sabbath

no post today ~ enjoy the sabbath

exposure

“Many avoid the path of self-knowledge because they are afraid of being swallowed up in their own abysses. But Christians have confidence that Christ has lived through all the abysses of human life and that he goes with us when we dare to engage in sincere confrontation with ourselves. Because God loves us unconditionally – along with our dark sides – we don’t need to dodge ourselves. In the light of this love the pain of self knowledge can be at the same time the beginning of our healing.”

Richard Rohr


It is comforting to think that God loves me, dark side and all. I don’t think I would have always said that. There was a time when I tried to hide my dark side from God, as if that were even possible. Now, I know that healing truly comes only when I allow God to gently show me what I need to know, acknowledge the truth about myself and allow Him to change me.


May you allow God to shine His light on the dark areas of your heart and may you sense healing taking place.


Grace and peace,
Deb

extravagant love

A jar of perfume
poured out over Jesus
and a question is born;
What is the point of such extravagant?
Why this waste?
I don’t know,
I honestly don’t know.
But if this shocks you so
get ready
for you’ll see more
more than costly perfume poured out.

You’ll see lives poured out
given freely
used up
spilled out
wasted
for no reason at all.

Extravagance unlimited!
Lives poured out
handed over
lost
thrown away
for Jesus!

What is the point of such extravagance?
Why such waste?
Beautiful questions
with no answers.
And how sad if no one
has ever asked us;
Why such extravagance?

Macrina Wiederkehr

veil of grace

“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”

C. S. Lewis

Is this how you look at life? Do you see everything in the light of Christ? Imagine how differently things would look if they were covered with grace.

There was a person who hurt me during my childhood. As I’ve reflected back on this, I’ve realized I have a choice. I could choose to see what they did as deliberate and take it personally…or…I could choose to see them as broken and hurt themselves and that they acted out of their brokenness.

Does it excuse hurtful behavior? No…but it may help the one who is hurt to recognize that, short of God’s grace, none of us have the ability to love deeply.

Consider looking at everything and everyone today through the veil of God’s grace.

Grace and peace,
Deb

contentment

“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”

~Lao Tzu

I am caught between two worlds. I’ve had the privilege of traveling overseas. I’ve been to, at least, 18 countries. The majority of my travel has not been for pleasure but for missions so I’ve seen some of the poorest areas in the world. People lack clean water and adequate food and have little to no medical attention. They live in small, cramped quarters; places where cardboard and corrugated metal make a ‘room’ for their families.


I've seen it and it impacts me. I always say that I will simplify when I get home, changing my way of living. Over the years, I have made changes. I’ve made decisions to live with less. But, I am still a product of my culture. It doesn’t seem to take long before I am sucked back into ‘wanting more’. Dissatisfaction settles in and I am filled with discontentment.


I am still working through this dilemma. I am glad that my eyes are open and that I live in the tension between these two ‘realities. I can only pray that God will continue to speak to me about how He wants me to use what He has given me and how I can share it with others. I thank Him for the way He gently reminds me that I am being a ‘brat’, wanting what I want when most of the world doesn’t even have what they need.


God….never let me forget what I’ve seen, what I’ve experienced and keep my heart tender towards the world. Help me to be content with what I have, to rejoice in the way things are.


Grace and peace,
Deb

desire

“The reason we are not able to see God is the faintness of our desire”.

Meister Eckhart

I need to be awake. I don’t want to sleepwalk through life. I don’t want to move from one day into another day without being aware of God and where He is moving. To see Him, I need to quiet myself and be intentional.

What is your desire like for God? Is having an intimate relationship with Him the most important thing to you?

Grace and peace,
Deb

unworthy

“What the gospel says about our situation is that the holy Mystery (God) presses upon us from without and within with a permanent offer of forgiveness, no matter what we have done. Believing that and accepting the offer leaves us at peace with God and with ourselves. It removes the bitter guilt of sin.
After that, we can still expect to fail; and when we do, we should feel remorse and ‘godly grief’. After all, that is a sign of self- respect indicating we have done something unworthy of ourselves.”
~ from Call of Discernment by Dean Brackley

I believe this quote is talking about a fundamental shift I’ve experienced in my awareness of God and my relationship with Him. Early in my Christian journey, when I would fail, I would feel as if I had let God down. I feared His judgment and would try to make up for my downfall or set a firm resolve to do better in the future. The reality is this - I will continue to fail. Hopefully, I will ‘fail’ better, meaning I notice sooner when I am on the wrong course or I am uncomfortable with my thoughts and motives, indicating an inner change and a sign that I am slowly being transformed. But, I will continue to fail, to some degree, until the day I die.
I resonate with what Brackley says – I know, that on some level I have done something unworthy of myself. As I grow in sensing the depth to which God loves me and I remember that I carry His image within me, I begin to awaken to the knowledge that I was made for more. Not only do I let God down, I let myself down.
It is the difference between trying hard to be good and wanting to be who you were meant to be. It is the difference between doing or not doing things out of fear and doing or not doing things out of love. It makes all the difference in the world.

