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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

fear


“Fear not that your life will come to an end…fear rather that it will never come to a beginning.”

Cardinal Newman

For many years, I lived my life in such a way as to avoid my fears. I’d only try things I felt I would succeed at. I wouldn’t fly (on two separate occasions I took a train across the country for three days – one way!). I would hear God speaking to me but I was like Moses….I was full of excuses about why I couldn’t do what he was asking me to do….why he must have had me confused with someone else.

Over ten years ago I heard God asking me to step out. To fly. Not metaphorically but literally. He was asking me to get on a plane and fly to Romania. Not Ohio, but Romania. The Romania that is over there across the ocean. The ocean….that place where you really can’t land a plane. But this time, I said ‘yes’. It was a big, fat, scary yes, but a yes all the same. It took prayer, friends, and Xanax to ‘git ‘er done’. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done but also one of the most life changing. That one decision opened up a world to me that I could have only imagined before. It helped shape the ministry God wanted me to be involved in and also impacted my confidence to say ‘yes’ to Him even when I doubt my own ability.

This past year, I said another big ‘yes’ to God. I sensed Him asking me to develop a new ministry. He has given me the vision and asked me to step out and develop it. I am not sure what the outcome will be but I said ‘yes’. Our doors opened in September. I recognize that this ministry is His…I’m only managing it for Him.

Are you living your life held back by fear? Do you sense God asking you to do something? What is holding you back? I invite you to give your fear to Jesus and trust Him to carry you through whatever He is calling you to do. Risk it. Consider living an outrageous life with Jesus. May your prayer be - "God - I want to trust you more than I don't want to believe in myself."

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Leelawadee http://www.flickr.com/photos/yaspal/2812709301/

2 comments:

Carol S. said...

Cool.
What's the new ministry, Deb?

deb said...

Hi Carol,-
I opened a spiritual formation center in York. We offer classes in contemplative spirituality and spiritual direction. Right now we are in the middle of a nine month class on spiritual practices.

We don't have our website up and running yet. When we do, I'll post something on the blog. :)