barren trees and love

Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend. We were talking about some of the barren trees in our lives...about the people that God allows to come into our lives that are difficult. They push us to the limits of our human capabilities. Without God and His love, we would…hmmmm…what do I say here? We would say things we shouldn’t say, we would do things we shouldn’t do.

To speak for myself, sometimes these people say and do things, it seems, on purpose, to hurt me or those I love. I can easily become defensive and want to lash out. I am ashamed to admit I may spend some time planning what I might want to say or do. Thankfully, most of the time, before I act on that, I yield. God begins to work inside me and remind me that people usually act like that out of their brokenness. When I take the time to consider that, I can back up and try to look at them through God’s eyes. How does He want me to be with them?

One of the questions I have begun to ask myself is, “What would love do?” Don’t get me wrong…sometimes love is tough. Sometimes love needs to say hard things…set boundaries….say ‘no’. But, for me, those things can come from my sinfulness, not my ‘love’ for the other person. So the only way I can check myself is to ask “What would love do?” What is God asking me to do, how is He asking me to be with this person in this circumstance? Then, I need to act on that. It isn’t always what I want to do, but it is what I am asked to do. It doesn’t always work out either. It isn’t like “You do this and it will all turn out ok.” Hardly. But doing the right thing is still doing the right thing. I do it because it is the right thing, not to get a certain result.

Next time someone hurts you, try to step back and consider asking yourself the question, “What would love do?”. Then work towards that.

Peace,
Deb

colored leaves and barren trees

“Joy and sadness are as close to each other as the splendid colored leaves of a New England fall to the soberness of the barren tress. Joy and sadness are born at the same time both arising from such deep places in your heart that you can’t find words to capture your complex emotions.”

Henry Nouwen

I can identify with this quote. There have been times in my life when I am so filled with joy that I cannot find the words to express it. The birth of my children, those sweet times of being a mom to little ones, having one of my teenagers come to me with a problem, seeing them marry people who loved them, gaining an awesome grandson the same day I gained a new daughter, the birth of my granddaughters and the impending birth of my grandson. Then there are the times I am merely sitting with someone and they begin to share their spiritual journey and tears come to my eyes as I listen to the beauty that God is working in their lives. That is joy.

Then there is the flip side…the sadness. I have also had the experience of feeling such overwhelming sadness that I thought it might consume me. At times, there are no words to express what I am feeling. It is experienced more as a physical sensation, an ache in my chest. There have been the obvious times…the death of my sister-in-law at the age of 16, a miscarriage, illness in my children, the loss of my father-in-law, watching my children, as adults, go through painful situations, and the sadness of my own sin. There are also those times when I have such a sense of sadness and there is nothing that I can pinpoint in my life as the cause. I spend time with God asking Him what it might be that I am feeling sad about. I sense it is sadness over child abuse, the Sudan, poverty, etc….my heart can literally hurt over these things.

Joy and sadness. Both a part of life. Both are intense and both tell me I am alive. I want to embrace both, knowing that they are part of being human and knowing that God can hold all of it.

Embrace the joy and the pain in your life. Know that God will use all of it…to draw you closer to Him.

Peace,
Deb

sabbath

No post today - enjoy the sabbath

faithful

“I do not pray for success, I ask for faithfulness.”

Mother Teresa

Have you ever been asked by God to do something that you were not sure you could do? I have. And in those times I take my eyes off God. I look at the circumstances and see why it won’t work. The anxiety of making it successful is a bit overwhelming...the kind of overwhelming where I wake up in the middle of night and can’t get back to sleep.

But then, somehow, someway, God reminds me who is really in control. Why do I always forget that? Why do I always have to be reminded? He really is patient with me. And what He gently takes me back to is that all He wants me to be is faithful. And to leave the rest up to Him. That is a comforting thought. It’s enough to help a girl go back to sleep.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

awareness

Someone pointed out to me
That a pebble and a diamond
Are alike to a blind man.

Maybe I’ve been fingering
Diamonds all this time
Without even realizing it.

The author of this poem, Steven James, makes the point in his book, The Story, that blindness isn’t because of lack of light. That is darkness. Blindness is the inability to see the light that is all around you.

I think my life has been like this. God is always speaking to me, always moving in my life, but I usually don’t see it unless it is huge. I am like a blind woman who is surrounded by light but I am unable to see.

The prayer I pray the most lately is that God would allow me to see Him, to hear Him. I pray for new eyes to see what I have not seen. I ask for new ears to hear what I have not heard. All I want is to more aware of His presence. My inability to sense or feel Him isn’t because He isn’t here or isn't moving…it’s because I haven’t known how to look for Him.

The more I pray this prayer and keep my intention towards God, the more I notice Him in the simpler things in my life and sense His love for me.

Consider asking God for greater awareness today. It is a beautiful prayer that will draw you closer to Him.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

eden

East of Eden….I hear this phrase a lot in reference to our estrangement from the garden and the way life was supposed to be.

I try to imagine what Eden was like. What was ‘perfect’ like? What was ‘paradise’ like? What was walking and talking, having perfect fellowship with God like?

What would life be like with no shame, guilt, frustration, pain, sadness, tears, disappointment, AIDS, orphans, widows, sickness, adultery, power plays, low self-esteem, arrogance, terrorism, murder, lying, gossip, war, rejection, addiction, emotional, physical and sexual abuse, anorexia, bulimia, obesity, starvation, car accidents, plane crashes, computer crashes, global warming, arguing over whether or not there is such a thing as global warming, prejudice, racism, ageism, sexism, all the other ism’s, scarcity of resources, drought, famine, cancer, heart value surgery, miscarriages, stillborn babies, birth defects, anxiety, depression, mental illness, death, separation from God, etc.? The list goes on and on. I am sure you can add some of your own.

We don’t know what Eden would have been like. We have no context for it, no reference point. All we know is that it was...and will be again. What a wonderful thought. And I am so excited that there is something to look forward to that is so beautiful and perfect that my limited human mind cannot even begin to conceive of it.

Thank you God, for the promise of "Eden restored" when we will once again walk with You in perfect fellowship.

In deepest gratitude,
Deb

love

“All your love, your stretching out, your hope, your thirst, God is creating in you so that God may fill you…God is on the inside of the longing.”

Maria Boulding

This has been a new concept for me to wrap my brain around the past couple of years. I always thought I was the one trying to get closer to God…that it was my idea. Several years ago, when I began to explore a more contemplative spirituality, I truly thought that I was seeking a closer relationship with God. Now, I look at it differently. I have come to understand that the reason I desire a more intimate relationship with God is because He is stirring that within me. His desire to have intimacy with me is causing my desire to have intimacy with Him. Isn’t that an amazing thought?

In reality, it really isn’t a new thought to me at all. For thirty years of walking with Jesus, I have read and heard this verse:

"We love Him, because He first loved us."

(I John 4:19, Amplified Bible)

It’s like I never really ‘got it’ until recently. It makes perfect sense though doesn’t it? That everything good originates with God. I can only do or want good things because of the work of the Holy Spirit in my life.
I am in awe today, reflecting on the fact, that the God of the universe, the creator of all good things, desires to have a deeper, more intimate relationship with me. That makes me want to run to Him, to spend time with Him and to please Him with my life.

He wants that with you too……

Grace and Peace,
Deb