let go

To Let Go Takes Love

To let go does not mean to stop caring
it means I can't do it for someone else.

To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is not to cut myself off,
it is the realization I can't control others.

To let go is not to try to change and blame another,
it is to make the most of myself.

To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.

To let go is not to be protective,
it is to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.

To let go is not to be in the middle of arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.

To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.

To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To let go is not to criticize and regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and to cherish myself in it.

To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less,
and to love more.

~author unknown~

baby girl

“A daughter is one of the most beautiful gifts this world has to give.”

Laurel Atherton

32 years ago this morning, I gave birth to a baby girl. Unlike her older brother who took 12 hours to make his appearance, my daughter took on only 12 minutes (I cheated - C-section). My petite little girl (9 lbs 9 oz) came home in a white and pink dress. And so began one of the most beautiful relationships of my life.

Today, I look back and reflect on 31 years of her life.

The way she slept in her crib – on her belly with her knees pulled up tight.

Her tonsillectomy at age 3.

Her pigtails.

Her love of animals.

Her obsession with marine life.

Her empty threat to squeeze her brother’s hamster until its eyes popped out.
Her first stitches – which she promptly pulled out.

Drinking Liquid Tylenol, then Ipecac syrup – then…well you know.

Her first date.

Her first heartbreak.

Track meets and volleyballs games.

Her graduation from high school.

Driving her to college for the first time.

Crying for days after - oh, yeah…that was me, not her!

Seeing her make a decision to do a semester overseas – because God wanted her to, not because she wanted to.

Seeing her make so many other good decisions.

Seeing her fall in love before she even knew it.

Doing a missions trip together to South Africa.

Being her matron of honor.

Being with her when her first child was born.

Waiting while her second child was born (another c-section in the family!)

Seeing her grow in gifts and ability.

Observing her love her husband.

Watching her with her boys – she is an amazing mom.

Waiting with her as she is expecting her third child.

Seeing her walk into her own as a woman, as a leader.

Continuing to enjoying her not only as my daughter, but as my friend.

While I count so many things in my life as good and perfect gifts from above, Brooke is one of those gifts in which God continues to bless me.

Thank you, Brooke, for the privilege of being your mom and for your on-going love and friendship. Happy Birthday, baby girl. I love you more than I can express.
Mom

quiet

Now
Oh Lord
Calm me into quietness
that heals
and listens
and molds my longings
and passions
my wounds
and wondering
into a more holy
and human shape.

Ted Loder

grace and peace,
Deb

photo by dturnow

surprise

Have you ever had the experience of praying for something and seeing, in your head, how it would work out? I do that all the time. But…you know what? It NEVER works out that way.

Or, how about this….you’re not sure what’s ahead, what’s around the next corner. You may be sensing that God is calling you into a new adventure but you cannot possibly see how it will come to pass. Or, you may be facing a very difficult situation that is full of uncertainty. If only you could see what’s ahead, then you could trust Him with whatever it is.

I used to fear these circumstances (sometimes I still do). I wanted to have more control, to be able to plan things out, to know what was coming next so I could better prepare. What I really wanted was for God to answer my prayers my way. This kind of living caused me a great deal of anxiety. But then, slowly, God began to change my perspective. I began to relax and truly trust that He knew what was best. I didn’t need to know everything.

I have been on this journey long enough to know that God always works it out. Not always in the way I want Him to and never the way I think He will, but, none the less, He works it out.

Now, instead of fearing what’s around the next corner, I am looking for the surprise. I know God loves me and that He will take care of me, even if it is in unexpected ways. So, instead of needing all the answers, I am able to live with the questions and anticipate the surprise, looking at it like a gift. It may not come when I expect it, be wrapped the way I think it should be or even be the gift I want…but it will always be the gift I need.

May your day be filled with “God surprises”. May you not be fearful and anxious about what lies ahead but learn to be open and excited about the surprises God has in store for you. Enjoy the gift; the gift that is.... trusting Him with everything.

Blessings,
Deb

photo by the italian voice http://www.flickr.com/photos/desiitaly/2130024301/

being present

From The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan:


“Waiting implies anticipation of something else; that this moment is not the moment. It implies that the expected thing, the hoped-for thing, is yet to arrive, that the present is only preliminary to the future.”

