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Saturday, May 29, 2010

and even more beauty


I hope you don’t mind me spending extra time on Margaret Becker’s reflections. I just think, especially as women, most of us struggle with this issue so I want to give it the attention it deserves. We left off yesterday with what, from Margaret’s point of view, the cost is of not living fully, in the moment….what really is that all about?

She calls it – sin. This is how she says it:

“God created us in His image. He created us individually to be part of both a central and an individual purpose. When we feel uncomfortable in our own skin, it is as if we are saying that God made a mistake. We are not right somehow. The end result is that we are then judging God – His handiwork- and then we are God and He is not."


Wow! Those are tough words. Those words cut me to the quick. How many times have I questioned how I was made? I won’t bore you with listing the struggles I had and still have. There are plenty of them. But, when I do that, I am questioning God and the way He created me.

Margaret says that this thought brought her to her knees and this is the prayer she offered to God:

Forgive me, God. Forgive my idols. Forgive my stupidity. Show me what is real. Teach me what is beautiful. Rend the veil on my soul. Help me to live to the outer limits of my senses, unedited, free in your grace
.

This is my prayer. I want to live today, to the outer limits of my senses, unedited and free in God’s grace. This is my prayer for you as well. What would this look like in your life? Consider that today and invite God to show you how to live this life a different way.

I would encourage you to pick up a copy of Coming Up for Air. It is a beautiful read, full of truth and hope. Thank you, Ms. Becker!!

Peace,
Deb

Friday, May 28, 2010

'more' beauty


Hoping that you had time to sit with the thoughts from yesterday, let me share more of what Margaret Becker wrote about her experience with God in light of the ‘bathing suit’ moment. She continues:


“I came to a dead stop at a more cruel truth: the opportunity missed, fun not had, living left unlived, clothes unworn, swims not taken, glances shied away from, and time – precious, unsalvageable time – wasted from my living in the phantom shadow of ‘when’ and ‘if’.”

Some time ago, I had a conversation with someone I work with. I commented on how nice she looked; that she had a flair about her that day. She mentioned that she had all these ‘fun’ clothes at home that she used to wear when she worked in the corporate world, but felt she had to dress much more conservatively in the church setting. She didn’t usually like the way she looked when she came to work, but on this particular morning she had decided to break out of the box a bit. We talked about how we hold these perceptions about what we should act like and how we should dress…but that sometimes it isn’t being who we really are. Now I’m not saying we should act or dress inappropriately but that doesn’t mean that we all need to act alike or look alike.

God created us uniquely. Our bodies, our minds, our gifts. You need to celebrate that uniqueness and live life with zest, because if you don’t……well….you’ll have to check tomorrow to see where Margaret’s journey takes us.

And my friend? She threw out all her ‘church work’ clothes and is wearing the clothes that she enjoys. It makes me smile inside when I see her in the hall and she inspires me, in that small way, to live more fully into who God created me to be.


Peace,
Deb

Thursday, May 27, 2010

beauty


One of my favorite books is a book written by Margaret Becker called “Coming up for Air”. Margaret Becker is an awesome Christian contemporary music artist, but, in my opinion, she is an even better writer.

One section of this book that spoke to me was when she observed several older women sitting out by a pool in their bathing suits. They were having a wonderful time. The thought ran through her head to go get her suit and join them but then she remembered that she was ten pounds overweight so she dismissed the idea.

In the middle of this thought she came to the realization that there was a voice inside her that said things like

“When I ____________, then I will_________.”

Or

“If I ________________, then____________ will happen.”


As she thought about this she began to ask herself some questions:

When did I start stuffing myself into a tiny definition of beauty?
Why can’t I wear that bathing suit?
What’s the matter with me?
Whose standard of beauty have I been embracing?
Whose standard of confidence am I assuming?
Whose life’s rules am I following as I decide whether or not to live passionately, free from conformity?
Is this something you struggle with? I know I do. Reading this on the page made it come to life for me. How many times have I missed out on doing something I wanted to do because of fear, inferiority, lack of confidence, etc.? Are these questions you have ever asked yourself or have you taken time to notice that you censor yourself in this way?

