weight

Don’t think God has ordained you to carry the entire space – time universe on your own back. God created it. God sustains it and God intends that ‘the government will be upon his shoulder’.

Boston Businessman

Do you ever feel like me and think the world will fall off it’s axis if you don’t do everything you are doing? Even if you haven’t ever thought of it like that, if you stop and think of it, is that the way you live your life?

Most women just go and go and go. We carry everything. Stuff from the family, stuff from work, stuff from ministry….. And, when we do this, we don’t have the time or the energy to focus on the things that God does want us to attend to.

I think this is part of the fall…part of thinking we are like God; the thinking that ‘if we don’t do it, it won’t get done’. For me, it also speaks to lack of trust….in God. I don’t like to say that but I think it’s true. If I feel I have to do everything, that means I don’t think God is capable of doing it…or that He needs me help.

I am trying to relax in Him and trying to build some margins into my day so I have time for Him; not time ‘doing’ something for Him but time just being with Him.

If you say to yourself that you don’t have time to be with God, consider giving some thought to how you might have your priorities ordered. Consider letting God be God and taking some of the weight off your shoulders.

Grace and peace,
Deb

holy

As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God's life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, "I am holy; you be holy."

1 Peter 1:13

I invite you to take some time today and sit with this scripture. Ask God to share with you what he wants you to notice and offer the time to Him. Then read the verse several times, slowly. Notice what moves you and write it down in your journal. Spend some time reflecting on its meaning for you and then offer it back as prayer to God. Finish your time with a few moments of being silent and allow His truth to sink deep in to your heart.

Grace and peace,
Deb

becoming

“In the care of souls, I am far more interested in who people are and who they are becoming in Christ than I am in what they know or what they are doing.”

Eugene Peterson

I need to live this out. I do need to be more concerned with who people are than with what they know or what they do.

But the line that moves me the most is “who they are becoming in Christ.” I am ashamed to admit that I often focus on who they have not yet become. Why do you think we do that to each other? Not give each other the benefit of the doubt. Not look at each other through the lens that God uses.

And…not only do I do that to other people, I do it to myself. It is so much easier to see what I am doing wrong…how I am falling short than to think of who I am ‘becoming’ in Jesus.

This quote challenges me to love others and to love myself. It challenges me to be more gentle and more gracious in my responses to the sin and brokenness I see in others….and in myself.

May you see the person that you are becoming in God. May you see the beautiful work He is doing in others….may you recognize redemption when you witness it.

Grace and peace,
Deb

art:
Metamorphis" by Donna Elio.

stillness

“Living without speaking is better than speaking without living. For a person who lives rightly helps us by silence, while one who talks too much annoys us. If, however, words and life go hand in hand, that is the perfection of all philosophy.”

Abba Isidore of Pelusia

I think I talk too much. I talk less now than I used to, but I think it is still too much. I sense God calling me to talk less and listen more…not only to Him, but to others as well. I have been aware of this for the past two years. Sometimes I am more conscious of it than others but it is becoming more natural.

One problem with being an extrovert who is discovering the beauty of silence and solitude…people want to know if you are “ok”. Once you find yourself turning down some invitations, being quiet during dinner or measuring your words in conversation, they assume there is something wrong. Sometimes I am disciplining myself, being careful to speak with purpose and not just fill the space with words. Sometimes I am in a ‘quiet’ mood and sometimes, I even sense God asking me to be still, in the midst of being with others.

I wonder how many people I annoyed with going on and on about something? I wonder if there were times when someone wanted to say “Would you just be quiet”? I wonder if there were times when it seemed as if all I did was talk about myself….

What I know is that God is calling me to a place of being still…both in my spiritual life and in my social life.

Is He inviting you to a place of quiet? What would that look like for you? What would change? Consider practicing stillness….and see how God speaks.

Grace and peace,
Deb

in the present moment

“Spirituality is the sacred center of which all life comes, including Mondays and Tuesdays and rainy Saturday afternoons in all their mundane and glorious details.”

