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Friday, July 31, 2009

new creature



I had a conversation with a friend today. We talked about some really, really hard things in her past and how they are impacting her now. She has tried to just ‘forget it” and move on. But that never works in the long term.

I’ve had other friends who have struggled with similar issues. I think one of the hardest things is once one comes to Jesus they think He will take it all away…all the pain, all the memories, everything. I think it is that ‘new creature’ thing. Old creature yesterday, new creature today.

I know, from my own past experience, that continuing to carry pain from the past stole energy and joy from my life. It kept me from being who God wanted me to be. Obviously, I wanted God to just remove it, so I could get on with doing His will. What I realized was that there was beauty held within those ashes. I just couldn’t see it because I was so intent on pretending it wasn't there, pretending it wasn’t a problem for me. But my life circumstances would say something different. There was a lack of freedom, a lack of living life wholly.

I laid down my weapons and my armor and went in to counseling. I shared honestly about my childhood and I also shared about how I saw that past impacting my present and possibly, my future. It was a difficult process – like cleaning out a wound that had become infected, but the poison was coming out. And out in the open it wasn’t as toxic as it had been held inside. It lost its power over me and I found myself freed to become more of the woman, the wife and the mom God wanted me to be.

For those of you struggling with issues from the past, give yourself the gift of counseling to work through it. Jesus wants to meet you in the midst of your pain. He wants to show you that He can carry you through it…not around it but through it. It requires courage and trust. I invite you to experience that outrageous trust as you pursue new life…to discover that God is powerful enough to heal you…that you can be becoming a new creature through the process.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Thursday, July 30, 2009

dark places


Why must holy places be dark places?

C.S. Lewis

This quote speaks to the mystery of how God works in the midst of tough times. As I look back on my life, I grew the most in my faith when I went through dark times. One of the most significant was when my son was 3 years old. He got sick, very sick. And we weren’t sure what was wrong. It took over two weeks of hospital tests, 4 days in the intensive care unit, and poking and prodding by doctors to get a diagnosis. I had a six month old at home, that I was breastfeeding, who I was leaving at 6 am in the morning and returning to at 11 pm at night.

He was so sick that I wasn’t sure he would be coming home. I needed to be near the hospital he was in, which meant I was not home…I and my daughter were staying with my parents. I was separated from my church family, my husband was in another state working, and I remember feeling very alone.

I remember one night sitting at the bottom of my parents’ driveway in my car after a long day at the hospital. I was pounding my fists on the dashboard, yelling and telling God that if He wanted to get my attention, then do something to me and not to my toddler. I vented all my frustration and finally, went to the house and upstairs, to fall in to my old childhood bed. As I lay there waiting for sleep to overtake me, I realized that I had given everything over to God…everything except my children. When the reality of this hit me, I immediately asked God to forgive me. I thanked him for the privilege of having Mark for three years and said that if He wanted to take him, I released him (not that He needed my permission but I wanted Him to know that I was recognizing His sovereignty). I also remember asking for the grace that I would need should Mark die. I cried and cried but this time it was from release…even facing the possibility that I could lose him, I knew that I could rest in whatever God had in store for me.

That was a crucial lesson in my Christian walk…in learning to trust…trust whatever God had in store for me…trust that He could see me through.

Mark recovered and I am so thankful that I continue to have the privilege of parenting him. But, tough times still come into my life. Sometimes fear is still my first instinct but in time, I can look for God’s presence in the midst of the difficulty. And what a calming presence it is.

Are you going through a tough time? Are you gripped by fear of what the future holds? Do you find yourself questioning God and the plan He has for you? I invite you to spend some time today reflecting on the sovereignty of God…knowing that He holds you in the palm of His hand and that nothing can touch you that He cannot use for your good. May you sense His peace in a deep way today.
Grace and Peace,
Deb

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

plans


When the angel appeared to Mary to tell her that God wanted her to carry and bear His son, Mary’s reply was:

"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said."


Can you imagine a life so sold out to God that whatever He asked, whatever happened, you would say, “May it be to me as you have said.”

How many of us are sold out to God like that? I am thinking about the times when something came into my life I didn’t expect, and my first thought was why me? Why now? What’s next? This was not in my 4 year plan!

