evening prayer

Let me fall asleep
as who I am,
and awake
one small uncluttered step
closer to you,
one small step closer
to the person I want to be ~
it will be enough.

John Kirvan

Photo by John Underwood http://www.flickr.com/photos/jonpartech9610/6075749919/

lost

“They needed 40 years in the wilderness to learn the ‘holy art of being lost’.”

Barbara Brown Taylor

Obviously she is talking about the Israelites. 40 years. Slow learners? It might be easy for us to say yes to that question but really – aren’t we all slow learners when it comes to the ‘holy art of being lost’? This is not the lost that we think about when someone doesn’t know God. It is more the lost that says we still need to be led, we need to be guided.

It is a subtle thing that happens as we are longer in our faith. We think we know. Know what? Know the right answers. Know what God is doing. Know exactly what the scripture means. Know who is in and who is out. Know just what the right thing is to say to make sure you are ‘in’. Know how God would feel about certain things. Know that our way is the only right way.

We lose our innocent and childlike wonder about who God is. We lose the awe of discovery. We lose site of the fact that God is God and we are not. We lose the ability to embrace mystery. We lose the chance to be teachable – because we think we already know.

Will you risk allowing yourself to experience the holy art of being lost? Of being open and moldable? Of being teachable and responsive to whatever God may have for you?

Take a risk – get lost today.
Grace and peace –
Deb

grace

“Some of us carry the early memory of our own wrongdoing long after God and others have forgiven us. Not realizing it, we hold onto regrets. We forget that time and grace wash clean.”

Emilie Griffin
Small Surrenders

When I spend time with women, it seems we are all too aware of our failings. It is helpful to take some time to recognize how damaging it can be when we refuse to accept the forgiveness of God. We are bound by chains of shame and regret. Those chains inhibit us from giving all we have and all we are to God. Our focus is more about our shortcomings than God’s ability to redeem them.

What chains are binding you today? What wrongdoing have you held onto? Consider taking it to God and leaving it there. Let grace wash it clean.

grace and peace,
~ Deb

mid-day prayer

God, by whom we are guided in judgment,
and who raises up for us light in the darkness.
Grant us, in our doubts and uncertainties,
the grace to ask what you would have us to do,
that your spirit of wisdom may save us
from all false choices and
in your straight path we may not stumble.
Through Jesus Christ our Lord,
~ Amen

The Collect for Grace

celtic prayer

I arise today
embraced in the arms
of God the Father,
empowered by the strength
of God the Spirit,
immersed in the love
of God the Son.
I arise today
in the company
of the Trinity.
Father, Spirit and Son,
I arise today.

~ John Birch

surrender

“All you know is that you are being led, being guided, being loved, being used, being prayed through – and you are no longer in the driver’s seat.”

Richard Rohr, The Naked Now

This is surrender. We don’t work our way into this place. We offer ourselves to it. We can put practices into place that remind us to surrender, remind us to open ourselves completely to God. Only in vulnerability and abandon can we create space for the Spirit to move and to transform us.

What does surrender look like to you? Consider making this quote into a prayer –

God –
I desire to be led, I want to be guided, I yearn to be loved, I chose to be used and I long to be prayed through. Continue to teach me how to get myself out of the way and stand amazed at Your work in and through me.

Photo by Helje http://www.flickr.com/photos/helje/4411190782/

walls

“…..Falling in love is as ordinary and normal as our breathing. But it is also always special. It is special because it wakes us up. It thrills us and hurts us and makes us conscious of being alive. It lets us know that no matter how dull and distracted our minds may have been, our hearts are wide awake.”
“…It happens as we wish yet always remains beyond our control. We know that love is beyond our control because it keeps hurting us. We would like to experience the joy and energy of love without being vulnerable to its pain, but there is no way to do that. To love is to care, to care is to give ourselves, and giving ourselves means being willing to be hurt.”
Gerald May, The Awakened Heart
Life is about living and feeling. It is about being able to take it all in. If we are afraid of being hurt, we will build a wall around our heart to protect it. But – if we are not willing to risk hurt, we cannot receive love.
Where, in your life, have you built walls to protect yourself? What has the cost been? Consider offering those places, where you have been hurt in the past, up to God so that you may begin letting love in. It is worth the risk.

Grace and peace ~
Deb

Photo by -spoon- http://www.flickr.com/photos/lchifi/231115148/

trust

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything
to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something
unknown, something new.