Christina Baldwin

God is everywhere and in everything. Every moment has something of Him in it. All we need to do is be aware and be looking for it.

He is not only found in those activities we see as ‘sacred’ but also in the mundane….the everyday tasks we do with out even thinking about. Brushing our teeth, making our bed, doing the dishes.

When we begin to see life through these eyes, everything is sacred. Celebrate the sacred in your life.

Grace and peace,
Deb

sabbath

No post today ~ enjoy the sabbath

serenity

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Sometimes this is really hard for me. I am getting better at accepting things I cannot change. And I am getting better at changing the things I can. Where I struggle, at times, is knowing the difference.
A friend of mine, Pastor John Stringer, explained it this way; he drew two concentric circles. Inside the smaller circle is ‘my responsibility’….the outer circle is labeled ‘my concern’. Whatever falls within the smaller circle are those things I have some control over. What falls in the outer circle are things that I care about but, ultimately, have little control over. When he shared this with me, it was evident that I had spent a lot of my time and energy focused on those things I have no control over.
Now, I try to take some time and access where my energy needs to be expended. Is the situation that is bothering me something I can do anything about or is it out of my control? Once I sit down and take the time to think it through, I am better at letting go of those things I can’t change or move forward on the things I can impact.
Are there things in your life that you are frustrated by? Things you want to change but don’t seem to be able to? Maybe they are things you can’t change…you have no power to change. Consider weighing the circumstances by this standard…figure out what falls within your realm of responsibility and what falls within the area of your concern. If you can do something to change the situation, do it. If not, offer it up to God in prayer and ask Him to work as He chooses. These decisions will create an atmosphere of serenity in your life.

Grace and peace,
Deb

risk

“Fear not that your life will come to an end…fear rather that it will never come to a beginning.”

Cardinal Newman

For many years, I lived my life in such a way as to avoid my fears. I’d only try things I felt I would succeed at. I wouldn’t fly (on two separate occasions I took a train across the country for three days – one way!). I would hear God speaking to me but I was like Moses….I was full of excuses about why I couldn’t do what he was asking me to do….why he must have had me confused with someone else.

Over ten years ago I heard God asking me to step out. To fly. Not metaphorically but literally. He was asking me to get on a plane and fly to Romania. Not Ohio, but Romania. The Romania that is over there across the ocean. The ocean….that place where you really can’t land a plane. But this time, I said ‘yes’. It was a big, fat, scary yes, but a yes all the same. It took prayer, friends, and Xanax to ‘git ‘er done’. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done but also one of the most life changing. That one decision opened up a world to me that I could have only imagined before. It helped shape the ministry God wanted me to be involved in and also impacted my confidence to say ‘yes’ to Him even when I doubt my own ability.

Two years ago, I said another big ‘yes’ to God. I sensed Him asking me to develop this ministry for women. He gave me the retreat format and asked me to step out and offer it. I wasn’t sure what the outcome would or will be but I said ‘yes’. I recognize that this ministry is His…I’m only managing it for Him.

Are you living your life held back by fear? Do you sense God asking you to do something? What is holding you back? I invite you to give your fear to Jesus and trust Him to carry you through whatever He is calling you to do. Risk it. Consider living an outrageous life with Jesus.

Grace and peace,
Deb

expectation

“Read with a vulnerable heart. Expect to be blessed in the reading. Read as one awake, one waiting for the beloved. Read with reverence.”

Macrina Wiederkehr

When I read scripture, I try to approach it as a love letter instead of like a newspaper. I read the newspaper to gain information. I read a love letter as if the person is right there with me, speaking into my heart.

That’s the way I want to approach the Bible….as if it is God’s love letter to me. I want to read it expecting that God will speak to me...as if He has something special to say to me.

