listening

“……there are four kinds of listening:

Listening but not hearing.

Listening and connecting with one’s own agenda.

Listening and hearing without a personal agenda.

Intuitive listening, meaning not only hearing what was being spoken but what is not being said. Deep listening.”

Anne LeClaire
Listening Below the Noise

Who knew listening could be so complicated? Isn’t it just a matter of hearing what the other person says? Apparently not. Let’s see if I can connect this with my own personal examples.

Listening but not hearing. I think this is the kind of listening I do on a Sunday when I am watching football. Yes, ladies (and guys, if there are any of you reading) – in my house, my husband is the football widower. I have the remote and the big screen. Meals are planned around game time – bathroom breaks and drink breaks around halftime. I am serious. If I am not home for a game I want to see I record it. No joke. So, if Jeff asks me a question during a game, I listen but I don’t hear him. You know – polite enough not be rude (unless the Steelers are playing)but yet not tuned in enough to give a real answer. And ‘uh huh’ or a ‘nah’ – you know – monosyllabic. Keep it quick and simple.

Listening and connecting with one’s own agenda. This might be the listening I am capable of 10 minutes before the game starts. The thought is that if I seem attentive now and we get this conversation out of the way, I will be able to watch the game without interruption. Or – if it can wait until halftime, I can actually face him and use my big people words rather than grunts. But make sure the conversation can be concluded in 10 minutes.

Listening and hearing without a personal agenda. This one is the hard one. It is so hard to get my agenda out of the way! I think this is easier with acquaintances in a passing conversation. Believe it or not, I am capable of doing it at home (when it is not football season) and usually find it very satisfying.

Intuitive listening, meaning not only hearing what was being spoken but what is not being said. Deep listening. This requires something else altogether. For me, it requires the help of the Holy Spirit. It is a time when I am very intentional about getting myself and my agenda out of the way and giving my full attention to the person who is speaking and to the leading of the Spirit. It’s a time when I tend to be silent more than speak. It is a time when I ask questions rather than give advice. It is a time when I am dependent on God and am trusting Him to provide the insight – both to me and to the person I am listening to.

I want to cultivate more intuitive listening in my life, not only when I am with directees but when I am with friends, family, co-workers, etc. I want to provide a space where people feel heard and seen. When I am able to do that it is even better than football. :)


Grace and peace –
Deb

Photo by Little Miss Soda Can http://www.flickr.com/photos/12gagirl/5344317623/

authenticity

“When I could finally get past what everyone might be thinking about me, I realized that ultimately I could only live my own life, and I just wanted to live in humility, in honestly and be true to myself.”

Helen

I’m not sure if this is true for you but it is easy for me to get caught up in the expectations of others. I am, by nature, a people-pleaser and being first-born, I have a tendency towards perfectionism. Although both of these traits can make you look good – either with family and friends, in the workplace or in school – it is an illusion.

The ‘people-pleasing’ only works as long as you please ‘the people’ - whoever that may be. Once you fall short of that mark, no matter what the reason, you’ve failed. It doesn’t matter if you have really failed, or if they perceived that you have failed, because in your eyes, you’re a failure.

And perfectionism? What the heck is that? It is such a set-up because it is unattainable. There was only One who was perfect and that is certainly not me.
For me, both of these are substitutes for believing in and living out of God’s love for me – just as I am. Both put me in a position of ‘doing enough’ to prove I am worthy. But my worthiness should not be found in what I do or who I please. It should be found in God. If I never accomplish another thing in my life, if I never please another person, God’s love for me remains constant.
God is gently teaching me these lessons. He is lessening my grip on the need to even try to be perfect and He is giving me glimpses of how people-pleasing is an idol that needs to released to Him.

Am I living my own life? Yes. With humility? I try. Am I being true to myself? Not when I am people-pleasing and chasing after perfection, but I am moving closer every day, with Gods’ help.

How about you? Are you a people-pleaser? Do you feel the need to be perfect? If so, what do you think God wants to say to you about that? Spend some time today listening.

Grace and peace –
Deb

being present

"This is the first, wildest and wisest thing I know, that the soul exists and that is is built entirely out of attentiveness."

Mary Oliver

When we are not attentive, we miss life. We live in the past or we live in the future but we miss the now. And now is what we have. Now is when God is active and working...now is when we get the chance to participate with Him. Obviously we can see where He was in hindsight but what a beautiful thing it is to see He in the now.

But to do that we need to pay attention to what He might be saying, how He might be working and then make the choice to live into that.

My prayer for you today is that you will be aware and watching so you don't miss the presence of God, in this moment.

Grace and peace,
Deb

integrity

"If you are here unfaithfully with us,
You're causing great damage."

Rumi

When we are with others unauthentically, we hurt them and we hurt ourselves. To bring all of who we are to God and to our community is to be in integrity.

Consider those places where you come with less than who you truly are. Ask yourself why you would do that and reflect on what God might want to say to you.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Hawken King http://www.flickr.com/photos/hawken/239234587/

blind faith

"MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone."

Thomas Merton

I invite you to take some time today to reflect on this quote.

Grace and peace,
Deb

photo by Bruce Berrien
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bruceberrien/4445304728/

darkness to light

“Mother Teresa once said “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted are the greatest poverty”. To this I will add: Please believe that one single positive dream is more important than a thousand negative realties.”


Adeline Yen Mah

Recently, I have had interactions with four women, all of whom I know had difficult childhoods. As I sat with them, I was struck by the reality of their lives today. If anyone of them had lived into what their families had wanted them to believe about themselves, they would be living a very different life. But…something happened to them. God. He moved into their heart and began the slow process of changing how they saw themselves. He began by giving them glimpses of how He sees them. Now, they are all living beautiful, strong, affirming lives.

