look out york

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.”

- Phyllis Diller

This was never my mom’s plan. Although I am sure she wanted us to do well, she never wanted to move in with us. This was one of the things we discussed, in detail, when it seemed she might move.

She had made the decision to spend a couple of days in a hotel in York, before going into assisted living, to ease into her new living arrangements. She called this ‘transition’ time which is code for “I want to smoke!” My mom has smoked on and off for most of her life. It’s been on for the past 15 – 20 years…a lot. Her assisted living facility doesn’t allow smoking. So she wanted a couple of days to end her affair. Well…she picked the right hotel. Or, maybe I should say I picked the right hotel. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a hotel that allows smoking anymore? Pretty hard. But I found one. When I took her to drop her off, I felt bad. Think of a bad hotel…then multiply the ‘gross’ factor by about 100. This was the kind of hotel where you wouldn’t even want to sit on the bed without one of those nifty paper toilet seat covers. I wondered if people in the lobby thought, “Why would someone leave her mother here?”.

The next morning I went to pick her up for breakfast. She got in the car and said, “Guess what I found in my room?” The answers that went through my mind were varied and scary. But every one of them was wrong. She found a packaged condom…in with the TV guide….yep – this was the right hotel for an affair. I told her that I was sure the proprietors of this hotel were not use to people taking a room for several days – several hours was probably more the norm.

The morning of the third day, I went to pick her up for her move into assisted living. I walked into her room and her suitcase was on the bed. She rifled through it and collected numerous packs of cigarettes. She put them in a plastic bag along with her lighter and handed it to me. After well over a decade, she just handed them over. I don’t think I appreciated how tough that was until doctor after doctor has told her how amazed they are that she was able to stop smoking, cold turkey.
She gave up her home and she gave up her addiction to nicotine, all within five days. I think, in some ways, I was only just beginning to see her incredible hidden strength….strength that she doesn’t even know she has…but my prayer is that she is beginning to.

Grace and peace,
Deb

the move

"It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches."

— Lemony Snicket

When my mom came for her visit in the summer of 2008, we went to see several assisted living facilities. There was one that she liked better than the rest and she put her name on the waiting list.

It wouldn’t be until the summer of 2009 that she would make a final decision to move to PA. I booked my ticket out to AZ, to spend a couple of days, before heading to York, to help her finish up packing and take care of final details - close out bank accounts, gather medical information and walk my mom through leaving the only home she had known for the past 20 years….years of independence, years of memories and years of sunshine.

She had made the decision she didn’t want to spend the last night in her home, so we made plans to stay at a hotel near the airport. I had underestimated how hard it would be for her to walk out of the door to her home for the last time and get in the car. She tried to put on a brave face but tears began to run down her cheeks. I choked back my own tears as I watched her say goodbye to all she had known for so long. Although I knew it was the right choice, I also admit to some feelings of guilt in encouraging her to do this and felt responsible for what she was feeling right now. We definitely were not going around the corner for ice cream.
I think we both put in a restless night and then boarded our flight for PA the next morning. The flight itself was uneventful (by that I mean there was no nose pinching or fish blowing). But, little did I know that would be one of last uneventful days I would have. Welcome to York, mom…..the adventure begins. To be continued…..

Grace and peace,
Deb

skin

“When I hear people talk about what is wrong with organized religion, or why their mainline churches are failing, I hear about bad music, inept clergy, mean congregations, and preoccupations with institutional maintenance. I almost never hear about the intellectualization of the faith, which strikes me as a far greater danger than anything else on the list. In an age of information overload, when a vast variety of media delivers news faster than most of us can digest – when many of us have at least two e-mail addresses, two telephone numbers, and one fax number – the last thing any of us needs is more information about God. We need the practice of incarnation, by which God saves the lives of those whose intellectual assent has turned as dry as dust, who have run frighteningly low on the bread of life, who are dying to know more of God in their bodies. Not more about God. More God.

Barbara Brown Taylor
An Altar in the World

In chapter three, The Practice of Wearing Skin, Taylor explores how we live out our faith in our bodies. She erases the illusion of separateness between the spiritual life and the physical body. Approaching our spirituality from a more holistic perspective exposes the fallacy of increased knowledge of God resulting in transformation. Knowledge isn’t bad – it is just insufficient.