I invite you to read a few verses…read them through slowly, several times. Pay attention to any words or phrases that seem to be illuminated and then, ask God what He wants you to know. Spend some time pondering what He is saying to you…about Him…about yourself. Then offer up a prayer of intention.

Expect Him to meet you in the scriptures.

Grace and peace,
Deb

pain

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

There is pain in life. There is no way around it. This isn’t the way it was meant to be. There was no pain in the Garden.

All I need to do is look around…I am not living in the Garden any longer and so I have pain in my life. Thinking I can avoid pain is not choosing to live in reality.

I think what I do with the pain I encounter in life is the key. I am trying to look at pain through a different lens. Instead of asking “Why?” or even “What is God trying to teach me through this?”, I am trying to ask the question “Where can I see Jesus in this pain? How is He holding me in the midst of it?” I don’t just want to endure it…to get through it so I can learn the lesson on the other side. I want to be present during it, to be aware, to look at God’s hand in it.

Are you in the midst of a painful time? Are you struggling with why something painful happened in the past or why something painful is occurring right now? If so, I invite you to sit with God and ask Him to reveal Himself in the middle of it all…how is He carrying you even though you may not be able to sense Him? Consider journaling about those questions and resting in God as He slowly reveals the answers.

Grace and peace,
Deb

reliance

“May all your expectations be frustrated. May all your plans be thwarted, that you may experience the powerlessness and poverty of a child and sing and dance in the love of God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.”

A prayer offered by a friend for Henri Nouwen

Complete dependence on God is what I want. I think about, I can even do it for a few moments at a time. Then I forget. Especially when things are going well. But, in those times when I feel as if things are out of control, my thoughts turn to God. Those times increase my dependence on Him. But I want more than just a ‘lifeboat’ mentality. I want to be fully aware of God’s presence and sovereignty in my life every day. May it begin today.

Grace and peace,
Deb

forgiveness

"Not forgiving is like swallowing rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.”

Anne Lamott
Living in a state of unforgiveness is poison to my soul. Why do I think that continuing to hold something against someone else hurts them? The reality is that often they don’t even know that I am upset. I’ve kept it to myself and feed it just a little each time I see them. Or, what about those things I am holding from years ago?

Although it is true that I can release someone else by forgiving them, the one I truly set free is me.

There is an antidote for the poison of unforgiveness….let it go.

Grace and peace,
Deb

sabbath

no post today ~ enjoy the sabbath

awareness

"God is always present. We are the ones who show up."

Rob Bell

I have come to believe this so very, very true. God is always here. He is always wanting to speak to me, to be with me. I just don't notice him. My prayer is to have eyes that see beyond what is right in front of me...that the veil will be lifted so I can the kingdom of God taking place in my everyday, ordinary life...

Grace and peace,
Deb

bathsheba, the woman

Have you ever wondered what is the story behind the story? Scripture is so full of the stories of lives of men and women, so diverse, so complex. But, for obvious reasons, so many of the stories are brief, with only the main story line. I can forget that these were living, breathing people with feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Sometimes, allowing ourselves to go deeper into the story may bring out the humanity of the person we are reading about. It may help us identify with him or her. What we consider may or may not be true to their lives but it does allow us to imagine what the circumstances may have been.

I was reading a book by Jan Richardson and she asked this question: “Since the text talks so little about Bathsheba’s thoughts and feeling s what might they have been?” Here are some of the questions I asked about Bathsheba.

How long had Uriah been fighting in the army? How long had he been away from home?

What was their marriage like? Did she love him? Did they have a good marriage?

How did she feel when she was summoned by the king? Was she scared? Did she enjoy her time with David or did she resist…cry…regret? Was it love or was it rape?

Did she panic when she missed her period? Did she envision telling Uriah what had happened? How did she feel telling David?

Did she know about David’s plans? Did they discuss it together? Was she anxiously awaiting Uriah visit home? Did she plan on telling him the truth or was she going to be part of the lie? How did she feel when he refused to come to their home?