When I read this, I was stopped in my tracks. This is me! It seems I am always waiting. I am waiting to wear my bathing suit until I lose a few more pounds, waiting to have people over for dinner until I clean the house, waiting to pursue my hobbies until I have more time. I realized, after reading this quote, that I am missing being fully present in this day because I am focused on the future. How much have I missed because I am not aware of what is right in front of me? When I look to the future, I cannot see clearly. It rarely turns out the way I think it will. But I do have the chance to see what is right in front of me, what is happening right here, right now.

I've started asking God to help me stay in this day, in this hour, in this moment.

Think about asking God, today, to help you keep focused on the now…not in the future, not in the past, but in the present, because the present is more than enough.

Peace,
Deb

awareness

One of my favorite authors is Ken Gire. He has a way of helping me learn to pay attention to the movements of God in my life. He has written numerous devotional books. The first book I read by him is an excellent book called, Seeing What is Sacred: Becoming More Sensitive to the Everyday Moments of Life, (old title - The Reflective Life) that is written, specifically, to help you become more aware.

I want to share a quote from him:

"He[God] has much to say, not only from the Scriptures but from the circumstances of our everyday lives. However prosaic the pages of our lives may seem at first reading, within the lines or in between the lines God may be speaking. Every book we read, every movie we see, every person we talk with, every song we listen to, every moment in our lives, in fact, should be subjects for reflection and could be ways through which God is speaking."


Consider asking God to help you today...help you pay attention to where/how He may be speaking to you, perhaps speaking in ways you had not considered before. Feel free to share what you noticed.


May you see Him in a different way today,

Deb

everyday sacred

“To conclude your meditation…you must gather a little devotional bouquet. I will explain my meaning. People who have been walking about in a beautiful garden do not like to leave without gathering in their hands four or five flowers to smell and keep for the rest of the day. In the same way, when our soul has carefully considered by meditation, a certain mystery, we should select one, two or three points that we liked best and that are most adapted to our improvement, think frequently about them, and smell them spiritually during the rest of the day.”


Frances de Sales

There are things that speak into our lives every day….conversations, songs, books, movies, signs, etc. Everywhere, God uses these to engage us. Unless we are paying attention, we will miss it. If we notice it but do not linger with it, it will soon be gone and any depth it may have held within will escape us.

Be aware of what He is saying to you through the ordinary things of life and ponder them in your heart as you move through the rest of your day. Treasures lie within.

Grace and peace,
Deb

morning

“No one knows what makes the soul wake up happy. Maybe a dawn breeze has blown the veil away from the face of God.”
Rumi

I am, by nature, a morning person. My favorite time of the day is early morning. I love the quiet, dark cloak that covers the earth before the first peek of the sun breaks through. This is the time I feel drawn to be with God. I sit in my sacred space…a space I have created to just be with Him. I start with silence. I then read a devotional and I always journal about whatever is on my mind. I ask God to help me be present to His presence during this day. I read this quote today and I want to put it by my bed as a reminder that I may get a glimpse of God in a fresh and new way.

May the breeze blow the veil back for you, if only for a second, so you may see experience God anew this morning.

Grace and peace,
Deb

photo by Smabs Sputzer http://www.flickr.com/photos/10413717@N08/5507873986/

sacred text

"To pray the Scriptures means to allow the words of the sacred text to form our prayer, either directly or indirectly.”

Unknown

Engaging Scripture on a heart level is transformative. When I approach the text as if God wrote it directly to me, certain words or phrases seem to be illuminated. I pay attention to those words and sit with them. They then become my prayer, as I give myself over to whatever God wants to work in my life through them.

May your reading of the Scriptures become more than an information gathering exercise …may it be an encounter with the Sacred.

Grace and peace,
Deb

deeply

"If you read [a passage in the Bible] quickly it will benefit you little. You will be like a bee that merely skims the surface of a flower. Instead, in this new way of reading with prayer, you become as the bee who penetrates into the depths of the flower. You plunge deeply within to remove the deepest nectar. Plunge into the very depths of the words you read until revelation, like a sweet aroma, breaks out upon you."
Madame Guyon in Short and Very Easy Way of Prayer:

Eugene Peterson wrote a lovely devotional called Solo. It takes portions of Scripture (from The Message) and walks you through the stages of lectio divina, a devotional way of reading the Word. Instead of merely reading the text, you move into the text.

