spa for the soul - solitude

“If we are serious about hearing God, we will stay close to him. We will have frequent times when we allow the discipline of silence to deepen into solitude. In solitude - which is more a state of mind than a place – we purposely withdraw from interaction with others for the purpose of being with God.”
Gary Moon


I can remember a time when being alone for any period of time was very hard. I would fill my day with lots of people, if possible. Because it wasn’t always an option to be with someone, I would have on the tv, radio, cds…anything to fill the silence. It was just plain uncomfortable.

For quite a few years now I have been practicing silence and solitude. I look forward to it. I carve out time in my morning. I love it. It’s still dark when I get up. I get my cup of coffee, go into my sunroom, light a candle and sit quietly in the dark. My reason for doing this? To be with God. No agenda, no requests…only sitting with him.

The simplicity of it is beautiful. I simply want to be with Jesus. But as simple as it sounds it is difficult to just ‘be’. Usually, my mind doesn’t want to turn off. Some days it’s easier, some harder. But I keep doing it. And you know what? I love that time.

I used to try so hard to have some type of regular quiet time. I did it because if I didn’t I felt guilty. I did it because other people said I should do it. But now, I can honestly say I do it because I desire it. I love it. I don’t know exactly what happens during that time. I usually don’t feel anything. I cannot say that I come out of it enlightened…at least in a way that I am aware of. What happens during that time is a mystery. But just the fact that I now desire to spend time with God tells me it’s a good mystery.

Today, I invite you to plan a spa for your soul. Plan to set some time aside, light a candle and just ‘be’ with God. Allow the mystery of those moments to transform your spirit.

Peace and Grace,
Deb

photo by denharsh http://www.flickr.com/photos/denharsh/5150803362/

quest

touching the unseen

you seem so far away from me today.
just out of reach.
or maybe i’m the one who’s out of reach.
out of touch.
what is it in men that makes you so hard to see?
i need new eyes. spiritual eyeballs that look past
the bills that need paying
and the car that needs fixing
and the emails that keep coming
to see what lies beyond.
eyes that can see in the dark.
and through the dark
to you.

i’ve been looking
in all the wrong places all this time-
in myself rather than you,
within this world rather than
beyond it where the kingdom
of God resides, where you live,
and secretly smile at my shortsightedness-
and wait.
i’m glad you’re so patient.

quest.
steven james

apples

I had a conversation recently with a dear friend. She spoke of her struggle with guilt from a choice she had made in the past. As she thought back to the time of the incident, she knew that she had made a choice that was not what God would have wanted. It is difficult to see her continue to struggle with this past choice and not be able to receive God’s grace and forgiveness. In her head, she knows that God forgives, but in her heart she still carries the burden. I think she believes if she would decide to fully receive God’s grace, she may make a similar choice in the future. It is like she needs to keep the pain of that choice front and center so she remembers and she hopes that the frequent reminder will prevent her from doing it again.

But, while she continues to carry that burden she avoids spending time with God because of the shame. Can you see how she’s caught? We briefly talked about how, if she stays in that place, she most certainly won’t move closer to the heart of God.

God loved her as much after she made her choice as He did before she made it. He loves her fully now even though she is keeping Him at arms’ length. I think He is grieved that she won’t allow herself to receive His comfort.

Isn’t that what sin does so well - create separation from God? Remember the garden? Adam and Eve lived in perfect communion with God. Then they made the choice to pick the proverbial "apple"…to have autonomy. That choice resulted in shame. They hid from God. What did God do? He pursued them. Yes, there were consequences to their sin but God also provided for them and continued to care for them.

We all live under the fall…we’ve all picked and will continue to pick ‘apples’ and make choices that are not pleasing to God. But He is always waiting for us to come back into right relationship with Him.

God loves you. He wants you to be with Him... not just in the future sense of eternity but right now, in this very moment. Whatever you have done, He still desires your company. He loves you deeply and wants to have a restored relationship. Do what needs to be done to work towards restoration…with Him…with others - and then let it go. I am convinced we don’t change our behavior by sheer will. I’ve tried that over the years and the results have been sketchy, at best. What I do believe changes me is being as close to the heart of God as I can be…by pursuing an intimate relationship with Him. Recognizing His love for me and resting in that love can change me like nothing else.