Did she confide in anyone? Did David discuss his plans with her to put Uriah in harm’s way? Did she agree to the plan or plead with him not to have Uriah killed?

How did she feel when news came of his death? Grief stricken? Guilt? Anger? Relief?

What was it like to move into the palace? Was she anticipating it? Dreading it?
Did she love David or tolerate him? Did she blame him for their baby’s death or take the blame as her own?

How did her family feel? How did David's family feel? How did Uriah’s family feel? Did anyone else know the truth?

What was their relationship like? Did they truly love each other or realize later that it was only lust that brought them together?

Just asking these questions made me feel compassion for Bathsheba. What kind of friend would I have been to her? Who in my life reminds me of her? How am I interacting with or loving them?

Just something to consider as you spend time in Scripture. Real people, real problems.

Grace and peace,
Deb
Artwork by Ruth Powers
http://www.innovationsquilts.com

pure gift

gifts ~
unexpected,
un-asked for,
appear out of nowhere.

You give to express
your love,
your concern,
your desire for me.

like a rose left on the doorstep.

feb 07

grace and peace,
deb

lament for my friend

My heart aches for the burden you bear.
I cannot fathom its depths.
Pain untold as you witness your children languish in their own choices.
Sometimes I carry judgment ~
I want you to deal the way I would deal…
Or would I?
How can I know how I would react?
I try to imagine but the pain of it keeps me from staying there.
If I am unable to even pretend how it feels,
how can I bring any judgment to you?

How can I love you?
How can I support you?
How can I be Jesus with skin on to you?
How can I invite myself into your pain, your world?
How can I truly be myself with you when I am in a place of blessing?
How can share my joy?

I think all I can do is leave you to the Father and ask Him to hold you – hold you in all your pain – the pain I am too frail to hold.
He knows….
how to love you,
how to support you,
how to be in your world of pain.
Because of Him I can try to be Jesus with skin on.
A poor substitute but He can cover my lack.
My hearts aches for the burden you bear.

Love,
deb

presence

day has come.
night releases her hold on the earth
and allows light to illuminate the land.
and so every 24 hours, a day that has never been before.

a new beginning.
a fresh start.
a chance to be present.
a chance to be real.
a chance to be open.
a chance to be.

i take this for granted.
i forget.
i move and do without thinking, automatic.

may i not waste today.
may i be present.
may i be real.
may i be open.
may i be.

Written during a silent advent retreat, December 2007.

Grace and peace,
Deb

spa for the soul - awareness

“Man’s walled mind has no access to a ladder upon which he can, of his own strength, rise to knowledge of God. Yet his soul is endowed with translucent windows that open to the beyond.”

Abraham Heschel


God wants to be known by me. He wants to be pursued by me. He wants to be desired by me. He gives me ample opportunity to see Him. All I have to do is be aware of the ‘translucent windows’ that give me glimpses into His presence. It may be in the form of a rainbow or a sunset. It may be in the coo of a baby. It may be in the sweet smell of a springtime rain. It may be in the power of lightening or the quiet hush of a new snowfall. It may be in vibrant color of a tropical fish or in the majesty of a mountain. It may be in the beauty of the Word or in the soothing words of a friend.

The evidence is everywhere…I just need to be looking. I invite you to join me today in looking for Him, in all the different ways He reveals himself.

Grace and peace,
Deb

known

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.

Psalm 139: 13-16

Today, I had the opportunity to spend some time with this verse. I asked God, before I began, to illuminate what He wanted me to see. The words that jumped off the page to me were “You know me….”. I had read this passage numerous times over the years. This is something I’ve known in my head for a long time but today, I knew it in my heart. He knows everything about me. All the good and all the bad.

What really stuck me is that if God knows me that intimately, how can I not trust Him? Sometimes I think I trust Him more with the big things but struggle trusting Him with the small things. I want to trust Him with everything.

