pain

My heart aches for the burden you bear.
I cannot fathom its depths.
Pain untold as you witness your children languish in their own choices.
Sometimes I carry judgment ~
I want you to deal with it the way the way I would. Or would I?
How can I know how I would react?
I try to imagine but the pain of it keeps me from staying there.
If I am unable to even pretend how it feels,
how can I bring any judgment to you?

How can I love you?
How can I support you?
How can I be Jesus with skin on to you?
How can I invite myself into your pain, your world?
How can I truly be myself with you when I am in a place of blessing?
How can share my joy?

I think all I can do is leave you to the Father and ask Him to hold you – hold you in all your pain – the pain I am too frail to hold.
He knows….
how to love you,
how to support you,
how to be in your world of pain.
Because of Him I can try to enter in.
A poor substitute but He can cover my lack.
My hearts aches for the burden you bear.

Love,
deb

presence

day has come.
night releases her hold on the earth
and allows light to illuminate the land.
and so every 24 hours, a day that has never been before.

a new beginning.
a fresh start.
a chance to be present.
a chance to be real.
a chance to be open.
a chance to be.

i take this for granted.
i forget.
i move and do without thinking, automatic.

may i not waste today.
may i be present.
may i be real.
may i be open.
may i be.

Grace and peace,
Deb

spa for the soul - awareness

“Man’s walled mind has no access to a ladder upon which he can, of his own strength, rise to knowledge of God. Yet his soul is endowed with translucent windows that open to the beyond.”

Abraham Heschel


God wants to be known by me. He wants to be pursued by me. He wants to be desired by me. He gives me ample opportunity to see Him. All I have to do is be aware of the ‘translucent windows’ that give me glimpses into His presence. It may be in the form of a rainbow or a sunset. It may be in the coo of a baby. It may be in the sweet smell of a springtime rain. It may be in the power of lightening or the quiet hush of a new snowfall. It may be in vibrant color of a tropical fish or in the majesty of a mountain. It may be in the beauty of the Word or in the soothing words of a friend.

The evidence is everywhere…I just need to be looking. I invite you to join me today in looking for Him, in all the different ways He reveals himself.

Grace and peace,
Deb

solitude

“Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.”


Paul Tillich

Loneliness is epidemic in our world. We can feel lonely in a room full of people. We can feel so disconnected from others. We long for connection, for intimacy.

Solitude is rare in our world. It is a choice we make to create room in our spirits for God to dwell, to work. It is a place where we sit with God….a place to connect with Him and allow intimacy to develop.

Loneliness is inner emptiness.

Solitude is inner fulfillment.

Loneliness is pain.

Solitude is glory.

Loneliness is a place of hollowness.

Solitude is a place of formation.

I invite you to spend some time today in solitude, asking God to create a place of formation inside of you where your relationship with him may deepen and grow.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

choice

“The ancient tension between judgment and mercy is found everywhere in the world. While we may experience it most immediately in our own minds and hearts, this tension informs our medical systems, our political ideologies, even our religious beliefs. If people are basically bad, then they will need to be fixed, shaped, purged of sin, and punished. If, on the other hand, people are essentially good, then we need to be nourished, supported, encouraged, and taught.”

Wayne Muller

What would a shift in my perspective change? What if I were more prone to extend mercy than to pronounce judgment?

When I consider these two ways of approaching life, approaching people – mercy and judgment – I think of Jesus and the Pharisees. The Pharisees were concerned only with the law. They were experts on judgment. Jesus was about drawing out the best in people, helping them see themselves the way He saw them, especially those who were looked on with disdain by the religious elite. He was an expert on mercy. Did he pronounce judgment? Yes – usually on the Pharisees.

Christians have a reputation for being judgmental. I wonder how many times I have contributed to that perception. My deep desire is to be more like Jesus. That means being less judgmental and more merciful. And not just in my behavior or my speech but in my thoughts….yeah – that’s the really hard part. What I know for sure is that I will be given a chance to choose today – judgment or mercy. Please God – let it be mercy.

Grace and peace –
Deb

listen

Life is chaotic.
It’s loud and constantly moving.
No time alone.
No space.
No intentionality.
Just moving from thing to thing….task to task.
Keep moving.
Don’t stop.
It may pass you by.
The world may fall off its axis.

What? Be still?
Learn to listen?
Why?
God’s voice?
Afraid of what I might hear…
condemnation,
fear,
shame,
rejection….
But…what if…
He wants to speak something different into my life….
like love,
acceptance
forgiveness
peace,
joy,
value.
That is what He is offering.