So…to my dear friend…and to those of you who are struggling with the same thing, I invite you to set aside some time today to sit in God’s presence and pour your heart out to Him. Don’t allow the shame or the guilt to keep you away. Sit with Him and tell Him exactly how you feel. And allow Him to pour His love over you.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

photo by Selma90 http://www.flickr.com/photos/selma90/3675162262/

awareness

Being aware of the 'nearness' of God can change the way you look at the world. That, in turn can change everything. Take some time today to bring your full awareness to God and where He is moving in your life.

Peace,
Deb

outside/inside

Did you have a Mr. Potato Head as a kid? I did. I loved that toy. I could spend hours changing his features to make him into an entirely new person…ummm..potato….you know…well….as much as you can possibly change the look of a potato.

I spent much of my adult life as a Mr…wait…a Mrs. Potato Head. My insides remained pretty much the same but my outsides might change depending on who I was with. Not flagrant inconsistencies but more than I would have liked.

I am getting older (although they are saying that 50 is the new 30!) and I want to live my life with integrity. I want to be the same inside and out. I want to be the same no matter what circumstance I’m in or who I am with. I don’t want to put on airs or downplay my strengths. I don’t want to hide behind feelings of inadequacies nor do I want to be quiet about what I think or feel strongly about. I just want to be me…the me who is changing and growing and becoming more comfortable with who I am and who I am becoming. I believe this is what God calls me to….a life of integrity.

If you find yourself being like Mr. Potato Head, I invite you to spend some time today thinking about the ways you may not be living in integrity and consider what you might want to change.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Photo by KISS_ze_CHeF http://www.flickr.com/photos/46892099@N06/4305262080/

spa for the soul

“We exist in the loving ocean of God’s being. We cannot attain the company of God. What may be missing, however, is our awareness of his transforming presence…”
Gary Moon

“We exist in the loving ocean of God’s being.”
Sit with this thought and try to comprehend it. Notice that it isn’t a state you need to work towards… you already exist in it.

“We cannot attain the company of God.”
Again, you nor I can’t do anything to work ourselves into the company of God.

“What may be missing however is our awareness of his transforming presence.”
Think about this for a while. The missing piece is our awareness of God and his presence. It is all around us.

I’ve been taught over the years that God is everywhere. And, I feel as if I spent most of those years trying to move closer to him….. only to discover that He has been closer to me than my own breath but I didn’t know how to see Him, to notice Him. I was caught up in ‘doing’, in service, in reading, in thinking, in talking, in debating, in growing…in my efforts to work my way there. Now, I find that when I sit, quietly, without talking, just wanting nothing more than to be in His presence, my spiritual eyes are opened and I see Him everywhere.

I see Him in nature, in the book I’m reading, the movie I’m watching, in my husband building something, in the beautiful faces of my grand-daughters, in the athletic ability of my grandson and in the face of my daughter as she plays with her two little boys.

God is everywhere. Earth and heaven are saturated with Him and His presence. If I only take the time to look…take the time to see….take the time to learn how to be still.

I invite you to slow down today…maybe right now, take five minutes, to just sit quietly with Him. Tell Him all you want to do is be in His presence…to sense His love for you.

Peace,
Deb

hard times

“Pain and limits remind us that we are finite, that we depend on the mercies of God for existence, that we can survive hardship and discomfort and grow stronger and deeper through them. These Scriptures speak of humble acceptance of hardship, reminding us that we have a greater opportunity to move toward greater maturity. A few verses earlier in Romans 8, Paul tells that the suffering that we now experience is nothing compared to the glory to come. All creation anticipates that day it will be free from death and decay. “For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering.” (Rom 8:22-23)
The wisdom of spiritual mothers and fathers such as Jeremiah Burroughs, a Puritan reformer and preacher of the 1600’s, emerged from walking in uncertain and difficult times. Our surest path to contentment, they said, is embracing the goodness of God, even while tempted by our troubles to doubt that God is good at all.

