dance

“I’m dancing the song of my Savior God.”

Luke 1:47

This is part of Mary’s response to finding out she would bear the Christ. What would it be like to ‘dance’ with God?


he is my partner.

in rhythm,
he leads.

our dance tells a story.


sometimes the dance is fast and full of passion ~ fun and free.


sometimes the dance is slow and intentional ~ flowing.


sometimes it is a lullaby where i rest in his arms ~ he carries me.


sometimes he sits back as i dance for joy before him.


sometimes, someone else is invited.



You are invited to a dance….an intimate dance with God. Accept, relax and let Him lead you.

Grace and peace,
Deb
http://www.flickr.com/photos/christilou1/5143581050/
Photo by christilou 1

past to future

Taken from Celtic Daily Prayer…

‘I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, to give you a hope and a future’ (Jer 29:11). God can take events of the past and weave them so skillfully into a new plan for us that not only do we find there is a future for us after all, but it is if there have been no wasted years.
CHRIST BEHIND ME
There He walks in your past. He walks in all the dark rooms you pretend are closed, that He may bring light. Invite Him into your past. Experience His forgiveness, His acceptance of you. Offer especially all that you are ashamed of…all that you wish to forget…all that still pains and hurts you….all the hurt you have caused others. Walk there in the places you are afraid of, knowing that He walks with you and will lead you on!

CHRIST BEFORE ME
He forever goes before us to prepare a place for us. He is on the road we tread. Wherever life is leading us, He has gone before. Perhaps we have no clue about what lies ahead; we know who is ahead of us, so the future is not quite unknown.

~ by David Adams, The Edge of Glory

beginnings

I Tremble on the Edge of a Maybe

O God of beginnings,
as your Spirit moved
over the face of the deep
on the first day of creation,
move with me now
in my time of beginnings,
when the air is rain-washed,
the bloom is on the bush,
and the world seems fresh
and full of possibilities,
and I feel ready and full.

I tremble on the edge of a maybe,
a first time, a new thing,
a tentative start,
and the wonder of it lays its finger on my lips.

In silence Lord,
I share now my eagerness
and my uneasiness
about this something different
I would be or do;
and I listen for your leading
to help me separate the light
from the darkness
in the change I seek to shape
and which is shaping me.

Ted Loder, Guerrillas of Grace

heart issues

“The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.”

Ben Okri

I’ve had a post-it note sitting in a note holder on my desk for the past several weeks. I look at it every time I sit down to work. It simply says, “break down or break open”. I think it is a profound saying. One thing I know is that to fully engaged in life means encountering difficulty and suffering. Sometimes that is due to the loss of someone in our life – maybe through death, maybe through divorce, maybe through abandonment.

We can be hurt by others. Through their actions or words, they tell us that we are not enough, that we are not worthy, that we are not wanted, that we are not included, that we are not needed.
Sometimes our suffering is through our own choices. We willingly and wantonly choose what God would not have for us and then reap the consequences.

And sometimes, suffering comes to us through illness and on-going health challenges – our own or in those we love.
In all these circumstances we have a choice. We can either allow our heart to ‘break down’ or to ‘break open’. ‘Breaking down’ means pulling away, closing off and living in a state of dis-integration. To ‘break open’ means moving towards, opening up and allowing for deeper and deeper integration. Breaking open means we are trusting God’s work in our lives, no matter what may happen. We are willing to trust that our hearts will be enlarged by our suffering…that through our suffering we can become people known for our deep compassion, generous love and capacity for forgiveness.

What struggle are you dealing with right now? As you consider the idea of breaking down or breaking open, where do you find yourself? If you tend to ‘break down’, what could you do today to allow your heart to ‘break open’ and encounter God’s love, grace and transformation in the midst of the suffering?

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by Charlotte Dee
http://www.flickr.com/photos/66517237@N04/6377650365/

true transformation

“Transformation: Through it all, God gradually and slowly “captures” the inner faculties: first the heart and the will, then the mind, the imagination, and the passions. The result is the transformation of the entire personality into the likeness of Christ. More and more and more we take on his habits, feelings, hopes, faith and love.”