Where are you with trusting Him? Do you say you trust Him but live out something different? If you know that He knows and loves you so much…He wants only the best for you….consider trusting Him with all that you have and with all that you are.

Grace and peace,
Deb

balance

Guardian of the seasons,
keeper of every time
tune us so to your rhythms
that we may know
the occasion for stillness
and the moments for action.
May we be so prepared
so aware
so awakened
in our waiting
that when you prompt us
into motion
our hands may be your hands
and our purposes
your own.

Jan Richardson

glorious ruins

“To be like Jesus means that we must enter the complexity of both dignity and depravity. We are made in the image of God – glorious. We have taken on Adam and Eve’s hiding and blaming – ruin. We are glorious ruins, bent glory. And it shows up in every moment of our existence until we one day see Jesus as he is and become pure as he is pure.”

Dan Allender

The photo above is of the ancient aqueduct at Caesarea, which is the city in Israel where Herod built his summer palace. The ruins in this city are spectacular. You have hints of what they once where even in their deteriorated state.

Glorious ruins. Bent glory. I love the picture that paints. It directly speaks to the dignity that is part of me by virtue of the fact that I am made in God’s image; that the Holy Spirit resides within me. And, it speaks to the depravity that is woven into my DNA as I share in the ripple effect of the Fall. Like the ruins at Caesarea, it reveals both the pure beauty that befits an image bearer of God, and the ravages of living outside of the Garden. Everyday, I am moving back and forth between these two states.

What complicates the whole thing? You are also living in this beautiful mess. All of our interactions will be a blend of both. I pray that , as I continue to grow in grace, more and more of my dignity will come through in my relationships.

You and I are a glorious ruins….we possess bent glory. I invite you to try and be more aware of that reality and to live into it more fully this week.

Grace and peace,
Deb

longings

“…have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”

Rainer Maria Rilke


I recently spent some time with someone who is looking for God. This is not someone who is new to spirituality but someone who has built her adult life around God. She is struggling with deep questions of faith. She is trying to make sense of how God works but things are not adding up. Considering that God is a God of mystery is not a comfort to her and hits up against her rational, intellectual approach to spirituality. She wants Him to be predictable and safe.

It was painful to hear her recount her story and where she is in this journey right now. On one hand, she talks of God as if He is a detached being who is not intricately involved in her life. But, she also expresses a deep desire to know God in an intimate way. She is filled with questions and they weigh heavy on her heart.

I left the time with her, burdened. It is nothing I can ‘fix’ or solve or answer for her…nor do I want to (several years ago, I would have felt compelled to help her see what I believe to be is true). I will simply hold her in prayer and trust that God will work in her life as He will. And know that the pain she is going through now can be used to strengthen her faith. I trust God is big enough to handle her questions and that He will allow himself to be found as she searches.

Do you have questions? Questions that you feel you can’t share because others might see that you are struggling with the mysteries of God? God can hold your questions. He can hold your doubts. He can hold all of it.

Live the questions now and perhaps, then, someday, you will, gradually without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

solitude

“Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.”

Paul Tillich

Loneliness is epidemic in our world. We can feel lonely in a room full of people. We can feel so disconnected from others. We long for connection, for intimacy.

Solitude is rare in our world. It is a choice we make to create room in our spirits for God to dwell, to work. It is a place where we sit with God….a place to connect with Him and allow intimacy to develop.

Loneliness is inner emptiness.

Solitude is inner fulfillment.

Loneliness is pain.

Solitude is glory.

Loneliness is a place of hollowness.

Solitude is a place of formation.

I invite you to spend some time today in solitude, asking God to create a place of formation inside of you, where your relationship with him may deepen and grow.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

spa for the soul - prayer

Oswald Chambers says;

"Intercession means raising ourselves up to the point of getting the mind of Christ regarding the person for whom we are praying…..When we lose site of God we become hard and dogmatic. We throw our petitions at His throne and dictate to Him what we want Him to do….”

