contemplation

“…true contemplation is never a mere retreat. Instead, it draws us deeper into right action by getting us more deeply in touch with the gifts that we have to give, with our need to give them, with the people and problems that need us. “
Parker Palmer

There was a time when I couldn’t stand to be alone. I had to always have people around me. I couldn’t bear silence. To be left alone with my thoughts was a scary thing and I avoided it at all costs.

Now, I love ‘alone’ time. I don’t mind being by myself. In fact, I love it. And, although it is lovely having time alone with God, and it is an essential piece of my spiritual growth, the spiritual life is not meant to a solitary experience. Transformation is not only about what I sense God doing within me but about how I live out what God is doing within me. I need to allow time and space for God to speak into my life, clarifying the gifts and calling He has placed inside. I then need to discern how He wants me to use those gifts, and live out that calling in a way that draws others to Him.

Are you creating space to give God a chance to reveal the gifts He has given you? Do you know what calling He has placed in your heart? Do you know how He wants you offer that to the world?

Give yourself - and others - the gift of contemplation.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by r-z http://www.flickr.com/photos/r-z/3331724551/

becoming

“This life therefore, is not righteousness, but growth in righteousness, not health but healing, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it; the process is not yet finished but is going on. This is not the end but it is the road; all does not yet gleam in glory but all is being purified.”

Martin Luther

Our walk with God is a process. I think that sometimes we get impatient with ourselves, with others, because we think we should have ‘arrived’ by now. Spend some time dissecting this quote today and consider:

Do you expect complete righteousness or do you know that you are growing in righteousness?

Do you expect complete mental and spiritual health or do you see that, day by day, you are healing?

Do you know that you are not yet who you will be but you are growing towards it?

This is a wonderful journey you are on. Everyday moves you closer to who God designed you to be, if you are aware and moving in concert with Him. Celebrate who you are ‘becoming.’

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by slumberingheart http://www.flickr.com/photos/slumberingheart/4788387981/

need rest?

And so let me let you hold me
when I have come to the place
beyond the willingness to labor
beyond anything but the longing
for rest.
Let my emptiness be emptiness
till it reveals to me your face,
and let my weariness be weariness
till it prompts me to your rest.
Then may I know the healing
of slumber
and the possibility of dreams;
Then may I greet the dawn and
take up my work again.

Jan Richardson

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Prakhar http://www.flickr.com/photos/prakhar/443874838/

guidance

“Whoever is his own spiritual director has a fool for a director.”
Early Church Father

Spiritual direction is a spiritual practice that helps you pay close attention to the movement of God in your life. You normally meet once a month with someone trained in the art of direction and through careful listening and gentle questions they help you discern what God may be doing. Many times, we can miss the subtle signs of the Spirit’s prompting. We can miss the ways the dots connect. We can forget how much God loves us. We can breeze past the corrections God is inviting us to make, justifying our behavior. We can come to the place where we think we have it all together.

We love to talk of the importance of Christian community but by that we usually mean a social community. Often that doesn’t translate to inviting people to peer into our dark places and ask questions that reveal truth and breathe life.
Who does that for you? Who forgoes advice-giving, counseling and opinion sharing with you for attentive listening, giving you the space to discern God’s still small voice?

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Joe Houghton http://www.flickr.com/photos/joehoughton/4518280224/

mountains and valleys

God of making
and unmaking,
of tearing down
and re-creating,
You are my home
and habitation,
my refuge
and place of dwelling.

In your hollows
I am re-formed,
given welcome
and benediction,
beckoned to rest
and rise again,
made ready
and sent forth.

Jan Richardson

My life in Jesus has been full of ups and downs. I have never had such incredible highs! Wonderful memories of life-changing mission trips, worshipping with new friends, in their own language while tears streamed down my face. Seeing my children baptized. Seeing them marry spouses who love them. Seeing my grandchildren grow. Having a new, beautiful relationship with my mom. Experiencing changes in my own spiritual walk which have resulted in deeper intimacy. These are the mountains.