Grace and peace,
Deb

sabbath

no post today ~ enjoy your sabbath

surprised

“(Sabbath is a) means by which we become prepared for grace to surprise us. (It is one of the) ways of opening our hands so that we can receive the gifts God wants to give us.”

Brian McLaren

When was the last time you were ‘surprised by grace’? Do you remember? Was it something someone said to you? Was it something that happened to you that knew was of God? Was it something you saw?
All of earth is dripping with the presence of God. Will you take the time to notice? Will you ask Him to give you eyes to see it or ears to hear it?
Slow down. Watch and listen. Allow Him to surprise you by grace.
Grace and peace,
Deb

surrender

We see the signs
but cannot always
divine their meanings.
You call us to move forward
not always knowing
whether what we grasp
in our hands
will prove to be
a seed of hope
or a thorn in our flesh.
Train our fingers,
that what brings life
we may with persistence hold,
and that which wastes
our souls
we may with grace release.

Jan Richardson

outside the box

Show me your way, O Lord
teach me your path
guide me in your truth
and instruct me,
for you are God, my salvation
for you I yearn all the day.

From the 25th Psalm

So many times, we think we know how to become closer to God. We’ve been taught ‘how to do it’ by more mature believers, we do what our parents did, or we’ve been taught by a church. We follow the formula and hope for it to lead us closer to God. But I don’t think it works that way. I think God does the initiating. I think God does the teaching. All we need to do is quiet ourselves, listen to him and allow him to teach us. He made us all individuals and it stands to reason that a ‘one size fits all’ relationship isn’t how God works.


May you listen to God and allow him to show you how he wants you to be with him….even if it is “outside of the box”.


Grace and peace,
Deb

life

The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.

~Virginia Woolf

How true. One thing we know for sure is that there will be days filled with laughter (just had seven of those last week) and days filled with anguish (that would aptly describe my last two). This is the stuff that makes up life.
Last week I went to a residency for a master’s program I am involved in. I met my cohort, six people, who had previously been faceless classmates who I knew more by their comments in our on-line discussion room than by their hearts. It was a wonderful week. I learned a lot and I laughed a lot…and I do mean a lot. I got to know people I will continue to journey with, not only for the next two years but for a long time. I also had meaningful conversations with other students and faculty and received validation of my ministry. It was an awesome week.

My last two days have been spent in the hospital. Five months ago, I convinced my mom to move to PA from AZ. She has had health problems for years and I wanted her to be close to family so we could monitor her medical concerns and surround her with love. This morning we received a diagnosis that means her life…and mine…will change. To watch her begin to grapple with her new reality is heartbreaking for me.

What I find beautiful is that I so sense God’s presence in both of these situations. Although it may be more obvious in my week of laughter and affirmation, His love was so evident today in that hospital room. I know that even though my heart is heavy and the future is unsure, I can trust Him. I felt Him comfort me and that comfort comes with no guarantee of any specific outcome. He loves me and He loves her. Period. I can rest in that.

Today, wherever you find yourself, know He is there with you. Rest in that fact. Fully embrace whatever it is, laughter or anguish - this is the stuff of life.
Grace and peace,
Deb

chicken or egg?

“We are not sinners because we commit sinful acts ~ we commit sinful acts because we are sinners.”

Richard Foster

Makes you stop and think doesn’t it? I Deb, am not a sinner because I commit sinful acts….I commit sinful acts because I am a sinner. What came first – the chicken or the egg? In this case, I think it’s the chicken.
This isn’t the way to was supposed to be. We were meant to live in perfect communion with God but it all got kinda messed up in the Garden. Yeah…remember that little incident? Had something to do with a woman, an apple and a snake. Never a good combination. Actually, it represents the very acts that I engage in that would signify me being a card carrying member of the sinner club….wanting my own way. Wanting to be in charge. Not truly believing that God knows best, that He loves me, that I can fully trust Him. Yep…those are the times when know I am a sister of Eve. Listening to the whispers of the enemy in my ear and picking the apple. I know isn’t what God has for me but thinking it will fill the hole left by the fall. But, it doesn’t. The only thing that fills it is Him.

