fill your space

“The one worrying thing was that I might not be given time to carry out the whole scheme. I felt as though I was about to fill a space in the world that was meant for me and had long awaited me, a mold, as it were, made for me alone, but discerned by me only in this very moment. I was a molten substance, impatient, unendurably impatient, to pour into my mold, to fill it full, without any air bubbles or cracks, before I cooled and stiffened.

Later the true significance of what happened would inevitably become clear to me, and I would be numb with surprise.”

Alexander Solzhenitsyn

I am living this. The last four years have been amazing. I have felt invited to ‘fill a space’. At first, it took me time to really believe that the invitation was for me. You know – someone says “You – I pick you”, and you are looking behind you because you are sure they must be talking to someone else. But, there is no one behind you. So, you look at them and say “Are you talking to me?” minus the Robert De Niro accent. You stand back and wait for them to say “Oh yeah, sorry – I had you confused with someone else”, but they don’t. It is you.

When you realize the invitation is for you, you either say ‘Great!’ or you say, “I am not sure I can do it”. I think it is called the Moses Syndrome. I had Moses Syndrome. It seemed clear God was inviting me to fill a particular space but I wasn’t sure I was up to the task….like he didn’t already know whether or not I could do it.
Slowly, I came to trust God’s judgment over my own and walk into His invitation. Once I accepted it, I continued to listen and discern the next right step.

The line I most resonate with in this quote is, “…I would be numb with surprise.” It has been an incredible journey and I feel as if it is only beginning. He continues to invite through a variety of avenues and I continue to accept. Each time, I am numb with surprise.

What might God be inviting you today? What space in the world might He be asking you to fill? Will you say yes? He knows you and knows what you were made for. Trust Him and go fill your space in the world.

Grace and peace,
Deb