It is no accident that Jesus came as a man – a man with flesh, bones, muscles, blood, nerves and emotions. He came, wearing skin, just as we wear skin. It as much as part of His divinity as was His spirit…and so for us.

Today – do not seek more information about God – seek more of God. Notice how you might live out your faith, using your body as a gift offering back to God and to others. Thank Him today for the work your body allows you to do. And may you begin to see the wearing of skin as a beautiful spiritual practice.

Grace and peace,
Deb

transcendence

“Life is difficult
This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it--then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”

M. Scott Peck
I know so many friends who are going through difficult times. Often, as Christ followers, we have been taught that life will be good, absent of most difficulties, if we are living in God’s will. Where did we get such an idea?
Life is life. That means it will sometimes be better than we could ever have imagined and sometimes it will be more painful than we think we can survive. We live in a fallen world.
But, I believe that Peck is on to something. The more we struggle against the difficulty, the more it consumes us. When we look for God’s grace in the midst of the struggle, we focus much less on the struggle itself and more on the God we cling to within it. That is transcendence…moving into and through the difficulty where God meets us.

Grace and peace,
Deb

listening

“Many of us prefer listening to a pastor or a speaker rather than training ourselves to sit in quiet and listen to God.”


Jan Johnson

I wonder why this is? I think, for me, it is because listening to someone else speak is, for the most part, a passive activity. There is the ‘active’ piece of paying attention but because their voice is verbal and audible, we can take it in.

When I listen to God, it becomes more active even though I am silent and listening. It takes so much more of my resolve to listen to that ‘still small voice’. I not only need to be in silence and solitude, I need to bring something to this time. I bring the work of surrender. I need to abandon myself to the work of God and sit quietly and let Him ‘speak to me’. It is not audible but it comes in pieces through the days and weeks to come. It is a mosaic…a beautiful puzzle that I can begin to see parts of through circumstances, relationships, readings, movies, sermons and other surprises that come in all different ways.

Do not neglect listening to those who are in a position to speak truth into your life…but I invite you to not substitute it for listening to the One who created truth.

Grace and peace,
Deb

visit

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

~Ambrose Bierce
1 ½ years ago, I got a phone call that shocked me. My mom called to say she wanted to come for a visit. That may not seem like a big deal but she had not been to my neck of the woods in over 20 years. Her health has never been great making it tough to travel but she also is not a big fan of flying. Every year we would do the same dance. I would call and invite her to Christmas and she would say, “I don’t feel well enough to travel.” I honestly thought I would never see her in Pennsylvania. Two or three times a year I would travel to AZ to spend time with her. She was always very gracious, paying for my trip but it wasn’t the same as having her here. So this call was monumental….and quite the logistical challenge.
I had told her if she ever wanted to come I would fly out to AZ, get her, bring her back to PA, then fly her back afterward. So, the night she called, I immediately made the reservations….I didn’t want her to change her mind!
I flew out in August. I spent one day there and then we began our travel back to PA. Our adventure began. I got her to the rental car return in AZ and she fell off a curb hitting her leg on the bus for the terminal. Great start, Deb. We got to the terminal, checked in our luggage and got her wheelchair. Things went well through security. We were able to board first – because we had a wheelchair – and because she flew us back first class. Sweet. :0)
Once seated, we waited for the rest of the passengers to board. She was bit impatient, asking when we were going to take off. At one point she turned to me and said, “I think we are moving”. I looked out and said, ‘No mom – it’s the taxiway moving.’ Finally the plane did begin move. I heard something, looked over and saw her closing her eyes tightly, had her nose plugged and was blowing out of her mouth like a fish! I said “What are you doing?” in that hushed tone you use with little children who are beginning to misbehave. She stopped and said her doctor had told her to do this so her ears wouldn’t hurt. I explained that she might want to try that when we actually in the air and ready to land…that blowing air out like a fish would not really benefit her when we were still taxi-ing on the tarmac. It took some convincing but she finally stopped…thank goodness! We laughed and laughed about that all the way home.
Little did I know that laughter would be such a part of our relationship. In the midst of some pretty difficult things, we continue to laugh. It has been an unexpected gift.
Oh yeah…as soon as the pilot said we had begun our descent into Baltimore, she began the eye closing, nose pinching, fish breathing until we landed and guess what? Her ears didn’t hurt and thank goodness, she didn’t hyperventilate either.
May you laugh today.
Grace and peace,
Deb

mudpies

“Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desire, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

C.S. Lewis

What have you settled for? What mud pies are you making while your holiday at the ocean awaits? Anytime you settle for less than what God wants for you….anytime you settle for less than who God means for you to be, you are playing with mud pies. Ask Him to give you a glimpse of the ocean…the desire to ‘go on your holiday’ and the ability to experience infinite joy.