Richard Foster, Streams of Living Water

Where do you see yourself in this quote? Do you feel that God has “captured” your heart? What about your will? Your mind? Imagination? And you passions? Consider spending some time reflecting on where and how God has ‘captured’ you.

Grace and peace,
Deb

belief vs practice

“We must move from a belief-based religion to a practice-based religion, or little will change. We will merely continue to argue about what we are supposed to believe and who the unbelievers are.”

Richard Rohr

In my 30- some years as a believer I’ve had a lot of interactions with Christians…some good, some not so good. Many of them were very sure that they had all the right answers, that their theology was superior to anyone else’s. If someone threatened or brought any part of that theology into question, it was reason for a defense to be mounted. It might even lead one to discredit their ‘opponent’ to fortify their own position. This is the result of a belief-based religion. Our beliefs become more important than our actions.
A practice-based religion will always put more emphasis on how others are treated, how one moves in the world, how they reflect Jesus. They understand that actions speak louder than words. They believe that how they act is more important than what their theology may be.

Now – there is no doubt that what we believe informs how we practice our faith. But if our beliefs eclipse our practice, we have our emphasis in the wrong place. Does the term ‘Pharisee’ ring a bell? They certainly had their doctrine right but totally missed the mark in practice. And Jesus dressed them down for it (and that may be putting it mildly). Yet, some uneducated fishermen and – believe it or not – women, lived out ‘right practice’ and were seen and acknowledged by Jesus.

Perhaps it may be a good idea to take some time and ask yourself what has been more important to you – right doctrine/theology or right practice.

Grace and peace,
Deb

lent

Repentance is the doorway to the spiritual life, the only way to begin. It is also the path itself, the only way to continue. Anything else is foolishness and self-delusion. Only repentance is both brute-honest enough, and joyous enough, to bring us all the way home.

Frederica Mathewes-Green, The Illumined Heart: The Ancient Christian Path of Transformation

Today is the first day of Lent. It is a time of preparation, reflection and repentance as we look toward the cross. I encourage you to take some time today to consider what may be pulling your heart away from God. What are your idols? What keeps you awake at night? What is the first thing you think of in the morning?

Grace and peace,
Deb

transparency

“With regard to God, people often say, “There’s no need to tell him how I feel or what I desire because he already knows.” What is in question is not God’s knowledge but my trust in him, my willingness to be as transparent as I can be before him.”
William A. Barry

As a woman, I love to hear my husband say, “I love you”, or “If I had to choose all over again, I would choose you.” And, when I ask him why he doesn’t say it more often, he says “You already know it.” Sometimes he thinks that if he says it once or twice, it’s sufficient, or that implied love is the same as expressed love. But…even if I know it, I still like to hear it.

I wonder if that is what it is like for God. Even though he knows everything, he still wants to hear it. Not only how much I love him, but that I also know that I fall short. And I think he not only wants to hear me talk of it in generalities but in specifics. That way, I am ‘speaking’ it. It makes it more real to me. And it shows my trust in him. When I let go of my defensives and stand emotionally naked before God, he knows that I trust his love for me. He knows that I want to be real, to be transparent in front of him. And…I think he loves to hear me speak it.

Today, consider what it is that you are not saying to God. What are you hoping he ‘just knows’ to save yourself the pain of speaking it? Tell him…tell the One who loves you more than any other, the One who already knows, but wants to hear you entrust it to him.

Grace and peace,
Deb

trust

“If we lack confidence that life is trustworthy, that a life of live encounters will take us towards wholeness, then we will forever feel the need to manipulate, and goal setting will be one of our major strategies.”

Parker Palmer, The Active Life

This quote struck a chord within me. I can be the master manipulator. And I know how to make it look oh so good. Know what I mean? I actually can make it look like it is for your good. I am not proud of this. I think it is a coping mechanism I picked up while trying to find my way through some challenging times in my early days.

Over the past couple of years, I have begun to find freedom in allowing God to set my agenda. Not always easy, not always comfortable, not always my first inclination. It is not easy for me to give up control. But then I realize I really don’t have all that much control.

