, “What would love do?”. Then work towards that.
Peace,
Deb
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
barren trees and love
Posted by deb at 12:06 AM
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2 comments:
It is true, that people "act that way, out of their own brokenness" I experienced this myself,(many times) and through friends showing me the actual face of Jesus in the midst of my acting out, I came to the understanding that my behavior was directly related to some kind of hurt, or my own sin. Recognition of this in myself has been the most freeing experience. Not that I recognize this immediately, because I don't, but I do eventually. Sometimes I am able to do this myself and start the process of asking God to reveal to me where my reaction came from, then taking what steps are necessary. Sometimes I need to ask for forgiveness, and then I can start the healing process. Sometimes I have to break open that "sore" several times before I can respond to something, instead of react out of some hidden hurt. This recognition for myself has been invaluable when I work with other hurting people. Be it in my family, my friends or the people I work with. Understanding myself and why I sometimes operate the way I do....Understanding God and that he LOVES me....enables me to afford a tiny piece of love to another hurting person.
This has been a very tough learning experience, but through it comes incredible serenity. I am so thankful to the people that God placed in my life to walk with me through the Barren Forest that used to be my life.
Jane,
Thank you for the reminder that not only do we need to recognize that others' hurtful behavior towards us comes from their brokenness but when we hurt others,it can come from the same source. When I look back to times where I have been spiteful or purposely hurtful towards someone else, I need to look at where that is coming from. Sometimes it comes out of my brokenness and sometimes right out of my sin. I need to constantly be going back to Jesus to ask Him to help me not to react but to respond the way He wants me to.
Thanks again for sharing your journey with such honesty.
Love,
Deb
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