And yet it is the law of all progress
that is made by passing through
some stages of instability –
and that may take a very long time.
And so I think it is with you;
your ideas mature gradually – let them grow,
let them shape themselves without undue haste.
Don’t try to force them on,
as though you could be today what time
(that is to say, grace and circumstances
acting on your own good will)
will make of you tomorrow.
Only God can say what this new spirit
gradually forming within you will be.
Give our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you
And accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.
PierreTeilhard De Chardin

I so believe in the slow work of God. Both in my own life and in the lives of those I see for spiritual direction, God seems to work in a slow, meandering way. That isn’t to say it is not purposeful. He knows where He is leading you…where He is leading me. But that path is often obscured, veiled if you will.
Can you trust the ‘unknown’? Can you accept ‘the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete’? Can you trust in the slow work of God? What would look different in your life if you could relax into His movement in your life, no matter what the pace?
Grace and peace-
Deb

Photo by cuba gallery http://www.flickr.com/photos/cubagallery/5949819558/

nature

"God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars".
Martin Luther

Nature is revelation that speaks to us everyday of God and His love of beauty. It surrounds us. From the moment the sun rises in the morning and its brilliance drowns out the stars, His creativity is on display. Trees, animals, mountains, rivers, rocks, oceans, canyons, vistas, flowers, beaches, deserts, forests, plains, gorges, fish, birds, sun, moon and stars. Everyday there is an endless array of gifts for us to view, that reflect God.

Look for Him today in the created order.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by -yury- http://www.flickr.com/photos/yury-prokopenko/3722582543/

doors

“No one’s spiritual practice is exactly like anyone else’s. Life meets each of us where we need to be met, leading us to the doors with our names on them.”

Barbara Brown Taylor

I have been reflecting on this topic for some time now. I have been in conversations revolving around about how, when, and why God heals. It has made me consider what in my life I should ask healing for. I completely believe that God can heal. But, I also believe that He can and will teach me beautiful things in the midst of the difficulties. My trust and faith have not been diminished by the difficulties….in fact, I feel they have grown deeper.

For whatever reason, I am content to be at the door with my name on it. What door is God leading you to?
Grace and peace ~
Deb


Photo by John Faherty Photography
http://www.flickr.com/photos/johnfahertyphotography/2654949076/

cooperation

“The core task of all good spirituality is to teach us to “cooperate” with what God already wants to do and has already begun to do (Romans 8:28). In fact, nothing good would ever even enter our minds unless in the previous moment God had not already “moved” within us. We are always and forever seconding the motion.”

Richard Rohr

What do the shower, the few minutes before I fall asleep and the few moments when I am waking up have in common? Those seem to be prime times for me to hear God’s voice. Are those particularly active times for God or are they times when, for whatever reason, my intellect, my thinking, does not get in the way of what God wants to say? Ok…I know that saying God activity level has anything to do with my showering is just bad theology so we’ll just say the variable is on my end.

Whatever the reason, these seem to be the times when the puzzle pieces come together for me. There will be something I need to decide or pull together or figure out. I can make charts, lists, graphs, etc, with little to no progress. Then I can be falling asleep and “BAM”…there it is.

The past couple of weeks I have been struggling with a particular issue. I was being asked to do something that I felt pretty resistant to. I tried to do it but felt something was ‘off’. I kept trying to ‘figure it out’ to no avail. Then, as I was going to sleep, the reason became very clear. It made sense.

I am becoming more and more cognizant of the fact that these are times God speaks to me. And, it usually is revealed in a way that surprises and amazes me. I am trying to learn to lean into God when I have a decision to make or a situation to figure out. I need to remember that He initiates, and I respond. The more aware I can become of the fact that I am cooperating with God (and not the other way around) life becomes less tangled, less pressured.

Have something on your mind? A decision to make? A situation to work through? What would it be like to stop thinking about it, over and over, and offer it up to God, asking Him to speak when the time is right? You never know - it may make for some very interesting showers…..

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by jfpeck http://www.flickr.com/photos/44442915@N00/3035887375/

presence

“Spirituality is the sacred center of which all life comes, including Mondays and Tuesdays and rainy Saturday afternoons in all their mundane and glorious details.”

Christina Baldwin

God is everywhere and in everything. Every moment has something of Him in it. All we need to do is be aware and be looking for it.

He is not only found in those activities we see as ‘sacred’ but also in the mundane….the everyday tasks we do with out even thinking about. Brushing our teeth, making our bed, doing the dishes.

