Today is New Year’s Eve. It is the time for those oh-so-hard-to-keep resolutions. But, it is a good time to reflect on the past and to contemplate the future. Usually, I think about things like my weight, or maybe my spending habits, both of which seems to be a bit over the limit right now. :/
I also want to think about my relationship with God. I don't want to take it for granted. If, come next January one, I am in the same place with God that I am this year, that would not be a good thing. I don’t think my relationship with Him is static. I think it always changing…either moving closer to Him or moving further away. I don’t want to be further away. So, in the same way I need to monitor my food intake or my money output, I need to be aware of my relationship with Jesus. I need to set time aside to be with Him. I need to be looking for Him throughout the day in the things and circumstances that make up ordinary life. I need to surrender my agenda, my wants, my desires to Him and wait expectantly to see how He will move. That does not just happen. I need to be intentional.
Consider taking some time today or tomorrow reflecting on how you would like your relationship with God to be and what you might do to nurture it. Consider writing a letter to God letting Him know what your desires are and asking Him to reveal to you what your part looks like.
Grace and peace,
Deb
Thursday, December 31, 2009
taking stock
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Wednesday, December 30, 2009
seed
“Give over your own willing, give over your own running, give over your own desiring to know or be anything and sink down to the seed which God sows in the heart, and let that grow in you and be in you; and you will find by sweet experience that the Lord knows that and loves and owns that, and it will lead it to the inheritance of Life which is its portion.”Isaac Pennington, Quaker
Sometimes I wonder how long it will take me to get this. How long before I understand that what is being worked in me is of God and not of my doing? Somewhere deep inside I know this to be true but I forget it.
I am grateful for reminders like the quote above. When I am reminded of God’s work, I can surrender to it and stop striving under my own power to make things happen.
May you be reminded today that God has sowed a seed within you that He is bringing to fruition. May you relax into that work and let your efforts be in your conscious surrender. May you be amazed at what He will do.
Grace and peace,
Deb
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Tuesday, December 29, 2009
contemplation
“…true contemplation is never a mere retreat. Instead, it draws us deeper into right action by getting us more deeply in touch with the gifts that we have to give, with our need to give them, with the people and problems that need us. “
Parker Palmer
There was a time when I couldn’t stand to be alone. I had to always have people around me. I couldn’t bear silence. To be left alone with my thoughts was a scary thing and I avoided it at all costs.
Now, I love ‘alone’ time. I don’t mind being by myself. In fact, I love it. And, although it is lovely having time alone with God, and it is an essential piece of my spiritual growth, the spiritual life is not meant to a solitary experience. Transformation is not only about what I sense God doing within me but about how I live out what God is doing within me. I need to allow time and space for God to speak into my life, clarifying the gifts and calling He has placed inside. I then need to discern how He wants me to use those gifts, and live out that calling in a way that draws others to Him.
Are you creating space to give God a chance to reveal the gifts He has given you? Do you know what calling He has placed in your heart? Do you know how He wants you offer that to the world?
Give yourself - and others - the gift of contemplation.
Grace and peace,
Deb
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Monday, December 28, 2009
becoming
“This life therefore, is not righteousness, but growth in righteousness, not health but healing, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it; the process is not yet finished but is going on. This is not the end but it is the road; all does not yet gleam in glory but all is being purified.”Martin Luther
Our walk with God is a process. I think that sometimes we get impatient with ourselves, with others, because we think we should have ‘arrived’ by now. Spend some time dissecting this quote today and consider:
Do you expect complete righteousness or do you know that you are growing in righteousness?
Do you expect complete mental and spiritual health or do you see that, day by day, you are healing?
Do you know that you are not yet who you will be but you are growing towards it?
This is a wonderful journey you are on. Everyday moves you closer to who God designed you to be, if you are aware and moving in concert with Him. Celebrate who you are ‘becoming.’