Then there are the valleys. A challenging childhood. The death of my sister-in-law. Losing one of my children to miscarriage. Going through a deeply hurtful church experience. Struggling in my marriage. Going through the divorce of my parents. Experiencing illness; mine, my husband’s, my children’s. Seeing my children go through painful things. Walking with friends through tough times.

I trust God. I trust that He knows what is best for me and I know that he has been with me through all the mountains and valleys. He has a plan for me and it includes all of the above. My painful experiences have played a big part in making me who I am. He is present in all of it.


May you spend some time today reflecting on your experiences, both good and difficult, and notice where God was at work.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by jonicdao http://www.flickr.com/photos/jonicdao/3450267640/

prayer

“Usually prayer is question of groaning rather than speaking, tears rather than words. For he sets our tears in his sight, and our groaning is not hidden from Him who made all things by His Word and does not ask for words of man.”
Augustine

Prayer should not be a list of “I want”s. Although there may be rare times that I tell God what is on my heart and mind, I feel more and more that I am being called into a time of intimacy with Jesus…not a time of talking but a time of being. A time where I surrender my agenda and my wants to Him. A time where I even surrender my need to be in control of my words. I rest in His presence and allow the Spirit to form prayer within me.

The question is not what it is that I want to pray about but what it is that God wants me to lift up to Him. I can only do that if I get myself out of the way. And be willing to not know what it is.

Sometimes that shows itself as silence. And sometimes, without knowing why, tears flow. I don’t question that any longer, trying to figure what it is about. I trust that it is my response to God and that if He wants to understand what it is, He will give that to me.

Consider spending some time today just being with God. Offer up your desire to let Him form the prayer within you. Even if you have no idea what you are praying, know that the Spirit does. Trust the prayer that has no words, that may even bring tears. Trust.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by khrawlings http://www.flickr.com/photos/khrawlings/3806195170/

change

“God is always changing the way I think of Him. I am not saying that God Himself is changing, or that my theology is one and I blur the lines on truth; I am only saying I think I know who He is and then I figure out I don’t know very much at all.”
Donald Miller

Have you ever felt this way? Felt like you had God all figured out? I have. There was a time in my life that I thought I had the whole thing figured out. God, me, life.

Now? I am somewhat closer to figuring me out. Not that there still isn’t a lot to understand but I can be patient. I can only absorb so much self-knowledge at a time. :0)

I’m kinda getting life figured out. It’s hard with places of beauty thrown in (at least that is my perspective today).

Now, about God. I am not even close. What I know is that I will never know the whole of who He is. He is mystery. What He has revealed to me is that He loves me like no one ever has or ever will. He knows what is best for me. He wants to see me be who He designed me to be. And He loves it when I can trust Him even though I am still on a daily discovery of knowing more of Him.

My theology isn’t open, except to what God wants to speak into it. He is always changing the way I think of Him. Is God the same to you today as He was 5 years ago? If so, ask Him to allow you to see something new, something fresh. It isn’t Him that is changing but your perception of Him. Open your heart and your mind.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Athena's Pix http://www.flickr.com/photos/23045224@N04/2761217946/

waiting

I have talked with some individuals about their mission trip to Guatemala. They were there to work in a medical clinic in a village. They told me that there was a very long line of people waiting to be seen by the American doctors. They waited and they waited and they waited. Many of them were not even seen that day and came back the next day to wait again. Whenever one of the team members would walk by the line, the villagers would smile at them. There was no grumbling, no frustration…just patient waiting.

It’s hard for me to imagine what that kind of ‘still’ waiting is like. I become impatient waiting for a red light to change or waiting in line at the grocery store.

We view waiting as an inconvenience at best and at worse, as a painful lack of results. We look and look for a way out of the waiting. We want whatever is coming, to arrive.

I think God wants us to wait like the Guatemalans. Quietly, expectantly, still. Knowing that He has something meaningful for us at the end of the waiting.