Consider spending some time with these questions and noticing if you are restricting the freedom that God wants you to have…if you have unconsciously decided not to live the passionate life He desires for you. Give some thought to this and tomorrow we will explore this further.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

trust



“I want to trust Him more than I want to not believe in myself.”

I have spent many years not believing in myself. For many reasons, I have thought that whatever I am doing, someone else could do better. Whatever I feel called to, someone else would do better. When I sense God saying, “This is what I want you to do - ”, I look over my shoulder to see who He might be speaking to. Seeing no one, I turn back to Him and he says…”Yes - you.”

I can spend so much energy and time wondering if what I am hearing are just my own thoughts or if they are truly from Him. My normal mode of operation is to doubt and wait for God to speak louder. But, a couple of months ago, there was a shift. I realized that not trusting myself was a sign of me not trusting God to do what He wants to do in and through me. I found myself writing the above quote in my journal.

Sometimes it feels that what He is asking is way beyond my ability, my experience, my giftedness….and it is. Because if it wasn’t it would be way too easy for me to do it on my own and take the credit. Instead He chooses to work in me in a way that allows me to use the gifts He has given while always keeping the task just beyond…or sometimes…way beyond what I could ever do on my own, because then I need to lean into Him.

I realized that I wanted to trust Him more than I wanted to not believe in myself and I think God is pleased with that.

Are there places where you do not believe in yourself – in the work God has done in you and wants to do through you? Consider how you might move to a place of wanting to trust God more than not believing in yourself.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

holiness


“Holiness, not happiness, is the chief end of man. “

Oswald Chambers

This quote is directly opposed to what the culture has taught me. I grew up thinking that God wanted me to be happy. And…it wasn’t just the culture that taught this but the church as well. Several churches I had been involved in, in the past, reinforced this. If I was ‘doing’ all the right things…going to church, praying, living right…my life would be good and I would be happy. I would have enough money, good health, and my children would be model citizens.

I have talked to so many people who are struggling through difficult times and they ask, “What am I doing wrong?” They are looking for the right formula, as if they can control God by doing certain things and viola, achieve happiness.

If right behavior and doing good things for God made our lives happy and easy, then how do we explain Paul’s life? He was always in some sort of trouble; shipwrecks, beatings, prison, etc. His life should be an example to me that living a life pleasing to God doesn’t mean I will always be happy.

Working to be happy seems easy enough, but to be holy? The bar has been raised. I think God knows that happiness will make me complacent and soft. But in pursuing holiness I need to look deeply at my heart and notice all those things within me that are not holy. I then need to surrender them to God and ask Him to change me, from the inside out. Happiness only lasts as long as the good times, but holiness will sustain me through the tough times too.

Do you think you have bought the package that advertises ‘happiness’ for all who love God? Or have you come to the place where you realize happiness is not the chief end and that you desire for God to move you towards holiness?

Peace,
Deb

Monday, May 24, 2010

faith


One author says this about faith...“….Faith is finally this: resting so utterly in the character of God – in the ultimate goodness of God – that you trust Him even when He seems untrustworthy.”

The author also talks about the fact that "one moment in our lives can change everything. One moment that can’t be undone, can’t be contained, can’t be accounted for, that demolishes in a single instant, a lifetime of entire moments."

I am sure that everyone reading this can identify at least one moment in their lives that reveals this as truth. The moment you found out your parents were getting a divorce, the moment you, or a loved one got a terminal diagnosis, the moment you found out that the one you trust and love cheated on you, the moment you found out your child made a decision that will forever alter their lives…I could go on and on. We have all had at least one of these moments and probably more than one.

In those moments, all that we have learned and know intellectually about God and who He is can fall to the wayside. Our shattered heart claws at our faith, desperately trying to hang onto it, like a drowning man hanging onto a piece of floating wood.

Faith is a noun when the world is right but it quickly becomes a verb when our world is turned upside down.

I think the bottom line is - do I trust in the sovereignty of God only when things are going well? That doesn’t seem to require much from me. But to trust in His sovereignty when my heart is broken, when grief is so overwhelming that I can’t seem to catch my breath, when one moment redefines everything that I knew to be my life, that is the definition of faith.