I only need to listen….
Listen and accept.
Be still,
listen
and
hear.

shadows

Life is full of contradictions. There are these completely beautiful moments and then, before I know it, there is a shadow over it all. I live in a fallen world and part of that is my own brokenness. That causes shadows to fall over the things that bring me joy. I am, usually, caught off guard by my shadows. Then, there are other people’s shadows that fall over me, too.

Although I never want to become complacent with shadows, I need to understand that until I am with Him face to face…there will be shadows.

When shadows fall over certain aspects in your life, take the time to breathe and look for God in the midst of the shadow. Where is He? How is He speaking to you? Do you trust Him to redeem the shadow?

Shadows may…no, shadows WILL fall on your life. But know that God is as present in the shadows as He is in the sunshine.

Grace and peace,
Deb

nature

"God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars".

Martin Luther

Nature is revelation that speaks to us everyday of God and His love of beauty. It surrounds us. From the moment the sun rises in the morning and its brilliance drowns out the stars, His creativity is on display. Trees, animals, mountains, rivers, rocks, oceans, canyons, vistas, flowers, beaches, deserts, forests, plains, gorges, fish, birds, sun, moon and stars. Everyday there is an endless array of gifts for us to view, that reflect God.

Look for Him today in the created order.

Grace and peace,
Deb

spa for the soul - prayer

Prayer as conversation with God can be deeply fulfilling. However if it is the only form our prayer takes, we may begin to sense that something is missing. There are two reasons for this. First, prayer is by nature, more than conversation. To limit its concept to dialogue is to allow some of the most profound expressions of prayer to escape our notice. Second, our ‘conversation’, may, in practice, be less a dialogue than a monologue that borders on talking at God.

Marjorie Thompson

How is prayer for you? Is it more talking than listening? Is it a monologue rather than a dialogue?

Someone once said to me that prayer is ‘intimacy with Jesus’. I think I used to look at prayer as my ‘gimme’ list. I would see how things should be and let God know. Now I am listening much more than talking. I try to listen and hear God’s heart and then allow my prayers to rise from that place.

Listening prayer, in the beginning, is much harder than ‘talking’ prayer but the depth of the intimacy is rich.

May you fill your prayer time with silence so that you may hear His still, small voice.

Grace and peace,
Deb

weight

“Don’t think God has ordained you to carry the entire space – time universe on your own back. God created it. God sustains it and God intends that ‘the government will be upon his shoulder’.”
Boston Businessman

Do you ever feel like me and think the world will fall off its axis if you don’t do everything you are doing? Most women just go and go and go. We carry everything. Stuff from the family, stuff from work, stuff from ministry. And, when we do this, we don’t have the time or the energy to focus on the things that God wants us to attend to.

I think this is part of the fall…thinking we are like God. The thinking that ‘if we don’t do it, it won’t get done’. For me, it also speaks to lack of trust in God. If I feel I have to do everything, that means I don’t think God is capable of doing it…or that He needs my help.

I am trying to relax in Him, trying to build some margins into my day so I have time for Him; not time ‘doing’ something for Him but time just being with Him.

If you say to yourself that you don’t have time to be with God, consider giving some thought to how you might have your priorities ordered. Consider letting God be God and taking some of the weight off your shoulders.

Grace and peace,
Deb

holiness

"As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God's life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, "I am holy; you be holy."


1 Peter 1:13

I invite you to take some time today and sit with this scripture. Begin by asking God to share with you what he wants you to notice and offer the time to Him. Then read the verse several times, slowly. Notice what moves you and write it down in your journal. Spend some time reflecting on its meaning for you. Offer it back as prayer to God. Finish your time with a few moments of being silent and allow His truth to sink deep in to your heart.

Grace and peace,
Deb

flow

"Faith does not need to push the river because faith is able to trust that there is a river. The river is flowing. We are in it."

— Richard Rohr

I have a friend who speaks of being ‘in the flow’. What she means by this is being in rhythm with the Holy Spirit. She stops and asks, ‘What seems like the next right thing to do?” She pauses and listens. Sometimes she senses what she should be doing and sometimes there is no indication and she feels a freedom to do what she might want to do.

