darkness into light

“Mother Teresa once said “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted are the greatest poverty”. To this I will add: Please believe that one single positive dream is more important than a thousand negative realties.”

Adeline Yen Mah

Yesterday I had interactions with four women, all of whom I know had difficult childhoods. As I sat with them, I was struck by the reality of their lives today. If anyone of them had lived into what their families had wanted them to believe about themselves, they would be living a very different life. But…something happened to them. God. He moved into their heart and began the slow process of changing how they saw themselves. He began by giving them glimpses of how He sees them. Now, they are all living beautiful, strong, affirming lives.

And, do you know the most incredible part of it? He uses other people to reflect His love…. to be Jesus with skin on. Through others…through their eyes, through their actions, through their acceptance, through their reaching out, healing begins.

It is in the context of relationship that people change. It is not always easy but it is worth the effort. Then, as we heal, we begin to give away what was given to us.

If you know someone who is hurting, consider reaching out. If you are the wounded one, allow others to come near and care to you. If you have been restored to life through God’s healing touch and the love of others, give what you’ve received.

Grace and peace,
Deb

margins

I am tired. Just being honest, folks. Somehow I have allowed the margins around my life to become thinner and thinner. That means I wake up and realize I am not living what I preach. I didn’t sleep well last night and did not get up as early as I would have liked this morning. So…no intentional time with God. Doesn’t mean I didn’t sense His presence today…I did in so many ways. But I want time…no…I need time to sit down and reflect on the ways I saw Him work and move, how I heard His voice.

This isn’t being legalistic about how much time I must set aside to be with Him….or what I need to do during that time. It’s more about how I feel inside when I don’t have time with Him.I just want to be real about living what I talk about.

Hope you are carving out margins to protect your inner life. We all stray and get back on the ‘crazy hamster wheel’ of life….but, when you do, notice it and begin, as you can, to re-establish those margins. Tomorrow – yeah, I’m gonna have some margins tomorrow.

Grace and peace,
Deb

vulnerability

“It's so sad how we can go through life hating people, thinking that they are so different from us. It is only when we see them at their weakest point, seeing their vulnerability, that we start to realize how similar we all actually are to one another.”

Unknown

Last night I had the opportunity to spend time with some awesome women. I am part of a group of women who are on a journey. We are being intentional about looking for Jesus as He is showing up in the ordinary parts of our lives.

We do this as we share the great things we see Him doing. We also share the places where we are broken and how we see Him showing up in the midst of our brokenness.

It is a frightening thing…to share our brokenness with each other. Logic would tell us that if others knew the dark side of our hearts they would run from us. And I truly believe that is what the Evil One would love to have us believe. It keeps us separated from each other. He tells us that we are the only one who struggles with ___________. You fill in the blank. When we buy into that, we keep quiet…we put on masks….we put distance between ourselves and others.

But…usually, the opposite happens. As we begin to take off the masks and share, we realize that we have much more in common than not. It can bond us together in a powerful way.

Take the risk to share yourself with someone today…really share who you are and what God is doing in your life. Be real, be vulnerable.

Thank you to the women in my life who are real and vulnerable with me. You enrich my life……..

Grace and Peace,
Deb

risk

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."

C. S. Lewis

I have friends who are afraid to love. They have been hurt and want to avoid being hurt again at all costs. They think that it is safest to not love at all. They keep others at arms length.

I understand the fear. But what they don’t see is that to choose to keep your heart closed off to hurt means you keep your heart closed off to joy. Our hearts are not capable of only letting in certain things. When we decide to keep out hurt we keep out joy.

Loving others involves risk. It always has and it always will. Humans aren’t perfect. There are those that will hurt us every chance they get and we need to able to identify who they are and set up appropriate boundaries.. But, there are others….(and I think there are far more of these!) who will love us well, even if imperfectly. All of us love imperfectly. I do, you do…all of us. If people never took a chance on me because of what others had done to them, I’d have no one in my life.

Be willing to risk. God created us to live in community and not as loners. Risk….risk being yourself with others, risk letting others in, risk being real….risk being hurt. Know that whatever comes your way, God is able to walk you through it.

Grace and peace,
Deb

the aunties

As the years go by, I am noticing something. I do not look like I used to! Surprise, surprise. It can be difficult to see the changes that time brings. Anne Lamott, in one of her books, has a chapter called “The Aunties”. She is referring to her derriere. The Aunties are not what they used to be She talks about not wanting to go out in a bathing suit because she is self conscious about The Aunties. She is constantly comparing herself to other women..younger women. Then she realizes that what she does possess is the wisdom that only age brings. It is a beauty that cannot be matched by a young, fit body. And she forms a new appreciation and respect for The Aunties.