Grace and peace,
Deb
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Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
homesick
"In You"
I put my hope in You
I lay my life in palm of your hand
I'm constantly drawn to You Lord
In ways I cannot comprehend
It's the Creator calling the created
The Maker beckoning the made
The bride finding what she's always waited for
When we find ourselves that day
[CHORUS:]
In You where the hungry feast at the table
The blind frozen by colors in view
The lame will dance, They'll dance for they are able
And the weary find rest
Oh the weary find rest in You
It's no secret that we don't belong here
Those set apart by the grace of You
And we look for the day when we go to a place
Where the old becomes brand new
Mercy Me
A couple years ago during the Christmas season I was sitting by the bedside of a friend who was going through a serious illness. In fact, she had been struggling with this illness for nearly ten years but it had grabbed hold of her and her reserves failed fast.
As I thought again about her, this year, I also reflected on the fact that this is not my home, it was not her home. It may be the only home we are aware of but it IS not how it was meant to be. I am homesick today. Although our human bodies are dying everyday, we all look for the day when we go to a place where the old becomes new, pain is a thing of the past and there are no more tears. Today is not that day.
Perhaps your Christmas wasn't all you thought it would be. Maybe you weren't able to spend it with the ones you really wanted to be with...or perhaps they have 'gone home'. May you find comfort in the fact that this isn't the way it will always be. Amen and Amen.
Grace and peace,
Deb
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Friday, December 25, 2009
the waiting is over
JOY TO THE WORLD
Joy to the world!
The Lord is come:
Let earth receive her King!
Let every heart
prepare Him room
and heaven and nature sing,
and heaven and nature sing,
and heaven and heaven and nature sing!
Joy to the world!
The savior reigns,
let men their tongues employ .
While fields and floods,
rocks, hills, and plains
repeat the sounding joy,
repeat the sounding joy,
repeat , repeat the sounding joy!
He rules the world
with truth and grace
and makes the nations prove,
the glories of His righteousness
and wonders of His love,
and wonders of His love,
and wonders, and wonders of His love.
May you sense the wonder of His love today - for you.
grace and peace,
Deb
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Thursday, December 24, 2009
reality sets in
A young teenager waits as her body begins to have a mind of its own. What is happening? What do I do? How long will this take? Where will it happen? Can you even imagine?
I remember the first time I went into labor. I was scared. I thought the car ride to the hospital would never end. Could Jeff possibly hit any MORE bumps? Was he trying to make this hard? I was so uncomfortable and that was just what I was a feeling in between contractions! Mary, a young teenager, had just ridden a donkey – for a long distance. If you’re not use to riding animals, after a couple of hours you are feeling the pain. Imagine doing that, pregnant. No paved roads, no way to avoid the bumps.
When we arrived at the hospital there was a great staff to greet us and help us along. Jeff was able to step aside and allow the nurses and doctors to help me. He provided moral support but he wasn’t expected to guide me through this. When they arrived in Bethlehem, they couldn’t find a place to stay. I am sure Joseph was hoping he would find not only a warm, comfortable place for Mary to have their baby, but hopefully some kind, knowledgeable women-folk to help her through this birth while he paced outside. What did he know about ‘birthing babies’? Probably nothing. And a barn? That is where it would happen. For the most incredible human birth in all of history…a barn. When I lived with my parents, we had horses. I spent a good deal of my time in a barn. All of the romantic pictures or nativity scenes we see about the birth of Jesus show a nice, tidy stable. I have never seen a manger scene that depicts the reality of a barn – you know what I mean. Maybe we could include some aroma therapy? Or perhaps a rat or two watching the young mother struggle to bear this child?
Then there is the birth itself. If you have never been part of one of the most amazing miracles God has graced us with, you may not be aware that it is also one of the messiest. Nothing neat and tidy about giving birth. Straining, groaning, grunting, pushing, fluid, blood….you get the idea. My point is we so often push past the reality of this event right to the outcome. When we do that we brush past the humanity of the individuals involved…Mary, Joseph and Jesus.
Mary gave birth just like women do now without all of the technology. No support except a husband who was probably scared witless. No angel came to talk them through this part of the journey. Two young people all alone waiting helplessly for their baby to be born. And Jesus- a little, tiny baby being squashed and compressed as Mary’s body did what pregnant-ready-to-deliver bodies do.