I am learning to be in the flow…to notice when I am letting go and allowing God to lead. Noticing the twists and turns, the rocks and obstacles, the whirlpools and eddys. Places of incredible beauty and places of danger. The thrill of the rapids and the easy, slow pace of the gentle current. I am trying to stop and notice where I am in the flow.

Right now, there is a bend in the river up ahead. I can’t see around the bend but I am trusting that God knows that whatever it is, it is just what I need for this point in my life.

Are you in the flow? Have you taken time to notice where you might be in the river? Are you in a place of trust or a place of pushing? Perhaps this is an invitation from God to just begin to notice…..

Grace and peace,
Deb

becoming

“In the care of souls, I am far more interested in who people are and who they are becoming in Christ than I am in what they know or what they are doing.”

Eugene Peterson

I need to live this out. I do need to be more concerned with who people are than with what they know or what they do.

But the line that moves me the most is “who they are becoming in Christ.” I am ashamed to admit that I often focus on who they have not yet become. Why do you think we do that to each other? Not give each other the benefit of the doubt. Not look at each other through the lens that God uses.

And…not only do I do that to other people, I do it to myself. It is so much easier to see what I am doing wrong…how I am falling short than to think of who I am ‘becoming’ in Jesus.

This quote challenges me to love others and to love myself. It challenges me to be more gentle and more gracious in my responses to the sin and brokenness I see in others….and in myself.

May you see the person that you are becoming in God. May you see the beautiful work He is doing in others….may you recognize redemption when you witness it.

Grace and peace,
Deb

be still

“Living without speaking is better than speaking without living. For a person who lives rightly helps us by silence, while one who talks too much annoys us. If, however, words and life go hand in hand, that is the perfection of all philosophy.”


Abba Isidore of Pelusia

I think I talk too much. I talk less now than I used to, but I think it is still too much. I sense God calling me to talk less and listen more…not only to Him, but to others as well. I have been aware of this for the past two years. Sometimes I am more conscious of it than others but it is becoming more natural.

One problem with being an extrovert who is discovering the beauty of silence and solitude…people want to know if you are “ok”. Once you find yourself turning down some invitations, being quiet during dinner or measuring your words in conversation, they assume there is something wrong. Sometimes I am disciplining myself, being careful to speak with purpose and not just fill the space with words. Sometimes I am in a ‘quiet’ mood and sometimes, I even sense God asking me to be still, in the midst of being with others.

I wonder how many people I annoyed with going on and on about something? I wonder if there were times when someone wanted to say “Would you just be quiet”? I wonder if there were times when it seemed as if all I did was talk about myself….

What I know is that God is calling me to a place of being still…both in my spiritual life and in my social life.

Is He inviting you to a place of quiet? What would that look like for you? What would change? Consider practicing stillness….and see how God speaks.

Grace and peace,
Deb

sacred

“Spirituality is the sacred center of which all life comes, including Mondays and Tuesdays and rainy Saturday afternoons in all their mundane and glorious details.”

Christina Baldwin

God is everywhere and in everything. Every moment has something of Him in it. All we need to do is be aware and be looking for it.

He is not only found in those activities we see as ‘sacred’ but also in the mundane….the everyday tasks we do with out even thinking about. Brushing our teeth, making our bed, doing the dishes.

When we begin to see life through these eyes, everything is sacred. Celebrate the sacred in your life.

Grace and peace,
Deb

life

“The great affair, the love affair with life, is to live as variously as possible, to groom one’s curiosity like a high-spirited thoroughbred, climb abroad, and gallop over thick, sun- struck hills every day. Where there is no risk, the emotional terrain is flat and unyielding, and despite all its dimensions, valleys, pinnacles, and detours, life will seem to have none of its magnificent geography, only a length. It began in mystery, and it will end in mystery, but what a savage and beautiful country lies in between.”

Diane Ackerman

What life like for you? Something to be endured or something to be explored? I can find myself caught up in the drudgery of everyday, ordinary life and things can begin to creep in…like discontentment, frustration, envy, weariness….you get the picture. It can seem dull and dreary. Black and white.

And then, there are times when I feel as if I am awakened to the mystery and beauty that is my life. Everywhere I look, I am surprised by beauty, by glory, by breathtaking views, and marvelous made individuals. I open my eyes and the world is full of color, texture and adventure.

What has changed? Nothing except my perspective. I want to have a great love affair with life...with my life. Even on those days that hold pain and sorrow, valleys and detours, I want to drink it in and be aware of each moment, noticing how the God of the universe is meeting in the midst of it.