I am beginning to appreciate that. I am starting to love my wisdom; a wisdom that comes from God. I am learning to appreciate the beauty that comes with age…maybe not a physical beauty but the beauty of knowing God in an intimate way.

I am constantly trying to re-align my values with His…that how I look is not as important as how I am. That what the world values is not what God values. Some days I do better than others but I think the days seeing it from God’s point of view are getting more numerous.

Today, may you value who God made you to be. May you value being known more than being beautiful. And may you thank Him for the wisdom that He has given you. Enjoy today and honor the aunties...no matter what your age. :0)

Grace and peace,
Deb

sabbath

no post today ~ enjoy the sabbath

deep well

“Everything about our modern lives fights against taking time to satisfy the needs and longings of the soul. Yet if there is one place I am allowed to be selfish, it’s in the care of my soul. Out of such selfishness, I become more selfless in caring for the needs of those in my sphere of influence.”

Stephen Macchia

Many would say that the practice of silence and solitude is selfish…even ‘navel gazing’. It’s true that I am protective of my time in the morning. I want to be alone…I want to be alone with God. I love that time. But…I know that when I spend that time, I am so much more available for others throughout the day. Not only to the people I love but those I come in contact with. I see those interactions as being orchestrated by God. I can give out of a deep, full well, rather than trying to give out of a well that is dry because I haven’t taken the time to pay attention to my own relationship with God.

To be sure…the introspective life is one of investing time in yourself. But if I do it to only enrich myself, I am missing the point. One reason God gives His love and presence to me so that I can give it to others.

May you take the time to invest in your relationship with God. May you spend time just sitting in His presence. May you take the riches He shares with you during that time and carry them into your day. Share them with those He brings into your path…and go to bed tonight knowing that you gave deeply from the well of God’s love.

Grace and peace,
Deb

grateful

“Gratefulness is born of a prayerfulness that helps us notice “Magnalia Dei”….the marvels of God.”

Brennen Manning

I hope that your Thanksgiving was filled with family, fellowship and gratitude. Each of us has so much…even if we find ourselves in a dark part of the journey. Life, even when it is difficult, holds many things to be thankful for.

No matter where you find yourself today…in feast or in famine….look for those things that can fill your heart with gratitude for the blessings God has given you.

Grace and peace,
Deb

gratitude

Every breath we draw is a gift of God’s love, every moment of existence is a grace, for it brings with it immense graces from Him. Gratitude, therefore, takes nothing for granted.

Thomas Merton

Tonight I was in my car driving home and I started to cry. I was trying to figure out what was going on. I realized I was feeling grateful. I had just come from my son and daughter-in-law’s house. I had spent the evening with my granddaughters. My daughter and I took them out for dinner. What a hoot! Two 2 ½ year olds. It was a joy-filled night. Earlier today, I had lunch with a dear friend and caught up on life and then I had a chance to spend some time with my new grandson.

I have a beautiful family; I have incredible friendships, a nice home, a vocation I love and an intimate relationship with my savior.

Today….think deeply about your blessings. Allow yourself to offer up a prayer of gratitude to the One who makes it all possible.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving……….

Grace and peace,
Deb

with new eyes

Years ago, I picked up a wonderful little book called With New Eyes by Margaret Becker. I had been familiar with her before as she was one of my favorite female contemporary Christian recording artists. What I discover through this book was that she even a better writer.

In With New Eyes, she takes different situations in her life and looks at them through a different lens….they are all part of God’s plan. What a beautiful perspective!

That is what I am trying to do with whatever comes into my life. I want to be able to step back and look for God’s presence, for His fingerprints all over whatever is happening. If I say that I know He holds everything, it needs to be more than just lip service. I need to be actively looking for it.

May you begin to look at your life and all it holds differently. May you be able to notice God’s hand in everything. May you be able to see redemption in the midst of difficulty. May you see with new eyes.

Grace and peace,
Deb

spa for the soul - meditating

“Through meditating we explore in order to know more and more of Abba. Before we find this reality, we only BELIEVE; through experiencing a relationship, we come to KNOW.”

Morton Kelsey

To know someone, I need to spend time with them. I need to talk to them and I need to listen. The more I know them, the less I need to depend on words. I have a couple of people in my life who can just look at me and know what I am feeling. There is no need to explain myself in great detail. I am known by them.