Sometimes I have a hard time believing in some coming glory because all I can see, taste, touch and hear is a dark, bitter and sharp existence. Yet I want to join a creation that groans for redemption. Instead of focusing on the bad God allows and interpreting God’s actions as disinterested, unfair or unloving, I can choose to trust that God is all-knowing and is motivated by love for what is good, right and holy. In trusting God we choose contentment.
The way through our fear is mellowness of heart, a receptivity to all of life. In it we find a gracious willingness to relinquish control to take that which God sends or allows - not because it is good but because we trust that God works through all things to bring about goodness in the end.”

From The Contented Soul by Lisa Graham McMinn

I have two close friends who are in the midst of a really hard place in the journey. This is for them and for all who may find themselves in the same place.

grace and peace-
Deb

nowhere

“Now/here spells nowhere . To be fully present to whoever or whatever is immediately before us is to pitch a tent in the wilderness of Nowhere. It is an act of radical trust – trust that God can be encountered at no other time and no other place than the present moment. Being fully present in the now is perhaps the premier skill of the spiritual life.”

Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust

In the course of a day, be intentional about noticing how often you are thinking about the past or worrying about the future. I think you will see that the majority of the time you will find yourself in one of these places. And when you are there, you are not here, present to God.
Grace and peace –
Deb

Photo by Prosit.mankad http://www.flickr.com/photos/prasitmankad/5668737579/

shine

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. “
Marianne Williamson


It occurs to me that I walk between two realities. I am made in the image and likeness of God. I also know that I live east of Eden. I no longer live in the garden. I am broken and flawed. I struggle, many times, to do the right thing.

Often I tend to think of myself as average. Every once a while I have a ‘brilliant’ moment or two but my focus tends to be on what I am not.

But this quote takes me back to the ‘real’ reality. I am a child of God. His spirit resides within me. That is what people see when I get out of the way. Because of Him I am who I am. My playing small does not serve the world….and neither does yours.

I invite you to give this some thought today. How do you ‘play’ small? How do you diminish the glory of God that is within you? Spend some time pondering these questions and considering what response God wants to invite in you. May you let your light shine.

Blessings,
Deb

what if....

“What if we actually believed that this hidden wholeness was really true? What if, as an experiment, if only for one day, we lived as if we believed that there lived in us some reliable strength, wisdom and wholeness? What if we were to pretend that, regardless our health or mood, our fortunes or circumstance, we would remain quietly wise, accurate, and trustworthy in our judgments and actions? Even more, what if we could actually feel, sense and know, with unshakable certainty, that wherever we went, into whatever company or situation we were called, we would carry with us always this capacity to move with confidence and trust into any situation? How would we think, act, choose? How would we respond differently to the world during the day?”

Wayne Muller, A Life of Being, Having and Doing Enough


Wouldn’t it be beautiful if I, if you, could intentionally live each day, always remembering that the Holy Spirit gives us reliable strength, wisdom and wholeness? How easy it is to forget. How easy it is try to rely on our own strength and wisdom.
Join me in being intentional today about living in rhythm with the Spirit.
Grace and peace,
Deb

prayer

Celtic Evening Prayer

I lay my head to rest
and in doing so
lay at your feet
the faces I have seen,
the voices I have heard,
the words I have spoken,
the hands I have shaken,
the service I have given,
the joys I have shared,
the sorrows revealed,
I lay them at your feet,
and in doing so,
lay my head to rest.

John Birch, www.faithandworship.com

prayer

Celtic Morning Prayer

I arise today
embraced in the arms
of God the Father,
empowered by the strength
of God the Spirit
immersed in the love
of God the Son.
I arise today
in the company
of the Trinity,
Father, Spirit and Son.
I arise today.

From John Birch, www.faithandworship.com

expectations

“The anguish in the world can be traced to expectations.”