Grace and peace,
Deb

too much talking

“Some of the most reverent people I know decline to call themselves religious. For them, religion connotes belief. It means being able to say what you mean about God and why. It also means being able to hold your own in a debate with someone who believes otherwise. They, meanwhile, are not sure what they believe. They do not want to debate anyone. The longer they stand before the holy of holies, the less adequate their formulations of faith seems to them. Angels reach down and shut their mouths.”

Barbara Brown Taylor
An Altar in the World

This quote in out of the first chapter, The Practice of Paying Attention. This is what my life feels like now. I have less and less desire to debate theological issues. I am less able to articulate what I know about God and why. There are some things I believe to my core – the truth about who Jesus is and that I need Him. The truth that God loves me more than I can ever comprehend. The truth that I am both an exquisite creature made in the image of God and a reckless sinner who lives under the curse of the Fall. The truth that tells me to love God and love others. The rest is mystery to me. Mystery I cannot figure out. Mystery that I do not feel the need to figure out.

It feels as if the closer I get to God the less I know anything. I do not feel I can adequately know what He is, who He is, how He moves. So, I try to just lean into what I do know. The rest I am content to leave up to those who enjoy the debate.

Some ask me why I do not talk as much as I used to…could it be that angels have come down and shut my mouth? I am not sure if that is the explanation but it sounds good to me.

Grace and peace,
Deb

waiting

This is a beautiful poem speaking of the virtue of waiting. Allow yourself to sit with it today and see where God may be speaking to you.

Slowly,
she celebrated the sacrament of letting go
first she surrendered her green
then the orange, yellow and red
finally she let go of her brown
shedding her last leaf
she stood empty and silent, stripped bare.
leaning against the winter sky
she began her vigil of trust.

Shedding her last leaf
she watched its journey to the ground.
she stood in silence
wearing the color of the emptiness,
her branches wondering:
how do you give shade with so much gone?
And then,
the sacrament of waiting began.
The sunrise and sunset watched with tenderness.
clothing her with silhouettes
they kept her hope alive.

They helped her understand that
her vulnerability
her dependence and need
her emptiness
her readiness to receive
were giving her a new kind of beauty.
Every morning and every evening
they stood in silence
and celebrated together
the sacrament of waiting!

Macrina Wiederkehr

Grace and peace,
Deb

awareness

One thing I want to increase is my awareness of God. I seem to forget that He is always near me, always speaking to me, always loving me. It’s like the verse in James that talks about a man (or woman!) looking in a mirror and then walking away and forgetting what he, or she, looks like. It seems like that sometimes, for me. There are things I know about God and about how He wants to be with me. I can think about it, talk about it, experience it and then within ten minutes, forget it. I don’t forget-forget, but it leaves my awareness.

I had written this in my journal;

“Our striving to be close to God is not so much a journey of finding Him but it is more of a journey of consciousness. He is here and He is in me in all the fullness I could ever imagine but I am not aware of the depth of it…right now I can see only glimpses of it…glimpses of heaven.”


My prayer today is that I would be more and more aware of God’s presence and movements in my life. I love praying a prayer that I know is close to God’s heart.

Consider taking a few moments this day to invite God to allow you to have a deeper consciousness of Him and His presence as He gives you glimpses of heaven.

Blessings,
Deb

sing your song

My life flows on in endless song above earth’s lamentations;
I hear the real though far-off hymn that hails a new creation.
No storm can shake my inmost calm while to that rock I am clinging;
while love is Lord o’er heaven and earth how can I keep from singing?

Tradition Quaker Hymn

Sing your song today.

Grace and peace, Deb

creativity

“And what of the human heart’s capacity to understand God? Here we need the help of passionate visionaries such as Dostoevsky. Sacred scripture is too important to be left exclusively to biblical scholars. Theology is too vital to be consigned solely to the province of theologians. To explore the depths of the God who invites our trust, we need artists and mystics……”

“Send in the artists, mystics and clowns. Their fertile imagination pours the new wine of the gospel into fresh wineskins (Luke 5:38). With fresh language, poetic vision and striking symbols, they express God’s inexpressible Word in artistic forms that are charged with the power of God, engaging our minds and stirring our hearts as they flare and flame.”

Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust




I have many friends who are artists. Some act, some write, some paint, some draw, some make jewelry, some sing. I am always in awe of them. I draw ‘stick’ people. I paint walls. I make very basic jewelry that may fall apart by the end of the day. I have done some acting, some singing and some writing but I have never really considered myself an artist. Until recently.

God has given one of my friends a vision of providing a place for regular people like you and me, to discover the artist within. She believes that we all have an artistic side. We just need encouragement and a safe place to experiment. She sees each of us as an expression of God’s creativity and we, being made in God’s image, have that same creativity inside. Hmmm….maybe I am an artist. My ‘stick’ people may just have a beauty all their own.

What is inside of you waiting for the chance to express itself? Have you tried and been discouraged by someone else's comment or even your own voice telling you that you are not an artist? I invite you to listen to what God is calling you to…and how He wants you to express it. Remember…you’re expressing what is inside of you for the audience of One.

And...check out deAnn's website ( my artist friend) at http://blog.verticalcreativity.org/

grace and peace,
Deb

welcome to york

My mom is literally a part of me. You can't say that about many people except relatives, and organ donors.

~Carrie Latet

Some of you may know that last August, I moved my mom from Arizona to Pennsylvania so she could be closer to family. A little history here might help. My parents divorced over 20 years ago. Together, they lived in Ohio. After the divorce, my mom picked up lock, stock and barrel and moved to Arizona. She had always loved the desert and everything ‘western’ including horses and cowboys.…and Arizona has a lot of cowboys! (She likes the idea of cowboys – not actually being with cowboys – I don’t want you to get the wrong idea! She swore off men after the divorce). She loves Arizona. But in the past five years her health has begun to deteriorate. She has high blood pressure, diabetes, COPD and congestive heart failure and those are just the things that could kill her. She has so many other issues that we almost need to hire an assistant to keep it all straight.

Our journey together has been challenging to say the least. She was raised by parents who loved her but had no idea how to express that love to her. As much as they loved her, they struggled to love each other. Add alcoholism into the mix and you have a chaotic family dynamic that left little to room to nurture the needs, let alone the dreams, of a young girl. To understand my mom, you need to understand her history….and what is part of my history.

You may be asking yourself ‘what’s this story is doing in my blog on contemplative spirituality’? Well, let me tell you. I’ve spend a lot of time writing about how my time with God impacts my actual living out life and my life with mom is one way God is speaking into and moving through my life.

It is also important for you to know that I write about this subject with her permission. It was either this or develop a standup comedy routine…you cannot believe all the material I have! The blog seemed the easier choice. So, with her blessing, I will begin to share, in bits and pieces, both funny and touching stories of how God has brought us back together in so many ways. I think you will cry – either because you are laughing…. or because you identify with the tragedy that is passed down generationally, the hard work of the breaking of unhealthy patterns and the beauty of forgiveness and healing.

May you come to see parts of yourself and relationships in your life and either recognizing where God has already provided healing and redemption or how God may be calling you to move towards restoration or peace.

Mom – I dedicate these pieces to you – I honor your willingness to leave all that you knew and come to share in my life and the lives of my family. I know it was one of the hardest things you have done, but I am so glad you are here. You have provided me with endless material to write about. :0)
Love,
deb

read

“My life depends on ignoring all touted distinctions between the secular and the sacred, the physical and the spiritual, the body and the soul. What is saving my life now is becoming more fully human, trusting that there is no way to God apart from real life in the real world.”

Barbara Brown Taylor

This is the book I have chosen to highlight first. It is so hard to choose because there are so many books I love, but this is the one I have read most recently and I totally devoured it. I want to bring something to you from each chapter over a period of time. This quote comes from the introduction.