“Still” waiting….meaning not only do we remain 'waiting'...we are doing it contently.
May you find peace in the waiting. May you be still and may you look for God in the midst of the not yet.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by 807MDSC http://www.flickr.com/photos/807thpao/4712030392/

spa for the soul - meditating

“Through meditating we explore in order to know more and more of Abba. Before we find this reality, we only BELIEVE; through experiencing a relationship, we come to KNOW.”

Morton Kelsey

To know someone, I need to spend time with them. I need to talk to them and I need to listen. The more I know them, the less I need to depend on words. I have a couple of people in my life who can just look at me and know what I am feeling. There is no need to explain myself in great detail. I am known by them.

It is that way with God. In the beginning of my relationship with him I talked…a lot. Now I talk less and listen more. There is more of a comfort level there…more of a ‘knowing’. I am learning to rest in the fact that He loves me.

Considering meditating, reflecting, pondering on who He is. Meditate on His love and His presence. Ask for nothing more than to know Him and be known by Him.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Salvadonica, Chianti Tuscany
http://www.flickr.com/photos/salvadonica/5143752182/

solitude

"Solitude: the creation of an open, empty space in our lives by purposely abstaining from interaction with other human beings so that, freed from competing loyalties, we can be found by God."

The Life With God Bible

Spend some time with this quote today and notice how God may want to speak to you through it.

grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by ManojVasanth http://www.flickr.com/photos/manojvasanth/3650554596/

transformation

"Most transformation takes place in hidden ways, in slow, incremental ways, nurtured by a cultivated reverence."

Eugene Peterson

Do you get discouraged with the lack of transformation in your life? Do you find yourself trying to memorize more scripture, pray harder and serve more?

What if transformation is really more God's work than yours? What if your part of to be present, to pay attention, to notice what God may be doing? What if transformation is already taking place under the surface and what you need to do is prepare a space within yourself for God to work?

Remember...it takes place in hidden ways, in slow, incremental ways....nurture it.

grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Mrs. Logic http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrs_logic/5061285019/

legacy

“There is a strange charm in the hope of a good legacy that wonderfully reduces the sorrow people otherwise may feel for the death of their relatives and friends”
Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

Yesterday I attended the funeral of someone I had never met. I went because his son is a good friend of mine. I went to support my friend. I left thinking deeply about ’legacy’.

This service was not a mournful time. Although there were tears, there was an atmosphere of celebration. It began with the pastor doing a lovely stand-up comedy routine…I kid you not. You could tell that the pastor had a playful relationship with this beloved man and that there was a deep affection between them. He spoke from a place of knowing – he even choked up several times, which revealed his own personal sense of loss.

The family took turns speaking about the legacy Mr. Carpenter left – as a husband, a dad, a grandfather and a great grandfather - a legacy of faith, of loyalty, of service and most of all, of love. He impacted those he came into contact with deeply and His love of God and family permeated everything he did.
At the end of the service, the pastor said that someone had sent a taped message because they couldn’t be there. It was Mr. Carpenter. He started with taking some playful jabs at the pastor and then went on to tell his family how much they meant to him. He also said that if they were listening to this tape, he was with Jesus…and that was right where he wanted to be. It was a beautiful way to end his celebration service.

I never met Mr. Carpenter, but I am fortunate enough to have members of his family in my life. When I am with Gordon, his son, I know I am seeing and engaging in the legacy that his father, Henry, left.

I pray that I might leave such a legacy…that my family and friends might say that I loved well, that I cared deeply about people, that I loved my God, that I was generous with both my compliments and my encouragement, and that I left the world a little bit better by being a part of it.

Well done, Mr. Carpenter. Thank you for the gift that you gave that touched those of us who didn’t even know you personally. Your legacy indeed does live on.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Meagan

community

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
C.S. Lewis

A few weeks ago, I was at a residency for my master's program. I am in a cohort with five other individuals. Part of our time together is an intentional sharing what is happening in our lives. We shared deeply with each other...our fears, our sins, our joys.