Am I a sinner? Oh yeah. Will I continue to commit sinful acts? Oh yeah. Does He love me in spite of that? Oh yeah. Thank you, Jesus.

May you acknowledge your ‘sinner’ status but not let it define you. May you allow God to speak His love into your empty spaces. May you remember that although you are a sister of Eve or a brother of Adam, more importantly, you are a child of God.

Grace and peace,
Deb

resident alien

“Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat what they produce . . .But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare . . . For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.”

Jeremiah 29:4-5, 7, 11

We were not made for this world, as it is. Remember the Garden? That distance memory of perfection and intimate relationship with God? I don’t either! Only hearing about it, and only having the experience of living in the world after the fall, my mind cannot even conceive of what it was like.

But, these verses from Jeremiah tell the people of Israel, who live in exiles, to live . . . really live. They are told to build houses and plant gardens. But not only are they told to settle down and build lives, they are told to pray for the culture they are living in.

I rarely pray for my community. Unfortunately, I more often than not, look around and feel frustration with those who do not see themselves as aliens here. Prayer just isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. But, it should be.

Lord, remind me to lift those up to you that live around me, those who do not recognize the reality of who you are. Help me reflect Jesus to them. Help me to be someone who draws people to you and not away from you. Help me to recognize myself as an ‘alien resident’ who brings hope and love instead of judgment.


Grace and Peace,
Deb

sabbath

no post today ~ enjoy your sabbath

just be

“When our response has been played out in all of its fury, angst, or exuberance, we come to a place of rest in God. Here there are no expectations, demands, no need to know, no desire but to be in the Divine Presence, receptive to what God desires to do with us.”

Marjorie Thompson

Is this where you find yourself? Are you able to just ‘be’ with God or are you still striving to earn His approval or love? Have you abandoned yourself to Him or are you still trying to make Him do what you want Him to do?

May you rest in Him today. May you know that He loves you completely and that whatever He has for you in your life is so much better than anything you could plan for yourself. May you stop expecting, demanding, needing the whole plan to be laid out in front of you and just . . be.

Grace and peace,
Deb

life

We see the signs
but cannot always
divine their meanings.
You call us to move forward
not always knowing
whether what we grasp
in our hands
will prove to be
a seed of hope
or a thorn in our flesh.
Train our fingers,
that what brings life
we may with persistence hold,
and that which wastes
our souls
we may with grace release.
Jan Richardson

relationships

"You can’t make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth."

Unknown

Not much is more painful than to love someone who doesn’t return that love, to want to be in relationship with someone who doesn’t want the same thing.

I have a friend who is going through a tough time right now. She loves her child but there doesn’t seem to be any interest in a relationship on his part. What this young man doesn’t know is that his mom is an incredible woman. She is warm and gifted. She is generous and giving. She is nurturing and compassionate. He doesn’t see that there would be so many benefits to having her in his life.

God is using this painful situation to show her how she may need to redefine the word “family”. She is seeing that there are people in her life who want to be there. She is seeing that she has a lot to give others and she is beginning to give back what she has received. She is learning to depend on God for her sense of worth and dignity.

I am sad for her son. He is missing out on having a relationship with his mom. My prayer for him is that he realizes what he is missing before too much time has gone by.

Bottom line ~ relationships can bring immense joy or incredible pain into our lives. This side of heaven, they will continue to be a struggle. But, when we find our worth in God, although it may still be painful, we can rise above it.

Grace and peace,
Deb

rest

When you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent.

Psalm 4

I used to go to bed at night and pray. I would mentally go through my list of people to pray for and somewhere in the middle of that list, fall asleep. I thought it was a wonderful way to drift off.

Now, I am silent. I review my day and look for the places where I was able to see God. Then I rest in God’s presence and do not speak. I want my last thought before I go to sleep to be only of God. Not of what I might want from Him but just ‘of Him’.

Consider, tonight, spending a few moments looking for where God revealed himself to you throughout your day. Then, just rest and allow your last conscious thought to be of Him.

Grace and peace,
Deb

love

…”the Lord does not look so much at the magnitude of anything we do as at the love we do it with…”

St Theresa of Avila

Sound familiar?


“ If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.”
I Cor 13:1-3

No matter how great our achievements are, no matter how many people we impact, how many books we write, how many awards we win, how much education we have…without love, it all means nothing.

