trust

“Let go…just let go.”

Crazy J

Last week, I did something I have never done before. I did a canopy tour through the rainforest. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it is a zip line course.

I don’t consider myself a thrill seeker. I love land. I hate heights. But last year, we had signed up for a zip line course and I got a really bad case of sunburn and couldn’t go. So…all year, I had waited for the chance to do it. Well, my chance came a week ago Monday. I was so excited! And, I wasn’t at all nervous. At least not until they clipped the pulley to the cable the first time. I began to think, “What in the heck have I gotten myself into?” My heart began to pound and my palms began to sweat. I was scared.

The first line went over a river. I did not want to step off that platform but I did. I kept my eyes closed the whole time, right up until it was time to reach the other platform. When I did reach the platform, the guide told me to stand on my tiptoes so he could unhook my pulley. But, my knees were shaking so hard, I had trouble standing up.

As the course went on, I got more and more fearful. I found myself standing on platforms high in the trees, afraid to look down. I was, as I put it, sucking bark as I clung to the tree, waiting my turn to go. I was not enjoying myself at all. I had a mental conversation with myself, saying “I can’t do this.” But, there was no other way out of it so I had to go on. My hands were shaking so hard and I felt as if my heart would pound right out of my chest.

The last line was the longest. The only thing good about it was that it would soon be all over…or so I thought. As I looked at the people going ahead of me, I didn’t know how I was going to will myself to step off the platform. When it was my turn, the guide said “Are you ready?” I knew if I waited until I was ready, I’d die of old age, or starvation, up on that platform. I said, “No, I’m not ready but I don’t have a choice, do I?” I stepped off into thin air and down the line I went. I didn’t close my eyes but I didn’t look down. I remember saying, “Jesus, help me, Jesus help me.”

As I approached the last platform, I thought, “It is almost over”. But…not so fast. I stopped about 15 feet short of the platform. That meant fifteen short of having a place to put my feet, fifteen feet short of the guide, fifteen feet short of family, fifteen feet short of feeling like I might actually survive this insanity. The guide said, ‘Turn around. With my stomach doing flip flops, I slowly turned myself away from the platform. I cannot even begin to describe what dangling in midair felt like. He instructed me to reach up to the cable and grab it. Then I was to pull myself backward by grabbing the cable hand over hand. Slowly, I pulled myself to the platform. Then I heard the guide say “Let go…just let go.” I heard him, but I looked down and there was no platform beneath my feet. I stretched and tried to feel it but it wasn’t there. My feet dangled in the air and if I fell, it would be all over. I wouldn’t let go. I said “NO! I can’t find the platform!” Again, he asked me to let go and again I refused. Then, to make myself feel more secure, I turned toward him, without letting go of the cable and hooked my leg around one of his (talk about getting personal!). I was determined that if I fell, I wouldn’t die alone…. I was taking someone with me.

What he knew and I didn’t was that unless I let go of the cable, he couldn’t pull me the rest of the way in. I was the one keeping me out there, hanging in the air. Once I listened to him, trusted him and let go, he was able to pull me to the platform.

Once my heart beat slowed down and I had some time to regain my senses, I realized how this was a perfect example of my life with God. I hear God say, “Deb, let go…just let go.” But I look down and I don’t see the ground…I see thin air. I know he will catch me but I think I need to do it myself…or at least help him.

Is there a place in your life right now where God is asking you to let go? Where He is asking you to trust Him despite what you can see? Trust Him . . . and let go . . .just let go.

“When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly”

Patrick Overton

Grace and peace,
Deb