What we discovered is that we are much more alike than we are different. We are not alone in our 'stuff'. Everyone has stuff - we just usually don't talk about it with each other.

But, once you do, you will notice how much less powerful that stuff seems to be. Take the risk....talk about what is going on. Be honest and notice how freeing it can be.

Grace and peace,
Deb

only God

God's Aid

God to enfold me,
God to surround me,
God in my speaking,
God in my thinking.

God in my sleeping,
God in my waking,
God in my watching,
God in my hoping.

God in my life,
God in my lips,
God in my hands,
God in my heart.

God in my sufficing,
God in my slumber
God in mine ever living soul,
God in mine eternity.

Celtic Prayer

Photo by Ani Carrington http://www.flickr.com/photos/35506817@N00/2241988669/

hope

The East is getting out her gold
She holds it out against the night
and scatters darkness
with her light.
Then morning comes
climbing over the hill
like an eager, restless child.
She pauses just a moment
then cast her color on the earth.

Morning, color me bright
I’ve been afraid too long
The color of fear is dark
darker than night
But your glance is full of light.

Don’t hurry morning;
come slowly.
Dress yourself in light.
Climb over that hill lovingly
Hand me a new day hopefully
Get into my bloodstream, and
color me like the rising sun
slowly
I’ve a mind to be contagious
Color me bright.


Macrina Wiederkehr

Photo by SANDEEP http://www.flickr.com/photos/saneepix/5061216906/

waiting

I am in a season of waiting. Some of that waiting requires me to let go, perhaps even be stripped bare of things that form my identity. Whatever God wants to strip away, whatever will move me closer to Him and closer to what He has for me, I am willing to surrender to that process.

Slowly,
she celebrated the sacrament of letting go
first she surrendered her green
then the orange, yellow and red
finally she let of her brown
shedding her last leaf
she stood empty and silent, stripped bare.
leaning against the winter sky
she began her vigil of trust.

Shedding her last leaf
she watched its journey to the ground.
she stood in silence
wearing the color of the emptiness,
her branches wondering:
how do you give shade with so much gone?
And then,
the sacrament of waiting began.
The sunrise and sunset watched with tenderness.
clothing her with silhouettes
they kept her hope alive.

They helped her understand that
her vulnerability
her dependence and need
her emptiness
her readiness to receive
were giving her a new kind of beauty.
Every morning and every evening
they stood in silence
and celebrated together
the sacrament of waiting!

Macrina Wiederkehr

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by mythlady http://www.flickr.com/photos/mythlady/5262110048/

prayer

"Prayer is the inner bath of love into which the soul plunges itself."
Saint John Vianney


Do you see prayer like this? Or do you see it as a list of things and concerns you need to talk to God about? Intercession is a form of prayer, but there is so much more to this intimate act. Prayer is our love language with our God.

Allow yourself to soak in God’s love today during a time of prayer.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Nicholas Kennedy Sitton
http://www.flickr.com/photos/nicholaskennedy/3653257440/

awareness

“Our ability to change is limited to the present moment. We can only affect this moment and hope it affects all the others.”
Margaret Becker

How true this statement is! And how many times I find myself living in the past. I fret about things I’ve done, or haven’t done. Did I do a good job with this? Did I make a mistake with that?

I also think a lot about the future. Where will I be one year from now? Should I do this or should I do that?

Sometimes, I find myself being in the present. It is something I am trying to practice more. No matter what I am doing, I want to be fully present to it. Because, if I live in the past or in the future, I am missing now. And now, right now, is really all I have. And, it's true - what choice I make in the moment truly does affect other moments in the future.

Point being, I don’t want to miss my present because I am wrapped up in what has been or what might be. Now is what I have. Now is what you have.

What is consuming your thoughts? The past? The future? What would it be like to work towards being fully engaged with right now?

