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Friday, June 29, 2007

prayer

The Prayer of St. Francis


Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O, Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.


Take some time over the weekend to reflect on this prayer. Notice what God wants to say to you through it.

Peace,
Deb

Thursday, June 28, 2007

listening

Sometimes God speaks to me in a way I can best describe as a gentle nagging. I mean that in the best way. One example was last February when I was away. I am in a program that required me to do a 12 day residency. The schedule allowed for us to spend time alone with God. I had asked Him, before I left for the residency, to speak to me. I asked specifically for Him to use this time to speak to me about something I needed to change.

While at dinner one night, I thought about going back for seconds. As I went to move out of my chair, I sensed a word being impressed on my spirit. The word was ‘enough’. It would have been easy for me to dismiss that, but I had asked God to speak to me and I was not going to miss it. I listened. I sat back down. And…you know…it was enough. As I took some time to notice, I was comfortably full.

God didn’t only want to speak to me about my eating. The other time I heard the word ‘enough’ was when I was talking. I am an extrovert, by nature. And…I can be talkative. For the past year or so, I have been noticing that I have not felt the need to talk as much. I think the journey into a more contemplative Christianity has calmed me, changed my way of being in the world. But, what I heard at the residency was ‘Enough…stop talking unless you are talked to’. My first thought was, “ Wow…are you kidding?” But as that thought passed, I again, remembered that I had asked God to speak and I wanted to listen. I resolved to be quiet. I sat through meals quietly, I didn’t share in the groups, I withheld opinions and thoughts. And you know what? The world didn’t come to an end. Through the silent times, God continued to speak to me about other things. While journaling, truths were revealed that I hadn’t recognized before. Growth was also evident. It was a rich experience for me.

It still amazes me to realize that God is always speaking….I just need to stop and listen.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

awareness

“The world is charged with the grandeur of God”

Gerald Manley


Today, pay attention to the world around you….the beauty of nature, the warmth of summer, the joy of relationships and the ultimate wonder of being loved by Jesus. The grandeur of God is intimately held in all of those things.

Peace,
Deb

trust

When Brooke, my daughter, was in high school, she had a bumper sticker on her car that said:

“Protect me from what I want.”

I don’t know if the person who came up with that saying was a believer or not but I have thought, many times, how that needs to be a constant prayer for me. I seem to have tunnel vision when it comes to my ‘wants’. I also think I know best.

So I’d have these plans and I’d take them to God but what I really was looking for was His stamp of approval. I’d be pretty disappointed if He didn’t quite see it my way.

But, with the perspective of distance and the benefit of hindsight, I can see all the times, when I thought He was withholding things from me, He was protecting me….from what I wanted. I think about how different some things in my life might be and it’s frightening.

God sees the whole picture. I can only see one slice of it. Why, if I know that He loves me more than anyone else ever could…He loves me in a way I cannot even comprehend, why, why, why, can’t I easily trust Him with whatever He allows to come into my life? I ponder how different my life would be if I would live into that reality everyday and not just the hit and miss way that seems to be more the norm for me.


My prayer for today:


God,

Please let me trust you fully today. Let me abandon myself to you and to your plans for my life. Bring to my memory all the times you saved me from what I wanted. Help me to want what you want. Thank you for your love.

Deb

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

wait and see

I often speak of the importance of creating space for God in our lives. Not doing more things for him but being with him in silence and solitude. Creating this space allows God to speak into our lives.

Many times, when I am making a big decision, I quietly offer that decision to God and ask for his guidance. I am learning not to fret over it but to leave it with him and trust that he will lead me. I may verbalize the prayer, one time, to Him. Then I sit in silence with Him. I wait and see.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t have my part to do. I think that may be the most difficult thing…determining what part is God’s and what part is mine. So, I spend time, quietly with God, and wait for Him to respond, to speak, to move. One author puts it this way….my job is to wait and see…..WAIT for God to speak and then be able to SEE what He is doing.

I have come to love waiting to see how God will work things out. I enjoy paying attention to how he wants me to respond, to work with him. It has helped me to relax a bit. Consider spending some sacred time with God today. Give Him time and space to speak to you. Look forward to what He has to say.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Monday, June 25, 2007

assurance

Occasionally, I come across a quote that immediately impacts me and changes the way I think about something. Recently, I read this by Floyd Lotito:

“Death is not extinguishing the light: it is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.”

It’s one of those quotes that illuminates what I already know to be true. Ever since I began to follow Jesus, I’ve been taught about the reality of eternal life and that once we leave this place, we are with him. I know it, but sometimes I think it is more head knowledge than known in my heart. When I read this quote, that truth resonated with me. Tears began to form in my eyes as my concept of death shifted.