And, do you know the most incredible part of it? He uses other people to reflect His love…. to be Jesus with skin on. Through others…through their eyes, through their actions, through their acceptance, through their reaching out, healing begins.

It is in the context of relationship that people change. It is not always easy but it is worth the effort. Then, as we heal, we begin to give away what was given to us.

If you are the wounded one, allow others to come near and care for you. If you have been restored to life through God’s healing touch and the love of others, give what you’ve received.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Malu Green http://www.flickr.com/photos/malugreen/3343242073/

margins

I am tired. Just being honest, folks. Somehow I have allowed the margins around my life to become thinner and thinner. That means I wake up and realize I am not living what I preach. I didn’t sleep well last night and did not get up as early as I would have liked this morning. So…no intentional time with God. Doesn’t mean I didn’t sense His presence today…I did in so many ways. But I want time…no…I need time to sit down and reflect on the ways I saw Him work and move, how I heard His voice.

This isn’t being legalistic about how much time I must set aside to be with Him….or what I need to do during that time. It’s more about how I feel inside when I don’t have time with Him.I just want to be real about living what I talk about.

Hope you are carving out margins to protect your inner life. We all stray and get back on the ‘crazy hamster wheel’ of life….but, when you do, notice it and begin, as you can, to re-establish those margins. Tomorrow – yeah, I’m gonna have some margins tomorrow.

Grace and peace,
Deb

photo by Jody K http://www.flickr.com/photos/jodilynn/2876601526/

vulnerability

“Daring to accept myself and receive love as I am in my nakedness and vulnerability is the indispensable precondition for genuine transformation. But make no mistake about just how difficult this is. Everything within me wants to show my best ‘pretend self’ to both other people and to God. This is my false self – the self of my own making. This self can never be transformed, because it is never willing to receive love in vulnerability. When this pretend self receives love, it simply becomes stronger and I am even more deeply in bondage to my false ways of living.”

David Benner


Transformation. This is what I desire. But in order to surrender to transformation, I need to be vulnerable…to God and to others. Vulnerability has a cost. Vulnerability means letting your walls down and every time you do that you risk getting hurt.

Whenever I pretend to be someone I am not, when I feel the need to defend, to prove, to over-explain, to compete, I am not resting in God. I am taking over the reins again and trying to steer things the way I want them to go.

So – will I rest in God, be vulnerable and let my true self show through – or will I resist, argue, pretend and put myself in deeper bondage to the false self?

Each day allows me to make that choice. Today I choose vulnerability. How about you?

Grace and peace –
Deb

Photo by Andreason http://www.flickr.com/photos/andreason/5816078146/

risk

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
C. S. Lewis

I have friends who are afraid to love. They have been hurt and want to avoid being hurt again at all costs. They think that it is safest to not love at all. They keep others at arm’s length.

I understand the fear. But what they don’t see is that to choose to keep your heart closed off to hurt means you keep your heart closed off to joy. Our hearts are not capable of only letting in good things. When we decide to keep out hurt we keep out joy.

Loving others involves risk. It always has and it always will. Humans aren’t perfect. There are those that will hurt us every chance they get and we need to able to identify who they are and set up appropriate boundaries. But, there are others (and I think there are far more of these!) who will love us well, even if imperfectly. All of us love imperfectly. I do, you do…all of us do. If people never took a chance on me because of what others had done to them, I’d have no one in my life.

Be willing to risk. God created us to live in community and not as loners. Risk….risk being yourself with others, risk letting others in, risk being real….risk being hurt. Know that whatever comes your way, God is able to walk you through it.

Grace and peace,
Deb

photo by Marceluz (Lucía Rojas) http://www.flickr.com/photos/marceluz/4055361875/

wisdom

As the years go by, I am noticing something. I do not look like I used to! Surprise, surprise. It can be difficult to see the changes that time brings. Anne Lamott, in one of her books, has a chapter called “The Aunties”. She is referring to her derriere. The Aunties are not what they used to be. She talks about not wanting to go out in a bathing suit because she is self conscious about The Aunties. She is constantly comparing herself to other women..younger women. Then she realizes that what she does possess is the wisdom that only age brings. It is a beauty that cannot be matched by a young, fit body. And she forms a new appreciation and respect for The Aunties.

I am beginning to appreciate that. I am starting to love my wisdom; a wisdom that comes from God. I like to call it 'saging'. I am learning to appreciate the beauty that comes with age…maybe not a physical beauty but the beauty of knowing God in an intimate way and living out of that place.

I am constantly trying to re-align my values with His…like knowing that how I look is not as important as who I am. Or that what the world values is not what God values. Some days I do better than others but I think the days of seeing it from God’s point of view are getting more numerous.

Today, may you value who God made you to be. May you value being known more for who you are than being beautiful. And may you thank Him for the wisdom that He has given you. Enjoy today and honor The Aunties...no matter what your age. :0)

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by arturoverfoto
http://www.flickr.com/photos/56082562@N00/330473859/

deep well

“Everything about our modern lives fights against taking time to satisfy the needs and longings of the soul. Yet if there is one place I am allowed to be selfish, it’s in the care of my soul. Out of such selfishness, I become more selfless in caring for the needs of those in my sphere of influence.”

