being

So many times I would substitute doing things for God for being in relationship with God. Sometimes it was easier. I knew what I was to do and I did it. I could look back at the end of the day and see what I had accomplished. I felt I could gauge my ‘spirituality’ by how much I had done for God. And…it certainly made it easier for others to see how spiritual I was. I truly thought that was the way my spiritual life was supposed to evolve.

Then I woke up one day and realize that wasn’t working any longer. I could go through the motions but there was an emptiness inside. I began to ask questions like, “Is this all there is?” or “Is there some sin I am not aware of that feels as if it is wearing me down, taking any joy out of my walk with God?” And to be honest, it didn’t happen so simply. It really didn’t happen when I woke up one morning. As I look back it had been happening for a long time. Actually, I think I did more ‘doing’ to make up for what I was missing. It was a tough time because I didn’t know what I was missing, what I was yearning for, deep down.

God was so faithful. As I started to notice that something was out of sorts, I simply asked God to show me what it was I needed. How did He want me to be with Him? What did that look like? I sought out counsel, I read books, I waited and trusted the Holy Sprit to lead and guide me into a deeper relationship with Jesus. And, gradually, it began to happen. It was a slow, unfolding of being with God in a different way, a slower, more reflective way. It has been a challenging process, but a beautiful one.

This journey has been one of intention now…my intention to be aware of God’s movement in my life and what He is calling me to do in response to that. I think this quote from Thomas Kelly describes it well:

“The currents of His love have been flowing but whereas we had been drifting in Him, now we swim.”

Be intentional, today, in your relationship with Him. Swim in the deep love He has for you and allow yourself to just ‘be’.

Peace,
Deb