I often get so tied to the things of this world. I get so tied to this world, period. It is all I know. I recognize that there was a ‘before’ and that there will be an ‘after’, that I am a visitor here….that this is not my home. But I live as if it is.

I love that I have hope…no….I have assurance that there is more. I don’t want to forget this truth.

For those of you who have lost loved ones, I hope this brings you peace. For them, the light did not go out but the dawn has come. May you keep that thought close to your heart. We know it but we can easily forget in the midst of grief.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Sunday, June 24, 2007

sabbath

no post today ~ enjoy the sabbath

Saturday, June 23, 2007

yielding

“…Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you'll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want.”
I Peter 4:1&2

Recently, I read this verse and it caused me to stop and think. I still expect to get my own way. And, when I don’t…..well, let’s say it this way….I may be ‘sitting on the outside but I’m standing on the inside’. In other words, I may be able to semi-hide my frustration to others but I’m feeling it inside. As I continued to think about this, it is a sign of my immaturity.

When you have a child, you know that it’s not good for them to always get their own way. That’s the best way to create a little human being who thinks the world revolves around them and they should always get their way.

Think a moment about Helen Keller. What a small world she lived in until Annie Sullivan came along. Not looking so much at her disability as at her behaviors – acting wild, taking food off other’s plates, having tantrums, Annie puts a stop to it. Helen went through immense suffering during those first few days as her world was turned upside down. The immediate pain was deep and confusing for both she and her family, but Annie had a plan “to prosper her and not to harm”.

The immediate suffering gave birth to a new world for Helen. She opened up to the world of words, symbols and language. She was finally able to give and receive love from her parents…and also Annie. She went on to graduate from college and become a well-known author. That would never have happened without the suffering of letting go of the old self-centered behaviors.

I don’t want to continue to live with the tyranny of being focused on ‘what I want’. I want to be willing to let go of ‘getting my way’ and allow God to mold me, through the disappointments, into someone who is more attuned to what God wants than what I want.

Is this a struggle for you? Do you ever fall victim to the tyranny of needing to get your own way? If so, I invite you to offer that struggle to God and allow the Holy Spirit to being that work in you.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Friday, June 22, 2007

s p a c e

O God, I am seeking
for ways to be,
less encumbered
ways to
simplify my life:
ways to build
s p a c e s and silences
into a full life
of busyness
and noise.

Teach me to find that
quiet center of self
that you have
hidden within me,
a resting in
your presence.

~Jamie Watkins

Over the past two days, I have had conversations with two different women. Each of them spoke of having a recent intimate experience with Jesus. They each had a very different experience, suited to who they were and how God speaks in their lives. They both had tears in their eyes when they reflected on their experiences.

Each of these women has spent time over the last year creating space in their lives for God. They have practiced ‘being’ with him and nurturing their ability to listen to him in silence. Out of this fertile place comes a deeper, richer relationship with Jesus and the increased ability to discern his voice and movements in their lives.

Learning to be silent before God is not easy but it leads us in to a deeper place with Him.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Thursday, June 21, 2007

presence

I Simply Come to be with You

God of earthquake, wind and fire,
and of the still small voice
and of the silence of the silence,
I bring my presence
to your presence
as a gift to you ~
the only gift that I in fact can give~
for all the other gifts
are gifts you have given
which I can but return to you.

I do not come to speak or hear,
I do not come to think or do,
But Lord of Lords, and very God,
I simply come to be with you.

~Anne Shotwell

Why is one of the simplest things God wants from me so hard to do? Give me a task, a job to do and I know how to do that. I know how to start and I know when it’s done. I can measure it. But just ‘being’ with God…how do I measure that? How do I know if it’s been long enough or been of sufficient quality?

When I start to ask questions like this, I know that I am totally missing the point. Once again, I fall back on how I measure His love for me, His approval of me. I forget, all too quickly, that He loves me…period. And that to have me just sit in His presence, no matter how long, no matter how it may feel to me, is, in itself, pleasing to Him. To go to Him and not ask for anything must be very refreshing to Him. Not that He doesn’t teach us to ask; He does want us to ask Him for what we need.

It reminds me of when my children were little. So many times they would come to me to ask me something…”Mom, can I have this…?” "Mom, can I do…?.”…”Mom….” I also remember very sweet times when they would come and sit next to me on the couch. I would get ready for the next question….and there wasn’t one. They just wanted to be next to me. I think that’s what it may be like for God when I just want to get close to him, sit near Him and be in His company….a very sweet time.

If you have never tried just ‘being’ with Him, crawl up in His lap tonight and just sit with Him. Create a sweet time.

Grace and peace,
Deb

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

being

First, I apologize for not having this post done earlier this morning. The storm last night knocked out my internet.