This doesn’t mean that I sit in a chair all day long and wait for things to drop into my lap. I do have hopes, dreams and aspirations. What is does mean is that I try not to push into things. I want to look, pay attention and notice what God may be leading me into. I try not to create the outcome I want. I try to be open to whatever God has me. I hold my goals with open hands willing to let go of that which doesn’t fit with God’s plan.

May you trust that God will provide you with a life of awesome encounters that will take you towards wholeness….the wholeness He desires for you.

Grace and peace,
Deb

ancient future

“The sons and daughters of modernity are rediscovering the neglected beauty of classical Christian teaching. It is a moment of joy, of beholding anew what has been forgotten, of hugging a lost child. One of the most promising developments among evangelical Protestants is the recent ‘discovery’ of the rich, biblical, spiritual, and theological treasures to be found within the early church.”

Chris Armstrong

At times, I lead a class on how to approach the Scriptures in a transformative way ~ lectio divina. It is an ancient practice that has been a part of monastery life for over 1500 years. But, it is being ‘rediscovered’ in evangelical circles. And, it is to our benefit.

For years, I have approached my Christianity in a rational manner. I had knowledge of Scripture, knowledge of Jesus, knowledge of God’s character. But, when I began, several years ago, to practice a more contemplative spirituality, it is like my spiritual life was awakened from a deep sleep. The Bible now breathes hope into my spirit. Jesus now is someone I have an intimate relationship with rather than someone I have pledged my allegiance to. And I can picture God singing over me because He loves me. My spirit has new life.

We do not need to fear what the ancient church mothers and fathers passed down through the generations. If we can find a place, within our rational faith framework, for the possibility that we do not have it all figured out, and be open to learning some new ways to experience God, we may find ourselves moving closer to the Lord than we ever thought possible .. . not just with our head but with our heart.

Grace and peace,
Deb

prayer

Saint Theresa’s Prayer

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.


Take some time today to sit with this prayer and notice where God may be speaking to you.



Grace and peace,

Deb

spiritual companions

I could never do this spiritual life alone. I need spiritual friends. What I mean by this is that I need those people who help me see the way. They don’t tell me which way to go but they illuminate the path and make the journey with me. About 8 years ago a friend of mine shared his evolving spiritual journey with me. I was intrigued. Something in my spirit was awakened and the spiritual landscape slowly began to change for me.

It’s like I’m on this glorious trip that God has arranged for me. He has graciously given me people who can help me along the way. They may have traveled this way before me and can help me navigate the way – or even if their journey has been different, they can help me make sense of landmarks I might be encountering. One of my relationships is strictly for this purpose. I know that when I spend time with her, the intention is to see where God is at work in my life. I am also blessed with traveling companions - wonderful friends who I can have spiritual conversations with and do life with. And then, there are those beautiful, surprise, random encounters where God uses the most unlikely person or circumstance to speak in to my life or point me in the right direction.

Who are the guides in your life? Who are those people you intentionally speak with? Who helps you discern the movement of God? Who are the friends that build into you…celebrate the grace you are noticing and support any correction God wants to make in your walk? Who are the people who seem to help you clarify God's leading? Many times, we take these life-giving relationships for granted. Pause today, reflect and be thankful for those who accompany you.

Grace and peace,
Deb

beauty

“Art can warm even a chilled and sunless soul to an exalted spiritual experience. Through art, we occasionally receive – indistinctly, briefly – revelations the likes of which cannot be achieved by rational thought.

It is like the small mirror of legend, you look into it but instead of yourself, you glimpse for a moment, the Inaccessible, a realm forever beyond reach. And your soul begins to ache.”

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Art can move us beyond what we can see, hear or touch with our normal human senses. It can truly give us a glimpse into beauty which is close to God’s heart.

Delight today in a piece of art and allow it to move you into a place of beauty.

Grace and peace,
Deb

responsibility - part two

When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”


~Author Unknown



Yesterday, I reflected on the way you can let the actions of others impact you in unhealthy ways. Today, I want to spend a few minutes looking at how it hurts you when you don’t take responsibility for your own wrongdoing. How have your actions hurt others? You may have hurt them either intentionally or unintentionally but the result is the same – someone was hurt because of something you did or did not do, said or did not say.