And today, that is where we are in the story. Waiting still. We are on the eve of the celebration of the birth that, I am assuming, if you are reading this blog, has changed your life and my life.
Today – be mindful that although it was the most spectacular birth in the entire history of the world, it was also an ordinary birth with all the pain, fear, excitement and mess that comes with every birth. Tomorrow we celebrate the Savior King who came to ransom us and build us a bridge back to God. Today, consider his humanity and the humanity of his parents who said ‘yes’ to this crazy, unknown, scary journey. Offer a prayer of thanks for the messy beauty of it all.
Grace and peace,
Deb
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Wednesday, December 23, 2009
preparation
Advent
Bless my soul, Lord,
At this time of waiting
And anticipation.
May your word be as benediction
As I prepare the way for
The sovereign child
The Prince of Peace
Whose throne is clay
Whose realm is
The tabernacle of
The human heart
That bids him stay.
Bless my soul, Lord,
At this time of waiting
For the promised one.
Let my creation be
A dwelling place fit for a king -
The Son of God most high
Who comes as light, as joy,
As flame-setter within…
Then, like the shepherds of long ago
I, too, will worship him.
Unknown
How are you doing today, at preparing the way - making your dwelling place, your heart, fit for a king?
Ask God what it is that need to do to prepare for a fresh indwelling of the King...a decluttering of the heart to make more space for Him to keep company with you.
Grace and peace,
Deb
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Tuesday, December 22, 2009
expectation
advent
if you came in the spring,
we could expect newness,
bright yellow flowers
to soften your path,
the songs of birds
to herald your coming.
but you came in
winter's despair;
the chill of complacency
settled upon us.
if you came in summer
we could expect you
to be bronzed,
blonde,
stepping from the sea;
but you came
in a stable,
a wrinkled baby
with animals your midwives,
and angels your playmates.
help us to set down
our parcels of expectations
to reach down and scoop
you up in our arms,
your laughing breath
giving us life.
Amen.
Thom M. Shuman
What expectations do you hold of God - for God? The worlds' expectations of how God would appear were very different from what the reality was. It is easy for us to look back from our vantage point and say "How could they have missed it? It was so clear." That is the benefit of 20/20 hindsight.
I fear that I risk the same fate as those in the 1st century. I may miss God's movement in my life right now, right here, because I bring an expectation to it. I already have, in my head, how it will look, what He will do, how it will all work out. I may be so intent on looking for what I believe will happen, that i will miss what He is really doing, how He is really speaking to me.
I encourage you as I encourage myself - let go of the expectations. Let Him come to you in any way He desires - and be open and ready to receive what He has for you. Don't miss Him because it doesn't look the way you thought it would.....be ready to be surprised.
Grace and peace,
deb
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Monday, December 21, 2009
anticipation
“The house lights go off and the footlights come on. Even the chattiest stop chattering as they wait in darkness for the curtain to rise. In the orchestra pit, the violin bows are poised. The conductor has raised his baton. In the silence of a midwinter dusk, there is far off in the deeps of it somewhere a sound so faint that for all you can tell it may be only the sound of the silence itself. You hold your breath to listen. You walk up the steps to the front door. The empty windows at either side of it tell you nothing, or almost nothing. For a second you catch a whiff of some fragrance that reminds you of a place you’ve never been and a time you have no words for. You are aware of the beating of your heart…The extraordinary thing that is about to happen is matched only by the extraordinary moment just before it happens. Advent is the name of that moment.”
— Frederick Buechner, Whistling in the Dark
The extraordinary thing that is about to happen is Christmas. We are still in the waiting but the time is approaching. Take time to be still - listen, look, smell the fragrance....savor the waiting.
grace and peace,
Deb
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Sunday, December 20, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
waiting
“Waiting for the spark from heaven to fall.”
Matthew Arnold
What an incredible picture this quote paints. It is full of anticipation and watchfulness. It is as if the whole earth is pregnant with expectation and groaning to bring it to birth.
We have had the privilege of knowing how this ‘waiting’ came to be a reality; for Mary, for Joseph, for Israel, for all who believed. As we are moving into the shadow of Christmas, may you have a sense of anticipation in the waiting.