And....there will be times in the future when I will post a poem, a Scripture,or a quote without my commentary. I would ask that you sit with the words and allow God to speak to you in the way He wants. Today is one of those days...

Peace,
Deb

O my God,
whom I adore,
help me to become
wholly forgetful of self,
that I may be immovably rooted in you
and calm as though I was already in eternity.

May nothing disturb my peace
or draw me forth from you,
O my unchanging Holy One,
but may I at every moment penetrate more deeply
into the depths of your mystery.

~Elizabeth of the Trinity

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

serving

I want to share an experience with you that I had while in Israel last March. Our group took some time to go to the Dead Sea. I made the decision that I wasn’t going to go ‘swimming’ but would wade. One of the other women in our group, a wonderful gal, had made her mind up she was going to go in. She was a trooper. An older woman, she sometimes struggled with walking. I helped her walk down to the water’s edge and then after she was done, helped her walk back to the bathing house to change her clothes.

While she was changing, I was waiting, sitting on a bench outside the changing room. I was brushing the sand off my sandals and feet. I noticed a woman, who was cleaning the bathroom, coming out towards me. My first thought was…”Oh my gosh…she’s probably upset with me for cleaning the sand off in this area.” But she motioned for me to come in to the sink area. She picked up a 2 liter bottle of water and before I knew what was happening, she bent over and took off my sandal and washed my foot. She didn't just pour the water over my foot but she took her hand, rubbed the top, bottom and all my toes to get the sand off. Then she washed my sandal. She repeated the whole process with my other foot.

I was so touched and humbled. It was such an act of servanthood. And she did it with absolutely no expectation of anything in return. I gave her a hug and walked away filled with a sense of God’s love for me.

The fact that I was in Israel, where Jesus lived his life and washed his disciples’ feet, was not lost on me.

I wonder how many times I have missed an opportunity to “wash someone’s feet”? I want to learn to be so aware of how Jesus wants me to serve others. How is He asking me to humble myself and yield my ‘rights’, my ways, my desires to put someone else’s needs first?

Think about how He might be encouraging you to reach out to someone else….to ‘wash their feet’. Then, take a few moments to consider not just pouring the water over them but getting your hands dirty as you go above and beyond to meet their need.

Blessings,
Deb

Monday, June 18, 2007

love

“You must see what great love the Father has lavished on us by letting us be called God’s children – which is what we are.”

1 John 3:1



You may remember this piece of scripture from the other day. I had just returned from Brazil yesterday and received this email from a sweet friend of mine. I was so touched by the way she described what this verse means to her, that I wanted to share it with you. Here is what she said………….


“I love that passage --- I get hung up on the extravagant word "lavish". The dictionary defines it as "characterized by or produced with extravagance or profusion: immoderate in giving or bestowing; unstinting: to give in abundance; shower. It is probably from the old French ...for “downpour or to wash". I love looking at these huge words that all describe God's love for me. These are all words that when applied to anything, they mean to provide far more than we need or expect. We as humans can be quite moderate in giving our love, but not so our Father. It makes me think of standing outside in a downpour of rain, when you get totally soaked to the skin, no matter what you are wearing. God's love penetrates our outer layers, not by any effort on our part, but by His great mercy and LOVE. He wants to soak us in it --- and He has enough to do that with each of us.

I think God chooses His words so carefully to help us comprehend the riches He has for us. Something I read today referred to how as a child you page through the Bible and are disappointed that there are no pictures. But as adult readers, we see there are 100's of them, this being 1!”



I love this description….allow yourself to feel the ‘down pouring’ today as God lavishes you with His love.

Grace,
Deb

Friday, June 15, 2007

space

This is a theme I will write about often. Why? Because we need it so desperately and so few of us know how to achieve it. Why is it important? Because without it, we lose perspective. We are driven by the things that are urgent but not important and miss what is important. Without it, we are more likely to miss God’s movement in our lives.

As women we spend large amounts of our time taking care of others. We are usually the last ones on the list and when we take time for ourselves, we feel guilty about it. Perhaps you can think of it like this…taking some time for yourself is creating space for God. Creating space for God allows us to deepen our relationship with Him and become more of who He intended us to be.

Consider this quote by Anne Morrow Lindberg:

“For it is only framed in space that beauty blossoms. Only in space are events and objects and people unique and significant – and therefore beautiful. A tree has significance if one sees it against the empty face of sky. A note in music gains significance from the silences on either side. A candle flowers in the space of night. Even small and casual things take on significance if they are washed in space….”

How much space do you have in your life? Can you appreciate the little things, the simplicity of life, the beauty in the small things, the movement of God in your life, the incredible simplicity and complexity of the creation around us? Do you have the space to grow in intimacy with Jesus? To listen to Him speaking into your life?