Consider trying, today, to be present. Pay attention to what you notice. Thank God for today, for this hour, for this minute, for this moment.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by hokkey http://www.flickr.com/photos/hokkey/323730317/

sabbath

“Sabbath is the holy time where we feast, play, dance, sing, pray, laugh, tell stories, read, paint, walk and watch creation in its fullness. Few people are willing to enter the Sabbath and sanctify it, to make it holy, because a full day of delight and joy is more than most people can bear in a lifetime, let alone a week.”

Dan Allendar


What do you think of when you think of keeping the Sabbath? Sitting around all day praying? Have you ever thought of it as a time to feast, play, dance, sing, pray, laugh, tell stories, read, paint, walk and watch creation in its fullness? What about napping, going to an art museum or concert, making love, holding a baby or playing with your dog? What brings smile to your face? What makes your heart skip a beat? When do you feel most alive?


Think on these questions and enjoy planning your Sabbath day.


Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by smip.co.uk http://www.flickr.com/photos/biscuitsmlp/3098217675/

music

"Bach gave us God’s word, Mozart God's laughter and Beethoven gave us God's fire, and God gave us music so that we can pray without words." —

written in front of an old German opera house

Why is it that music can speak directly to our hearts? A song can easily take us back to a time in high school (good or bad!). It can evoke memories of a loved one who has passed away. It can bring up painful feelings of a broken relationship. It can remind us of childhood.


As a child, my mom loved country music. I can hear Loretta Lynn or Hank Williams Jr. sing, and once again, I am a 5 year old who is supposed to be taking an afternoon nap. I can picture my bed, the color of my bedroom walls and the sounds outside my window.


Somewhere Over the Rainbow reminds me of that one exciting night a year, as a child, when I would settle in for the annual viewing of The Wizard of Oz. The music that plays during the flying monkey scene still gives me chills!


The theme song, Tomorrow, from the Broadway play, Annie, was sung by my 16 year old sister-in-law a month before she was killed in a car accident. I cannot hear that song without feeling the loss of Lisa in my life.


Music can move me in ways that mere words cannot. I am thankful that God wired me in such a way that music is connected to my memory and my emotions. It can help me remember pivotal times in my life.


Give thought today to some of the songs that hold memories and emotion for you, whether those are feelings of pain or joy. Consider thanking God for the role music may play in your life….and go listen to a song that makes your heart sing.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Shermeee http://www.flickr.com/photos/smanography/3220422264/

push

Have you ever sensed that God has given you a vision of what He might have in store for you? You can see bits and pieces but not the whole. You wonder what it is that you are to be doing…what is your part in making the vision come to be.

I am in such a place in my life. I sense there is something coming but I can’t quite see the whole. I’ve been asking questions like, “God….what do you want me to do?”, or “What is the next step?” I’ve stressed over making the ‘right’ decisions or trying to make the pieces fit together.

A while ago when I was journaling about this, I remembered the story of Sarah and Abraham. God had promised them a child. But, she couldn’t see HOW it would come about. She was too old to conceive. They had been waiting for a very long time and she had no idea when it would happen. As she tried to put her pieces together, she came up with the plan which was to have Hagar sleep with Abraham in order to have a child. Maybe that’s what God had in mind! Sarah pushed into the vision, the promise and found a way, her way, to make it happen. What a hot mess that turned out to be.

I have been trying to discern what God is leading me towards. I have know what it is but have no idea how it might happen. I think, in some ways, I can be like Sarah. I can try to figure out how God will do what seems out of reach for me. I can work all the angles and then realize I am looking for my Hagar. I am trying to make it happen.

I don’t want to do this. I want to trust what God has laid on my heart and then wait and watch to see how He will bring it about. It doesn’t mean that I won’t move when He says move but it does mean that I will wait for Him to set the pace. No pushing, no straining, to figure things out. If it is what He wants, then I know I will see it when He brings it into focus.

What dreams or visions has He given to you? What is it like in the waiting? Are you pushing….or observing? Consider spending some time with God today paying attention to what He might be showing you and how you might be responding to it.