Lord…may I love today.

transparency

“With regard to God, people often say, “There’s no need to tell him how I feel or what I desire because he already knows.” What is in question is not God’s knowledge but my trust in him, my willingness to be as transparent as I can be before him.”
William A. Barry

As a woman, I love to hear my husband say, “I love you”, or “If I had to choose all over again, I would choose you.” And, when I ask him why he doesn’t say it more often, he says “You already know it.” Sometimes he thinks that if he says it once or twice, it’s sufficient, or that implied love is the same as expressed love. But…even if I know it, I still like to hear it.

I wonder if that is what it is like for God. Even though he knows everything, he still wants to hear it. Not only how much I love him, but that I also know that I fall short. And I think he not only wants to hear me talk of it in generalities but in specifics. That way, I am ‘speaking’ it. It makes it more real to me. And it shows my trust in him. When I let go of my defensives and stand emotionally naked before God, he knows that I trust his love for me. He knows that I want to be real, to be transparent in front of him. And…I think he loves to hear me speak it.

Today, consider what it is that you are not saying to God. What are you hoping he ‘just knows’ to save yourself the pain of speaking it? Tell him…tell the One who loves you more than any other, the One who already knows, but wants to hear you entrust it to him.

Grace and peace,
Deb

sabbath

no post today ~ enjoy your sabbath

trust

“If we lack confidence that life is trustworthy, that a life of live encounters will take us towards wholeness, then we will forever feel the need to manipulate, and goal setting will be one of our major strategies.”Parker Palmer, The Active Life

This quote struck a chord within me. I can be the master manipulator. And I know how to make it look oh so good. Know what I mean? I actually can make it look like it is for your good. I am not proud of this. I think it is a coping mechanism I picked up while trying to find my way through some challenging times in my early days.

Over the past couple of years, I have begun to find freedom in allowing God to set my agenda. Not always easy, not always comfortable, not always my first inclination. It is not easy for me to give up control. But then I realize I really don’t have all that much control.

This doesn’t mean that I sit in a chair all day long and wait for things to drop into my lap. I do have hopes, dreams and aspirations. What is does mean is that I try not to push into things. I want to look, pay attention and notice what God may be leading me into. I try not to create the outcome I want. I try to be open to whatever God has me. I hold my goals with open hands willing to let go of that which doesn’t fit with God’s plan.

May you trust that God will provide you with a life of live encounters that will take you towards wholeness….the wholeness He desires for you.

Grace and peace,
Deb

ancient future

“The sons and daughters of modernity are rediscovering the neglected beauty of classical Christian teaching. It s a moment of joy, of beholding anew what has been forgotten, of hugging a lost child. One of the most promising developments among evangelical Protestants is the recent ‘discovery’ of the rich, biblical, spiritual, and theological treasures to be found within the early church.”

Chris Armstrong

At times, I lead a class on how to approach the Scriptures in a transformative way ~ lectio divina. It is an ancient practice that has been a part of monastery life for over 1500 years. But, it is being ‘rediscovered’ in evangelical circles. And, it is to our benefit.

For years, I have approached my Christianity in a rational manner. I had knowledge of Scripture, knowledge of Jesus, knowledge of God’s character. But, when I began, several years ago, to practice a more contemplative spirituality, it is like my spiritual life was awakened from a deep sleep. The Bible now breathes hope into my spirit. Jesus now is someone I have an intimate relationship with rather than someone I have pledged my allegiance to. And I can picture God singing over me because He loves me. My spirit has new life.

We do not need to fear what the ancient church mothers and fathers passed down through the generations. If we can find a place, within our rational faith framework, for the possibility that we do not have it all figured out, and be open to learning some new ways to experience God, we may find ourselves moving closer to the Lord than we ever thought possible .. . not just with our head but with our heart.

Grace and peace,
Deb

spiritual friends

I could never do this spiritual life alone. I need my spiritual friends. What I mean by this is that I need those people who help me see the ways. They don’t tell me which way to go but they illuminate the path and make the journey with me. About 8 years ago a friend of mine shared his evolving spiritual journey with me. I was intrigued. Something in my spirit was awakened and the spiritual landscape slowly began to change for me.

It’s like I’m on this glorious trip that God has arranged for me. He has graciously given me people who can help me along the way. They may have traveled this way before me and can help me navigate the way – or even if their journey has been different, they can help me make sense of landmarks I might be encountering. One of my relationships is strictly for this purpose. I know that when I spend time with her, the intention is to see where God is at work in my life. I am also blessed with traveling companions - wonderful friends who I can have spiritual conversations with and do life with. And then, there are those beautiful, surprise, random encounters where God uses the most unlikely person or circumstance to speak in to my life or point me in the right direction.