Stephen Macchia

Many would say that the practice of silence and solitude is selfish…even ‘navel gazing’. It’s true that I am protective of my time in the morning. I want to be alone…I want to be alone with God. I love that time. But…I know that when I spend that time, I am much more available for others throughout the day. Not only to the people I love but to those I come in contact with. I see those interactions as being orchestrated by God. I can give out of a deep, full well, rather than trying to give out of a well that is dry because I haven’t taken the time to pay attention to my own relationship with God.

To be sure…the introspective life is one of investing time in yourself. But if I do it to only enrich myself, I am missing the point. One reason God gives His love and presence to me so that I can give it to others.

May you take the time to invest in your relationship with God. May you spend time just sitting in His presence. May you take the riches He shares with you during that time and carry them into your day, sharing them with those He brings into your path…and go to bed tonight knowing that you gave deeply from the well of God’s love.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Happyhiker4 http://www.flickr.com/photos/marklindsay/6313309409/

waiting

The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach - waiting for a gift from the sea.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Waiting is hard…so hard. If I know what is next, what it looks like, how to prepare, I feel as if I have some control. But to just wait?

Waiting can be a sign of trust. Like the beach, being empty, open and choiceless can allow whatever God wants to come to me, to come. It isn’t that I don’t care about what is next – it's that I am allowing God to choose the direction and the timing.

Are you waiting for something? What might it look like to wait – being empty, open and choiceless? Yielding all? I invite you to try.

Grace and peace,
Deb

sabbath

“At least one day in every seven, pull off the road and park the car in the garage. Close the door to the tool shed and turn off the computer. Stay home not because you are sick but because you are well. Talk someone you love into being well with you. Take a nap, a walk, an hour for lunch. Test the premise that you are worth more than what you produce – that even if you spent one whole day being good for nothing you would still be precious in God’s sight- and when you get anxious because you are convinced this is not so, remember that your own conviction is not required. This is a commandment. Your worth has already been established, even when you are not working. The purpose of the commandment is to woo you to the same truth.”

Barbara Brown Taylor
An Altar in the World

Why is it that I find it so easy to disregard this commandment? I would not consider stealing, murdering or adultery. I try really hard not to covet. But, I don’t even attempt practicing the Sabbath, at least not in the way that I think God intended it. If one of the purposes of Sabbath is to convince me that the world will keep turning if I stop, I haven’t stopped long enough to find out. If the purpose is to have a day filled with rest and play – that is what I call ‘vacation’. If the purpose is to focus more on being than doing, a full day seems indulgent. If the purpose is to refrain from consumerism one day a week, I’ve missed the mark.

Sabbath isn’t to be a dull, dreary day. It is meant to be a gift - a day to rest, to renew, to refresh, to play, to relax, to notice, to stop. Why would I say no to that?

Barbara Brown Taylor remarks that if we paid attention to the verses – no – the commandment that speaks to Sabbath (Lev 25) the same way we pay attention to the verses that speak to sexual practices (Lev 18) we might discover that God is just as interested in economics as He is in sex.

I find myself asking some hard questions….why is it so easy for me to disregard Sabbath? It certainly is counter-cultural, but so are many of the other things I believe and practice.

In reality, it is a beautiful gift God has offered to me…. and to you. What would it look like to begin opening that gift? I will be reflecting on this more intentionally as I continue in this Christmas season. I invite you to do the same.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Viperium http://www.flickr.com/photos/viperium/247333791/

prayer

“Trust and faith should frame our whole prayer experience. This is what allows us to let go of control and allow God to shape prayer and our encounter. Prayer involves surrender to a mysterious inner process, submitting to something God does in us. If we trust enough to let go, God will give us a gift of prayer communion that we could never create or even imagine.”

David Benner

Even in prayer, it is to my benefit to ‘let go’. As long as I insist on using prayer as a vehicle to get my way, I am misusing one of God’s most beautiful gifts. Being able to pour my heart out to Him while holding on lightly to any outcomes – or even more- having my prayer be a place of expressing to God that I want what He wants more than what I want allows me to trust that He knows best.
What might you be holding onto tightly today? What would it look like to release it into God’s hands? Could you express that to Him in a prayer of surrender? Give it a try….

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Kevin Henderson - http://kevlhenrit.zenfolio.com/p197120307

silence

“When we make a place for silence, we make room for ourselves….By making room for silence, we resist the forces of the world which tell us to live an advertised life of surface appearances, instead of a discovered life – a life lived in contact with our senses, our feelings, our deepest thoughts and values.”

Gunilla Norris

Photo by Kevin Henderson -
“When we make a place for silence, we make room for ourselves….By making room for silence, we resist the forces of the world which tell us to live an advertised life of surface appearances, instead of a discovered life – a life lived in contact with our senses, our feelings, our deepest thoughts and values.”

Gunilla Norris

Photo by Kevin Henderson - http://kevlhenrit.zenfolio.com/p197120307

meditation

“Through meditating we explore in order to know more and more of Abba. Before we find this reality, we only BELIEVE; through experiencing a relationship, we come to KNOW.”

Morton Kelsey

To know someone, I need to spend time with them. I need to talk to them and I need to listen. The more I know them, the less I need to depend on words. I have a couple of people in my life who can just look at me and know what I am feeling. There is no need to explain myself in great detail. I am known by them.

It is that way with God. In the beginning of my relationship with him I talked…a lot. Now I talk less and listen more. There is more of a comfort level there…more of a ‘knowing’. I am learning to rest in the fact that He loves me.

Consider meditating, that is reflecting on, or pondering who He is. Meditate on His love and His presence.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Austinevan Found at http://www.flickr.com/photos/austinevan/3304246079/

prayer

There are times when we feel, quite simply, far too small
to contain everything we are feeling.