It may seem easier to just brush past it, hoping time will heal all wounds. And yesterday, we looked at the fact that the other person is responsible for their own healing. But when you don’t take responsibility for your own mistakes, you don’t grow. You aren’t living a life of integrity.

I often find myself in a position of helping people work through conflicts. Everyone make mistakes – but not everyone is able to admit them and take responsibility for them. One of the marks of true transformation is not the absence of mistakes but the ability to own them. It is far easier to side step the issue or to place blame, either on the others involved or on the situation than to say ‘I messed up’. It is amazing how healing those few words can be. It’s amazing how they can change the hearts of those we have hurt and even more amazing how they can change us.

Is there anything that you know you need to accept responsibility for? Ask God to reveal to you what He might want you to own and then consider what you might do to rectify it.

Grace and peace,

Deb

responsibility - part one

"The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny."

~Albert Ellis

I have found myself in conversations over the past several months with individuals who are struggling with feelings of resentment, frustration and anger. These feelings are the remnants of situations where they felt wronged or hurt.
In each conversation there is a valid reason for the feelings they have. They all were wronged in some way, to some degree. So – their desire for closure, for an apology, for some measure of vindication is understandable. But basing their ability to move past the hurt on the expectation that they will receive any of those things is the equivalent of locking themselves in cell.

You do not have control over how others interact with you. You have no control over the some of the circumstances you find yourself in. The only thing you can control is your response. What will you do with your feelings? Why would you choose to hang onto the negativity? Why would you allow someone to have so much negative influence on your life?

You may find yourself questioning the system. Why did it let you down? Why didn’t it work the way it was supposed to? How can you trust it again? Trust people again?

Actually, your lack of trust is not with others…it is with God. You may not trust Him to work towards ultimate justice – so you may feel you need to help Him out with that. You may not trust Him to work something beautiful out of something hurtful or difficult. You may not trust that He may be doing things that you do not know about or understand as He works deeply in each person involved.

If you find yourself today, hurt or angry over an offense, consider offering it to God and allow Him to work out the specifics. Only through taking responsibility for your own life, will you truly grow.

Tomorrow – the other side of the coin.

Grace and peace,
Deb

guides

As you reflect on your relationship with Jesus, who was instrumental in your spiritual life? Perhaps you had the privilege of being raised in a Christian home where God was no stranger. Maybe it was a parent or grandparent who prayed with you and told you that God loved you. Or perhaps it was a friend, within which you noticed something different, something attractive. Or maybe you were like me and it was the guy who took a chance on dating someone who didn’t have a strong relationship with God.

Through their example you realized there was more to this “God” thing. As I think back I can name several people who God used to woo me to Him. I am so grateful to Him for placing them in my life.

I invite you to spend some time today reflecting on who those people were in your life. Who pointed you to the One who loves you more than anyone possibly could? Who shared the truth of who He is? Who stirred the desire in your heart for more?

Grace and peace,
Deb

seed

“Give over your own willing, give over your own running, give over your own desiring to know or be anything and sink down to the seed which God sows in the heart, and let that grow in you and be in you; and you will find by sweet experience that the Lord knows that and loves and owns that, and it will lead it to the inheritance of Life which is its portion.”

Isaac Pennington, Quaker

Sometimes I wonder how long it will take me to get this. How long before I understand that what is being worked in me is of God and not of my doing? Somewhere deep inside I know this to be true but I forget it.

I am grateful for reminders like the quote above. When I am reminded of God’s work, I can surrender to it and stop striving under my own power to make things happen.
May you be reminded today that God has sowed a seed within you that He is bringing to fruition. May you relax into that work and let your efforts be surrendered. May you be amazed at what He will do.