In this book, Barbara Brown Taylor walks through ways to be aware of the movements of God in the ordinary things of life – places we might not think to look for Him. She explores areas like being in our bodies, the act of walking, the joys and challenges of relationships, the discipline of saying ‘no’, the sacrament of our pain…..all from the perspective of considering them as spiritual practices.
For example, in her quote above, she highlights the fact that God is not separate from our real world. So many times, I have been taught that God…or the Kingdom of God…is somewhere out there. Although the Holy Spirit dwells within, God reveals Himself in innumerable ways. I tend to look only what I consider sacred places. I may think He is more evident in the spiritual rather than the physical. Or that He is interested in my soul but not so much in my body.

The reality is – He is everywhere and part of everything…while He is inside me, the evidence of God is all around me.

Today, may you allow the distinctions between all things secular and sacred to fade away. May you pay attention to the physical aspects of the world and notice the spiritual contained within and may you honor your body as you nurture your soul.

Grace and peace,
Deb

the sacrament of reading

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

~Groucho Marx

I LOVE BOOKS. I need BA – Books Anonymous. I need a sponsor. If there was a book rehab – I should probably check in. I love the look of them, the feel of them, and the smell of them. I know, right now there are those of you who do not see books in the same way I do and perhaps think I need to check into some different kind of program. 
I like books so much that I was overwhelmed when Borders moved into our community. I can spend hours there. I could move in and live there. There is something almost sacred, to me, just walking into that space. Being surrounded by all that knowledge, all those ideas, all those words strung together to make eloquent sentences, telling riveting stories. I even have applied for a position there…two times…and never heard back. What’s up with that? I imagine they would say “You are over qualified.” Who are they to make that call??? But, I think the reason is more God’s idea of an intervention. The thought of being able to get books at a discount would push me off the edge for sure. I mean – who needs to eat when you have a great book to read? And…if I could somehow live at Borders I wouldn’t have to pay for housing….hmmmmm. But, Borders does have its limits. In recent years they have drastically reduced their inventory of spiritual reading and journals. Very sad to me indeed.
My favorite bookstore – especially for spiritual books… is Hearts and Minds in Dallastown, Pa. When I walk in there, I take my book addiction to new heights. The quaint store has shelves literally crammed with books. It is like book Mecca. Byron, Beth and the rest of the staff are so knowledgeable and helpful. If they don’t have it, they will track it down and find it. But, half the fun there is searching for the book you came for and walking out with four other books you have just realized you can’t live without. They just seem to beg you to take them home, like puppies at the pound. And, I appreciate that they stock books that are a bit edgy – not the safe Christian books that tend to be mainstream but books that stretch you and push you to see God and the world in a new way.
Ok…all this to say that I feel compelled to share some of my absolute best reads with you. You often get quotes from my favorite authors (Groucho Marx isn’t one of them…I found that most excellent quote on a website) and I thought some of you might like to hear more about the entire book. So – I will be sending some reading suggestions your way. Take them or….leave them. Maybe you have more restraint than I do. Or, perhaps I will help create new book addicts – maybe we could create a support group?
grace and peace,
Deb
Hearts and Minds Bookstore’s website:
www.heartsandmindsbooks.com

sabbath

no post today ~ enjoy your sabbath

desire

Do you really want to live your lives,
every moment of your lives, in His Presence?
Do you long for Him? Crave Him?
Do you love His Presence?
Does every drop of blood in your body love Him?
Does every breathe you draw breathe a prayer, a praise to Him?
Do you sing and dance within yourselves, as you glory in His love?
Have you set yourselves to be His, and only His,
walking every moment in Holy obedience?

Thomas Kelly
A Testament of Devotion



How can one possibly live like this? For me, it isn’t a lack of desire. I so desire an intimate relationship with God. I know that I don’t ‘breathe a prayer’ every time I draw a breath (at least not consciously). I have ‘gloried’ in His love, at times, but I definitely don’t walk in obedience every waking moment. So, reading something like this can be discouraging.

But, I don’t think God wants us to be discouraged by these words. In fact, I think He wants us to be very encouraged as this is what we can aspire to. I used to give up after a day or two of trying to live up to words like these. In the last several years, I began to sense that God was only asking me to have the desire to live this way. He knows that, because I live in this fallen world, I will continue to struggle with brokenness and sin.

What I’ve noticed is that the more I desire intimacy with Him and set my intention on that, the more I realize I am living closer to the way He wants me to. Less effort, more change. It’s the Holy Sprit working in and through me…it is not because of my own efforts. Not that I don’t need to be open and cooperate with this work but it is so much less work when I let God take the lead.