Maybe a moment of awesome beauty overwhelms us,
or a piece of music brings tears to our eyes.

We hold a newborn child in our arms
and are lost for words.
We gaze, helplessly, as a loved one takes a final breath.

Or maybe we are speechless with rage,
impotent in the face of some gross injustice,
or some intolerable pain.

Prayer can catch us in its arms at times like these,
often in shared rituals or rites of passage,
but also in the unspoken, and unspeakable,
aching and yearning of our hearts.

We pray when our hearts are overflowing.

Margaret Silf
The Gift of Prayer

Photo by Ashley Gillett Photography

wisps

“For sometimes the voice of God thunders into our lives, but more often than not, it wisps by us like a gentle breeze with a fragrant reminder of faraway fields”.

Brennan Manning

I love springtime. I know it is hard to talk about or think about spring right now as we stand on the edge of winter. But, let’s try.

I remember being a little girl standing in my front yard on Easter Sunday. As a child, we didn’t go to church accept on the major holidays, so I am decked out in my Easter dress (with hat!). I cannot remember going to church that day but I can remember the smells. I remember that damp, early morning smell. Do you know what I am talking about? It’s that rich smell of earth and dew. It is mixed with the smell of newly mowed grass…a smell that’s fresh and clean and sticks to the bottom of your shoes. It lingers when you get in the car. Those smells take me right back to that morning. It’s a lovely memory.

What if God moves in our lives like that? Like a gentle wisp of fragrance? But to notice it I need to pay attention. I have to be aware. I have to gather in the subtle evidence with all my senses.

Be attentive…allow the fragrance of His love to permeate your life. Then, when you face the edge of winter in your spiritual life, you will be able to recall its sweet scent and know that spring is just around the corner.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Wili-Hybrid http://www.flickr.com/photos/wili/614590890/

hope

We see the signs
but cannot always
divine their meanings.

You call us to move forward
not always knowing
whether what we grasp
in our hands
will prove to be
a seed of hope
or a thorn in our flesh.

Train our fingers,
that what brings life
we may with persistence hold,
and that which wastes
our souls
we may with grace release.

Jan Richardson
Night Visions

Photo by Mayr at http://www.flickr.com/photos/mayr/2264724288/

listen

listen
Life is chaotic.
It’s loud and constantly moving.
No time alone.
No space.
No intentionality.
Just moving from thing to thing….task to task.
Keep moving.
Don’t stop.
It may pass you by.
The world may fall off its axis.

What? Be still?
Learn to listen?
Why?
God’s voice?
Afraid of what I might hear…
condemnation,
fear,
shame,
rejection….
But…what if…
He wants to speak something different into my life….
like love,
acceptance
forgiveness
peace,
joy,
value.
That is what He is offering.

I only need to listen….
Listen and accept.
Be still,
listen
and
hear.


deb

Photo by Art from (Me)lia http://www.flickr.com/photos/artfromm/3813798951/

plans

Speaking of Mary right after finding out she was carrying the Christ-child:

“The events themselves will be her guide and teacher. She does not need to figure it out and plan accordingly, the plan will be given by God through life’s encounters. Reality is her teacher. That is why she could hear angels. And that is why she could hear Elizabeth.”

Richard Rohr, Radical Grace

I have been told that I am not strong in the area of strategic planning. This is not news to me. Begin to talk about strategy and direct outcomes and I glaze over. I use to think that it was because I was not gifted in that area and that may still be the truth. But I am coming to understand that it may be something more. Perhaps dependence on God.

My desire is not to run ahead, not to figure out what the next step is but to wait and see what step God uncovers. How does He want me to proceed? Does He want me to go left or right? Take the fork in the road or stay straight?

This passage from Richard Rohr describes beautifully how I try to listen and discern God’s leading. It does not mean that I don’t prepare – it just means that I don’t have a pre-determined outcome in mind. Remaining open to surprises helps me remain open to possibilities I might otherwise miss.

Where, in your life, might God be inviting you to allow life events be your guide? How are life’s encounters speaking to you? Pay attention and may you also hear angels.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Ambigel http://www.flickr.com/photos/ambigel/324912564/

struggle

Move over the face of
my deep,
my darkness,
my endless restless chaos,
and create,
O God;
trouble me,
comfort me,
stir me up
and calm me,
but do not cease
to breathe
your Spirit into
my wakening soul.


Jan Richardson

No matter how I feel, no matter what I am going through, He is there and can redeem it.
What are you struggling with today? What is troubling your spirit? What has you losing sleep? What has your stomach in knots?
Notice it and offer it up to Him….let it rest there.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by CoffeeNut http://www.flickr.com/photos/nmc1007/5513339430/

love letter

I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.

Mother Teresa




What an incredible thought…that I am part of a love letter that God is sending to the world. That my life speaks of who He is and how He loves me. It also is a big responsibility. I think of those times when I am less than gracious with a store clerk…or the person who cuts me off in traffic…or the people in the grocery store who block the aisle with their cart while they are having a conversation with someone else.

I want to always be aware of the fact that my life is being observed. There are people who are watching to see if Jesus has really made a difference in my life or if I only know the right words to say. I definitely want my life to be part of that love letter to the world.

I invite you to think about how your life, uniquely, speaks of His love for those around you. Take some time to reflect on that beautiful truth.

Grace and peace,
Deb

photo by Stephanie: http://www.flickr.com/photos/stephanie_in_love/4254709763/in/photostream/

know thyself

“You try being alone without any form of distraction and see how quickly you want to get way from yourself and forget what you are.”