As you reflect on this, can you think back to a time when everything changed for you…a time when there was a BEFORE and an AFTER…when life was forever altered? How did you respond? Did you cling to God or run from Him…maybe even blame Him? I invite you to spend some time today thinking about how you have responded to God in the past during tough times and how much you think you may be able to trust Him with whatever lies ahead for you.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Saturday, May 22, 2010

creation


God, brilliant Lord,
yours is household name.

Nursing infants gurgle choruses about you,
toddlers shout the songs
That drown out enemy talk
and silence atheist babble.

I look at your macro-skies, dark and enormous,
your handmade sky-jewelry,
Moon and stars mounted in their settings
Then I look at my micro-self and wonder,
Why do you bother with us?
Why take a second look our way?

Yet we’ve so narrowly missed being gods,
bright with Eden’s dawn light.
You put us in charge of your handcrafted world,
repeated to us your Genesis-charge.
Made us lords of sheep and cattle.,
Even animals out in the wild,
Birds flying and fish swimming,
whales singing in the ocean deeps.

God, brilliant Lord
Your name echoes around the world.

Psalm 8
The Message


I invite you to spend some time with this portion of scripture today. Read it through two times, slowly. Pay attention to what God might be saying to you…just to you, in these words. What draws your heart? Allow yourself some time and space to allow the Spirit to move within you.

Peace,
Deb

Friday, May 21, 2010

enough


Sometimes God speaks to me in a way I can best describe as a ‘gentle’ nagging. I mean that in the best possible way. One example was several years ago when I was away. I was in a program that required me to do a 12 day residency. The schedule allowed for us to spend time alone with God. I had asked Him, before I left for the residency, to speak to me. I asked specifically for Him to use this time to speak to me about something I might need to change.

While at dinner one night, I thought about going back for seconds. As I went to move out of my chair, I sensed a word being impressed on my spirit. The word was ‘enough’. It would have been easy for me to dismiss that, but I had asked God to speak to me and I was not going to miss it. I listened. I sat back down. And…you know what? It was enough. As I took some time to notice, I was comfortably full.

God didn’t only want to speak to me about my eating. The other time I heard the word ‘enough’ was when I was talking. I am an extrovert, by nature. And…I can be talkative. For the past several years or so, I have been noticing that I have not felt the need to talk as much. I think the journey into a more contemplative Christianity has calmed me, changed my way of being in the world.

But, what I heard at the residency was ‘Enough…stop talking unless you are talked to’. My first thought was, “ Wow…are you kidding?” But as that thought passed, I again, remembered that I had asked God to speak and I wanted to listen. I resolved to be quiet. I sat through meals quietly, I didn’t share in the groups, I withheld opinions and thoughts. And you know what? The world didn’t come to an end. Hmmm…others do just fine without interjecting my thoughts and I actually heard things I’m sure I wouldn’t have had I felt the need to speak. Through the silent times, God continued to speak to me about other things. While journaling, truths were revealed that I hadn’t recognized before. Growth was also evident. It was a rich experience for me.

It still amazes me to realize that God is always speaking….I just need to stop and listen.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Thursday, May 20, 2010

awareness


“The world is charged with the grandeur of God”


Gerald Manley


Today, pay attention to the world around you….the beauty of nature, the warmth of spring, the joy of relationships and the ultimate wonder of being loved by Jesus. The grandeur of God is intimately held in all of those things.

Peace,
Deb

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

trust


trust

When Brooke, my daughter, was in high school, she had a bumper sticker on her car that said:

“Protect me from what I want.”


I don’t know if the person who came up with that saying was a believer or not but I have thought, many times, how that needs to be a constant prayer for me. I seem to have tunnel vision when it comes to my ‘wants’. I also think I know best.

So I’d have these plans and I’d take them to God but what I really was looking for was His stamp of approval. I’d be pretty disappointed if He didn’t quite see it my way.

But, with the perspective of distance and the benefit of hindsight, I can see all the times, when I thought He was withholding things from me, He was protecting me….from what I wanted. I think about how different some things in my life might be and it’s frightening.

God sees the whole picture. I can only see one slice of it. Why, if I know that He loves me more than anyone else ever could…He loves me in a way I cannot even comprehend, why, why, why, can’t I easily trust Him with whatever He allows to come into my life? I ponder how different my life would be if I would live into that reality everyday and not just the hit and miss way that seems to be more the norm for me.


