tension

“Joy and sadness are as close to each other as the splendid colored leaves of a New England fall to the soberness of the barren tress. Joy and sadness are born at the same time both arising from such deep places in your heart that you can’t find words to capture your complex emotions.”

Henry Nouwen

I can identify with this quote. There have been times in my life when I am so filled with joy that I cannot find the words to express it. The birth of my children, those sweet times of being a mom to little ones, having one of my teenagers come to me with a problem, seeing them marry people who loved them, gaining an awesome grandson the same day I gained a new daughter, the birth of my granddaughters and grandsons. Then there are the times I am merely sitting with someone and they begin to share their spiritual journey and tears come to my eyes as I listen to the beauty that God is working in their lives. That is joy.

Then there is the flip side…the sadness. I have also had the experience of feeling such overwhelming sadness that I thought it might consume me. At times, there are no words to express what I am feeling. It is experienced more as a physical sensation, an ache in my chest. There have been the obvious times…the death of my sister-in-law at the age of 16, a miscarriage, illness in my children, the loss of my father-in-law, watching my children, as adults, go through painful situations, the sadness of my own sin and the prolonged illness of my mom. There are also those times when I have such a sense of sadness and there is nothing that I can pinpoint in my life as the cause. I spend time with God asking Him what it might be that I am feeling sad about. I sense it is sadness over child abuse, the Sudan, poverty, etc….my heart can literally hurt over these things.

Joy and sadness. Both a part of life. Both are intense and both tell me I am alive. I want to embrace both, knowing that they are part of being human and knowing that God can hold all of it.

Embrace the joy and the pain in your life. Know that God will use all of it…to draw you closer to Him.

Peace,
Deb