J. Krishnamurti

There is a sweet little cottage I use sometimes to get away for a couple of days. When I go there, I take the first hour or so to unpack and set up – put my food away, get my books and journal out and organize my things. I take some time to settle in. I sit, I write, I read, I pray. Then I eat. Yes, I said I eat. I don’t eat big meals but I seem to snack...a lot. Then I sleep. Not only do I sleep at night but I nap – something I never do at home. What is that about? I think it may be partly due to exhaustion. But I also think it has to do with not wanting to be with myself.

Don’t get me wrong. I kinda like me. I have grown on myself over the years. But I am not use to my own company...only my company, for long periods of time. It is rare that I am all alone without any distractions. Several years ago, being all alone for a weekend would have been inconceivable. Being alone without TV would have been akin to torture. But, I have been practicing being with myself. It sounds so much more spiritual to say I go away to be with God – and I do. But I also am with myself and that has been a practice that has been at times uncomfortable and at other times, beautiful. I am still getting used to me.

When is the last time you were alone for more than a day without any distractions? How much do you like to be with you? Are you good company for yourself? Or do you want to just leave yourself behind for better company? Consider spending some time with yourself in the near future. Invite God to come along as you get to know yourself. Granted there will be parts of yourself you won’t enjoy seeing but God will show you other parts – the parts that reflect Him and you will be glad you decided to spend time with the person that is….. you.

Grace and peace,
Deb

evening prayer

Let me fall asleep
as who I am,
and awake
one small uncluttered step
closer to you,
one small step closer
to the person I want to be ~
it will be enough.

John Kirvan

Photo by John Underwood http://www.flickr.com/photos/jonpartech9610/6075749919/

lost

“They needed 40 years in the wilderness to learn the ‘holy art of being lost’.”

Barbara Brown Taylor

Obviously she is talking about the Israelites. 40 years. Slow learners? It might be easy for us to say yes to that question but really – aren’t we all slow learners when it comes to the ‘holy art of being lost’? This is not the lost that we think about when someone doesn’t know God. It is more the lost that says we still need to be led, we need to be guided.

It is a subtle thing that happens as we are longer in our faith. We think we know. Know what? Know the right answers. Know what God is doing. Know exactly what the scripture means. Know who is in and who is out. Know just what the right thing is to say to make sure you are ‘in’. Know how God would feel about certain things. Know that our way is the only right way.

We lose our innocent and childlike wonder about who God is. We lose the awe of discovery. We lose site of the fact that God is God and we are not. We lose the ability to embrace mystery. We lose the chance to be teachable – because we think we already know.

Will you risk allowing yourself to experience the holy art of being lost? Of being open and moldable? Of being teachable and responsive to whatever God may have for you?

Take a risk – get lost today.
Grace and peace –
Deb

grace

“Some of us carry the early memory of our own wrongdoing long after God and others have forgiven us. Not realizing it, we hold onto regrets. We forget that time and grace wash clean.”

Emilie Griffin
Small Surrenders

When I spend time with women, it seems we are all too aware of our failings. It is helpful to take some time to recognize how damaging it can be when we refuse to accept the forgiveness of God. We are bound by chains of shame and regret. Those chains inhibit us from giving all we have and all we are to God. Our focus is more about our shortcomings than God’s ability to redeem them.

What chains are binding you today? What wrongdoing have you held onto? Consider taking it to God and leaving it there. Let grace wash it clean.

grace and peace,
~ Deb

mid-day prayer

God, by whom we are guided in judgment,
and who raises up for us light in the darkness.
Grant us, in our doubts and uncertainties,
the grace to ask what you would have us to do,
that your spirit of wisdom may save us
from all false choices and
in your straight path we may not stumble.
Through Jesus Christ our Lord,
~ Amen

The Collect for Grace

celtic prayer

I arise today
embraced in the arms
of God the Father,
empowered by the strength
of God the Spirit,
immersed in the love
of God the Son.
I arise today
in the company
of the Trinity.
Father, Spirit and Son,
I arise today.

~ John Birch

surrender

“All you know is that you are being led, being guided, being loved, being used, being prayed through – and you are no longer in the driver’s seat.”

Richard Rohr, The Naked Now

This is surrender. We don’t work our way into this place. We offer ourselves to it. We can put practices into place that remind us to surrender, remind us to open ourselves completely to God. Only in vulnerability and abandon can we create space for the Spirit to move and to transform us.

What does surrender look like to you? Consider making this quote into a prayer –

God –
I desire to be led, I want to be guided, I yearn to be loved, I chose to be used and I long to be prayed through. Continue to teach me how to get myself out of the way and stand amazed at Your work in and through me.

Photo by Helje http://www.flickr.com/photos/helje/4411190782/

walls

“…..Falling in love is as ordinary and normal as our breathing. But it is also always special. It is special because it wakes us up. It thrills us and hurts us and makes us conscious of being alive. It lets us know that no matter how dull and distracted our minds may have been, our hearts are wide awake.”
“…It happens as we wish yet always remains beyond our control. We know that love is beyond our control because it keeps hurting us. We would like to experience the joy and energy of love without being vulnerable to its pain, but there is no way to do that. To love is to care, to care is to give ourselves, and giving ourselves means being willing to be hurt.”
Gerald May, The Awakened Heart
Life is about living and feeling. It is about being able to take it all in. If we are afraid of being hurt, we will build a wall around our heart to protect it. But – if we are not willing to risk hurt, we cannot receive love.
Where, in your life, have you built walls to protect yourself? What has the cost been? Consider offering those places, where you have been hurt in the past, up to God so that you may begin letting love in. It is worth the risk.