My prayer for today:


God,

Please let me trust you fully today. Let me abandon myself to you and to your plans for my life. Bring to my memory all the times you saved me from what I wanted. Help me to want what you want. Thank you for your love.

Deb

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

worry


“Worry is praying for what you don’t want.”

Hmmm. Think about that. Worry - something you do that produces nothing but anxiety. I can think back to times I have worried about something. Did it change the outcome? No. If things turned out badly, my worrying did nothing to make that happen. And, if they turned out well, I wasted all that energy on something that never came to pass. A huge expenditure of energy with no return, maybe even negative effects when we think about what stress does to us.

Returning to the quote….does ‘worry’ become my prayer? If I give more time and attention to what I don’t want to happen than to what I do want to happen, what does that say about where my energy…or my faith is placed? What would it be like to actually leave the outcome in God’s hands? I know….easier said than done. But, what a freeing place to camp.

Consider what it is that you are choosing to worry about today. Sit quietly, take some deep breaths and release it to God. When you realize that you have picked it back up during the course of the day….breath and release it again. Keep choosing to release.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Monday, May 17, 2010

discernment


“The Spirit of God is a sacred presence in every person who is born into the world. It was Fox’s belief that if we would sit in stillness and “wait patiently for the Lord” eventually God’s spirit within us would stir and we would feel the Spirit quaking within us.”

The God of Intimacy and Action: Reconnecting Ancient Spiritual Practices, Evangelism, and Justice – Tony Campolo and Mary Darling


The pace of life can drown out our ability to discern God’s leading. I can be so busy doing good things that I can miss what is most important – to sense God’s spirit within.

This past weekend I went away with two friends. The three of us are moving towards developing a non-profit organization. This is our second ‘discernment’ weekend. We have a rhythm to these weekends. We rest, we spend time alone in silence, we pray, we listen, we plan. We want God to lead us, to be as big a part of our process as is our logic and our gifts. Our desire is that we would sense God’s leading in every part of the process. To do that, we feel we need to create space and make time to listen. The listening is as important as the strategy.

And we know that where we began this journey and how we move through it will be what emanates out to those we wish to serve.

It may not be the most expedient way to design and develop a non-profit but it seems right to us. The Spirit is quaking!

May you take the time today to sit….sit and be still. May you sense the Spirit stir.

And to my partners - I appreciate your presence in my life and your willingness to be uncompromised when it comes to your desire to wait and listen to hear God's voice in this work.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Saturday, May 15, 2010

space


O God, I am seeking
for ways to be,
less encumbered
ways to
simplify my life:
ways to build
s p a c e s and silences
into a full life
of busyness
and noise.

Teach me to find that
quiet center of self
that you have
hidden within me,
a resting in
your presence.


~Jamie Watkins

Recently, I had conversations with two different women. Each of them spoke of having a recent intimate experience with Jesus. They each had a very different experience, suited to who they were and how God speaks in their lives. They both had tears in their eyes when they reflected on their experiences.

Each of these women has spent time over the last year creating space in their lives for God. They have practiced ‘being’ with him and nurturing their ability to listen to him in silence. Out of this fertile place comes a deeper, richer relationship with Jesus and the increased ability to discern his voice and movements in their lives.

Learning to be silent before God is not easy but it leads us in to a deeper place with Him.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Friday, May 14, 2010

yielding


“…Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you'll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want.”


I Peter 4:1&2


Recently, I read this verse and it caused me to stop and think. I still expect to get my own way. And, when I don’t…..well, let’s say it this way….I may be ‘sitting on the outside but I’m standing on the inside’. In other words, I may be able to semi-hide my frustration to others but I’m feeling it inside. As I continued to think about this, it is a sign of my immaturity.

When you have a child, you know that it’s not good for them to always get their own way. That’s the best way to create a little human being who thinks the world revolves around them and they should always get their way.

Think a moment about Helen Keller. What a small world she lived in until Annie Sullivan came along. Annie did not look so much at her disability as at her behaviors – acting wild, taking food off other’s plates, having tantrums. Annie put a stop to it. Helen went through immense suffering during those first few days as her world was turned upside down. The immediate pain was deep and confusing for both she and her family, but Annie had a plan “to prosper her and not to harm”.