It is that way with God. In the beginning of my relationship with him I talked…a lot. Now I talk less and listen more. There is more of a comfort level there…more of a ‘knowing’. I am learning to rest in the fact that He loves me.

Considering meditating, that is reflecting, pondering on who He is. Meditate on His love and His presence. Ask for nothing more than to know Him and be known by Him.

Grace and peace,
Deb

beloved

I just returned from sharing a great weekend with six women, looking at how we are each God’s beloved. We were trying to grasp the fact that God us. Not just the generic “He loves all of us” (as if that isn’t awesome enough!) but the thought that He loves me, uniquely and intimately…and you.

Allow yourself to spend some time today pondering that. Think about the ways Jesus has been pursuing you and how you have been responding to that. Have you abandoned yourself to Him….or are you holding Him at arm’s length? What would it look like to allow Him to move deeply into your heart, to trust Him with all of who you are knowing that He loves you in a way no one ever has or ever will. He is waiting with His arms wide one.

Grace and peace,
Deb

wisps

“For sometimes the voice of God thunders into our lives, but more often than not, it wisps by us like a gentle breeze with a fragrant reminder of faraway fields”.

Brennan Manning

I love springtime. I know it is hard to talk about or think about spring right now as we stand on the edge of winter. But, let’s try.

I remember being a little girl standing in my front yard on Easter Sunday. As a child, we didn’t go to church accept on the major holidays, so I am decked out in my Easter dress (with hat!). I cannot remember going to church that day but I can remember the smells. I remember that damp, early morning smell. Do you know what I am talking about? It’s that rich smell of earth and dew. It is mixed with the smell of newly mowed grass…a smell that’s fresh and clean and sticks to the bottom of your shoes. It lingers when you get in the car. Those smells take me right back to that morning. It’s a lovely memory.

What if God moves in our lives like that? Like a gentle wisp of fragrance? But to notice it I need to pay attention. I have to be aware. I have to gather in the subtle evidence with all my senses.

Be attentive…allow the fragrance of His love to permeate your life. Then, when you face the edge of winter in your spiritual life, you will be able to recall its sweet scent and know that spring is just around the corner.

Grace and peace,
Deb
There will be no post tomorrow as I am doing a retreat....

listen

Life is chaotic.
It’s loud and constantly moving.
No time alone.
No space.
No intentionality.
Just moving from thing to thing….task to task.
Keep moving.
Don’t stop.
It may pass you by.
The world may fall off its axis.

What? Be still?
Learn to listen?
Why?
God’s voice?
Afraid of what I might hear…
condemnation,
fear,
shame,
rejection….
But…what if…
He wants to speak something different into my life….
like love,
acceptance
forgiveness
peace,
joy,
value.
That is what He is offering.

I only need to listen….
Listen and accept.
Be still,
listen
and
hear.

shadows

Life is full of contradictions. There are these completely beautiful moments and then, before I know it, there is a shadow over it all. I live in a fallen world and part of that is my own brokenness. That causes shadows to fall over the things that bring me joy. I am, usually, caught off guard by my shadows. Then, there are other people’s shadows that fall over me, too.

Although I never want to become complacent with shadows, I need to understand that until I am with Him face to face…there will be shadows.

When shadows fall over certain aspects in your life, take the time to breathe and look for God in the midst of the shadow. Where is He? How is He speaking to you? Do you trust Him to redeem the shadow?

Shadows may…no, shadows WILL fall on your life. But know that God is as present in the shadows as He is in the sunshine.

Grace and peace,
Deb

struggle

Move over the face of
my deep,
my darkness,
my endless restless chaos,
and create,
O God;
trouble me,
comfort me,
stir me up
and calm me,
but do not cease
to breathe
your Spirit into
my wakening soul.

Jan Richardson

No matter how I feel, no matter what I am going through, He is there and can redeem it.
What are you struggling with today? What is troubling your spirit? What has you losing sleep? What has your stomach in knots?
Notice it and offer it up to Him….let it rest there.

Grace and peace,
Deb

love letter

I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.

Mother Teresa




What an incredible thought…that I am part of a love letter than God is sending to the world. That my life speaks of who He is and how He loves us. It's also is a big responsibility. I think of those times when I am less than gracious with a store clerk…or the person who cuts me off in traffic…or the people in the grocery store who block the aisle with their cart while they are having a conversation with someone else.

