splinters

i could leap over the sky
and float through the stars

if only i weren’t weighed down
with this thing called regret.
Steven James


Regret. I don’t like the way regret feels. For me, it feels like a load I am carrying. I just want it to go away. It’s like when I get a splinter. I chastise myself for whatever it is that I was doing when I got the splinter, hoping to avoid that situation ever again. Then, I need to deal with the splinter. I would like to ignore it but they just won’t be ignored. Every time you use the affected body part, Mr. Splinter reminds you he is still there. I hate splinters. I also hate the process of getting it out. It’s always a blessing when the splinter is sticking out, easily seen and simply grasped by the tweezers. But, at least for me, I usually don’t get those types of splinters…I get the ones that are invisible. You can’t see them…you can only find them by touching the area again and again. How are you supposed to pull it out if you can’t even see it? That’s where the needle comes in. I hate needles. I know you are not surprised by that fact.

My husband will take a needle and start digging, as if he has no nerve endings. I, on the other hand, have very well developed nerve endings and needles hurt. It just doesn’t make sense to me. You have a sharp object lodged in your extremity and …let’s see…how about we use another sharp object to dig around and find it! Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I hate splinters. But I cannot tell you the relief I feel when it is finally out. It is like that limb is born again.

For some reason, I am making a connection between splinters and regret. When I am feeling regret, I think about the situation that led to me feeling that way and try to figure out how I can avoid that situation again. I don’t like the way it feels. But, usually, I need to carry it around awhile. I go about my life and then I remember it and I feel it again. Like a splinter, I need to work it out….make apologies, change behavior, etc. Guess those are the needles. Then it passes and life feels right again.

I hate splinters and I hate feeling regret.

But…I’m going to love heaven. I’ll love heaven ’cause I am pretty sure there are no splinters there and no regret. Yeah – I’ll love heaven.

Hope yours is a day with no splinters and no regret.

Peace,
Deb