Grace and peace,
Deb
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Friday, December 18, 2009
the gift of books
“Give books - religious or otherwise - for Christmas. They're never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal."
~ Lenore Hershey
I just don’t think you can go wrong with giving a book as a gift. Maybe that is because books are among my favorite things. Consider your list of people you still need to get a gift for. If a book seems like a good choice here are a couple of my favorites:
An Altar in the World by Barbara Brown Taylor ~ seeing the sacred in everyday life
Night Visions by Jan Richardson (a lovely book on Advent)
Coming Up for Air by Margaret Becker (a great choice to begin the new year with)
The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller
Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning
The Holy Longing by Richard Rolheiser
Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller
Finding Sanctuary by Abbot Christopher Jamison
A Hidden Wholeness by Parker Palmer
In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership by Henri Nouwen
(or any other book by these authors)
What a beautiful gift to give ~ what a perfect gift to receive.
Grace and peace,
Deb
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Thursday, December 17, 2009
Mary's song
Blue homespun and the bend of my breast
keep warm this small hot naked star
fallen to my arms.
(Rest …you who have had so far to come.)
Now nearness satisfies
the body of God sweetly.
Quiet he lies whose vigor hurled a universe.
He sleeps whose eyelids have not closed before.
His breath (so slight it seems no breath at all)
once ruffled the dark deeps
to sprout a world.
Charmed by doves' voices,
the whisper of straw, he dreams,
hearing no music from his other spheres.
Breath, mouth, ears, eyes
he is curtailed who overflowed all skies,
all years.
Older than eternity, now he is new.
Now native to earth as I am,
nailed to my poor planet,
caught that I might be free,
blind in my womb to know my darkness ended,
brought to this birth for me to be new-born,
and for him to see me mended
I must see him torn.
Luci Shaw
As we move more deeply into this Advent season, I invite you to spend some time with this poem today. Read it slowly two times, once out loud. Allow God to speak to your heart and pay attention to the words or phrases that move you. Perhaps spend some time journaling your thoughts and feelings.
Grace and peace,
Deb
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Wednesday, December 16, 2009
rest
And so let me let you hold me
when I have come to the place
beyond the willingness to labor
beyond anything but the longing
for rest.
Let my emptiness be emptiness
till it reveals to me your face,
and let my weariness be weariness
till it prompts me to your rest.
Then may I know the healing
of slumber
and the possibility of dreams;
Then may I greet the dawn and
take up my work again.
Jan Richardson
Night Visions
Please find time to rest in the midst of this busy season. Find time to rest so that you may fully enjoy the time leading up to Christmas, so that you may be fully present, for God and for others.
Grace and peace,
Deb
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Tuesday, December 15, 2009
no puzzle
“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”
~Dr. Seuss
Only Dr Seuss can remind us so uniquely that Christmas is about so much more than gifts. Indulge me as I expound on his thoughts – and Dr Seuss, please forgive me!
Don’t puzzle and puzzle until your puzzler is sore.
Christmas is about so much more than gifts galore.
It is about more than just giving and receiving,
it’s about more than just coming and leaving,
it’s about more than just food and drink,
it’s about more than what your thinker can think.
So give your worn out puzzler some much needed rest
and let your thoughts fall on what is the best,
Jesus, for sure, is the bestest gift of all,
better than whatever you can find at that mall.
So don’t puzzle and puzzle till your puzzler is sore,
Christ is certainly the reason that Christmas is more.
Grace and peace,
Dr Deb
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Monday, December 14, 2009
perspective
“When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?”
~G.K. Chesterton
Although this is a magical time of year, it can also bring up feelings that can lead us down a dark road. Wanting things we can’t afford, missing people who won’t be with us, dealing with the reality of divided families, made for tv movies that depict ‘the perfect holiday’ and memories that create nostalgia that makes the present pale in comparision…all of these and more can leave us feeling down and disgruntled.