When we begin to see life through these eyes, everything is sacred. Celebrate the sacred in your life.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Andrew @ Cuba Gallery http://www.flickr.com/photos/cubagallery/6229389973/

serenity

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Sometimes this is really hard for me. I am getting better at accepting things I cannot change. And I am getting better at changing the things I can. Where I struggle, at times, is knowing the difference.

A friend of mine, Pastor John Stringer, explained it this way; he drew two concentric circles. Inside the smaller circle is ‘my responsibility’….the outer circle is labeled ‘my concern’. Whatever falls within the smaller circle are those things I have some control over. What falls in the outer circle are things that I care about but, ultimately, have little control over. When he shared this with me, it was evident that I had spent a lot of my time and energy focused on those things I have no control over.

Now, I try to take some time and assess where my energy needs to be expended. Is the situation that is bothering me something I can do anything about or is it out of my control? Once I sit down and take the time to think it through, I am better at letting go of those things I can’t change or move forward on the things I can impact.
Are there things in your life that you are frustrated by? Things you want to change but don’t seem to be able to? Maybe they are things you can’t change…you have no power to change. Consider weighing the circumstances by this standard…figure out what falls within your realm of responsibility and what falls within the area of your concern. If you can do something to change the situation, do it. If not, offer it up to God in prayer and ask Him to work as He chooses. These decisions will create an atmosphere of serenity in your life.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Erroba http://www.flickr.com/photos/erroba/2218528689/

fear

“Fear not that your life will come to an end…fear rather that it will never come to a beginning.”

Cardinal Newman

For many years, I lived my life in such a way as to avoid my fears. I’d only try things I felt I would succeed at. I wouldn’t fly (on two separate occasions I took a train across the country for three days – one way!). I would hear God speaking to me but I was like Moses….I was full of excuses about why I couldn’t do what he was asking me to do….why he must have had me confused with someone else.

Over ten years ago I heard God asking me to step out. To fly. Not metaphorically but literally. He was asking me to get on a plane and fly to Romania. Not Ohio, but Romania. The Romania that is over there across the ocean. The ocean….that place where you really can’t land a plane. But this time, I said ‘yes’. It was a big, fat, scary yes, but a yes all the same. It took prayer, friends, and Xanax to ‘git ‘er done’. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done but also one of the most life changing. That one decision opened up a world to me that I could have only imagined before. It helped shape the ministry God wanted me to be involved in and also impacted my confidence to say ‘yes’ to Him even when I doubt my own ability.

This past year, I said another big ‘yes’ to God. I sensed Him asking me to develop a new ministry. He has given me the vision and asked me to step out and develop it. I am not sure what the outcome will be but I said ‘yes’. Our doors opened in September. I recognize that this ministry is His…I’m only managing it for Him.

Are you living your life held back by fear? Do you sense God asking you to do something? What is holding you back? I invite you to give your fear to Jesus and trust Him to carry you through whatever He is calling you to do. Risk it. Consider living an outrageous life with Jesus. May your prayer be - "God - I want to trust you more than I don't want to believe in myself."

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Leelawadee http://www.flickr.com/photos/yaspal/2812709301/

dependance

“May all your expectations be frustrated. May all your plans be thwarted, that you may experience the powerlessness and poverty of a child and sing and dance in the love of God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.”


A prayer offered by a friend for Henri Nouwen

Complete dependence on God is what I want. I think about, I can even do it for a few moments at a time. Then I forget. Especially when things are going well. But, in those times when I feel as if things are out of control, my thoughts turn to God. Those times increase my dependence on Him. But I want more than just a ‘lifeboat’ mentality. I want to be fully aware of God’s presence and sovereignty in my life every day. May it begin today.

Grace and peace,
Deb

just breathe

We don’t need to be reminded to breathe,
but we can learn to be more conscious
of this precious gift of the breath of life.

Wherever you are,
and whatever you are doing,
take a minute to become aware of your own breathing.
Don’t change its rhythm, just notice it.
Just doing this will help you become more calm,
and refresh your perspective on life.
It will also become a relief to your body,
and may even reduce your blood pressure.

Now take it a step further:

Each time you breathe out,
consciously let go, or express, any anxiety or concerns
you may have.

Each time you breathe in,
breathe in the power and the love of God,
and the life of God’s creation,
which sustains you constantly,
whether you are aware of it or not.

Practice this rhythm for a few minutes
whenever you have an opportunity.
Return to it whenever you can
and especially whenever you are feeling stressed.

