control

St Ignatius of Loyola notes that sin is unwillingness to trust that what God wants is our deepest happiness. Until I am absolutely convinced of this I will do everything I can to keep my hands on the controls of my life, because I think I know better than God what I need for my fulfillment.

David Benner


Wow….that says a lot to me. Unfortunately, it’s true. Anytime I can think of where I have ‘done it my way’, it is because I don’t fully trust God to do it ‘right.’ Of course I will give him lip service….I’ll say I trust him but one needs look no further than my latest manipulation of things to see that I doubt. I don’t doubt his ability to do it…just that he would do it for me….or that he will do in time (that would be my timetable of course!).

I may seem like I am being hard on myself. And, I have seen improvements. But I know the depth of shadows in my heart. I know what I am capable of. I know that it is only because of God’s intervention in my life that I am able to yield to him and slowly learn to trust.

This trust is something I want to know deep down in my soul…not just in my head. I want to trust him with everything, not just the things that are easy or convenient. Thankfully, God is very patient with me and knows that I want to trust completely in him.

Where are you in your journey of trusting God? Are you like me, taking things into your own hands when you think he won’t come through for you or you think he is not working fast enough? I invite you to assess your level of trust with God and consider, if, like me, you may want to be more aware of how much he loves you, how much he wants your deepest happiness and then allow him to have more and more of the control.

Grace and Peace,
Deb