I doubt that having a child out of wedlock, bringing shame upon her family and her betrothed was in Mary’s 4 year plan. I think she dreamed of a typical Jewish engagement, a typical Jewish wedding ceremony, time with just her and her husband.

But, an angel comes to her and says that God has chosen her…that she will be impregnated by the Holy Spirit. Wow. I doubt my first impression would be to say…"As you wish". I think I would say, “Right now? Ummm, could I have a couple of days to think it over? You know, if we wait a few months, I’ll already be married and this could be a lot less messy. Or maybe you could fly over to my parents bedroom and then stop by Joseph’s house to fill them in on the plan. Wait….could you tell me how this will work out? I know you might not know, but you could sure ask the One who does. That way I could make an intelligent decision about whether or not to say yes.”

Yep…that sounds like something I would say to an angel.

But Mary? No. She trusted God. She said yes. She didn’t know how it would end, she couldn’t see that pain that was part of the plan. She just said yes.

I want to respond to God more like Mary. I want to welcome whatever He has for me, whatever the plan is.

I invite you to think about how you are responding to God. Are you holding back? Do you want to ask 20 questions? Or are you beginning to rest in His love and trusting what He wants for you? Share your thoughts with God today. Be honest with Him about how you desire to respond. Relax into His love.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

true love


I wonder what would happen if I truly believed that Jesus loved me without measure. You may think it strange that I would even think such a thought, but I have a reason. I know, intellectually that Jesus does love me beyond what I will ever be able to comprehend. But living in that truth, day in and day out, is a different matter. I am able to grasp it for fleeting moments, like holding water in my hands.

I think part of it is living in a fallen world. I don’t think I can ever fully understand the depth of His love for me because everything runs through my corrupted grid. Even though it has been renewed because of my love for God, it is still part of this broken world. Then there is the fact that I’ve never experienced a pure love. I have had the privilege of being love deeply by some of the people in my life but I have also been on the receiving end of manipulative and damaging “love” and so it is hard to have a vision of what God’s love for me really looks like.

I want to live into it….I want to rest completely in it. I try to think what would be different if I did. How would I treat others? How would I treat myself? How would I view difficulties and losses? How would I see my blessings?

I think I can start by allowing myself to think about this every morning. To say it to myself and to reflect on it…and to ask God to move it deeply into my heart. I think that is a prayer that He would love to answer.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Monday, July 27, 2009

spa for the soul - journaling


The other day,a friend of mine allowed me to read her journal. Do you have any idea what a rare privilege that is? To have someone let you know about something they wrote in their journal is amazing, but for them to allow you to read their intimate thoughts with God is a beautiful and trustful act.

Although I won’t tell you what she wrote I do want to share with you how she wrote. She had something she wanted to share with God so she began a dialogue. She would write a line and then God would answer her. God would say something and my friend would respond. It was a rich and lovely communication between a woman and her Lord. It was deep and it was revealing. It made me want to come home and have a written conversation with Jesus.

If you’ve never tried journaling, I invite you to try it. It is a powerful way to learn more about yourself, more about you and your relationship with God and more about Him. If you already journal, take it to another level. Try having a conversation with Him…ask yourself…ask Him hard questions and don’t try to force the answers…just let them evolve. Invite God to speak to you through the pages of your journal.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Sunday, July 26, 2009

sabbath


No post today ~ enjoy your sabbath

Saturday, July 25, 2009

love


“No account of Christian spirituality is complete if it fails to give a central place to love. God is love. He has poured this love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5). Offering us his love, he desires that we become like him - great lovers.”

David Benner

This is a hard quote for me. I use to think that the sign of a really spiritual person was how much scripture they had memorized. I am coming to believe the true sign of someone who loves Jesus and is devoted to him has less to do with what you know and everything to do with how you love. This is not good news for me. Why? Because I struggle with this.

It’s easy to love those I choose to love. Do you know what I mean? It is those people who I like. I am willing to give grace…I desire to work through things….I find a way because I want to maintain and grow these relationships.