No matter what situation you find yourself in this Christmas season, know that somewhere in the world there is a mother who will not be able to feed her children, a woman who will weigh her safety and dignity for her need for firewood or water, a child without parents living in an orphanage in India or a man who has no home for his family because they have been displaced and are living in a refugee camp. This is not meant to induce guilt but to encourage us to keep our problems in perspective. Consider reflecting on your blessings as you go through this season and praying for those who have so much less.
Grace and peace,
Deb
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Sunday, December 13, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
mountains and valleys
God of making
and unmaking,
of tearing down
and re-creating,
You are my home
and habitation,
my refuge
and place of dwelling.
In your hollows
I am re-formed,
given welcome
and benediction,
beckoned to rest
and rise again,
made ready
and sent forth.
Jan Richardson
As we move closer to Advent, we will focus on preparing our inner space to make room for Him. Today we are paying attention to where He has been through out our lives. My life in Jesus has been full of ups and downs. I have never had such incredible highs! Wonderful memories of life-changing mission trips, worshipping with new friends, in their own language, while tears streamed down my face. Seeing my children be baptized. Seeing them marry spouses who love them. Seeing my grandchildren grow. Seeing changes in my own spiritual walk which have resulted in deeper intimacy. These are the mountains.
Then there are the valleys. A difficult childhood. The death of my sister-in-law. Losing one of my children to miscarriage. Going through a deeply hurtful church experience. Struggling in my marriage. Going through the divorce of my parents. Experiencing illness; mine, my husband’s, my children’s. Seeing my children go through painful things. Walking with friends through tough times.
I trust God. I trust that He knows what is best for me and that he has been with me through all the mountains and valleys. He has a plan for me and it includes all of the above. My painful experiences have played a big part in making me who I am. He is present in all of it.
May you spend some time today reflecting on your experiences, both good and difficult, and notice where God was at work.
Grace and peace,
Deb
Check out Jan Richards' reflections on Advent at:
You will often see her poetry, which I absolutely love, in the book Night Visions.
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Friday, December 11, 2009
traditions
Tonight I participated in a function at church where we were talking about traditions celebrated by our families. We, as a family, didn’t have a lot of traditions when our children were smaller. We lived far from family and usually traveled over the holidays. As the kids got older and we stayed closer to home, we began to celebrate in some special ways. We always go to Christmas Eve service together which is very meaningful to me. My children are now married and have other families to visit ( I have learned to shared nicely), so we don’t have time together on Christmas Day but we get Christmas Eve. The candle lighting service, a nice array of appetizers and desserts and then there are the gifts. It is a sweet time.
Another tradition I began when my kids were in high school was buying them each an ornament. I have continued that tradition, now doing for their spouses and all the grandchildren.
The newest tradition - two years ago I went to an Advent Silent Retreat. One of the things I sensed God inviting me to do was to write a letter to my husband, my son, his wife, their teenage son, my daughter and her husband. I took time to tell them what I appreciated about, what they added to my life. I put the each letter in an envelope and placed them in the tree. They were able to take them and read them at home.
That was not an easy task. Not because it was hard to come up with things to say but because we do not take the opportunities to tell those close to us how we really feel. We don’t do it because it makes us uncomfortable…or we don’t so it because it might make them uncomfortable. But, as uncomfortable as it was, I know that each of them know I love them and I am glad they are in my life.
Who needs to know how you really feel about them? What would keep you for sharing that? Maybe it’s time to find the stationary and the pen…..and put down on paper what you are carrying your heart. It just might be the best gift they receive this year.
Grace and peace,
Deb
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Thursday, December 10, 2009
prayer
“Usually prayer is question of groaning rather than speaking, tears rather than words. For he sets our tears in his sight, and our groaning is not hidden from Him who made all things by His Word and does not ask for words of man.”
Augustine
Prayer should not be a list of “I want”s. Although there may be rare times that I tell God what is on my heart and mind, I feel more and more that I am being called into a time of intimacy with Jesus…not a time of talking but a time of being. A time where I surrender my agenda and my wants to Him. A time where I even surrender my need to be in control of my words. I rest in His presence and allow the Spirit to form prayer within me.