Anthony deMello


Did you ever notice how true this is for you? It certainly is true for me. It happens on vacations, in new jobs, during the holidays. I always have an idea in my head how it will work and it never seems to meet my expectations.

Honestly, I felt like that when I went to Israel several years ago. I expected to see THE tomb. They don’t know where THE tomb is. There are several possibilities. I expected to see the THE stable. Now, in retrospect I realize how silly it was to think that the stable would still be there over 2000 years later. As you have guessed, there is no stable. In fact, the picture above is of a hole in the floor of a church in Bethlehem. You place your hand in the hole and feel the stone underneath. This is possibly the stone that was under the stable. Talk about unmet expectations.

It can happen with people too. We have expectations, they aren’t met and we become discouraged.

Consider holding your expectations lightly. I invite you to give them to God and allow him to attend to the outcome.

Blessings,
Deb

chosen

A couple of years, within the space of three days, I heard or read the story of the wedding feast, the place of Jesus’ first miracle…He turned water into wine. I have read this story countless times but when I encountered it for the third time, in such a short span of time, I asked God what He wanted me to take from this story…how He was speaking to me through it. As I sat, in silence, I felt the desire to write a poem. I do not, at all, consider myself a poet. In fact, I don’t think I’ve written a poem since high school. But, the words that follow flowed out onto the paper. I doubt it would win any awards but it expresses what God laid on my heart that afternoon.

My prayer is that He would speak to you through these words.



chosen

simple ordinary container
willing to hold fresh water
to refresh, to quench
sturdy, dependable
loyal, practical
content to be a holder of this sustaining liquid

but wait…
a wedding day
beautiful jars filled with wine
to be seen by all the guests
an extraordinary vessel
to carry the fruit’s offering

then…it’s gone
it has run its course
and is no more
guests shall be disappointed
bride and groom disgraced
a wedding feast marred

simple ordinary container willing to hold water
now being filled as usual
but…it is not usual. no…it's wine!
not just wine
but the purest wine ever known.

wine from the vine
sweet and warming
not just to the body
but to the heart

simple ordinary container
sturdy dependable
loyal, practical
chosen



deb

Photo by @Saigon http://www.flickr.com/photos/95911695@N00/392829828/

community

"The person you would most not want to be with in community will always be there."
Henri Nouwen


I first heard this quote several years ago when I was at a conference. It rang true for me. For whatever reason, there is almost always someone, somewhere that I am, that I would rather not be there. Did you follow that?

I know this is most “unchristian’ of me to admit but it is true. I am not so evolved that I love everyone equally. In fact, there are some that I really struggle with. And for some reason, God makes sure that I usually have one of those people in my path.

Something else I have discovered is that these people have something in common….they usually have some quality I have! Did that ever happen to you? You find yourself rubbed the wrong way by someone. You take some time to think about what it is that bothers you and realize it is a quality you also have. But…you give yourself a pass because that quality is a positive in you and just plain annoying in this other person.

God gently reveals these lies to me. He places other people who are either too much like me or not like me at all to help work out His purposes in my life.

Iron sharpens irons…..that’s how the psalmist puts it. We need each other, and the forging quality of relationships, to work off the rough edges and craft us into individuals who reflect God.

I am trying to be thankful for those people who mirror to me things I need to surrender to God. I also need to humble myself and realize I am THAT person for someone else. I am the one that is someone else’s ‘person they would not want to be in community with’.

It goes back to the basics. It goes back to love. It goes back to looking for the beauty in each other. It goes back to allowing God to do the work in our lives any way He chooses. And if He chooses to use me to work in you or you to work in me….may it be so.

Who are those people in your life? Consider spending some time today thinking about them, what God might want to be showing you through your interaction with them. Maybe we can both get to the place where we can actually thank God for their presence in our lives.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

moldable

It is not you that shapes God.
It is God that shapes you.
If then you are the work of God
Await the hand of the artist who does
All things in due season.