I invite you to think about asking God to stir that deep desire in you for more intimacy with Him. It will be the beginning of a new season in your spiritual life. If you already have the desire for more, enjoy it and move with it as it takes you into a deeper place of being with Him.
Peace,Deb

life

“Life is just a chance to grow a soul.”
A.Powell Davies

Life is filled with all kinds of stuff. Wow…I must be in a eloquent mood today! But it is true. There are the wonders of family…a great husband, children who actually want to be in my life, grandchildren who bring a new and unexpected joy to my days….to the gift of friendships, rich and textured, speaking love and encouragement into my life….the meaning of vocation, being free to use my gifts and abilities to usher others into a deeper relationship with our Creator…. the presence of beauty, art, music, color, fabric, nature. I could go on and on.

And then there is the part of life that is filled with pain. The loss of life, relationships, youth, hopes, dreams, health. The visions of the world’s groaning…poverty in India, genocide in Darfur, AIDS in Africa. The brokenness of the Fall lived out in Technicolor. Sometimes, it all keeps me awake at night.

But this is the stuff of life. The good, the bad and the ugly. And it is all part of what makes us who we are. Not so much what we experience but how we respond to it.

May you embrace all of it. May you be awake to all of it. May you love deeply and may you hurt over the things that break the heart of God. May your soul be shaped life…a life entwined with God.

Grace and peace,
Deb

empty tombs

“Leave yourself alone. Enter solitude. Be silent. Do your good deeds in secret. Make dead space into holy ground.

You will become less, it’s true. But you will also become more: you will discover your true self and meet more often, lose less often, the Lord of the holy wild. For out of empty tombs and dead spaces comes the living Christ. Be still and know that He is God.”

Mark Buchanan

“For out of empty tombs and dead spaces comes the living Christ”. How encouraging is that? I know that many days, I feel like an empty tomb. I feel as if I’m filled with dead space. I feel as if I don’t have one more good thing to give, to say, to do, left within me.

Those are the days that I know I am trying to do it on my own. I’m not consciously tuning God out…I’m just not being intentional about sitting with Him, about getting myself out of the way. When I try to be present with God, I am so much more aware of Him being the One who works in and through me and that what I am able to do is because of Him. It is in Him that I live and move and have my being.

Today…do you feel like an empty tomb? Do feel like you are hollow inside…filled with only dead space? Remind yourself that the Creator of the universe, the One who made the foundations of the earth, who crafted the mountains and carved out the seas….lives within you. And…that makes you the bearer of the Christ. Move and live and have your being this day resting in that knowledge.

Grace and peace,
Deb

fresh start

“Is there anyone I can level with? Anyone I dare tell that I am benevolent and malevolent, chaste and randy, compassionate and vindictive, selfless and selfish, that beneath my brave words lives a frightened child, that I dabble in religion and pornography, that I have blackened a friend’s character, betrayed a trust, violated a confidence, that I am tolerant and thoughtful, a bigot and a blowhard, that I hate hard rock?”

Brennen Manning
Ruthless Trust

I think this quote hits home for all of us. I know it does for me. I was talking with a friend the other day. We were talking about how, sometimes, we can hardly believe that God doesn’t just smite us (don’t hear that word everyday, now do ya!), that we both have thoughts, attitudes and behaviors that we know aren’t what God would want of us. But, the amazing thing is that He waits…He waits for us to come around, to acknowledge those things within ourselves, turn back to Him and allow His love to enfold us, once again. He knows that we live and move in a fallen, broken world and that no matter how much we try, we will never be fully whole until we see Him face to face. That means we will never be free of the struggle that Brennan Manning describes but it also means that there is hope and forgiveness found in God’s love.

May today be a fresh start for you. Know that we all struggle with the ‘dark’ stuff in our hearts but also know that God is waiting for you, desiring you to move back toward Him. Allow yourself to experience His love today.

Grace and peace,
Deb

awareness

One of my favorite authors is Ken Gire. He has a way of helping me learn to pay attention to the movements of God in my life. He has written numerous devotional books. The first book I read by him is an excellent book called, Seeing What is Sacred: Becoming More Sensitive to the Everyday Moments of Life, (old title - The Reflective Life) that is written, specifically, to help you become more aware.