I want to always be aware of the fact that my life is being observed. There are people who are watching to see if Jesus has really made a difference in my life or if I only know the right words to say. I definitely want my life to be part of that love letter to the world.

I invite you to think about how your life, uniquely, speaks of His love for those around you. Take some time to reflect on that beautiful truth.

Grace and peace,
Deb

sabbath

no post today. enjoy the sabbath.

canyons

"God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars".

Martin Luther

Nature is revelation that speaks to us everyday of God and His love of beauty. It surrounds us. From the moment the sun rises in the morning and its brilliance drowns out the stars, His creativity is on display. Trees, animals, mountains, rivers, rocks, oceans, canyons, vistas, flowers, beaches, deserts, forests, plains, gorges, fish, birds, sun, moon and stars. Everyday there is an endless array of gifts for us to view, that reflect God.

Look for Him today in the created order.

Grace and peace,
Deb

spa for the soul - prayer

Prayer as conversation with God can be deeply fulfilling. However if it is the only form our prayer takes, we may begin to sense that something is missing. There are two reasons for this. First, prayer is by nature, more than conversation. To limit its concept to dialogue is to allow some of the most profound expressions of prayer to escape our notice. Second, our ‘conversation’, may, in practice, be less a dialogue than a monologue that borders on talking at God.

Marjorie Thompson

How is prayer for you? Is it more talking than listening? Is it a monologue rather than a dialogue?

Someone once said to me that prayer is ‘intimacy with Jesus’. I think I used to look at prayer as my ‘gimme’ list. I would see how things should be and let God know. Now I am listening much more than talking. I try to listen and hear God’s heart and then allow my prayers to rise from that place.

Listening prayer, in the beginning, is much harder than ‘talking’ prayer but the depth of the intimacy is rich.

May you fill your prayer time with silence so that you may hear His still, small voice.

Grace and peace,
Deb

weight

Don’t think God has ordained you to carry the entire space – time universe on your own back. God created it. God sustains it and God intends that ‘the government will be upon his shoulder’.

Boston Businessman

Do you ever feel like me and think the world will fall off it’s axis if you don’t do everything you are doing? Even if you haven’t ever thought of it like that, if you stop and think of it, is that the way you live your life?

Most women just go and go and go. We carry everything. Stuff from the family, stuff from work, stuff from ministry….. And, when we do this, we don’t have the time or the energy to focus on the things that God does want us to attend to.

I think this is part of the fall…part of thinking we are like God; the thinking that ‘if we don’t do it, it won’t get done’. For me, it also speaks to lack of trust….in God. I don’t like to say that but I think it’s true. If I feel I have to do everything, that means I don’t think God is capable of doing it…or that He needs me help.

I am trying to relax in Him and trying to build some margins into my day so I have time for Him; not time ‘doing’ something for Him but time just being with Him.

If you say to yourself that you don’t have time to be with God, consider giving some thought to how you might have your priorities ordered. Consider letting God be God and taking some of the weight off your shoulders.

Grace and peace,
Deb

holy

As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God's life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, "I am holy; you be holy."

1 Peter 1:13

I invite you to take some time today and sit with this scripture. Ask God to share with you what he wants you to notice and offer the time to Him. Then read the verse several times, slowly. Notice what moves you and write it down in your journal. Spend some time reflecting on its meaning for you and then offer it back as prayer to God. Finish your time with a few moments of being silent and allow His truth to sink deep in to your heart.

Grace and peace,
Deb

becoming

“In the care of souls, I am far more interested in who people are and who they are becoming in Christ than I am in what they know or what they are doing.”

Eugene Peterson

I need to live this out. I do need to be more concern with who people are than with what they know or what they do.

But the line that moves me the most is “who they are becoming in Christ.” I am ashamed to admit that I often focus on who they have not yet become. Why do you think we do that to each other? Not give each other the benefit of the doubt. Not look at each other through the lens that God uses.

And…not only do I do that to other people, I do it to myself. It is so much easier to see what I am doing wrong…how I am falling short than to think of who I am ‘becoming’ in Jesus.

This quote challenges me to love others and to love myself. It challenges me to be more gentle and more gracious in my responses to the sin and brokenness I see in others….and in myself.

May you see the person that you are becoming in God. May you see the beautiful work He is doing in others….may you recognize redemption when you witness it.

Grace and peace,
Deb

stillness

“Living without speaking is better than speaking without living. For a person who lives rightly helps us by silence, while one who talks too much annoys us. If, however, words and life go hand in hand, that is the perfection of all philosophy.”