Grace and peace,
Deb

photo by Elsie esq. http://www.flickr.com/photos/elsie/18565612/

light

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
Elizabeth Kubler Ross

I love this quote. Isn't it true? How many of us find it easy to shine when all is going well? But, when the tough times of life close in and it feels dark all around, do we still shine...or does the light go out? I think that depends on what your source of light is.

Consider some times in the recent past when life has been tough. Do you think others have been able to see The Light shining in and through you?

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by cwwycoff1 http://www.flickr.com/photos/carlwwycoff/3931930128/

fresh start

"You may have a fresh start any moment you choose for this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down."
Mary Pickford

Do you ever feel like not trying anymore? You try and try and try and feel as if it will never work. Just put your 'thing' in the blank. "I am so sick of always _______________ and having it always______________________." Or - "I've done _______________so many times and nothing changes."

The easier thing would be to stop trying. But, that is 'staying down'and that is not what God has for us.

I love the reminder that we can have a fresh start at any moment....if we choose it.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by FreeWine http://www.flickr.com/photos/freewine/478332550/

glory

"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell."
C.S. Lewis

Why do you think we get so bent if someone we know refuses to acknowledge the reality of God? Or if they refuse to live the way we think they should? Does it change God? No.

Nothing diminishes God.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by nattu http://www.flickr.com/photos/nattu/3154504765/

invitation

“The one worrying thing was that I might not be given time to carry out the whole scheme. I felt as though I was about to fill a space in the world that was meant for me and had long awaited me, a mold, as it were, made for me alone, but discerned by me only in this very moment. I was a molten substance, impatient, unendurably impatient, to pour into my mold, to fill it full, without any air bubbles or cracks, before I cooled and stiffened.

Later the true significance of what happened would inevitably become clear to me, and I would be numb with surprise.”

Alexander Solzhenitsyn

I have lived this. The last four years have been amazing. I have felt invited to ‘fill a space’. At first, it took me time to really believe that the invitation was for me. You know – someone says “You – I pick you”, and you are looking behind you because you are sure they must be talking to someone behind you. But, there is no one behind you. So, you look at them and say “Are you talking to me?” minus the Robert De Niro accent. You stand back and wait for them to say “Oh yeah, sorry – I had you confused with someone else”, but they don’t. It is you.

When you realize the invitation is for you, you either say ‘Great!’ or you say, “I am not sure I can do it”. I think it is called the Moses syndrome. I had Moses syndrome. It seemed clear God was inviting me to fill a particular space but I wasn’t sure I was up to the task….like he didn’t already know whether or not I could do it.
Slowly, I came to trust God’s judgment over my own and walk into His invitation. Once I accepted it, I continued to listen and discern the next right step.

The line I most resonate with in this quote is, “…I would be numb with surprise.” It has been an incredible journey and I feel as if it is only beginning. He continues to invite through a variety of avenues and I continue to accept. Each time, I am numb with surprise.

What might God be inviting you today? What space in the world might He be asking you to fill? Will you say yes? He knows you and knows what you were made for. Trust Him and go fill your space in the world.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Siyapath http://www.flickr.com/photos/23913854@N02/3751152485/

reflecting

further examination


I can move through my days and not pay attention to what has happened. If I am not intentional, I will miss what God is saying to me. One tool that has helped me pay attention is taking time at the end of my day to look over the day with the help of God. I think back through the events of the day; what significant things happened, what significant conversations did I have, places where I sensed God’s grace, places where I sensed God’s correction, and things I wished I would have done differently. I run it back as if it were a movie. Looking at it under God’s gentle gaze I can feel safe to examine all parts of my day and ask God what he wants me to notice.

It can be a very valuable tool in deepening of awareness of God’s work in our lives and also how He wants us to respond to him. I invite you to try it tonight. It would be a wonderful way to begin the New Year and a great habit to practice throughout 2011.

Have a blessed day,
Deb

Photo by Dailylifeofmojo http://www.flickr.com/photos/dailylifeofmojo/2986910735/