The question is not what it is that I want to pray about but what it is that God wants me to lift up to Him. I can only do that if I get myself out of the way. And be willing to not know what it is.
Sometimes that shows itself as silence. And sometimes, without knowing why, tears flow. I don’t question that any longer, trying to figure what it is about. I trust that it is my response to God and that if He wants to understand what it is, He will give that to me.
Consider spending some time today just being with God. Offer up your desire to let Him form the prayer within you. Even if you have no idea what you are praying, know that the Spirit does. Trust the prayer that has no words, that may even bring tears. Trust.
Grace and peace,
Deb
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Wednesday, December 9, 2009
ever-changing
“God is always changing the way I think of Him. I am not saying that God Himself is changing, or that my theology is one and I blur the lines on truth; I am only saying I think I know who He is and then I figure out I don’t know very much at all.”
Donald Miller
Have you ever felt this way? Felt like you had God all figured out? I have. There was a time in my life that I thought I had the whole thing figured out. God, me, life.
Now? I am somewhat closer to figuring me out. Not that there still isn’t a lot to understand but I can be patient. I can only absorb so much self-knowledge at a time. :0)
I’m kinda getting life figured out. It’s hard with places of beauty thrown in (at least that is my perspective today).
Now, about God. I am not even close. What I know is that I will never know the whole of who He is. He is mystery. What He has revealed to me is that He loves me like no one ever has or ever will. He knows what is best for me. He wants to see me be who He designed me to be. And He loves it when I can trust Him even though I am still on a daily discovery of knowing more of Him.
My theology isn’t open, except to what God wants to speak into it. He is always changing the way I think of Him. Is God the same to you today as He was 5 years ago? If so, ask Him to allow you to see something new, something fresh. It isn’t Him that is changing but your perception of Him. Open your heart and your mind.
Grace and peace,
Deb
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Tuesday, December 8, 2009
voluntary silence
“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.”
Mother Teresa
Silence is SO under-rated. And so hard to find. Often, I find myself trying to create distance from others to get some semblance of silence in my life. Yesterday I wrote about my weekend and the discernment process I am going through with my friends. We went to a lovely camp, made even lovelier by the snowfall. We had a building to ourselves which meant we could have silence when we wanted it. We appreciated that all the more after returning from the dining center that we shared with a group of elementary age kids enjoying a ‘winter blast’ weekend. The volume in that room made conversation difficult. In addition, one of the boys had a flute-like instrument that he felt the need to blow..again…and again…and again. Didn’t he know that we were deep into a spiritual process that required everyone using their inside voices? He didn’t get the memo.
I went into this weekend sick. By Saturday morning, my voice was gone. Have you ever considered how hard it is to lead a retreat when you don’t have a voice? My companions listened intently as I whispered to them. There were things I wanted to say but didn’t have the energy to. There were things I wrote on a piece of paper because it was easier. There were things that were left unsaid.
One thing I am considering is how much I contribute to the lack of silence. Why is it that I always think my words need to be heard? Can I trust God to work without my voice? When I choose not to speak, perhaps that allows room for others to speak.
I think I talk too much. My husband can confirm that. He, secretly, or not so secretly, loves the case of laryngitis I get every couple of years. He is a happy man tonight. Right now, I am involuntarily silent. I don’t have a choice. But, I want to begin to practice ‘voluntary silence’, creating space for God and others to speak. Wonder what I might learn if I just sit back and listen?
Have you ever considered how much you talk? How many times you dominate a conversation? Today, consider being voluntarily quiet, biting your tongue when you feel the need to interject something and see if the world keeps turning. I haven’t spoken in 24 hours and the earth is still turning on its axis. Amazing. :0)
Grace and peace,
Silent Deb
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Monday, December 7, 2009
space
This past weekend, I went with two friends into a weekend of discernment. Some of you may be saying to yourself – oh…a weekend of discernment! I wish I had been there (tongue in cheek). Now, it may not think it would be your ideal way to spend a weekend but you might be surprised.
The three of us have been working on the development of a non-profit for over a year now. That may seem like we are either pretty inept at pulling together an organization (and at times, we have felt that way too!). But, there is another possible explanation. We are being very intentional about listening to God and discerning His leading in this venture.
