responsibility

"The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny."
~Albert Ellis

I have found myself in conversations over the past several months with individuals who are struggling with feelings of resentment, frustration and anger. These feelings are the remnants of situations where they felt wronged or hurt.
In each conversation there is a valid reason for the feelings they have. They all were wronged in some way, to some degree. So – their desire for closure, for an apology, for some measure of vindication is understandable. But basing their ability to move past the hurt on the expectation that they will receive any of those things is the equivalent of locking themselves in cell.

You do not have control over how others interact with you. You have no control over the some of the circumstances you find yourself in. The only thing you can control is your response. What will you do with your feelings? Why would you choose to hang onto the negativity? Why would you allow someone to have so much negative influence on your life?

You may find yourself questioning the system. Why did it let you down? Why didn’t it work the way it was supposed to? How can you trust it again? Trust people again?

Actually, your lack of trust is not with others…it is with God. You may not trust Him to work towards ultimate justice – so you may feel you need to help Him out with that. You may not trust Him to work something beautiful out of something hurtful or difficult. You may not trust that He may be doing things that you do not know about or understand as He works deeply in each person involved.

If you find yourself today, hurt or anger over an offense, consider offering it to God and allow Him to work out the specifics. Only through taking responsibility for your own life, will you truly grow.

Tomorrow – the other side of the coin.

Grace and peace,
Deb