Grace and peace ~
Deb

Photo by -spoon- http://www.flickr.com/photos/lchifi/231115148/

trust

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything
to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something
unknown, something new.

And yet it is the law of all progress
that is made by passing through
some stages of instability –
and that may take a very long time.
And so I think it is with you;
your ideas mature gradually – let them grow,
let them shape themselves without undue haste.
Don’t try to force them on,
as though you could be today what time
(that is to say, grace and circumstances
acting on your own good will)
will make of you tomorrow.
Only God can say what this new spirit
gradually forming within you will be.
Give our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you
And accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.
PierreTeilhard De Chardin

I so believe in the slow work of God. Both in my own life and in the lives of those I see for spiritual direction, God seems to work in a slow, meandering way. That isn’t to say it is not purposeful. He knows where He is leading you…where He is leading me. But that path is often obscured, veiled if you will.
Can you trust the ‘unknown’? Can you accept ‘the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete’? Can you trust in the slow work of God? What would look different in your life if you could relax into His movement in your life, no matter what the pace?
Grace and peace-
Deb

Photo by cuba gallery http://www.flickr.com/photos/cubagallery/5949819558/

nature

"God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars".
Martin Luther

Nature is revelation that speaks to us everyday of God and His love of beauty. It surrounds us. From the moment the sun rises in the morning and its brilliance drowns out the stars, His creativity is on display. Trees, animals, mountains, rivers, rocks, oceans, canyons, vistas, flowers, beaches, deserts, forests, plains, gorges, fish, birds, sun, moon and stars. Everyday there is an endless array of gifts for us to view, that reflect God.

Look for Him today in the created order.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by -yury- http://www.flickr.com/photos/yury-prokopenko/3722582543/

doors

“No one’s spiritual practice is exactly like anyone else’s. Life meets each of us where we need to be met, leading us to the doors with our names on them.”

Barbara Brown Taylor

I have been reflecting on this topic for some time now. I have been in conversations revolving around about how, when, and why God heals. It has made me consider what in my life I should ask healing for. I completely believe that God can heal. But, I also believe that He can and will teach me beautiful things in the midst of the difficulties. My trust and faith have not been diminished by the difficulties….in fact, I feel they have grown deeper.

For whatever reason, I am content to be at the door with my name on it. What door is God leading you to?
Grace and peace ~
Deb


Photo by John Faherty Photography
http://www.flickr.com/photos/johnfahertyphotography/2654949076/

cooperation

“The core task of all good spirituality is to teach us to “cooperate” with what God already wants to do and has already begun to do (Romans 8:28). In fact, nothing good would ever even enter our minds unless in the previous moment God had not already “moved” within us. We are always and forever seconding the motion.”

Richard Rohr

What do the shower, the few minutes before I fall asleep and the few moments when I am waking up have in common? Those seem to be prime times for me to hear God’s voice. Are those particularly active times for God or are they times when, for whatever reason, my intellect, my thinking, does not get in the way of what God wants to say? Ok…I know that saying God activity level has anything to do with my showering is just bad theology so we’ll just say the variable is on my end.

Whatever the reason, these seem to be the times when the puzzle pieces come together for me. There will be something I need to decide or pull together or figure out. I can make charts, lists, graphs, etc, with little to no progress. Then I can be falling asleep and “BAM”…there it is.

The past couple of weeks I have been struggling with a particular issue. I was being asked to do something that I felt pretty resistant to. I tried to do it but felt something was ‘off’. I kept trying to ‘figure it out’ to no avail. Then, as I was going to sleep, the reason became very clear. It made sense.

I am becoming more and more cognizant of the fact that these are times God speaks to me. And, it usually is revealed in a way that surprises and amazes me. I am trying to learn to lean into God when I have a decision to make or a situation to figure out. I need to remember that He initiates, and I respond. The more aware I can become of the fact that I am cooperating with God (and not the other way around) life becomes less tangled, less pressured.

Have something on your mind? A decision to make? A situation to work through? What would it be like to stop thinking about it, over and over, and offer it up to God, asking Him to speak when the time is right? You never know - it may make for some very interesting showers…..

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by jfpeck http://www.flickr.com/photos/44442915@N00/3035887375/

presence

“Spirituality is the sacred center of which all life comes, including Mondays and Tuesdays and rainy Saturday afternoons in all their mundane and glorious details.”

Christina Baldwin

God is everywhere and in everything. Every moment has something of Him in it. All we need to do is be aware and be looking for it.

He is not only found in those activities we see as ‘sacred’ but also in the mundane….the everyday tasks we do with out even thinking about. Brushing our teeth, making our bed, doing the dishes.

When we begin to see life through these eyes, everything is sacred. Celebrate the sacred in your life.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Andrew @ Cuba Gallery http://www.flickr.com/photos/cubagallery/6229389973/

serenity

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Sometimes this is really hard for me. I am getting better at accepting things I cannot change. And I am getting better at changing the things I can. Where I struggle, at times, is knowing the difference.

A friend of mine, Pastor John Stringer, explained it this way; he drew two concentric circles. Inside the smaller circle is ‘my responsibility’….the outer circle is labeled ‘my concern’. Whatever falls within the smaller circle are those things I have some control over. What falls in the outer circle are things that I care about but, ultimately, have little control over. When he shared this with me, it was evident that I had spent a lot of my time and energy focused on those things I have no control over.