During these retreats, we have times of personal reflection, paying attention to how God may be speaking to us as individuals. We have times of coming together to share deeply. And we include times to work on some specific pieces of what we believe God is calling us to do…the actually work.
This is the second time we have made room for discernment. We always come away with a fresh vision and new pieces. But what we are constantly amazed by is the way He surprises us. When we create space for God to speak, He does, in ways we could never have predicted. Each of us heard His voice speak into our lives something new and something needed.
Create some space today to hear Him speak. Get ready to be surprised…
Grace and peace,
Deb
Posted by deb at 12:01 AM 1 comments
Saturday, December 5, 2009
darkness
Move over the face of
my deep,
my darkness,
my endless restless chaos,
and create,
O God;
trouble me,
comfort me,
stir me up,
and calm me,
but do not cease
to breathe
your Spirit into
my wakening soul.
Jan Richardson
Part of Advent is being in darkness. We wait, not always knowing what is coming. It is a matter of trust. But, do we only trust when we can know? Can we trust Him, not only when we don't know what's coming, but especially when we don't know?
If you find yourself in a place of waiting, can you sense where God is there with you? If not, instead of asking him to end the waiting, consider asking Him to reveal Himself to you as you wait.
Grace and peace,
Deb
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Friday, December 4, 2009
inner work
This week we have been focusing on looking inward to prepare ourselves for the Christmas season. Sometimes, the examination process can be hard as we look at some things in our heart that are not as we want them to be. Despite that, God’s love for us is constant.
To add to your daily examination process, consider asking yourself this question as you lay your head down on the pillow at night….
“Where did I sense God love me today?”
This question is not based on our accomplishments, our defeats, our joys or our frustrations. It is simply looking for and paying attention to how He is loving us. As you practice this discipline, I would love it if you would be willing to share how you are experiencing this in your life. Please feel free to comment.
It is a beautiful way to end your day.
Grace and peace,
Deb
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Thursday, December 3, 2009
not enough paper
I have been a Christ follower for over 30 years. You would think by now I would have it down. I never seriously thought about killing someone. I don’t think of myself as a thief. I’ve never had a drug or alcohol problem. I don’t like gambling. I normally do not lose my temper…in public.
But, I have had the urge to hit the car that ignores the red light, in the turn lane and takes 2 seconds of my green light (in fact, I was with a friend once who did just that…she hit the car…on purpose!) I have thought about taking a pen or using paper from work for personal use, justifying that I use my paper, ink, etc., from home for work things. I can say no to wine or hard alcohol (it’s easy because I don’t like the taste…unless it Kailua and cream) but it takes everything I have to not eat chocolate cake until I feel sick. The lottery holds no interest for me but if you could see darkness in my heart when I stand behind someone buying tons of lottery tickets when all I want is a gallon of milk, you would see sin. And, I know how to behave in public, how to temper my reactions to things that happen that I don’t like. But, at home, I don’t feel the same need to monitor my response.
About 27 years ago, I was driving to church (in Michigan) on a Sunday morning. A car pulled out in front of me and I hit my horn. As I continued to church, I noticed that he was turning every where I needed to turn…including the church parking lot! I dropped Jeff and the kids off at the door, found a parking spot in the back of the lot and waited in my car for the other guy to have time to move from the lobby to the sanctuary. Once I was inside, a man walked up to me, with a smile on his face , and said “I guess you don’t like the way I drive.” I wanted to sink into the floor. I apologized to him and thankfully, he accepted and our families became good friends. Lesson learned, right? No.
A couple of years ago, I was driving, (which seems to be a real testing time for me) and I was in one of those places where the road merges from two lanes into one lane. I was in the CORRECT lane and the guy in the other lane sped up to try and get around me. Somehow, my gas pedal went down and my car accelerated as well. (I have a slightly competitive spirit). He did not back down and would have hit my car rather than yield. As he pulled in front of me, I hit my horn. He gave me a wave through his window that could be interpreted as “calm down sweetie.” I fumed. My heart was beating harder and faster and my hands were shaking. I found myself driving as close as I could to his bumper. I wanted him to know how angry I was. I can even remember thinking…”this is crazy…I am crazy to let something like that upset me so much”. Fortunately I did not have the opportunity to see this man or talk to him. But the anger lingered over the next couple of hours.