I invite you take a few minutes today and pay attention to how you are looking at your life. If you notice that it is black and white, offer a prayer to God asking Him to show the beauty that lies below the surface. If your life is awash in color, stop for moment and offer a prayer of thanks.

Consider living in the moment and galloping over the sun-struck hills that are the landscape of your life, a savage and beautiful country.

Grace and peace ~
Deb

trust

"In the West, religion became preoccupied with telling people what to know more than how to know, telling them what to see more than how to see."

Richard Rohr

Think back over most of your ‘Christian education”. Is this true for you? Were you taught more what to know than how to know? More what to see than how to see? It was true for me.

When we tell others what they need to know about God, we take away their belief in their ability to hear from God themselves. They can become dependent on others to tell them what they should believe and how to live that belief out. I wonder how many times this leads to fanaticism at worse or lemming-like behavior at best.
When we are told what to see, we are robbed of the gift of discovery and wonder. We don’t even try to see….we just accept what we are told. Life in this mode is un-inspiring and predictable. Is it any wonder that some people walk away from a Christian life that has become more about right behaviors than about a dynamic, exciting relationship with the God of the universe?

When we teach people how to know and how to see, we trust that God will teach them, God will show them what He has for them….which, surprise, surprise, may not be what we think they need to know or need to see. Trust is deepened all around – us in trusting God’s movement in their lives and them trusting that God wants to communicate with them directly. It is like the saying, “Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime”.
Give people the tools to discover and discern God’s movement and they will find the journey with Him dynamic, energetic and full of surprises.

Grace and peace ~
Deb

suffering

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”


There is pain in life. There is no way around it. This isn’t the way it was meant to be. There was no pain in the Garden.

All I need to do is look around…I am not living in the Garden any longer and so I have pain in my life. Thinking I can avoid pain is not choosing to live in reality.

I think what I do with the pain I encounter in life is the key. I am trying to look at pain through a different lens. Instead of asking “Why?” or even “What is God trying to teach me through this?”, I am trying to ask the question “Where can I see Jesus in this pain? How is He holding me in the midst of it?” I don’t just want to endure it…to get through it so I can learn the lesson on the other side. I want to be present during it, to be aware, to look at God’s hand in it.

Are you in the midst of a painful time? Are you struggling with why something painful happened in the past or why something painful is occurring right now? If so, I invite you to sit with God and ask Him to reveal Himself in the middle of it all…how is He carrying you even though you may not be able to sense Him? Consider journaling about those questions and resting in God as He slowly reveals the answers.

Grace and peace,
Deb

surrender

“Contemplative practice is a skill, a discipline that facilitates a process that is out one’s direct control, but it does not have the capacity to determine an outcome. A gardener for example, does not actually grow plants. The gardener practices finely-honed skills, such as cultivating soil, watering, feeding, weeding, pruning. But there is nothing the gardener can do to make the plants grow. However, if the gardener does not do what a gardener is supposed to do, the plants are not as likely to flourish. In fact, they might not grow at all. In the same way a sailor exercises considerable skill in sailing a boat. But nothing the sailor does can produce the wind that moves the boat. Yet without the sailing skills that harness the wind, the boat will move aimlessly. Gardening and sailing involve skills of receptivity. The skills are necessary but by themselves insufficient. And so it is with contemplative practice and the spiritual life generally.”

Martin Laird

The spiritual disciplines are not what create intimacy with Jesus. They create the space to nurture intimacy with Jesus. When we spend time in silence, solitude, prayer, lectio divina, etc., we open ourselves up to what God may want to do within us. The very act of being still in God’s presence is an act of surrender…surrender to our agenda, surrender to our dependency on words, surrender to Him. And the more we practice surrender, the more we open the way to true transformation.

Consider today what you are practicing that puts you in a place of surrender to God, that says to Him –“I am yours…do with me as you like.”

Grace and peace,
Deb

silence

As a rule, most people are afraid of silence. That’s our major barrier to prayer and to depth. Silence and words are related. Words that don’t come out of silence probably don’t say much. They probably are more an unloading than a communicating.
Yet good words can also feed silence. But even the word of God doesn’t bear a great deal of fruit—it doesn’t really break open the heart—unless it’s tasted and chewed, unless it’s felt and suffered and enjoyed at a level deeper than words. If you look for the citations of Mary Magdalene in the Gospels, she acts, waits, listens, and asks, and hardly ever “says.”