But then there are people that are difficult for me to love…or even like. They may do things differently than I do, they may criticize, they may hurt people I love. When I begin to feel justified in my feelings about someone, I am brought back to what God calls me to and that is love. In fact, when I am in trying to make a decision between what I think I want to do or say and what I feel God wants me to do or say, I ask myself a question… “What would love do?” That makes it pretty simple. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t times when I need to say tough things to others or even put up some boundaries to protect my self and those I love from harmful people – but even in those times I need to do it in a way that honors God.

Do you have people in your life that you find hard to love? Do you think you’ve built up walls or justified reasons why it’s ok not to love? If so, I ask you to consider today what response God might be calling you to…consider asking the question – “What would love do?”

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Friday, July 24, 2009

alien


"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”

C.S. Lewis

Do you ever feel like this? That you are an alien? That you are a foreigner in this land? I do. There are times when I am quite comfortable here. I like so many things about this world. I love my family. I love my friends. I love music. I love animals. I love food. I love visiting other countries. I love the oceans and the mountains and the desert. I love the seasons. I love flowers and I LOVE chocolate.

But there are other times…times when there is a dull ache inside of me. Times when I feel like my spirit is groaning, carrying the weight of living here under the fall. Times when I feel incomplete…when I feel like I am missing part of myself.

Then I have a reminder. The veil is parted for a moment and I get a glimpse of what is on the other side. It’s home! I see something that stirs my spirit and I remember where I came from and where I am going to. There is bittersweet mixture of extreme love, as I sense God in a different way, and there is also an extreme longing as I realize I am not home yet.

So…if you have one of those moments when you experience an ache inside that you can’t seem to put your finger on, maybe, just maybe, it is……….. homesickness.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Thursday, July 23, 2009

out of the ashes


“To be grateful for an unanswered prayer, to give thanks in a state of utter desolation, to trust in the love of God in the face of marvels, cruel circumstances, obscenities and commonplaces of life is to whisper a doxology in the darkness.”

Brennan Manning

I think parenting is the source of some of our sweetest moments and some of our deepest pains as human beings, especially as moms. I can remember vividly the two days I gave birth. The moment that tiny person was placed in my arms I had an entirely new definition of love. I knew that I would stand against anything that would threaten my child. I resolved to be the absolute best mom I could be. I wanted to love deeply, love in a way that allowed my child to know that, if the world seemed against them, I would be their safe place to fall. I wanted to teach them that Jesus loved them even more than I did. I wanted to tell them a life outside of Jesus would be empty and futile. I had hopes and plans and would daydream about what the future would look like.

For the most part, those dreams have come true for me. But….there were some scary times…times when I thought they might drift away. Sleepless nights, anxiety-filled days. Times when all I could think about was how they were doing. Would they be safe? Would they choose a life honoring to God? Would they want me to continue to be part of their lives?

I have a close friend who is living the nightmare. She has watched two of her children make very destructive choices…choices that will impact them for the rest of their lives. I have sat with her for hours watching her heart break. I ache for her. I have compassion for her. I have prayed for her.

Recently, although her children’s circumstances haven’t changed, her heart has. She still has deep pain but she is resting in God’s sovereignty. She has moved from asking “Why?” to saying, “Show me where to find You in this pain.” God has begun to answer that prayer. Her children are experiencing the consequences of their choices. But, she is trusting that God is in control although everything looks as if it has spun terribly out of control. She is…… whispering a doxology in the darkness.

Peace to you, my dear friend.

Love,
Deb

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

spider web


“God is everywhere. He is always with us – it’s just that we don’t always choose to participate in the relationship.’
Gary Moon

How much have I missed? I feel like a woman who has been in a coma for years and has just woke up. I seem so much more aware of God than I did a few years ago. Back then I knew a lot about God but I wasn’t aware of His presence. I knew that He was everywhere all of the time but I didn’t think to look for Him.

And, even though I am more aware of Him, I still have to remind myself to be looking for Him. I want to see Him in the design of the spider web covered with dew outside my window. I want to see Him in the conversation I have with my neighbor. I want to see Him in midst of the struggle I am having. He is everywhere and I don’t want to miss Him.

To be this aware, I need to be intentional. I need to sit quietly with Him, I need to remind myself that He is all around me, waiting to be seen, to get myself out of the way…it is a choice to be open to this reality.