Offer Him your heart,
Soft and tractable,
And keep the form in which the artist
Has fashioned you.
Let the clay be moist
Lest you go hard
And lose the imprint of His fingers.
Prayer from St Irenaeus

This prayer speaks about part of the journey I have been on in the past couple of years. I have become increasingly aware of the fact that God initiates everything in me. Sometimes I become anxious about what may be in the future but I want to continue to trust Him and His timing. I want to be pliable and moldable in His hand.

Consider taking some time today and sit with this prayer. See what God may want to say to you. Journal about what you are hearing and consider how you might want to respond.

Peace,
Deb

photo by Walt Stoneburner http://www.flickr.com/photos/waltstoneburner/5745387762/

spa for the soul

Women like to do certain things for themselves. They get their hair cut, colored and highlighted. They purchase special shampoos, good conditioners, glazes and paste. They buy bath gels, body crèmes, hand lotions. They use moisturizers, masks, potions and lotions. They love makeup. They do their nails…they get manicures and pedicures. Occasionally they will treat themselves to a massage. So many times, their fantasy is a day at the spa; a day to be pampered and nurtured. They long for that time of rest and relaxation…to renew and rejuvenate.

But, as frequently as they may think of caring for their physical bodies, they may neglect their spiritual selves. They seem to think that a prayer shot up, here and there, a minute or two in Scripture, a Sunday morning message, and singing a couple of worship songs takes care of meeting the needs of their spirit.

Think for a few minutes about this. Our physical bodies are in a constant state of deterioration. I know this is not a happy thought, but it is true. All of our attempts to stave off the inevitable may make the inevitable a little easier to accept but it is still happening. Our physical bodies are moving towards death every day. But, our spirit is eternal. Any effort we put into opening our spirit to God, takes us deeper into His presence. When we spend time practicing those disciplines that create intimacy with Him, we are building into something that will last forever.

Now I am not saying that we shouldn’t spend time on our physical bodies. They are gifts from God and we need to care for them. But…what would our spirits look like if we nurtured them as much as we do our bodies?

My passion is to help women (and men!) nurture their spirits. This blog is one way I try to do this. My hope is that is why you come back…to hopefully feed your spirit. Sometimes, there is food for thought…for your brain and how you think about God and the world around you. Other times, it is for nurturing your spirit. Allow your spirit to be nurtured today.

Blessings,
Deb

photo by Dennis Wong http://www.flickr.com/photos/denniswong/3877954043/

impossible

A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell. ~
C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

Came across this quote recently. Consider spending some time today pondering all it holds………

Grace and Peace,
Deb

breathe

Mornings….I love mornings. I really love early morning. I love the time before the busyness begins. In the morning, around 5:30, I get a cup of coffee and sit in an overstuffed chair in my bedroom. First, I light a candle. I love candles. I love them because of the significance of Christ being the light of the world. But, I must admit, I also love them because of the fragrance. I am very picky about my candle fragrance. I also love the mood a candle provides. Ok...I'm rambling about candles. Moving on....

Sometimes I turn on some very soft classical music. Then I just sit. I close my eyes and just breathe. I cannot think of any other time I just breathe. I can feel my shoulders dropping, and my breathing getting deeper and slower. I relax into it. I can hear the birds and my wind chimes. Sometimes thoughts come into my mind…about an email I didn’t answer or thinking about what we will have for dinner. When I notice that I am ‘thinking’, I try to let go of the thought and go back to awareness of my breathing.

Why do I do this? It seems like it is one of the only times I can truly be present…present with God. My ultimate thought is about Him. I just want to sit and be still with Him. No agenda, nothing to “do”. Just being. It’s not easy to just ‘be’. Doesn’t that sound strange…that it would be easier to actually ‘do’ something than to just ‘be’? This ‘being’ business is not natural. But it so worth the effort.

When I move into spending time in scripture and journaling about what I hear God saying, I feel so much more focused. I feel much more receptive to hearing Him. It truly has become the most favorite time of my day.

I invite you to try just sitting with Him…eyes closed, and paying attention to your breathing. Relax….and listen to what God may be saying to you. May it be a sweet time with Him.

Grace and peace,
Deb

dear God....