If I had to advise one thing for spiritual growth, it would be silence

Richard Rohr


I'll keep my thoughts to myself and let you be in silence with this....

poison

"Not forgiving is like swallowing rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.”

Anne Lamott

Living in a state of unforgiveness is poison to my soul. Why do I think that continuing to hold something against someone else hurts them? The reality is that often they don’t even know that I am upset. I’ve kept it to myself and feed it just a little each time I see them. Or, what about those things I am holding from years ago?

Although it is true that I can release someone else by forgiving them, the one I truly set free is me.

There is an antidote for the poison of unforgiveness….let it go.

Grace and peace,
Deb

reliance

“May all your expectations be frustrated. May all your plans be thwarted, that you may experience the powerlessness and poverty of a child and sing and dance in the love of God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.”


A prayer offered by a friend for Henri Nouwen

Complete dependence on God is what I want. I think about it, I can even do it for a few moments at a time. Then I forget. Especially when things are going well. But, in those times when I feel as if things are out of control, my thoughts turn to God. Those times increase my dependence on Him. But I want more than just a ‘lifeboat’ mentality. I want to be fully aware of God’s presence and sovereignty in my life every day. May it begin today.

Grace and peace,
Deb

trust

“Don’t spend a lot of time imagining the worst-case scenario. If it doesn’t happen, you have wasted time and energy and, if it does, you will have lived it twice.”

Michael J. Fox (paraphrase)

This weekend I was tuned into one of the morning shows and saw in interview with Michael J. Fox. He struggled with sitting during the interview, his body displaying the effects of Parkinson’s Disease. Despite the huge changes this disease has brought into his life, he sees it as gift. In fact, he calls it the gift that keeps on taking. He has a remarkable attitude.

I often, when teaching, speak on the subject of being in the moment. In class, look at the fact that we spend the majority of our time either thinking about something that has happened in the past or projecting what may happen in the future. When we are absorbed in either of those places, we are not present in the now and we are missing what, essentially, is our life.

When the interviewer asked him about what the future may hold for him, Fox shared the above quote. It stopped me in my tracks. I can find myself considering the worst case scenario. I tell myself that if I envision it and, if it happens, I will be prepared. I do this on amusement rides (what if a bolt breaks), airplanes ( what is that vibration?!), eating foods in foreign countries (exotic parasites), self-diagnosis (jaw pain becomes brain cancer), just to name a few. In the past I had already considered that if it didn’t happen, I had wasted time and energy thinking about it. I had not thought that, if I am obsessing about bolts, I am missing the fun of the ride. And, I certainly had not considered that if it did happen, I would have lived it twice! I am thinking that is not so good.

I believe my best option is to be in the now, in the present, and trust that God will give me what I need when I need it. The way I live my life everyday displays either my trust in God or lack thereof.

Can you think of an area of your life that keeps you projecting into the future? Can you stop running the worst case scenario and trust Him with the outcome? Perhaps you can pray this prayer with me today….

May I, today, be present to what God has for me in this moment and trust Him for whatever tomorrow brings.

Grace and peace,
Deb

friend

My heart aches for the burden you bear.
I cannot fathom its depths.
Pain untold as you witness your children languish in their own choices.
Sometimes I carry judgment ~
I want you to deal the way I would deal…
Or would I?
How can I know how I would react?
I try to imagine but the pain of it keeps me from staying there.
If I am unable to even pretend how it feels,
how can I bring any judgment to you?

How can I love you?
How can I support you?
How can I be Jesus with skin on to you?
How can I invite myself into your pain, your world?
How can I truly be myself with you when I am in a place of blessing?
How can share my joy?

I think all I can do is leave you to the Father and ask Him to hold you – hold you in all your pain – the pain I am too frail to hold.
He knows….
how to love you,
how to support you,
how to be in your world of pain.
Because of Him I can try to be Jesus with skin on.
A poor substitute but He can cover my lack.
My hearts aches for the burden you bear.

Love,
deb

prayer

“If prayer is seen as just another thing to do, another duty, another time to please someone else, it is important to reframe it. Silence and solitude is a time and place to relax and rest in God’s arms. It is a time to love and be loved. Even if one doesn’t feel this love, the idea of love should be held in the mind until it falls into the heart.”

Robert J Wicks

Prayer is more than talking at God. It is being in communion with Him. It is being loved by Him and expressing quiet love to Him. May you carve out some time, sit with Him and sense His love for you today.
Grace and peace ~
Deb