Today, I invite you to take some time to ponder the truth that God is everywhere. I want to encourage you…encourage you to choose to participate in the relationship.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

busy


Recently, God has been speaking to me about busyness; about going from one thing to another. I’ve had to take a look at why I feel a need to be busy and I think it comes from insecurity. I think I feel as if I have something to prove…wanting others to see that I am worthy. Believing the lie that the busier I am, the more important I am.

I am thinking God wants me to look at why I need this affirmation…why isn’t what He thinks of me enough? I need to spend some time reflecting on this and discerning how He wants me to respond.

Sometimes, this is the result of sitting in silence with God. I hear things, if I am willing, that may not be what I want to hear but what I need to hear. My only desire is to be as close to Jesus as I can be and that means I need to look at the shadow side of my heart. God speaks to me about these things in a very gentle way. When I hear harsh messages I know they are either my own voice or the voice of the enemy. God only speaks to me with love.

I invite you to be willing to listen to God’s voice…no matter what He wants to say because He only wants what is best and He loves you more than you can imagine.

Blessings,
Deb

Monday, July 20, 2009

masks


Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.

James Arthur Baldwin

Masks….I have worn them all my life. I’ve worn them to protect myself. I’ve worn them to pretend I am someone I am not. I’ve worn them because I think without them I won’t be accepted. I’ve worn them to gain approval.

I’ve worn them with other people and sadly, I’ve worn them with God. Not that it fooled Him, but it certainly kept me from being real and honest before Him. Because of His incredible love, the masks have been falling off. I am understanding that He loves me just as I am….no matter how messed up that may be. I believe that He grieves when I try to be someone I’m not…when I try to hide what is really inside of me.

I still occasionally wear a mask but it seems it’s less and less of the time. The more I rest in His love, the easier it is to be real with other people. And the more real I am with others, the more real they can be with me.

I am thankful to God that I don’t need to be anyone other than who He made me to be.

Are you wearing masks today? Are they there to protect you? To make you feel important? To help you hide from God? I invite you to allow God to gently lift those masks and allow you to be real…with Him and with others.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Sunday, July 19, 2009

sabbath


no post today ~ enjoy the sabbath

Saturday, July 18, 2009

spa for the soul - solitude



“If we are serious about hearing God, we will stay close to him. We will have frequent times when we allow the discipline of silence to deepen into solitude. In solitude - which is more a state of mind than a place – we purposely withdraw from interaction with others for the purpose of being with God.”
Gary Moon


I can remember a time when being alone for any period of time was very hard. I would fill my day with people, if possible. Because it wasn’t always an option to be with someone, I would have on the tv, radio, cds…anything to fill the silence. It was just plain uncomfortable.

For sometime now I have been practicing silence and solitude. I look forward to it. I carve out time in my morning. I love it now, because it’s still dark when I get up. I get my cup of coffee, go into my sunroom, light a candle and sit quietly in the dark. My reason for doing this? To be with God. No agenda, no requests…only sitting with him.

The simplicity of it is beautiful. I simply want to be with Jesus. But as simple as it sounds it is difficult to just ‘be’. Usually, my mind doesn’t want to turn off. Some days it’s easier, some harder. But I keep doing it. And you know what? I love that time.

I used to try so hard to have some type of regular quiet time. I did it because if I didn’t I felt guilty. I did it because other people said I should do it. But now, I can honestly say I do it because I desire it. I love it. I don’t know exactly what happens during that time. I usually don’t feel anything. I cannot say that I come out of it enlightened…at least in a way that I am aware of. What happens during that time is a mystery. But just the fact that I now desire to spend time with God tells me it’s a good mystery.

Today, I invite you to plan a spa for your soul. Plan to set some time aside, light a candle and just ‘be’ with God. Allow the mystery of those moments to transform your spirit.