Now, I try to take some time and assess where my energy needs to be expended. Is the situation that is bothering me something I can do anything about or is it out of my control? Once I sit down and take the time to think it through, I am better at letting go of those things I can’t change or move forward on the things I can impact.
Are there things in your life that you are frustrated by? Things you want to change but don’t seem to be able to? Maybe they are things you can’t change…you have no power to change. Consider weighing the circumstances by this standard…figure out what falls within your realm of responsibility and what falls within the area of your concern. If you can do something to change the situation, do it. If not, offer it up to God in prayer and ask Him to work as He chooses. These decisions will create an atmosphere of serenity in your life.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Erroba http://www.flickr.com/photos/erroba/2218528689/

fear

“Fear not that your life will come to an end…fear rather that it will never come to a beginning.”

Cardinal Newman

For many years, I lived my life in such a way as to avoid my fears. I’d only try things I felt I would succeed at. I wouldn’t fly (on two separate occasions I took a train across the country for three days – one way!). I would hear God speaking to me but I was like Moses….I was full of excuses about why I couldn’t do what he was asking me to do….why he must have had me confused with someone else.

Over ten years ago I heard God asking me to step out. To fly. Not metaphorically but literally. He was asking me to get on a plane and fly to Romania. Not Ohio, but Romania. The Romania that is over there across the ocean. The ocean….that place where you really can’t land a plane. But this time, I said ‘yes’. It was a big, fat, scary yes, but a yes all the same. It took prayer, friends, and Xanax to ‘git ‘er done’. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done but also one of the most life changing. That one decision opened up a world to me that I could have only imagined before. It helped shape the ministry God wanted me to be involved in and also impacted my confidence to say ‘yes’ to Him even when I doubt my own ability.

This past year, I said another big ‘yes’ to God. I sensed Him asking me to develop a new ministry. He has given me the vision and asked me to step out and develop it. I am not sure what the outcome will be but I said ‘yes’. Our doors opened in September. I recognize that this ministry is His…I’m only managing it for Him.

Are you living your life held back by fear? Do you sense God asking you to do something? What is holding you back? I invite you to give your fear to Jesus and trust Him to carry you through whatever He is calling you to do. Risk it. Consider living an outrageous life with Jesus. May your prayer be - "God - I want to trust you more than I don't want to believe in myself."

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Leelawadee http://www.flickr.com/photos/yaspal/2812709301/

dependance

“May all your expectations be frustrated. May all your plans be thwarted, that you may experience the powerlessness and poverty of a child and sing and dance in the love of God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.”


A prayer offered by a friend for Henri Nouwen

Complete dependence on God is what I want. I think about, I can even do it for a few moments at a time. Then I forget. Especially when things are going well. But, in those times when I feel as if things are out of control, my thoughts turn to God. Those times increase my dependence on Him. But I want more than just a ‘lifeboat’ mentality. I want to be fully aware of God’s presence and sovereignty in my life every day. May it begin today.

Grace and peace,
Deb

just breathe

We don’t need to be reminded to breathe,
but we can learn to be more conscious
of this precious gift of the breath of life.

Wherever you are,
and whatever you are doing,
take a minute to become aware of your own breathing.
Don’t change its rhythm, just notice it.
Just doing this will help you become more calm,
and refresh your perspective on life.
It will also become a relief to your body,
and may even reduce your blood pressure.

Now take it a step further:

Each time you breathe out,
consciously let go, or express, any anxiety or concerns
you may have.

Each time you breathe in,
breathe in the power and the love of God,
and the life of God’s creation,
which sustains you constantly,
whether you are aware of it or not.

Practice this rhythm for a few minutes
whenever you have an opportunity.
Return to it whenever you can
and especially whenever you are feeling stressed.

Margaret Silf
The Gift of Prayer

gifts

gifts ~
unexpected,
un-asked for,
appear out of nowhere.

You give to express
your love,
your concern,
your desire for me.

like a rose left on the doorstep.

feb 07

grace and peace,
deb

Photo by lia_ro21 http://www.flickr.com/photos/24117329@N06/2337218572/

waiting

“Waiting is certainly a kind of prayer, especially if you can stand howling, wide open spaces.”
Barbara Brown Taylor

Why is waiting so hard? I think it is because we realize, in the waiting, that we are not the one in control. It is a helpless place.

I have several friends in the midst of waiting right now. Waiting for medical results. Waiting for work situations to change. Waiting for husbands to come home. Waiting for a child to return. Waiting. Waiting can seem like a howling, wide open space where we can’t seem to find the boundaries, the edges. It feels too open, too spacious. It feels as if we might just get lost in the waiting, unable to find our way back.

Patience is always attached to waiting. It describes how we are waiting….or not. Are we pushing against the waiting or are we resting in the waiting? I think that might be what patience looks like….resting. Which, seems to come right back to trust.

Are you ‘waiting’? What are you waiting for? The test result? That phone call or email? That job offer? What would it look like to wait patiently? To trust in the waiting? To sense God’s loving arms wrapped around you in the middle of the howling, wide open space?

Consider praying not only for your situation but also for your waiting. Resist making the waiting a negative place but consider allowing the waiting to be a place of formation – the waiting itself a place of rest and trust.

Grace and peace –
Deb

sorrow

My heart aches for the burden you bear.
I cannot fathom its depths.
Pain untold as you witness your children languish in their own choices.
Sometimes I carry judgment ~
I want you to deal with it the way the way I would. Or would I?
How can I know how I would react?
I try to imagine but the pain of it keeps me from staying there.
If I am unable to even pretend how it feels,
how can I bring any judgment to you?

