language

“Ugh! Bella! Werewolves are not good company to keep!”

Alice, New Moon

Several years ago, I spent two weeks in Guatemala in language school. It was hard – really hard. My brain hurt after two days. I don’t know why I thought it would be so easy. String a couple of Spanish words together and you speak Spanish, right? Who knew there would be verb tenses? And then there is that whole feminine and masculine thing! How am I supposed to know if a coffee pot is male or female??
None the less that didn’t stop me from trying to use what Spanish I did have to order food. How much trouble can you get into ordering food? So, with two of my friends, I confidently walked into the ice cream shop and ordered a cone – a cone with two scoops of chocolate ice cream. The person behind the counter just stared at me. One of my friends leaned over and said, “You just ordered a cone with 12 scoops of ice cream.” OK – back to charades.

I now find myself in the midst of learning a new language – right here in Pennsylvania. It’s called “SueSpeak”. My mother is inventing her own language. It takes a couple of times before I can connect the dots, but I have gotten pretty good at it – so good, that I am now the designated translator. When we are with family and she says something that makes the other person tilt their head and furrow their brow to see if they can make sense of it, I save the day with a translation.
Not that any of you will have the opportunity to run into my mom and have a conversation with her but just in case you do, here is a handy translation guide:

Apple Hill Medical Center is “Happy Valley”

Fashion Bug is “The Bug”

Longwood Gardens is “Roman Gardens”

Charlie Brown’s Restaurant is “The Brown Puppy”

Longhorn Steak House is “The Happy Horse”

The Eagles Nest Restaurant is “The Bird Nest”

Boar’s Head Deli Ham is “Boar’s Nest” ham

Anything that she cannot think of the word for is either a ‘do-floppy’,’ thing-a-magig’ or a ‘ thingy’.

And the newest and my personal favorite) is “rarewolf” which translated is werewolf.

Several weeks ago we were coming out a restaurant and there was the most beautiful full moon. We looked at and it was surrounded by a haze. She said, “It looks like the kind of moon that would bring out rarewolfs.” I said, “What did you say? She repeated her sentence. I said, “Rarewolf? It’s not called a rarewolf…it is a werewolf!” I was laughing so hard I could hardly stand up. We spent the rest of the ride home arguing about whether it was rarewolf or werewolf. She even said, “What the heck is a werewolf? That doesn’t even make sense! A rarewolf makes sense.” She has a point.

Although learning Spanish would probably be much more beneficial in the long run, learning SueSpeak has and will continue to be a blast. I am sure that someday, Rosetta Stone will come out with a SueSpeak version and you too can learn this fun language for only $250. :) In the meantime, I am getting them free of charge.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Dendroica Cerules http://www.flickr.com/photos/dendroica/5015936649/