Peace and Grace,
Deb

Friday, July 17, 2009

quest


touching the unseen

you seem so far away from me today.
just out of reach.
or maybe i’m the one who’s out of reach.
out of touch.
what is it in men that makes you so hard to see?
i need new eyes. spiritual eyeballs that look past
the bills that need paying
and the car that needs fixing
and the emails that keep coming
to see what lies beyond.
eyes that can see in the dark.
and through the dark
to you.

i’ve been looking
in all the wrong places all this time-
in myself rather than you,
within this world rather than
beyond it where the kingdom
of God resides, where you live,
and secretly smile at my shortsightedness-
and wait.
i’m glad you’re so patient.

quest.
steven james

Thursday, July 16, 2009

apple


I had a conversation this past weekend with a dear friend. She spoke of struggling with guilt from a choice she had made in the past. As she thought back to the time of the incident, she noticed that she made a choice that was not what God would have wanted. It was difficult to see her continue to struggle with this past choice and not be able to receive God’s grace and forgiveness. In her head, she knows that God forgives, but in her heart she still carries the burden. I think she believes if she would decide to choose to receive fully God’s grace, that she will surely make a similar choice in the future. It's like she needs to keep the pain of that choice front and center so she remembers that pain and hopes that the frequent reminder will prevent her from doing it again.

But, while she continues to carry that burden she avoids spending time with God because of the shame. Can you see that she’s caught? We briefly talked about how, if she stays in that place, she most certainly won’t move closer to the heart of God.

God loved her as much after she made her choice as before she made it and He loves her fully now even though she keeps Him at arms’ length. I think He grieves that she won’t allow Him closer to comfort her. Isn’t that what sin does so well? Create separation from God? Remember the garden? Adam and Eve in perfect communion with God. Then the choice they made to pick the proverbial "apple"…to have autonomy. Then their shame and hiding from God. And what did God do? He pursued them. Yes...there were consequences to their sin but God also provided for them and continued to care for them.

We all live under the fall…we’ve all picked and will continue to pick ‘apples’ and make choices that are not pleasing to God. But He is always waiting for us to come back into right relationship with Him.

God loves you. He wants you to be with Him. Whatever you done, He still desires your company. He loves you deeply and wants to have a restored relationship. Do what needs to be done to work towards restoration…with Him…with others and then let it go. I am convinced we don’t change our behavior by sheer will to do it differently. I’ve tried that over the years and the results have been sketchy. What I do believe changes me and my actions is being as close to the heart of God as I can be…by pursuing an intimate relationship with Him. Recognizing His love for me and resting in that love can change me like nothing else.

So…to my dear friend…and to those of you who are struggling with the same thing, I invite you to set aside some time today to sit in God’s presence and pour your heart out to Him. Don’t allow the shame or the guilt to keep you away. Sit with Him and tell Him exactly how you feel. And allow Him to pour His love over you.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

awareness



Being aware of the 'nearness' of God can change the way you look at the world. That, in turn can change everything. Take some time today to bring your full awareness to God and where He is moving in your life.

Peace,
Deb

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

ponder


”But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”

Luke 2:19


Ponder. Not a word we hear a lot these days. What does it mean? Here’s a dictionary definition:

Ponder:
~to consider something deeply and thoroughly; meditate

~ to weigh carefully in the mind; consider thoughtfully

Mary knew that what had been told to her was very, very precious. I think she knew that there would be times in her life when it would be important for her to remember those words, those moments when she first said yes to God. There would be wonderful times as she watched him grow from an infant into a little boy. Then there would be terrifying times as she heard the news of his arrest, and witnessed the events that followed.

I wonder what I treasure in my heart...what do I ponder? What do I take so seriously, feel so deeply, experience as God moving me in my spirit? I know that I do not ‘ponder’ enough. I don’t take the time to think deeply, often enough. And because of that I miss things that God has for me. I miss experiencing a more intimate relationship with Him.

I want this to change. I want to be captured by words or thoughts so much that I won’t let go of them. I want to hold them close and mediate on them.

I encourage you today to think about what you hold in your heart…what do you ponder? Is it thoughts about Jesus? I invite you to enter into Scripture slowly today. Take a verse and allow it to sink deep. Treasure what God shares with you, in your heart and ponder it for as longs as God leads….it will change who you are.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Monday, July 13, 2009

mr potato head


Did you have a Mr. Potato Head as a kid? I did. I loved that toy. I could spend hours changing his features to make him into an entirely new person…ummm..potato….you know…well….as much as you can possibly change the look of a potato.

I spent much of my adult life as a Mr…wait…a Mrs. Potato Head. My insides remained pretty much the same but my outsides might change depending on who I was with. Not flagrant inconsistencies but more than I would have liked.