How can I love you?
How can I support you?
How can I be Jesus with skin on to you?
How can I invite myself into your pain, your world?
How can I truly be myself with you when I am in a place of blessing?
How can share my joy?

I think all I can do is leave you to the Father and ask Him to hold you – hold you in all your pain – the pain I am too frail to hold.
He knows….
how to love you,
how to support you,
how to be in your world of pain.
Because of Him I can try to enter in.
A poor substitute but He can cover my lack.
My hearts aches for the burden you bear.

Love,
deb

Photo by Venusienne http://www.flickr.com/photos/venusienne/240718655/

presence

day has come.
night releases her hold on the earth
and allows light to illuminate the land.
and so every 24 hours, a day that has never been before.

a new beginning.
a fresh start.
a chance to be present.
a chance to be real.
a chance to be open.
a chance to be.

i take this for granted.
i forget.
i move and do without thinking, automatic.

may i not waste today.
may i be present.
may i be real.
may i be open.
may i be.

Grace and peace,
Deb

awareness

“Man’s walled mind has no access to a ladder upon which he can, of his own strength, rise to knowledge of God. Yet his soul is endowed with translucent windows that open to the beyond.”
Abraham Heschel


God wants to be known by me. He wants to be pursued by me. He wants to be desired by me. He gives me ample opportunity to see Him. All I have to do is be aware of the ‘translucent windows’ that give me glimpses into His presence. It may be in the form of a rainbow or a sunset. It may be in the coo of a baby. It may be in the sweet smell of a springtime rain. It may be in the power of lightening or the quiet hush of a new snowfall. It may be in vibrant color of a tropical fish or in the majesty of a mountain. It may be in the beauty of the Word or in the soothing words of a friend.

The evidence is everywhere…I just need to be looking. I invite you to join me today in looking for Him, in all the different ways He reveals himself.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Ms Soccer_Roo http://www.flickr.com/photos/roosfotos/107299791/

solitude

“Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.”


Paul Tillich

Loneliness is epidemic in our world. We can feel lonely in a room full of people. We can feel so disconnected from others. We long for connection, for intimacy.

Solitude is rare in our world. It is a choice we make to create room in our spirits for God to dwell, to work. It is a place where we sit with God….a place to connect with Him and allow intimacy to develop.

Loneliness is inner emptiness.

Solitude is inner fulfillment.

Loneliness is pain.

Solitude is glory.

Loneliness is a place of hollowness.

Solitude is a place of formation.

I invite you to spend some time today in solitude, asking God to create a place of formation inside of you where your relationship with him may deepen and grow.

Grace and Peace,
Deb


Photo by Eldho Nasrani http://www.flickr.com/photos/49572524@N06/4555863120/

choice

“The ancient tension between judgment and mercy is found everywhere in the world. While we may experience it most immediately in our own minds and hearts, this tension informs our medical systems, our political ideologies, even our religious beliefs. If people are basically bad, then they will need to be fixed, shaped, purged of sin, and punished. If, on the other hand, people are essentially good, then we need to be nourished, supported, encouraged, and taught.”

Wayne Muller

What would a shift in my perspective change? What if I were more prone to extend mercy than to pronounce judgment?

When I consider these two ways of approaching life, approaching people – mercy and judgment – I think of Jesus and the Pharisees. The Pharisees were concerned only with the law. They were experts on judgment. Jesus was about drawing out the best in people, helping them see themselves the way He saw them, especially those who were looked on with disdain by the religious elite. He was an expert on mercy. Did he pronounce judgment? Yes – usually on the Pharisees.

Christians have a reputation for being judgmental. I wonder how many times I have contributed to that perception. My deep desire is to be more like Jesus. That means being less judgmental and more merciful. And not just in my behavior or my speech but in my thoughts….yeah – that’s the really hard part. What I know for sure is that I will be given a chance to choose today – judgment or mercy. Please God – let it be mercy.

Grace and peace –
Deb

photo by creativelenna http://www.flickr.com/photos/creativelenna/4388308190/

listen

Life is chaotic.
It’s loud and constantly moving.
No time alone.
No space.
No intentionality.
Just moving from thing to thing….task to task.
Keep moving.
Don’t stop.
It may pass you by.
The world may fall off its axis.

What? Be still?
Learn to listen?
Why?
God’s voice?
Afraid of what I might hear…
condemnation,
fear,
shame,
rejection….
But…what if…
He wants to speak something different into my life….
like love,
acceptance
forgiveness
peace,
joy,
value.
That is what He is offering.

I only need to listen….
Listen and accept.
Be still,
listen
and
hear.




Photo by Maggie Buenoventura http://www.flickr.com/photos/maggybuenaventura/3286761575/

shadows

Life is full of contradictions. There are these completely beautiful moments and then, before I know it, there is a shadow over it all. I live in a fallen world and part of that is my own brokenness. That causes shadows to fall over the things that bring me joy. I am, usually, caught off guard by my shadows. Then, there are other people’s shadows that fall over me, too.

Although I never want to become complacent with shadows, I need to understand that until I am with Him face to face…there will be shadows.

When shadows fall over certain aspects in your life, take the time to breathe and look for God in the midst of the shadow. Where is He? How is He speaking to you? Do you trust Him to redeem the shadow?

Shadows may…no, shadows WILL fall on your life. But know that God is as present in the shadows as He is in the sunshine.

Grace and peace,
Deb

photo by Engineer J http://www.flickr.com/photos/junaidrashid/430361360/