The immediate suffering gave birth to a new world for Helen. She opened up to the world of words, symbols and language. She was finally able to give and receive love from her parents…and also Annie. She went on to graduate from college and become a well-known author. That would never have happened without the suffering of letting go of the old self-centered behaviors.

I don’t want to continue to live with the tyranny of being focused on ‘what I want’. I want to be willing to let go of ‘getting my way’ and allow God to mold me, through the disappointments, into someone who is more attuned to what God wants than what she wants.

Is this a struggle for you? Do you ever fall victim to the tyranny of needing to get your own way? If so, I invite you to offer that struggle to God and allow the Holy Spirit to begin that work in you.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Thursday, May 13, 2010

presence


I Simply Come to be with You

God of earthquake, wind and fire,
and of the still small voice
and of the silence,
I bring my presence
to your presence
as a gift to you ~
the only gift that I in fact can give~
for all the other gifts
are gifts you have given
which I can but return to you.

I do not come to speak or hear,
I do not come to think or do,
But Lord of Lords, and very God,
I simply come to be with you.

~Anne Shotwell

Why is one of the simplest things God wants from me so hard to do? Give me a task, a job to do and I know how to do that. I know how to start it and I know when it’s done. I can measure it. But just ‘being’ with God…how do I measure that? How do I know if it’s been long enough or been of sufficient quality?

When I start to ask questions like this, I know that I am totally missing the point. Once again, I fall back on how I measure His love for me, His approval of me. I forget, all too quickly, that He loves me…period. And that to have me just sit in His presence, no matter how long, no matter how it may feel to me, is in itself, pleasing to Him. To go to Him and not ask for anything must be very refreshing to Him.
It reminds me of when my children were little. So many times they would come to me to ask me something…”Mom, can I have this…?” "Mom, can I do that…?.” I also remember very sweet times when they would come and sit next to me on the couch. I would get ready for the next question….and there wasn’t one. They just wanted to be next to me. I think that’s what it may be like for God when I just want to get close to him, sit near Him and be in His company….a very sweet time.

If you have never tried just ‘being’ with Him, crawl up in His lap today and just sit with Him. Create a sweet time.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

being



I would ask that you sit with the words and allow God to speak to you in the way He wants.


Peace,
Deb

O my God,
whom I adore,
help me to become
wholly forgetful of self,
that I may be immovably rooted in you
and calm as though I was already in eternity.

May nothing disturb my peace
or draw me forth from you,
O my unchanging Holy One,
but may I at every moment penetrate more deeply
into the depths of your mystery.

~Elizabeth of the Trinity

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

unlikely source


“When will you ever see yourself clearly?”

Edward to Bella – Breaking Dawn

Ok…I admit it. I read Twilight…and all the sequels. My daughter kept telling me how much she had enjoyed them. I asked her what they were about and promptly told her I really didn’t want to read a novel about vampires. I have nothing against vampires. Ok…before everyone starts sending in the comments, I know that historically, the belief is that vampires are damned and embody some form of evil. But I have always been drawn to them. I was so excited when I actually got to visit Dracula’s castle in Transylvania a few years ago. (This may be the same part of me that enjoys MMA, but that is for another post).

Anyway, she wore me down and I finally agreed to read the first book. I could not put it down. Now, I’ve read better written literature but it really was a page turner for me. It was a guilty pleasure. I would stay up late to read, wake up early to read…you get the point. I finished the first, then the second, the third and finally was working on the fourth. Near the end of the book, Edward was having a conversation with Bella and he said “When will you ever see yourself clearly?” Now, I am not sure what exactly happened in that moment but it as if God spoke those words directly to my heart. I put the book down and cried. Then I journaled. I realized that He wanted me to hear those words. For what I was going through at that time, those words were like a balm to my soul.

And I was amazed that God would use a book about vampires to speak to my heart. How cool is that? What that said to me is that I limit how and where I think God may speak.