Margaret Silf
The Gift of Prayer

gifts

gifts ~
unexpected,
un-asked for,
appear out of nowhere.

You give to express
your love,
your concern,
your desire for me.

like a rose left on the doorstep.

feb 07

grace and peace,
deb

Photo by lia_ro21 http://www.flickr.com/photos/24117329@N06/2337218572/

waiting

“Waiting is certainly a kind of prayer, especially if you can stand howling, wide open spaces.”
Barbara Brown Taylor

Why is waiting so hard? I think it is because we realize, in the waiting, that we are not the one in control. It is a helpless place.

I have several friends in the midst of waiting right now. Waiting for medical results. Waiting for work situations to change. Waiting for husbands to come home. Waiting for a child to return. Waiting. Waiting can seem like a howling, wide open space where we can’t seem to find the boundaries, the edges. It feels too open, too spacious. It feels as if we might just get lost in the waiting, unable to find our way back.

Patience is always attached to waiting. It describes how we are waiting….or not. Are we pushing against the waiting or are we resting in the waiting? I think that might be what patience looks like….resting. Which, seems to come right back to trust.

Are you ‘waiting’? What are you waiting for? The test result? That phone call or email? That job offer? What would it look like to wait patiently? To trust in the waiting? To sense God’s loving arms wrapped around you in the middle of the howling, wide open space?

Consider praying not only for your situation but also for your waiting. Resist making the waiting a negative place but consider allowing the waiting to be a place of formation – the waiting itself a place of rest and trust.

Grace and peace –
Deb

sorrow

My heart aches for the burden you bear.
I cannot fathom its depths.
Pain untold as you witness your children languish in their own choices.
Sometimes I carry judgment ~
I want you to deal with it the way the way I would. Or would I?
How can I know how I would react?
I try to imagine but the pain of it keeps me from staying there.
If I am unable to even pretend how it feels,
how can I bring any judgment to you?

How can I love you?
How can I support you?
How can I be Jesus with skin on to you?
How can I invite myself into your pain, your world?
How can I truly be myself with you when I am in a place of blessing?
How can share my joy?

I think all I can do is leave you to the Father and ask Him to hold you – hold you in all your pain – the pain I am too frail to hold.
He knows….
how to love you,
how to support you,
how to be in your world of pain.
Because of Him I can try to enter in.
A poor substitute but He can cover my lack.
My hearts aches for the burden you bear.

Love,
deb

Photo by Venusienne http://www.flickr.com/photos/venusienne/240718655/

presence

day has come.
night releases her hold on the earth
and allows light to illuminate the land.
and so every 24 hours, a day that has never been before.

a new beginning.
a fresh start.
a chance to be present.
a chance to be real.
a chance to be open.
a chance to be.

i take this for granted.
i forget.
i move and do without thinking, automatic.

may i not waste today.
may i be present.
may i be real.
may i be open.
may i be.

Grace and peace,
Deb

awareness

“Man’s walled mind has no access to a ladder upon which he can, of his own strength, rise to knowledge of God. Yet his soul is endowed with translucent windows that open to the beyond.”
Abraham Heschel


God wants to be known by me. He wants to be pursued by me. He wants to be desired by me. He gives me ample opportunity to see Him. All I have to do is be aware of the ‘translucent windows’ that give me glimpses into His presence. It may be in the form of a rainbow or a sunset. It may be in the coo of a baby. It may be in the sweet smell of a springtime rain. It may be in the power of lightening or the quiet hush of a new snowfall. It may be in vibrant color of a tropical fish or in the majesty of a mountain. It may be in the beauty of the Word or in the soothing words of a friend.

The evidence is everywhere…I just need to be looking. I invite you to join me today in looking for Him, in all the different ways He reveals himself.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Ms Soccer_Roo http://www.flickr.com/photos/roosfotos/107299791/

solitude

“Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.”


Paul Tillich

Loneliness is epidemic in our world. We can feel lonely in a room full of people. We can feel so disconnected from others. We long for connection, for intimacy.

Solitude is rare in our world. It is a choice we make to create room in our spirits for God to dwell, to work. It is a place where we sit with God….a place to connect with Him and allow intimacy to develop.

Loneliness is inner emptiness.

Solitude is inner fulfillment.

Loneliness is pain.

Solitude is glory.

Loneliness is a place of hollowness.

Solitude is a place of formation.

I invite you to spend some time today in solitude, asking God to create a place of formation inside of you where your relationship with him may deepen and grow.