Who are the guides in your life? Who are those people you are intentionally speaking to, help you discern the movement of God in your life? Who are the friends that build into you…celebrate the grace you are noticing and support any correction God wants to make in your walk? Who are the people who seem to help you clarify God's leading? Many times, we take these life-giving relationships for granted. Pause today to reflect and be thankful for those who accompany you.

Grace and peace,
Deb

the beauty of art

“Art can warm even a chilled and sunless soul to an exalted spiritual experience. Through art, we occasionally receive – indistinctly, briefly – revelations the likes of which cannot be achieved by rational thought.

It is like the small mirror of legend, you look into it but instead of yourself, you glimpse for a moment, the Inaccessible, a realm forever beyond reach. And your soul begins to ache.”

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Art can move us beyond what we can see, hear or touch with our normal human senses. It can truly give us a glimpse into beauty which is close to God’s heart.

Delight today in a piece of art and allow it to move you into a place of beauty.

Grace and peace,
Deb

responsibility

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”

~Author Unknown

 

Yesterday, I reflected on the way you can let the actions of others impact you in unhealthy ways. Today, I want to spend a few minutes looking at how it hurts you when you don’t take responsibility for your own wrongdoing. How have your actions hurt others? You may have hurt them either intentionally or unintentionally but the result is the same – someone was hurt because of something you did or did not do, said or did not say.

It may seem easier to just brush past it, hoping time will heal all wounds. And yesterday, we looked at the fact that the other person is responsible for their own healing. But when you don’t take responsibility for your own mistakes, you don’t grow. You aren’t living a life of integrity.

I often find myself in a position of helping people work through conflicts. Everyone make mistakes – but not everyone is able to admit them and take responsibility for them. One of the marks of true transformation is not the absence of mistakes but the ability to own them. It is far easier to side step the issue or to place blame, either on the others involved or on the situation than to say ‘I messed up’. It is amazing how healing those few words can be. It’s amazing how they can change the hearts of those we have hurt and even more amazing how they can change us.

Is there anything that you know you need to accept responsibility for? Ask God to reveal to you what He might want you to own and then consider what you might do to rectify it.

Grace and peace,

Deb

responsibility

"The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny."
~Albert Ellis

I have found myself in conversations over the past several months with individuals who are struggling with feelings of resentment, frustration and anger. These feelings are the remnants of situations where they felt wronged or hurt.
In each conversation there is a valid reason for the feelings they have. They all were wronged in some way, to some degree. So – their desire for closure, for an apology, for some measure of vindication is understandable. But basing their ability to move past the hurt on the expectation that they will receive any of those things is the equivalent of locking themselves in cell.

You do not have control over how others interact with you. You have no control over the some of the circumstances you find yourself in. The only thing you can control is your response. What will you do with your feelings? Why would you choose to hang onto the negativity? Why would you allow someone to have so much negative influence on your life?

You may find yourself questioning the system. Why did it let you down? Why didn’t it work the way it was supposed to? How can you trust it again? Trust people again?

Actually, your lack of trust is not with others…it is with God. You may not trust Him to work towards ultimate justice – so you may feel you need to help Him out with that. You may not trust Him to work something beautiful out of something hurtful or difficult. You may not trust that He may be doing things that you do not know about or understand as He works deeply in each person involved.

If you find yourself today, hurt or anger over an offense, consider offering it to God and allow Him to work out the specifics. Only through taking responsibility for your own life, will you truly grow.

Tomorrow – the other side of the coin.

Grace and peace,
Deb

sabbath

 

  no post today ~ enjoy your sabbath

cloud of witnesses

As we continue to reflect on our relationship with Jesus, I want to encourage you today to look at who was instrumental in your spiritual life. Perhaps you had the privilege of being raised in a Christian home where God was no stranger. Maybe it was a parent or grandparent who prayed with you and told you that God loved you. Or perhaps it was a friend, within which you noticed something different, something attractive. Or maybe you were like me and it was the guy who took a chance on dating someone who didn’t have a strong relationship with God.

Through their example you realized there was more to this “God” thing. As I think back I can name several people who God used to woo me to Him. I am so grateful to Him for placing them in my life.

I invite you to spend some time today reflecting on who those people were in your life. Who pointed you to the One who loves you more than anyone possibly could? Who shared the truth of who He is? Who stirred the desire in your heart for more? And who played a part in you anticipating this upcoming Christmas Day when we celebrate His coming to earth? Consider spending some time today lifting them up in prayer and asking God that they might experience a fuller measure of His presence this season.

Grace and peace,
Deb