Today, may you open your eyes, your ears, and your heart to see, hear and receive what God has for you in the way He wants to bring it. Don’t limit Him. You may be very surprised at the places or the ways He shows Himself to you.
Grace and peace,
Deb

Monday, May 10, 2010

An Altar in the World


“Jesus walked a lot, and not only during the last week of his life. The four gospels are peppered with accounts of him walking into the countryside, walking by the sea of Galilee, walking in the temple, and even walking on the water. If Jesus had driven a car instead, it is difficult to imagine how that might have changed his impact. Surely someone could have loaned him a fast horse. Instead, he walked everywhere he went, except for short stints on a donkey at the end. This gave him time to see things, like the milky eyes of the beggar sitting by the side of the road, or the round black eyes of the sparrows sitting in their cages at the market.
If he had been moving more quickly – even to reach more people – these things might have become a blur to him. Because he was moving slowly, they came into focus for him, just as he came into focus for them.”


Barbara Brown Taylor, An Altar in the World

As I ponder the work and life of Jesus, he was in no hurry. He moved slowly and deliberately in his work and in his relationships. He certainly wasn’t uncaring or apathetic. No one had the passion he possessed. And – it isn’t because he didn’t know what is meaningful to people. He certainly knows – he helped create the species.

When we look at his life, he was focused. For three years, he built into the lives of a handful of people, some chosen men and women, who expressed a desire to live in close community with him and learn from him. I think he sensed the desire in them and discerned that this was the group that he would pour his life into. Somehow he knew that if he took the time to teach, love, and commune with these individuals, they would in turn do that with others.

I wouldn’t say that numbers were unimportant to him – it was his desire that none perish – but it seems he knew that the way to do the work was one by one, slowly, intentionally, creating space for the Spirit to work, creating depth.
Are you walking or running through life? Do you notice those around you or do you need to get on to more important things? Have you allowed the work to be more important than the people? Have you put ‘results’ above relationships? Do you understand and honor the slow work of God, of transformation?

God has called me into a ministry of being intentional with the people He brings into my path. I can lose sight of this, looking for the ‘next thing’ or feeling I am not meeting the expectations of others.

Lord – help keep me – keep us – walking slowly so we don’t miss what You have for us to see. May we walk slowly like You.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Saturday, May 8, 2010

space


This is a theme I will write about often. Why? Because we need it so desperately and so few of us know how to achieve it. Why is it important? Because without it, we lose perspective. We are driven by the things that are urgent but not important and miss what is important. Without it, we are more likely to miss God’s movement in our lives.

As women we spend large amounts of our time taking care of others. We are usually the last ones on the list and when we take time for ourselves, we feel guilty about it. Perhaps you can think of it like this…taking some time for yourself is creating space for God. Creating space for God allows us to deepen our relationship with Him and become more of who He intended us to be.

Consider this quote by Anne Morrow Lindberg:

“For it is only framed in space that beauty blossoms. Only in space are events and objects and people unique and significant – and therefore beautiful. A tree has significance if one sees it against the empty face of sky. A note in music gains significance from the silences on either side. A candle flowers in the space of night. Even small and casual things take on significance if they are washed in space….”


How much space do you have in your life? Can you appreciate the little things, the simplicity of life, the beauty in the small things, the movement of God in your life, the incredible simplicity and complexity of the creation around us? Do you have the space to grow in intimacy with Jesus? To listen to Him speaking into your life?

Invite God to show you how to create some space in your life so that days do not become weeks, weeks become months and months become years all without taking the time to notice what is truly precious.

Peace and Grace,
Deb

Friday, May 7, 2010

identity


“You must see what great love the Father has lavished on us by letting us be called God’s children – which is what we are.”

1 John 3:1

Re-read this scripture, slowly. Let the truth of it sink in. The God of the universe has chosen you. He is calling you His own. What can be better than that? I love thinking about this and considering how I might be changing because this reality is more than just an intellectual thought…it is a truth beginning to take hold in my heart.

I wanted to find a way to hold this in a deeper way so I re-wrote it for myself:


“Look and see the great love my Father has lavished on me…by letting me be called ‘His beloved daughter’ – which is what I am.”

Each of us can say this. Take some time today to ponder this treasure from God’s word. Re-write it and make it your own. Let it be one of those truths that moves from your head down into your heart.

Peace from one of His children,
Deb

Thursday, May 6, 2010

rest


rest

And so, let me let you hold me
when I have come to the place
beyond the willingness to labor,
beyond anything but the longing for rest.
Let my emptiness be emptiness
till it reveals to me your face
and let my weariness be weariness
till it prompts me to your rest.
Then may I know the healing of the possibility
of dreams and take up my work again.