Grace and peace,
Deb

transition

“…true contemplation is never a mere retreat. Instead, it draws us deeper into right action by getting us more deeply in touch with the gifts that we have to give, with our need to give them, with the people and problems that need us. “

Parker Palmer

Yesterday, I shared about the need to create space in our lives for silence. In the silence we can become more attuned to the gifts God has given us and how He wants us to use those gifts in the world. This has been my journey for the last three years.
I remember the first time I sensed something was going to shift or change. I was in a staff meeting at work and those leading the meeting showed the Rob Bell Nooma DVD, Shells. In it, Bell talks about being at the ocean with his family. One of his children, who had been picking up seashells on the beach spots a starfish in the surf and asked if it was ok to go out and get it. Rob tells his son to go for it. He goes out in the surf and comes back without the starfish. This scenario repeats itself two more times and finally, Rob says, “Buddy, why aren’t you bringing the starfish back with you?” His son says, “Daddy , I can’t because my hands are filled with shells.” At that moment, my heart began to beat faster, my palms began to sweat and I knew I was either having a heart attack or God was speaking to me. Thank goodness, it was God.
Since then I have been paying attention and waiting…and waiting…and waiting. What was my starfish? What was I to pursue? And what were the shells? What was I going to need to let go of in order to hold the starfish? 1 ½ years ago, things started to come into focus.
The starfish was a spiritual formation center. It became clear to me that God was leading me to open a center here in York. That meant that the shells were representative of my position at Living Word Community Church.
So – Kavanna House opened on a part-time basis in September, 2011, and is doing very well. My position at Living Word will be ending mid-April, so that I can focus on having the center running full-time in September, 2012. It is beautiful to see God bring this dream to pass.
Kavanna House is a non-profit organization designed to offer individuals the means to move into deeper intimacy with God through contemplative practices. Kavanna is a Hebrew word meaning; intentional, awakened, mindful and devoted to prayer. We will offer classes, workshops and retreats in Christ-centered contemplative spirituality. We will also offer training for spiritual directors.
As regular readers of this blog, I sincerely hope you will check it out. In fact, the blog will soon move permanently to the website. For the next month, it will continue to run in both places. You will be able to subscribe to have it sent to your email just as you may have on the Sacred Encounters site. In addition, you can follow us on Facebook (please ‘Like’ us :0) ) and also on Twitter. Feel free to pass the links onto anyone you know who may be interested in contemplative spirituality.
You have no idea how much your support has meant to me. The emails I get from readers are such an encouragement and to know that so many of you use these thoughts in your own intentional time with God is overwhelming to me. I look forward to what God has in the future for us as we continue to seek Him, for each of our lives, as individuals, but also corporately, as the body of Christ – being light and salt to the world.

Grace and peace ~
Deb

calling

“…true contemplation is never a mere retreat. Instead, it draws us deeper into right action by getting us more deeply in touch with the gifts that we have to give, with our need to give them, with the people and problems that need us. “
Parker Palmer

There was a time when I couldn’t stand to be alone. I had to always have people around me. I couldn’t bear silence. To be left alone with my thoughts was a scary thing and I avoided it at all costs.

Now, I love ‘alone’ time. I don’t mind being by myself. In fact, I love it. And, although it is lovely having time alone with God, and it is an essential piece of my spiritual growth, the spiritual life is not meant to a solitary experience. Transformation is not only about what I sense God doing within me but about how I live out what God is doing within me. I need to allow time and space for God to speak into my life, clarifying the gifts and calling He has placed inside. I then need to discern how He wants me to use those gifts, and live out that calling in a way that draws others to Him (more on that tomorrow).

Are you creating space to give God a chance to reveal the gifts He has given you? Do you know what calling He has placed in your heart? Do you know how He wants you offer that to the world?

Give yourself - and others - the gift of contemplation.

Grace and peace,
Deb

becoming

“This life therefore, is not righteousness, but growth in righteousness, not health but healing, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it; the process is not yet finished but is going on. This is not the end but it is the road; all does not yet gleam in glory but all is being purified.”

Martin Luther

Our walk with God is a process. I think that sometimes we get impatient with ourselves, with others, because we think we should have ‘arrived’ by now. Spend some time dissecting this quote today and consider:

Do you expect complete righteousness or do you know that you are growing in righteousness?

Do you expect complete mental and spiritual health or do you see that, day by day, you are healing?

Do you know that you are not yet who you will be but you are growing towards it?

This is a wonderful journey you are on. Everyday moves you closer to who God designed you to be, if you are aware and moving in concert with Him. Celebrate who you are ‘becoming.’

Grace and peace,
Deb

rest

And so let me let you hold me
when I have come to the place
beyond the willingness to labor,
beyond anything but the longing
for rest.