Grace and Peace,
Deb


Photo by Eldho Nasrani http://www.flickr.com/photos/49572524@N06/4555863120/

choice

“The ancient tension between judgment and mercy is found everywhere in the world. While we may experience it most immediately in our own minds and hearts, this tension informs our medical systems, our political ideologies, even our religious beliefs. If people are basically bad, then they will need to be fixed, shaped, purged of sin, and punished. If, on the other hand, people are essentially good, then we need to be nourished, supported, encouraged, and taught.”

Wayne Muller

What would a shift in my perspective change? What if I were more prone to extend mercy than to pronounce judgment?

When I consider these two ways of approaching life, approaching people – mercy and judgment – I think of Jesus and the Pharisees. The Pharisees were concerned only with the law. They were experts on judgment. Jesus was about drawing out the best in people, helping them see themselves the way He saw them, especially those who were looked on with disdain by the religious elite. He was an expert on mercy. Did he pronounce judgment? Yes – usually on the Pharisees.

Christians have a reputation for being judgmental. I wonder how many times I have contributed to that perception. My deep desire is to be more like Jesus. That means being less judgmental and more merciful. And not just in my behavior or my speech but in my thoughts….yeah – that’s the really hard part. What I know for sure is that I will be given a chance to choose today – judgment or mercy. Please God – let it be mercy.

Grace and peace –
Deb

photo by creativelenna http://www.flickr.com/photos/creativelenna/4388308190/

listen

Life is chaotic.
It’s loud and constantly moving.
No time alone.
No space.
No intentionality.
Just moving from thing to thing….task to task.
Keep moving.
Don’t stop.
It may pass you by.
The world may fall off its axis.

What? Be still?
Learn to listen?
Why?
God’s voice?
Afraid of what I might hear…
condemnation,
fear,
shame,
rejection….
But…what if…
He wants to speak something different into my life….
like love,
acceptance
forgiveness
peace,
joy,
value.
That is what He is offering.

I only need to listen….
Listen and accept.
Be still,
listen
and
hear.




Photo by Maggie Buenoventura http://www.flickr.com/photos/maggybuenaventura/3286761575/

shadows

Life is full of contradictions. There are these completely beautiful moments and then, before I know it, there is a shadow over it all. I live in a fallen world and part of that is my own brokenness. That causes shadows to fall over the things that bring me joy. I am, usually, caught off guard by my shadows. Then, there are other people’s shadows that fall over me, too.

Although I never want to become complacent with shadows, I need to understand that until I am with Him face to face…there will be shadows.

When shadows fall over certain aspects in your life, take the time to breathe and look for God in the midst of the shadow. Where is He? How is He speaking to you? Do you trust Him to redeem the shadow?

Shadows may…no, shadows WILL fall on your life. But know that God is as present in the shadows as He is in the sunshine.

Grace and peace,
Deb

photo by Engineer J http://www.flickr.com/photos/junaidrashid/430361360/

creation

"God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars".
Martin Luther

Nature is revelation that speaks to us everyday of God and His love of beauty. It surrounds us. From the moment the sun rises in the morning and its brilliance drowns out the stars, His creativity is on display. Trees, animals, mountains, rivers, rocks, oceans, canyons, vistas, flowers, beaches, deserts, forests, plains, gorges, fish, birds, sun, moon and stars. Everyday there is an endless array of gifts for us to view, that reflect God.

Look for Him today in the created order.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by CubaGallery http://www.flickr.com/photos/cubagallery/4678462424/

prayer

Prayer as conversation with God can be deeply fulfilling. However if it is the only form our prayer takes, we may begin to sense that something is missing. There are two reasons for this. First, prayer is by nature, more than conversation. To limit its concept to dialogue is to allow some of the most profound expressions of prayer to escape our notice. Second, our ‘conversation’, may, in practice, be less a dialogue than a monologue that borders on talking at God.

Marjorie Thompson

How is prayer for you? Is it more talking than listening? Is it a monologue rather than a dialogue?

Someone once said to me that prayer is ‘intimacy with Jesus’. I think I used to look at prayer as my ‘gimme’ list. I would see how things should be and let God know. Now I am listening much more than talking. I try to listen and hear God’s heart and then allow my prayers to rise from that place.

Listening prayer, in the beginning, is much harder than ‘talking’ prayer but the depth of the intimacy is rich.

May you fill your prayer time with silence so that you may hear His still, small voice.

Grace and peace,
Deb

photo by hjukkhj http://www.flickr.com/photos/41021644@N08/3829937658/