May you penetrate deeply in the truth and meaning of Scripture as you allow God to meet you, to love you through His Word.
Grace & peace,
Deb

desire

“It is a rare self-understanding today which lets one believe that his or her aches and yearnings are mystical.”
Richard Rolheiser

So many times, I ignore or push down those longings I carry deep within. To think about them creates an ache inside. To voice them seems inconceivable, opening me to extreme vulnerability.

I want to be able to trust God with these longings, to talk to Him about them. To allow Him to bring them to pass in my life if that is what is to be. To be able to get out of the way and allow God to use me, to move in me any way He chooses…even when it means fulfilling some of my inner desires. It requires a shift in my thinking…that God not only calls me to those things that I might find difficult and need to fully depend on Him to accomplish but also to those things that I deeply desire to do.

I invite you to spend some time in silence today, allowing those desires to surface. Share your thoughts and feelings with God and remain open to how and when He wants to bring them to pass.

Grace and peace,
Deb

transformation

The other day I was talking with a friend of mine and she was telling me how she was seeing God work. He has a very specific way of speaking into her life. She is beginning to notice when He wants to say something to her and she creates space in her schedule to listen, to journal, to process. The things she has come to know about herself and about God are beautiful.


I am in a place of feeling incredible gratitude for being granted the privilege to listen and be a witness to these kinds of stories…to have a front row seat to holy transformation…to sit in the midst of sacredness.


Thank you to God….and to my friend for allowing me to be a part of it all…


Grace and peace,

Deb

Photo by Robb North http://www.flickr.com/photos/robbn1/3643417042/

identity

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said:




“We are not human beings on a spiritual journey.
We are spiritual beings on a human journey.”



I love this quote. It helps me gain perspective on my life and my role. At the core of who I am, I am spiritual. I am made in the image of God. This is so easy for me to forget. I get so caught up in my life…my things…my plans. I can be upset about something that won’t mean anything two weeks from now, let alone be important in the grand scheme of things.

I can tend to live as if this is all there is. Fear sets in as I think of the years swiftly moving by and the knowledge that my days are numbered. I get so caught up in my earthly existence that I don’t give a thought to eternity.

Imagine what it would be like if we began every morning reflecting on the truth that we are spiritual beings on a human journey. If we constantly carried this thought with us through our day, how would it change the way we act…or react? What would look different? Be different?

I encourage you to think about this today. Live this day with the full knowledge that you are a spiritual being on a human journey. Look at all today holds for you through that lens and see how it changes you. And, consider offering today’s part of your spiritual journey to God, asking Him to allow that spirituality to shine through your human-ness.

Blessings,
Deb

surprise

Have you ever had the experience of praying for something and seeing, in your head, how it would work out? I do that all the time. But…you know what? It NEVER works out that way.

Or, how about this….you’re not sure what’s ahead, what’s around the next corner. You may be sensing that God is calling you into a new adventure but you cannot possibly see how it will come to pass. Or, you may be facing a very difficult situation that is full of uncertainty. If only you could see what’s ahead, then you could trust Him with whatever it is.

I used to fear these circumstances (sometimes I still do). I wanted to have more control, to be able to plan things out, to know what was coming next so I could better prepare. What I really wanted was for God to answer my prayers my way. This kind of living caused me a great deal of anxiety. But then, slowly, God began to change my perspective. I began to relax and truly trust that He knew what was best. I didn’t need to know everything.

I have been on this journey long enough to know that God always works it out. Not always in the way I want Him to and never the way I think He will, but, none the less, He works it out.

Now, instead of fearing what’s around the next corner, I am looking for the surprise. I know God loves me and that He will take care of me, even if it is in unexpected ways. So, instead of needing all the answers, I am able to live with the questions and anticipate the surprise, looking at it like a gift. It may not come when I expect it, be wrapped the way I think it should be or even be the gift I want…but it will always be the gift I need.

May your day be filled with “God surprises”. May you not be fearful and anxious about what lies ahead but learn to be open and excited about the surprises God has in store for you. Enjoy the gift; the gift of trusting Him with everything.