My sins now seem to be more sins of attitude and motives, which can lead me into out-right identifiable sin (horn-honking and tailgating). If I took the time to write them all down, there would not be enough paper.
Thank goodness God is patient with me. I now try to allow Him to reveal those areas He wants me to work on because tackling all of them is impossible.
Consider spending some time with Him today asking what are those motives or attitudes He wants you to look at. Are there things you are already aware of? Others that may be hidden? Pay attention to how you feel and think and become more aware of what is beneath those emotions and thoughts.
Grace and Peace,
Deb
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Wednesday, December 2, 2009
still waiting
I have talked with some individuals about their mission trip to Guatemala. They were there to work in a medical clinic in a village. They told me that there was a very long line of people waiting to be seen by the American doctors. They waited and they waited and they waited. Many of them were not even seen that day and came back the next day to wait again. Whenever one of the team members would walk by the line, the villagers would smile at them. There was no grumbling, no frustration…just patient waiting.
It’s hard for me to imagine what that kind of ‘still’ waiting is like. I become impatient waiting for a red light to change or waiting in line at the grocery store. And we all know what it is like to wait in lines at the department stores as we shop for Christmas.
We view waiting as an inconvenience at best and at worse, as a painful lack of results. We look and look for a way out of the waiting. We want whatever is coming, to arrive.
I think God wants us to wait like the Guatemalans. Quietly, expectantly, still. Knowing that He has something meaningful for us at the end of the waiting.
“Still” waiting….meaning not only do we remain 'waiting'...we are doing it contently.
May you find peace in the waiting. May you be still and may you look for God in the midst of the not yet.
Grace and peace,
Deb
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Tuesday, December 1, 2009
waiting
As a teenager I went to a Lutheran church. I remember terms like Advent and Lent but I didn’t pay much attention. Over the last few years, I’ve had a renewed interest in the church calendar. I would like you to celebrate the Advent season with me. We will be spending some time over the next four weeks looking more closely at this part of the church year.
As I understand “Advent” I’ve come to see that part of its meaning is “waiting with expectancy”. Now my background is not theology so for those of you who are more knowledgeable, please offer me some grace as I draw some of my own parallels.
Mary was a young girl. She was engaged to be married. Can you even imagine an angel showing up in your bedroom and telling you that you had been chosen to bear the Christ? Not only do you risk the neighbor’s whispers as they speculate behind your back about the circumstances that lead to you finding yourself in the ‘family way’…you risk death…by stoning. You risk your future husband believing that you had slept with someone else. Not only are you thinking you’ll need to convince him that you were not unfaithful but that an angel came to you to tell you God wanted to you to carry His son. It is no ordinary baby you carry. You carry the Son of God. Yeah right. Nowadays, that would be the right formula for a trip to the hospital and some powerful meds to help you with your delusional thoughts. Don’t believe me? Try telling someone you saw an angel and that he said you were pregnant by the Holy Spirit. I’ll come and see you on visiting day.
It’s easy for us to think that this was an ordinary experience back in Biblical times. But…it was just as extraordinary then as it would be now. She was a young girl…just a girl. And yet her response to the angel was remarkable. Scripture says she was confused and fearful. But, after the angel completed his explanation, she said, “I'm the Lord's maid, ready to serve. Let it be with me just as you say”.
She began “waiting with expectancy”. That is what Advent is for us as well. Waiting with expectancy. As we look forward to Christmas and the significance of God come to earth, what are you expecting? What are you looking for?
May you spend some time in the next day or so reflecting on what it is that you are expecting in your relationship with the Holy One? What are wanting? Waiting for?
May your waiting be filled with expectancy. God wants to meet with you in a different way…a more intimate way. Be looking. Be waiting…with expectancy.
Grace and peace,
Deb
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