I am getting older (although they are saying that 50 is the new 30!) and I want to live my life with integrity. I want to be the same inside and out. I want to be the same no matter what circumstance I’m in or who I am with. I don’t want to put on airs or downplay my strengths. I don’t want to hide behind feelings of inadequacies nor do I want to be quiet about what I think or feel strongly about. I just want to be me…the me who is changing and growing and becoming more comfortable with who I am and who I am becoming. I believe this is what God calls me to….a life of integrity.

If you find yourself being like Mr. Potato Head, I invite you to spend some time today thinking about the ways you may not be living in integrity and consider what you might want to change.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Sunday, July 12, 2009

sabbath


no poat today ~ enjoy your sabbath

Saturday, July 11, 2009

spa for the soul


“We exist in the loving ocean of God’s being. We cannot attain the company of God. What may be missing, however, is our awareness of his transforming presence…”
Gary Moon

“We exist in the loving ocean of God’s being.”
Sit with this thought and try to comprehend it. Notice that it isn’t a state you need to work towards… you already exist in it.

“We cannot attain the company of God.”
Again, you nor I can’t do anything to work ourselves into the company of God.

“What may be missing however is our awareness of his transforming presence.”
Think about this for a while. The missing piece is our awareness of God and his presence. It is all around us. This is a relatively new thought for me. I’ve been taught over the years that God is everywhere. And, I feel as if I spent most of those years trying to move closer to him….. only to discover that He has been closer to me than my own breath but I didn’t know how to see Him, to notice Him. I was caught up in ‘doing’, in service, in reading, in thinking, in talking, in debating, in growing…in my efforts to work my way there. Now, I find that when I sit, quietly, without talking, just wanting nothing more than to be in His presence, my spiritual eyes are opened and I see Him everywhere.

I see Him in nature, in the book I’m reading, the movie I’m watching, in my husband building something, in the beautiful faces of my grand-daughters, in the athletic ability of my grandson and in the face of my daughter as she plays with her two little boys.

God is everywhere. Earth and heaven are saturated with Him and His presence. If I only take the time to look…take the time to see….take the time to learn how to be still.

I invite you to slow down today…maybe right now, take five minutes, to just sit quietly with Him. Tell Him all you want to do is be in His presence…to sense His love for you.

Peace,
Deb

Friday, July 10, 2009

shine


“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson


It occurs to me that I walk between two realities. I am made in the image and likeness of God. I also know that I live east of Eden. I no longer live in the garden. I am broken and flawed. I struggle, many times, to do the right thing.

Often I tend to think of myself as average. Average intelligence, somewhat gifted, passable in looks. Every once a while I have a ‘brilliant’ moment or two. I can tend to focus on what I am not.

But this quote takes me back to the ‘real’ reality. I am a child of God. His spirit resides within me. That is what people see when I get out of the way. Because of Him I am who I am. My playing small does not serve the world….and neither does yours.

I invite you to give this some thought today. How do you ‘play small? How do you diminish the glory of God that is within you? Spend some time pondering these questions and considering what response God wants to invite in you. May you let your light shine.

Blessings,
Deb

Thursday, July 9, 2009

expectations


“The anguish in the world can be traced to expectations.

Anthony deMello


Did you ever notice how true this is for you? It certainly is true for me. It happens on vacations, in new jobs, during the holidays. I always have an idea in my head how it will work and it never seems to meet my expectations.

Honestly, I felt like that when I went to Israel two years ago. I expected to see THE tomb. They don’t know where THE tomb is. There are several possibilities. I expected to see the THE stable where Jesus was born. Now, in retrospect I realize how silly it was to think that the stable would still be there over 2000 years later. As you have guessed, there is no stable. In fact, the picture above is of a hole in the floor of a church in Bethlehem. You place your hand in the hole and feel the stone underneath. This is possibly the stone that was under the stable. Talk about unmet expectations.

It can happen with people too. We have expectations, they aren’t met and we become discouraged.

Consider holding your expectations lightly. I invite you to give them to God and allow him to attend to the outcome.

