“Is there anyone I can level with? Anyone I dare tell that I am benevolent and malevolent, chaste and randy, compassionate and vindictive, selfless and selfish, that beneath my brave words lives a frightened child, that I dabble in religion and pornography, that I have blackened a friend’s character, betrayed a trust, violated a confidence, that I am tolerant and thoughtful, a bigot and a blowhard, that I hate hard rock?”
Brennen Manning
Ruthless Trust
I think this quote hits home for all of us. I know it does for me. I was reminded of the duality that we struggle with as I had lunch with a friend yesterday. (I know…thoughts resulting from another conversation. Soon, no one will talk to me! So often this is the way God speaks to me, so I think you may see this a lot.) We were talking about how, sometimes, we can hardly believe that God doesn’t just smite us (don’t hear that word everyday, now do ya!), that we both have thoughts, attitudes and behaviors that we know aren’t what God would want of us. But, the amazing thing is that He waits…He waits for us to come around, to acknowledge those things within ourselves, turn back to Him and allow His love to enfold us, once again. He knows that we live and move in a fallen, broken world and that no matter how much we try, we will never be fully whole until we see Him face to face. That means we will never be free of the struggle that Brennan Manning describes but it also means that there is hope and forgiveness found in God’s love.
May today be a fresh start for you. Know that we all struggle with the ‘dark’ stuff in our hearts but also know that God is waiting for you, desiring you to move back toward Him. Allow yourself to experience His love today.
Deb
3 comments:
Deb,
Ths applies to my life so very much...more than you know. Thank you for posting it...I have so much to think about and figure out!
Love you,
Kristen
KWilliams417@aol.com
wow - does this post ever hit home. i am constantly ducking the dark side of myself. i don't want to admit even to myself that it exists and foolishly i think i can hide - from myself, from others and from God. ha. pretty funny - huh? or maybe sad. i know i hold back from God because of sin in my life. it goes back to that finding it hard to believe He loves me. i am so encouraged by these posts because it reminds me that he indeed loves me and i can go to him as i am. i just wish it wasn't so hard. why is that??
Awesome post… Thank you for sharing that BEAUTIFUL quote from Manning. It reminded me of one of our counseling sessions a little more than a year ago when we discussed this very topic and the fact that I knew this truth in my head but hadn't let it fully settle into my heart. Glad to know that I'm not the only one who sometimes struggles with the concept that the VERY GOD OF THE UNIVERSE could love ME?! HOW INCREDIBLE.
Post a Comment