Last year I was reading a book by Donald Miller. It’s called Blue Like Jazz. This book spoke to me in a powerful way. I want to share with you what God showed me but I am changing the names in this story so don’t even go and try to figure out who is who. :)
My friend, Marge, asked my opinion about a moral issue. She had asked a few other friends as well. One of the friends, Laura, didn’t like the choice she was going to make and told Marge, if she made that choice, she wouldn’t be spending time with her. I think she did this to re-enforce her stand on this issue and on what she believed to be God’s standards on this issue. When Marge asked my opinion I gave it to her. I felt the choice was not a good one for her…not a choice that would take her deeper into her relationship with God but farther away from him. Honesty, I also thought about putting some distance between Marge and myself if she made this choice.
The same time all of this was happening, I was reading Blue Like Jazz. One of the chapters is on love. He talked about how we, as Christians, sometimes use our love as a weapon. We give it or withhold it to get others to do what we think they should. As I read that chapter, I felt convicted, deep in my heart. The author was talking about me. I had used love like that. I had considered using it like that in this situation.
That night – the night I read that portion of the book, I felt God say to me, “Deb….it’s my job to convict. She asked for your opinion and you gave it to her. Don’t punish her by withholding love. Speak lovingly to her about what she is considering and let her know that you will love her no matter what she chooses. That is how I love you. I don’t always like your choices, because I know they are not best for you. Even when you made really bad choices, I still loved you. Please ~ just love her.”
I did. I just loved her. She made a good choice but the lesson wasn’t for her, it was for me. I want to learn to love better……to love more like Jesus.
Love,
Deb
Friday, May 18, 2007
love
Posted by deb at 6:12 AM
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2 comments:
this post really hits home for me as i struggle with loving certain individuals in my life. i have learned (through clenched fists) that i cannot judge. i can lovingly and honestly advise but the final decision is up to the individual and they will have to reconcile that with God themselves. this is hard! but so rewarding when i realize i am off the hook. i am only called to love not control their behavior. thank you for the affirmation, deb.
sid,
you took the words right out of mouth. I wonder why I thought, for so, long that I was responsible for their behavior or that I could change it by withholding my love for them? When a truth like this hits me, it hits me hard and I hope I live into this every day.
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