Blessings,
Deb

Photo by betsyweber http://www.flickr.com/photos/betsyweber/5413759643/

lighting

“If we can’t discern the Lord’s voice in our life, we will be at the beck and call of every other voice. The voice of shame, perhaps from some failure in our past…If we have heard from the Savior’s own lips how much he loves us and delights in us, it will silence the taunts of voices that put a makeup mirror to our face and point out all the reasons why Jesus couldn’t possibly be in love with such a blemished person.”

Ken Gire

Who is the genius who decided it was a good idea to put florescent lights in women’s bathrooms…or dressing rooms? I swear, I would go out of my way to shop at a store that had beautiful, soft lighting in the dressing room.

As women, we all know that fluorescents show each and every little flaw. You touch up your makeup to try and cover some of those flaws and step out into daylight looking like Bozo the clown! YIKES!

That is what can happen to us when we choose to look at our inner life through voices other than the voice of God. They will tell us that we are not worthy of His love. They tell us that we will never be good enough. They tell us that we might as well give up because we will never arrive. They are the mirrors that show us every single flaw and exaggerate the ugliness.

Jesus is the one who reveals to us what we need to look at. He is gentle, he is kind. All of our flaws are looked at in the light of His love…and in that beautiful lighting, we can come confidently before Him and allow Him to do the work that needs to be done.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by AZRainman “If we can’t discern the Lord’s voice in our life, we will be at the beck and call of every other voice. The voice of shame, perhaps from some failure in our past…If we have heard from the Savior’s own lips how much he loves us and delights in us, it will silence the taunts of voices that put a makeup mirror to our face and point out all the reasons why Jesus couldn’t possibly be in love with such a blemished person.”

Ken Gire

Who is the genius who decided it was a good idea to put florescent lights in women’s bathrooms…or dressing rooms? I swear, I would go out of my way to shop at a store that had beautiful, soft lighting in the dressing room.

As women, we all know that fluorescents show each and every little flaw. You touch up your makeup to try and cover some of those flaws and step out into daylight looking like Bozo the clown...or Mimi! YIKES!

That is what can happen to us when we choose to look at our inner life through voices other than the voice of God. They will tell us that we are not worthy of His love. They tell us that we will never be good enough. They tell us that we might as well give up because we will never arrive. They are the mirrors that show us every single flaw and exaggerate the ugliness.

Jesus is the one who reveals to us what we need to look at. He is gentle, he is kind. All of our flaws are looked at in the light of His love…and in that beautiful lighting, we can come confidently before Him and allow Him to do the work that needs to be done.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo by AZRainman http://www.flickr.com/photos/azrainman/1002724581/

skin

“When I hear people talk about what is wrong with organized religion, or why their mainline churches are failing, I hear about bad music, inept clergy, mean congregations, and preoccupations with institutional maintenance. I almost never hear about the intellectualization of the faith, which strikes me as a far greater danger than anything else on the list. In an age of information overload, when a vast variety of media delivers news faster than most of us can digest – when many of us have at least two e-mail addresses, two telephone numbers, and one fax number – the last thing any of us needs is more information about God. We need the practice of incarnation, by which God saves the lives of those whose intellectual assent has turned as dry as dust, who have run frighteningly low on the bread of life, who are dying to know more of God in their bodies. Not more about God. More God.

Barbara Brown Taylor
An Altar in the World

In chapter three, The Practice of Wearing Skin, Taylor explores how we live out our faith in our bodies. She erases the illusion of separateness between the spiritual life and the physical body. Approaching our spirituality from a more holistic perspective exposes the fallacy of increased knowledge of God resulting in transformation. Knowledge isn’t bad – it is just insufficient.

It is no accident that Jesus came as a man – a man with flesh, bones, muscles, blood, nerves and emotions. He came, wearing skin, just as we wear skin. It as much as part of His divinity as was His spirit…and so for us.

Today – do not seek more information about God – seek more of God. Notice how you might live out your faith, using your body as a gift offering back to God and to others. Thank Him today for the work your body allows you to do. And may you begin to see the wearing of skin as a beautiful spiritual practice.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Photo was taken in Cuddalore, India ~ providing relief after 2004 tsunami

transcendence

“Life is difficult.