Let my emptiness be emptiness
till it reveals to me your face,
and let my weariness be weariness
till it prompts me to your rest.
Then may I know the healing
of slumber
and the possibility of dreams;
Then may I greet the dawn and
take up my work again.

Jan Richardson

Grace and peace,
Deb

breathe

“There is probably no image that expresses so well the intimacy with God in prayer as the image of God’s breath. We are like asthmatic people who are cured of their anxiety. The Spirit has taken away our narrowness (the Latin word for anxiety is angustia = narrowness) and made everything new for us. We receive a new breath, a new freedom, a new life. This new life is the divine life of God himself. Prayer, therefore, is God’s breathing in us, by which we become part of the intimacy of God’s inner life, and by which we are born anew.”

Henri Nouwen


Breathe in the Spirit today ~

guidance

“Whoever is his own spiritual director has a fool for a director.”

Early Church Father

Spiritual direction is a spiritual practice that helps you pay close attention to the movement of God in your life. You normally meet once a month with someone trained in the art of direction and through careful listening and gentle questions they help you discern what God may be doing. Many times, we can miss the subtle signs of the Spirit’s prompting. We can miss the ways the dots connect. We can forget how much God loves us. We can breeze past the corrections God is inviting us to make, justifying our behavior. We can come to the place where we think we have it all together.

We love to talk of the importance of Christian community but by that we usually mean a social community. Often that doesn’t translate to inviting people to peer into our dark places and ask questions that reveal truth and breathe life.

Who does that for you? Who forgoes advice-giving, counseling and opinion sharing with you for attentive listening, giving you the space to discern God’s still small voice?

Grace and peace,
Deb

P

life

God of making
and unmaking,
of tearing down
and re-creating,
You are my home
and habitation,
my refuge
and place of dwelling.

In your hollows
I am re-formed,
given welcome
and benediction,
beckoned to rest
and rise again,
made ready
and sent forth.

Jan Richardson

My life in Jesus has been full of ups and downs. I have never had such incredible highs! Wonderful memories of life-changing mission trips, worshipping with new friends, in their own language while tears streamed down my face. Seeing my children baptized. Seeing them marry spouses who love them. Seeing my grandchildren grow. Having had a new, beautiful relationship with my mom. Experiencing changes in my own spiritual walk which have resulted in deeper intimacy. These are the mountains.

Then there are the valleys. A challenging childhood. The death of my sister-in-law. Losing one of my children to miscarriage. Going through a deeply hurtful church experience. Struggling in my marriage. Going through the divorce of my parents. Experiencing illness; mine, my husband’s, my children’s. Seeing my children go through painful things. Walking with friends through tough times. The death of my mom.

I trust God. I trust that He knows what is best for me and I know that he has been with me through all the mountains and valleys. He has a plan for me and it includes all of the above. My painful experiences have played a big part in making me who I am. He is present in all of it.


May you spend some time today reflecting on your experiences, both good and difficult, and notice where God was at work.

Grace and peace,
Deb

prayer

“Usually prayer is a question of groaning rather than speaking, tears rather than words. For he sets our tears in his sight, and our groaning is not hidden from Him who made all things by His Word and does not ask for words of man.”
Augustine

Prayer should not be a list of “I want”s. Although there may be rare times that I tell God what is on my heart and mind, I feel more and more that I am being called into a time of intimacy with Jesus…not a time of talking but a time of being. A time where I surrender my agenda and my wants to Him. A time where I even surrender my need to be in control of my words. I rest in His presence and allow the Spirit to form prayer within me.

The question is not what it is that I want to pray about but what it is that God wants me to lift up to Him. I can only do that if I get myself out of the way. And be willing to not know what it is.

Sometimes that shows itself as silence. And sometimes, without knowing why, tears flow. I don’t question that any longer, trying to figure what it is about. I trust that it is my response to God and that if He wants to understand what it is, He will give that to me.

Consider spending some time today just being with God. Offer up your desire to let Him form the prayer within you. Even if you have no idea what you are praying, know that the Spirit does. Trust the prayer that has no words, that may even bring tears. Trust.

Grace and peace,
Deb