Abba Isidore of Pelusia

I think I talk too much. I talk less now than I used to, but I think it is still too much. I sense God calling me to talk less and listen more…not only to Him, but to others as well. I have been aware of this for the past two years. Sometimes I am more conscious of it than others but it is becoming more natural.

One problem with being an extrovert who is discovering the beauty of silence and solitude…people want to know if you are “ok”. Once you find yourself turning down some invitations, being quiet during dinner or measuring your words in conversation, they assume there is something wrong. Sometimes I am disciplining myself, being careful to speak with purpose and not just fill the space with words. Sometimes I am in a ‘quiet’ mood and sometimes, I even sense God asking me to be still, in the midst of being with others.

I wonder how many people I annoyed with going on and on about something? I wonder if there were times when someone wanted to say “Would you just be quiet”? I wonder if there were times when it seemed as if all I did was talk about myself….

What I know is that God is calling me to a place of being still…both in my spiritual life and in my social life.

Is He inviting you to a place of quiet? What would that look like for you? What would change? Consider practicing stillness….and see how God speaks.

Grace and peace,
Deb

sabbath

no posting today - enjoy the sabbath

spa for the soul - sacred

“Spirituality is the sacred center of which all life comes, including Mondays and Tuesdays and rainy Saturday afternoons in all their mundane and glorious details.”

Christina Baldwin

God is everywhere and in everything. Every moment has something of Him in it. All we need to do is be aware and be looking for it.

He is not only found in those activities we see as ‘sacred’ but also in the mundane….the everyday tasks we do with out even thinking about. Brushing our teeth, making our bed, doing the dishes.

When we begin to see life through these eyes, everything is sacred. Celebrate the sacred in your life.

Grace and peace,
Deb

serenity

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Sometimes this is really hard for me. I am getting better at accepting things I cannot change. And I am getting better at changing the things I can. Where I struggle, at times, is knowing the difference.
A friend of mine, Pastor John Stringer, explained it this way; he drew two concentric circles. Inside the smaller circle is ‘my responsibility’….the outer circle is labeled ‘my concern’. Whatever falls within the smaller circle are those things I have some control over. What falls in the outer circle are things that I care about but, ultimately, have little control over. When he shared this with me, it was evident that I had spent a lot of my time and energy focused on those things I have no control over.
Now, I try to take some time and access where my energy needs to be expended. Is the situation that is bothering me something I can do anything about or is it out of my control? Once I sit down and take the time to think it through, I am better at letting go of those things I can’t change or move forward on the things I can impact.
Are there things in your life that you are frustrated by? Things you want to change but don’t seem to be able to? Maybe they are things you can’t change…you have no power to change. Consider weighing the circumstances by this standard…figure out what falls within your realm of responsibility and what falls within the area of your concern. If you can do something to change the situation, do it. If not, offer it up to God in prayer and ask Him to work as He chooses. These decisions will create an atmosphere of serenity in your life.

Grace and peace,
Deb

risk

“Fear not that your life will come to an end…fear rather that it will never come to a beginning.”

Cardinal Newman

For many years, I lived my life in such a way as to avoid my fears. I’d only try things I felt I would succeed at. I wouldn’t fly (on two separate occasions I took a train across the country for three days – one way!). I would hear God speaking to me but I was like Moses….I was full of excuses about why I couldn’t do what he was asking me to do….why he must have had me confused with someone else.

About ten years ago I heard God asking me to step out. To fly. Not metaphorically but literally. He was asking me to get on a plane and fly to Romania. Not Ohio, but Romania. The Romania that is over there across the ocean. The ocean….that place where you really can’t land a plane. But this time, I said ‘yes’. It was a big, fat, scary yes, but a yes all the same. It took prayer, friends, and Xanax to ‘git ‘er done’. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done but also one of the most life changing. That one decision opened up a world to me that I could have only imagined before. It helped shape the ministry God wanted me to be involved in and also impacted my confidence to say ‘yes’ to Him even when I doubt my own ability.

Earlier this year, I said another big ‘yes’ to God. I sensed Him asking me to develop this ministry for women. He gave me the retreat format and asked me to step out and offer it. I wasn’t sure what the outcome would or will be but I said ‘yes’. I recognize that this ministry is His…I’m only managing it for Him.

Are you living your life held back by fear? Do you sense God asking you to do something? What is holding you back? I invite you to give your fear to Jesus and trust Him to carry you through whatever He is calling you to do. Risk it. Consider living an outrageous life with Jesus.

Grace and peace,
Deb