I want to share a quote from him:

"He[God] has much to say, not only from the Scriptures but from the circumstances of our everyday lives. However prosaic the pages of our lives may seem at first reading, within the lines or in between the lines God may be speaking. Every book we read, every movie we see, every person we talk with, every song we listen to, every moment in our lives, in fact, should be subjects for reflection and could be ways through which God is speaking."


Consider asking God to help you today...help you pay attention to where/how He may be speaking to you, perhaps speaking in ways you had not considered before. Feel free to share what you noticed.


May you see Him in a different way today.

grace and peace,

Deb

imagine

"There is something beautiful about a billion stars held steady by a God who knows what He is doing. (They hang there, the stars, like notes on a page of music, free-form verse, silent mysteries swirling in the blue like jazz.) And as I lay there, it occurred to me that God is up there somewhere. Of course, I had always known He was, but this time I felt it, I realized it, the way a person realizes they are hungry or thirsty. The knowledge of God seeped out of my brain and into my heart. I imagined Him looking down on this earth, half angry because His beloved mankind had cheated on Him, had committed adultery, and yet hopelessly in love with her, drunk with love for her."

— Donald Miller

Allow yourself to spend some time with this quote today. What do you notice? What part of it moves you? Upsets you? Consider journaling about those things, paying attention to what you are feeling and then offer it all up in a prayer to God.

grace and peace,
deb

sabbath

no post today - enjoy your sabbath

shhhhhhhh

"But the LORD is in his holy Temple.
Let all the earth be silent before him.”

Hab 2:20 NLT


Silence. What a rare commodity. I am more and more convinced that living a life of intimacy with Jesus is near impossible without the commitment to spending time in silence.

Without it, we can do his work, we can talk about him, we can study him. But to hear his voice, we must learn to be still…to listen…to be silent. Unfortunately, we settle for work, talk and study. Somehow it seems easier.

If silence is new to you, begin with one minute a day. Just sit…no noise, no outward distractions. Just sit. That’s all.

Shhhhhhh,
Deb

heaven

Heaven is all around us...we only need to look.

Grace and peace,
Deb

sit

“If we begin to worship and come to God, again and again by meditating, by reading, by prayer, and by obedience, little by little God becomes known to us through experience. We enter into familiarity with God, and by tasting how sweet the Lord is we pass into . . loving God, not for our own sake, but for Himself.”

Saint Bernard of Clairvaux

When is the last time you “experienced” God? When is the last time you felt His love for you? When is the last time you sensed Him speaking to you?

If you haven’t experienced God this way, consider spending some time in silence, every day. Begin with several minutes and add time as it seems right. Let your only request during that time be “God… I want to meet with you here, in this moment”…and sit.

Even if you ‘feel’ nothing, know that He is answering that simple prayer and that your spirit is being refreshed by Him.

Grace and peace,
Deb

quest

you seem so far away from me today.
just out of reach.
or maybe i’m the one who is out of reach.
out of touch.
what is it that makes you so hard to see?
i need new eyes, spiritual eyeballs that look past
the bills that need paying
and the car that needs fixing
and the emails that keep coming
to see what lies beyond.
eyes that can see in the dark.
and through the dark
to you.

i’ve been looking
in the wrong place all this time –
in myself rather than in you,
within this world rather than
beyond it where the kingdom
of God resides, where you live,
and secretly smile at my shortsightedness –
and wait.
i’m glad you’re so patient.

quest


Steven James

tears

Help me, O God,
give me the courage to cry.
Help me understand that tears bring
freshly washed colors arching across the soul,
colors that wouldn’t be there apart from the rain.
Help me to see in the prism of my tears,
something of the secret of who I am.
Give me the courage
not only to see what those tears are revealing
but to follow where they are leading.
And help me to see,
somewhere over the rainbow,
that where they lead me is home….

Ken Gire

presence

“To care means first of all to be present to each other. From experience you know that those who care for you become present to you. When they listen, they listen to you. When they speak, you know they speak to you. And when they ask questions you know it is for your sake and not for their own. Their presence is a healing presence because they accept you on your terms, and they encourage you to take your own life seriously….”

Henri Nouwen

Who does this for you? Who is this presence in your life? Who do you allow to speak into your life with truth and grace? If you are fortunate enough to have this, offer up a word of thanks to God. If you don’t, offer up a prayer asking Him to send someone to you.

Grace and peace,
Deb