Blessings,
Deb

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

chosen


A couple of years, within the space of three days, I heard or read the story of the wedding feast, the place of Jesus’ first miracle…He turned water into wine. I have read this story countless times but when I encountered it for the third time, in such a short span of time, I asked God what He wanted me to take from this story…how He was speaking to me through it. As I sat, in silence, I felt the desire to write a poem. I do not, at all, consider myself a poet. In fact, I don’t think I’ve written a poem since high school. But, the words that follow flowed out onto the paper. I doubt it would win any awards but it expresses what God laid on my heart that afternoon.

My prayer is that He would speak to you through these words.



chosen

simple ordinary container
willing to hold fresh water
to refresh, to quench
sturdy, dependable
loyal, practical
content to be a holder of this sustaining liquid

but wait…
a wedding day
beautiful jars filled with wine
to be seen by all the guests
an extraordinary vessel
to carry the fruit’s offering

then…it’s gone
it has run it’s course
and is no more
guests shall be disappointed
bride and groom disgraced
a wedding feast marred

simple ordinary container willing to hold water
now being filed as usual
but…it is not usual
water? no…wine!
not just wine
but the sweetest wine known.

wine from the vine
sweet and warming
not just to the body
but to the heart

simple ordinary container
sturdy dependable
loyal, practical
chosen



deb

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

iron sharpens iron


"The person you would most not want to be with in community will always be there."
Henri Nouwen


I first heard this quote two years ago when I was at a residency program. It rang true for me. For whatever reason, there is almost always someone, somewhere that I am, that I would rather not be there. Did you follow that?

I know this is most “unchristian’ of me to admit but it is true. I am not so evolved that I love everyone equally. In fact, there are some that I really struggle with. And for some reason, God makes sure that I usually have one of those people in my path.

Something else I have discovered is that these people have something in common….they usually have some quality I have! Did that ever happen to you? You find yourself rubbed the wrong way by someone. You take some time to think about what it is that bothers you and realize it is a quality you also have. But…you give yourself a pass because that quality is a positive in you and just plain annoying in this other person.

God gently reveals these lies to me. He places other people who are either too much like me or not like me at all to help work out His purposes in my life.

Iron sharpens irons…..that’s how the psalmist puts it. We need each other, and the forging quality of relationships, to work off the rough edges and craft us into individuals who reflect God.

I am trying to be thankful for those people who mirror to me things I need to surrender to God. I also need to humble myself and realize I am THAT person for someone else. I am the one that is someone else’s ‘person they would not want to be in community with’.

It goes back to the basics. It goes back to love. It goes back to looking for the beauty in each other. It goes back to allowing God to do the work in our lives any way He chooses. And if He chooses to use me to work in you or you to work in me….may it be so.

Who are those people in your life? Consider spending some time today thinking about them, what God might want to be showing you through your interaction with them. Maybe we can both get to the place where we can actually thank God for their presence in our lives.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Monday, July 6, 2009

moldable


It is not you that shapes God.
It is God that shapes you.
If then you are the work of God
Await the hand of the artist who does
All things in due season.

Offer Him your heart,
Soft and tractable,
And keep the form in which the artist
Has fashioned you.
Let the clay be moist
Lest you go hard
And lose the imprint of your fingers.

Prayer from St Irenaeus

This prayer speaks about part of the journey I have been on in the past couple of years. I have become increasingly aware of the fact that God initiates everything in me. Some times I become anxious about what may be in the future but I want to continue to trust Him and His timing. I want to be pliable and moldable in His hand.

Consider taking some time today and sit with this prayer. See what God may want to say to you. Journal about what you are hearing and consider how you might want to respond.

Peace,
Deb

Sunday, July 5, 2009

sabbath


No post today ~ enjoy your sabbath

Saturday, July 4, 2009

spa for the soul


As women, we like to do certain things for ourselves. We get our hair cut, colored and highlighted. We purchase special shampoos, good conditioners, glazes and paste. We buy bath gels, body crèmes, hand lotions. We use moisturizer, masks, potions and lotions. We love makeup. We do our nails…we get manicures and pedicures. Occasionally we will treat ourselves to a massage. So many times, our fantasy is a day at the spa; a day to be pampered and nurtured. We long for that time of rest and relaxation…to renew and rejuvenate.