This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it--then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”

M. Scott Peck

I know so many friends who are going through difficult times. Often, as Christ followers, we have been taught that life will be good, absent of most difficulties, if we are living in God’s will. Where did we get such an idea?
Life is life. That means it will sometimes be better than we could ever have imagined and sometimes it will be more painful than we think we can survive. We live in a fallen world.

But, I believe that Peck is on to something. The more we struggle against the difficulty, the more it consumes us. When we look for God’s grace in the midst of the struggle, we focus much less on the struggle itself and more on the God we cling to within it. That is transcendence…moving into and through the difficulty where God meets us.

Grace and peace,
Deb

listening

“Many of us prefer listening to a pastor or a speaker rather than training ourselves to sit in quiet and listen to God.”


Jan Johnson

I wonder why this is? I think, for me, it is because listening to someone else speak is, for the most part, a passive activity. There is the ‘active’ piece of paying attention but because their voice is verbal and audible, we can take it in.

When I listen to God, it becomes more active even though I am silent and listening. It takes so much more of my resolve to listen to that ‘still small voice’. I not only need to be in silence and solitude, I need to bring something to this time. I bring the work of surrender. I need to abandon myself to the work of God and sit quietly and let Him ‘speak to me’. It is not audible but it comes in pieces through the days and weeks to come. It is a mosaic…a beautiful puzzle that I can begin to see parts of through circumstances, relationships, readings, movies, sermons and other surprises that come in all different ways.

Do not neglect listening to those who are in a position to speak truth into your life…but I invite you to not substitute it for listening to the One who created truth.

Grace and peace,

time

Eternity is not something that begins after you're dead. It is going on all the time. We are in it now.”

Charlotte Perkins Gilman

I have been thinking about this for awhile. I am not sure why it never occurred to me before (maybe all of you have already had this revelation and I am just wwwway slow!). I always thought of eternity as something ‘out there’ or beyond now. But it really is ‘now’. I am in the midst of eternity. I am in a certain place in time within eternity.

I am also aware of how much I am caught up in time. Wikipedia, the ‘expert ‘source on everything, says that time is: "a nonspatial continuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future." The part of that sentence that stands out to me is, ‘from the past through the present to the future’. That is time….that is eternity.

I am wondering how I might live if I were consciously aware that I am already living in eternity? How might it change my view of dying? Or of losing those I love?
Just thought I would share my musings with you.

Grace and peace,
Deb

holiday at the sea

“Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desire, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”


C.S. Lewis

What have you settled for? What mud pies are you making while your holiday at the ocean awaits? Anytime you settle for less than what God wants for you….anytime you settle for less than who God means for you to be, you are playing with mud pies. Ask Him to give you a glimpse of the ocean…the desire to ‘go on your holiday’ and the ability to experience infinite joy.

Grace and peace,
Deb

shhhhhhhh

“Some of the most reverent people I know decline to call themselves religious. For them, religion connotes belief. It means being able to say what you mean about God and why. It also means being able to hold your own in a debate with someone who believes otherwise. They, meanwhile, are not sure what they believe. They do not want to debate anyone. The longer they stand before the holy of holies, the less adequate their formulations of faith seems to them. Angels reach down and shut their mouths.”

Barbara Brown Taylor
An Altar in the World

This quote is out of the first chapter, The Practice of Paying Attention. This is what my life feels like now. I have less and less desire to debate theological issues. I am less able to articulate what I know about God and why. There are some things I believe to my core – the truth about who Jesus is and that I need Him. The truth that God loves me more than I can ever comprehend. The truth that I am both an exquisite creature made in the image of God and a reckless sinner who lives under the curse of the Fall. The truth that tells me to love God and love others. The rest is mystery to me. Mystery I cannot figure out. Mystery that I do not feel the need to figure out.

It feels as if the closer I get to God the less I know. I do not feel I can adequately know what He is, who He is, how He moves. So, I try to just lean into what I do know. The rest I am content to leave up to those who enjoy the debate.

Some ask me why I do not talk as much as I used to…could it be that angels have come down and shut my mouth? I am not sure if that is the explanation but it sounds good to me.

Grace and peace,
Deb