There was always something inside me that struggled when I would hear someone teach that all we needed to do was name, in faith, what we want from God and claim it…have enough faith and it will happen. If what we pray for doesn’t come to pass, it’s because we had a lack of faith. I cannot tell you how many people I have seen hurt over the years by this teaching.

I always used to have a hard time when I would engage in intercessory prayer. I was never comfortable telling God how I thought things should be. Then I wondered if I was being ‘double-minded’ in my prayer life, exhibiting a lack of faith. Things just weren’t fitting together for me.

This quote from Chambers reflects how I have come to understand intercessory prayer in the past couple of years. When I pray for someone, I lift that person up to God and ask Him to tell me how He wants me to pray for them. If I don’t sense Him speaking, I just lift that individual up to Him…and leave my concern for them there.

If something is pressing deeply on my heart, I tell God what I’m feeling…I am honest with Him about what I would like to see happen, but I always say…” what I want more than what I want is what You want.” I do not think this is a prayer of unbelief. I am not praying this way because I ‘hedge my bets’ in case God doesn’t respond the way I want Him too. I pray this way because I believe my desire for God’s will over my own desires is a prayer close to God’s heart. That, I believe …is the essence of faith.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

sabbath

no post today ~ enjoy the sabbath

miracles

It’s An Ordinary Miracle Day

It’s not that unusual when everything is beautiful
It’s just another ordinary miracle today
The sky knows when it’s time to snow
Don’t need to teach a seed to grow
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

Life is like a gift they say, wrapped up for you everyday
Open up and find a way to give some of your own
Isn’t it remarkable like every time a raindrop falls
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

Birds and winter have their fling but always make it home by spring
It’s just another ordinary miracle today
When you wake up every day please don’t throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart cause we are all a part of the ordinary miracle

Ordinary miracle, do you wanna see a miracle?
Oooooooo

It seems so exceptional that things just work out after all
It’s just another ordinary miracle today
The sun comes up and shines so bright and disappears again at night
It’s just another ordinary miracle today
Oooooooo

It’s just another ordinary miracle today

Sarah McLaughlin

This song paints a beautiful picture of miracles that occur everyday. Take some time to sit with the words and see what ‘ordinary miracles God does, in your life, today.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

thank you

On your feet now—applaud GOD! Bring a gift of laughter,
sing yourselves into his presence.

Know this: GOD is God, and God, GOD.
He made us; we didn't make him.
We're his people, his well-tended sheep.

Enter with the password: "Thank you!"
Make yourselves at home, talking praise.
Thank him. Worship him.

For GOD is sheer beauty,
all-generous in love,
loyal always and ever.

Psalm 100

I invite you to begin this new day with gratitude to God for His love for you.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

reflecting

I have been having some conversations lately about how women uniquely reflect the image of God. Can you even imagine that? You are an image bearer of God. Everyone you come in contact with has an opportunity to see God’s glory in you…if you are allowing it to shine through and if they are looking for it.

Do you look for the reflection of God in others? I know I usually don’t. How much have I missed because I wasn’t consciously looking for it?

One of the challenges given to me this week is to think of several women in my life and ponder what part of God is reflected through them to me. I invite you to think of one or two women in your life. What part of God do they show you when you are with them? Take it one step further…consider sharing your thoughts with them. They may not even be aware of what, in them, speaks of God to others and it may be an incredible encouragement.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

gift

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”

Ashley Smith

Awareness. It is a simple, but incredible gift. But it is the gift I always need to remind myself to open or it can sit on the shelf. If I don’t constantly remind myself to pay attention to all that is around me, I will miss it. I will just see it as old, ordinary life when it is anything but.

All of life is brimming with God. I just need to open my eyes and see it …lift the veil on my heart to become more present to the beauty that surrounds me….and speaks to me of God.

Take time today to notice the beauty. Open the gift.

Grace and Peace,
Deb