But, as frequently as we may think of caring for our physical bodies, we neglect our spiritual selves. We seem to think that a prayer shot up, here and there, a minute or two in Scripture, a Sunday morning message, and singing a couple of worship songs takes care of meeting the needs of our spirit.

Think for a few minutes about this. Our physical bodies are in a constant state of deterioration. I know this is not a happy thought, but it is true. All of our attempts to stave off the inevitable may make the inevitable a little easier to accept but it is still happening. Our physical bodies are moving towards death every day. But, our spirit is eternal. Any effort we put into opening our spirit to God, takes us deeper into His presence. When we spend time practicing those disciplines that create intimacy with Him, we are building into something that will last forever.

Now I am not saying that we shouldn’t spend time on our physical bodies. They are gifts from God and we need to care for them. But…what would our spirits look like if we nurtured them as much as we do our bodies?

My passion is to help women nurture their spirits. This blog is one way I want to do this. My hope is that is why you come back…to hopefully feed your spirit. Sometimes, there is food for thought…for your brain and how you think about God and the world around you. Other times, it is for nurturing your spirit. Allow your spirit to be nurtured today.

Blessings,
Deb

Friday, July 3, 2009

relationships


This past week, I was reading a book and came across a section that talked about women reflecting the character of God. This is something that I have always known. I’ve been taught it for years. I, as a woman, reflect God. But how? How exactly, do I do this as a female?

Women are designed for relationship. We love relationships. Even those of you who are introverts love to know that you are loved, that there are people who want to be with you, spend time with you.

Generally, women show love in a relational way. We give, we nurture, we comfort. The authors of Captivating, share that women, uniquely reflect the relational character of God.

God created me for relationship with Him. He longs for me to love Him, to desire relationship with Him. Jesus said, in Mark 12:30, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” See it? It’s all about relationship.

There have been times when I have mentioned, in various settings, that I would like more ‘community’ or connectedness. I am relational and although I like my time alone, I like to be with people. I work better when I can be in relationship with those I work and interact with. Others don’t always feel that need. I could interpret that as if there must be something wrong with me that I need more relationship, as if it were a weakness.

But, when I read the passage in Captivating, I was amazed. It brought back the reality that God, at His core, is relational. Relationships are extremely important to Him and they were paramount to Jesus. It is a legitimate desire and longing and God loves that it is important to me to build a closer, more intimate, relationship with him and with others.

Today, love your status as a woman in God’s eyes…you have been created for relationship. Beautifully reflect that aspect of God’s character.

Blessings,
Deb

Thursday, July 2, 2009

impossible


A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell. ~
C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

Came across this quote recently. Consider spending some time today pondering all it holds………

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

breathe


Mornings….I love mornings. I really love early morning. I love the time before the busyness outside begins. I have a sunroom. In the morning, around 5:30, I get a cup of coffee and go into the sunroom. I light a candle. I love candles. I love them because of the significance of Christ being the light of the world. But, I must admit, I also love them because of the fragrance. I am very picky about my candle fragrance. I also love the mood a candle provides. Ok...I'm rambling about candles. Moving on....

Sometimes I turn on some very soft classical music. Then I just sit. I close my eyes and just breath. I cannot think of any other time I just breath. I can feel my shoulders dropping, and my breathing getting deeper and slower. I relax into it. I can hear the birds, my wind chimes, and occasionally, my cats playing outside the door. Sometimes thoughts come into my mind…about an email I didn’t answer or what we will have for dinner. When I notice that I am ‘thinking’, I try to let go of the thought and go back to awareness of my breathing.

Why so I do this? It seems like it is one of the only times I can truly be present…present with God. My ultimate thought is always about Him. I just want to sit and be still with Him. No agenda, nothing to “do”. Just being. It’s not easy to just ‘be’. Doesn’t that sound strange…that it would be easier to actually ‘do’ something than to just ‘be’? This ‘being’ business is not easy. But it so worth the effort.

When I move into spending time in scripture and journaling about what I hear God saying, I feel so much more focused. I feel much more receptive to hearing Him. It truly has become the most favorite time of my day.

I invite you to try just sitting with Him…eyes closed, and paying attention to your breathing. Relax….and listen to what God may be saying to you. May it be a sweet time with Him.

Grace and peace,
Deb