presence

“When you sit with a crying woman on a train, just sit with her. Do it with all your mind and heart and soul. Be fully present to her without this other agenda going on at the sidelines. In other words, do it without passing judgment on her, wanting to convert her to your point of view, desiring her appreciation, wondering what others on the train might think, worrying about the weather, or generally getting caught up in one’s own feelings, desires, and opinions of the moment. Do it the way Mary sat at the feet of Jesus – with an undivided heart.”

Sue Kidd Monk, Firstlight

There is no better gift you can give to another human being than your undivided attention. It is so much more than just giving them eye contact. If you are honest with yourself you know that you have the ability to be with someone without being with them. From the outside, it seems like you are fully present but your mind is going a hundred different directions.

Most of us have an agenda. We would never say that we do because, first, we may not realize that there is something we want from an exchange with another….their attention, to feel good about ourselves, or even looking good to others. Or perhaps we are thinking about our next meal or the plans we have for the weekend.
Being present is a learned art. The first step is acknowledging that you don’t already do it. Acknowledge that your mind is world of its own and it is difficult to tame those thoughts. Begin slowly, taking even 5 minutes every morning to be in complete silence. Focus on your breathing to give your mind something to concentrate on. When you find your mind wandering, just go back to your breathing. In time, you will be able to be more present.
You also might want to ask the Spirit to help you stay present with another. Sometimes a moment or two of silence before you move into a situation will help you focus on what is at hand.

This practice not only allows us to be more present with other people, it helps us be more present to God.

Grace and peace,
Deb