“Dear God,
Are boys better than girls? I know you are one but please try to be fair.”

From: Children’s Letters to God



I wonder how many women feel this way. Does God really think boys are better than girls? Personally, I don’t think so. But I do know how easy it is for women to get this impression. I know many women who excel in their field. Unfortunately there are times in the corporate world or even in the church that women can feel as if their gender speaks louder than their gifts.

We, as women, are image bearers of God. Although that encompasses our gender, it is not limited to it. He also deeply values our gifts and the condition of our heart. I think it brings Him joy to see us exercise our gifts….. the gifts He gave us….. to the fullest.

Please value yourself as a woman. God does.

Peace,
Deb

Photo by amrufm http://www.flickr.com/photos/amrufm/2311902733/

light

light – piercing, pure
dwells deep within
hidden by me.

who i think i am,
who i think i am supposed to be,
who others think i am.

how do i get out of my way?
how do i get out of God’s way?

peel away all that is not true –
all falsity falls away.
i am left with the image of God
that dwells within,
the unique part of Him
that only i can offer to the world.

but how?
how to let go of all that covers
and hides the God within?
only by Him,
only by grace,
only through surrender
can a glimpse of
what dwells deep within,
hidden by me
be seen
through the Light that is piercing
and is true.

scripture

The Word of Scripture should never stop sounding in your ears and working in you all day long, just like the words of someone you love, but accept them as they are said to you, accept the Word of Scripture and ponder it in your heart, as Mary did. That is all. That is meditation…Do not ask “How shall I pass this on?” but “What does it say to me?” Then ponder this Word long in your heart until it has gone right into you and taken possession of you.”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I cannot tell you how many times I have read a certain piece of Scripture and thought, “Oh…so and so needs to hear that” or “I wonder if so and so has ever heard this?” Or my most recent one, “Wow…I could use that on the blog!” Notice the problem here? What I am reading is for the benefit of someone else. Is that wanting to help others or, maybe, avoiding what God wants to say to me? Maybe both, maybe neither. It may just mean that I am going through the motions of reading it and not slowing down long enough to see how God wants to speak to me, directly to me, through it. What He may want to say to me may just be for me…not information to pass along or material for a later teaching but words that may be life-giving, life-changing to me. I don’t want to miss His words for me.

The next time your read the scriptures, take in what God has to say to you - just you.

grace and peace,
Deb

tension

“Joy and sadness are as close to each other as the splendid colored leaves of a New England fall to the soberness of the barren tress. Joy and sadness are born at the same time both arising from such deep places in your heart that you can’t find words to capture your complex emotions.”

Henry Nouwen

I can identify with this quote. There have been times in my life when I am so filled with joy that I cannot find the words to express it. The birth of my children, those sweet times of being a mom to little ones, having one of my teenagers come to me with a problem, seeing them marry people who loved them, gaining an awesome grandson the same day I gained a new daughter, the birth of my granddaughters and grandsons. Then there are the times I am merely sitting with someone and they begin to share their spiritual journey and tears come to my eyes as I listen to the beauty that God is working in their lives. That is joy.

Then there is the flip side…the sadness. I have also had the experience of feeling such overwhelming sadness that I thought it might consume me. At times, there are no words to express what I am feeling. It is experienced more as a physical sensation, an ache in my chest. There have been the obvious times…the death of my sister-in-law at the age of 16, a miscarriage, illness in my children, the loss of my father-in-law, watching my children, as adults, go through painful situations, the sadness of my own sin and the prolonged illness of my mom. There are also those times when I have such a sense of sadness and there is nothing that I can pinpoint in my life as the cause. I spend time with God asking Him what it might be that I am feeling sad about. I sense it is sadness over child abuse, the Sudan, poverty, etc….my heart can literally hurt over these things.

Joy and sadness. Both a part of life. Both are intense and both tell me I am alive. I want to embrace both, knowing that they are part of being human and knowing that God can hold all of it.

Embrace the joy and the pain in your life. Know that God will use all of it…to draw you closer to Him.

Peace,
Deb