Jan Richardson

Consider how you might enter into the rest God has waiting for you.

grace and peace,
Deb

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

pain


Pain is part of life. There is no way around it. I was talking with someone today and I said, “Tough times are coming.” Not “if’ but “when”….because that is the reality we live with. Sometimes, it seems harder to hold onto God during those painful times. I think how I choose to look at it…what perspective I bring, can either help me or hurt me when I face difficulties. The following quote brings me a beautiful glimpse of God’s love for me in the center of my pain:

In all those dark moments, O God, grant that I may understand that it is you who are painfully parting the fibers of my being in order to be able to penetrate to the very marrow of my being.

Teilhard de Chardin

This prayer rose in my heart as I reflected on this quote.


Lord,
Help me to understand that in the midst of my pain, you are so present. Help me to grasp that my pain is not wasted…that it will be used by You to mold my heart and my being to become more like You. Help me to be content in the midst of the pain and to look for You there. Please change my perspective. Allow me to embrace the place I find myself and may my response always reflect You.Thank you for Your love and care.

Love,
me

How do you look at pain in your life? Do you think you can look at it with this perspective? It definitely isn't easy but being able to see Jesus, next to you, in a painful situation can allow you to persevere and surrender to changes He wants to bring about in your life.

Peace,
Deb

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

integrity


"For when we ask how good a person is we do not ask what they believe or what they hope for but what they live."
Augustine

Everyone has blind spots. We all have those areas of our lives that we are not aware of but others certainly are. One of my concerns is that this quote may speak to one of mine. Do I live what I say I believe?? What if I only think I do?

Haven’t we all met people who speak about what they believe but it is clearly evident to everyone around them that it doesn’t match how they are living…or at least what we can see of it?

How I don’t want this to be true of me! One of my prayers is asking God to reveal the truth that lies deep within my heart that I may not be privy to. I certainly don’t enjoy seeing these things but whenever God opens up one of those dark closets, He does it with gentleness and love…and always for my own good.

May we all strive to be people who live what we say we believe. May the actions of our lives match the words we speak….or don’t speak. I love this quote by St. Francis of Assisi:


“Preach the Gospel and if necessary, use words.”


I think it really can be that simple. People are not so attracted to what we say but by how we walk through life. Today, let your life speak.

Blessings,
Deb

Monday, May 3, 2010

hospitals


“In time of sickness the soul collects itself anew.”

Latin Proverb

Today I sit in a hospital room. The day seems long, the hours crawl by. Time is measured by meals…breakfast, lunch and dinner. The time in between seems to float. There are doctors to listen to (all with a different angle on the situation, all with different solutions). There are nurses to interact with. Other patients to acknowledge. Bedpans to empty. Sheets to straighten. Pillows to adjust. Decisions to be made. One is thankful for a trip to the bathroom as it provides different scenery.

But, the hospital provides a remarkable backdrop for spiritual conversations. Deep questions. Where is God in the midst of pain? Is this punishment for things done earlier in life, she asks? And, how am I to respond to this situation – as a daughter observing her mom going through a process that is painful, frightening, uncertain and wrought with decisions, each with serious consequences? Even deep, meaningful questions like is this Saturday or Sunday?

This is the stuff life is made of – real, gritty, honest stuff. And God is here with me, with her, with us, right in the middle of blood transfusions and hospital beef stew, sock puppets (don’t ask) and heart monitors, fashionable hospital gowns and dangerous medications that she can’t live with and she can’t live without.
Yep – this is the stuff life is made and – He is here.

Grace and peace,
deb

Saturday, May 1, 2010

entering sabbath


"The only parameter that is to guide our Sabbath is delight. Will this be merely a break or a joy? Will this lead my heart to wonder or routine? Will I be more grateful or just happy that I got something done?"

Dan Allender ~ Sabbath

I am reading

Sabbath
by Dan Allender. I need it. The book, I mean. Of course I need Sabbath...we all do but I need the book to help me learn how to do a Sabbath. I've always thought of the Sabbath as a list of do's and don't's and I don't remember delight being on the list. If delight is the focus of our Sabbath time, why do you think so many of us, myself included, avoid it?

Food for thought. Please feel free to share why you don't practice Sabbath...or why you do.

grace and peace,
Deb