Invite God to show you how to create some space in your life so that days do not become weeks, weeks, months and months, years all without taking the time to notice what is truly precious.

Peace and Grace,
Deb

Thursday, June 14, 2007

being

So many times I would substitute doing things for God for being in relationship with God. Sometimes it was easier. I knew what I was to do and I did it. I could look back at the end of the day and see what I had accomplished. I felt I could gauge my ‘spirituality’ by how much I had done for God. And…it certainly made it easier for others to see how spiritual I was. I truly thought that was the way my spiritual life was supposed to evolve.

Then I woke up one day and realize that wasn’t working any longer. I could go through the motions but there was an emptiness inside. I began to ask questions like, “Is this all there is?” or “Is there some sin I am not aware of that feels as if it is wearing me down, taking any joy out of my walk with God?” And to be honest, it didn’t happen so simply. It really didn’t happen when I woke up one morning. As I look back it had been happening for a long time. Actually, I think I did more ‘doing’ to make up for what I was missing. It was a tough time because I didn’t know what I was missing, what I was yearning for, deep down.

God was so faithful. As I started to notice that something was out of sorts, I simply asked God to show me what it was I needed. How did He want me to be with Him? What did that look like? I sought out counsel, I read books, I waited and trusted the Holy Sprit to lead and guide me into a deeper relationship with Jesus. And, gradually, it began to happen. It was a slow, unfolding of being with God in a different way, a slower, more reflective way. It has been a challenging process, but a beautiful one.

This journey has been one of intention now…my intention to be aware of God’s movement in my life and what He is calling me to do in response to that. I think this quote from Thomas Kelly describes it well:


“The currents of His love have been flowing but whereas we had been drifting in Him, now we swim.”


Be intentional, today, in your relationship with Him. Swim in the deep love He has for you and allow yourself to just ‘be’.

Peace,
Deb

identity

“You must see what great love the Father has lavished on us by letting us be called God’s children – which is what we are.”


1 John 3:1


Re-read this scripture, slowly. Let the truth of it sink in. The God of the universe has chosen you. He is calling you His own. What can be better than that? I love thinking about this and considering how I might be changing because this reality is more than just an intellectual thought…it is a truth beginning to take hold in my heart.

I wanted to find a way to hold this in a deeper way so I re-wrote it for myself:


“Look and see the great love my Father has lavished on me…by letting me be called ‘His beloved daughter’ – which is what I am.”


Each of us can say this. Take some time today to ponder this treasure from God’s word. Re-write it and make it your own. Let it be one of those truths that moves from your head down into your heart.

Peace from one of His children,
Deb

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

beauty...part 3

I hope you don’t mind me spending extra time on Margaret Becker’s reflections. I just think, especially as women, most of us struggle with this issue so I want to give it the attention it deserves. We left off yesterday with what, from Margaret’s point of view, the cost is of not living fully, in the moment….what really is that all about?

She calls it – sin. This is how she says it:

“God created us in His image. He created us individually to be part of both a central and an individual purpose. When we feel uncomfortable in our own skin, it is as if we are saying that God made a mistake. We are not right somehow. The end result is that we are then judging God – His handiwork- and then we are God and He is not."

Wow! Those are tough words. Those words cut me to the quick. How many times have I questioned how I was made? I won’t bore you with listing the struggles I had and still have. There are plenty of them. But, when I do that, I am questioning God and the way He created me.

Margaret says that this thought brought her to her knees and this is the prayer she offered to God:

Forgive me, God. Forgive my idols. Forgive my stupidity. Show me what is real. Teach me what is beautiful. Rend the veil on my soul. Help me to live to the outer limits of my senses, unedited, free in your grace.


This is my prayer. I want to live today, to the outer limits of my senses, unedited and free in God’s grace. This is my prayer for you as well. What would this look like in your life? Consider that today and invite God to show you how to live this life a different way.

Peace,
Deb

Monday, June 11, 2007

beauty...part 2

Hoping that you had time to sit with the thoughts from yesterday, let me share more of what Margaret Becker wrote about her experience with God in light of the ‘bathing suit’ moment. She continues:


“I came to a dead stop at a more cruel truth: the opportunity missed, fun not had, living left unlived, clothes unworn, swims not taken, glances shied away from, and time – precious, unsalvageable time – wasted from my living in the phantom shadow of ‘when’ and ‘if’.”
A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with someone I work with. I commented on how nice she looked; that she had a flair about her that day. She mentioned that she had all these ‘fun’ clothes at home that she used to wear when she worked in the corporate world, but felt she had to dress much more conservatively in the church setting. She didn’t usually like the way she looked when she came to work, but on this particular morning she had decided to break out of the box a bit. We talked about how we hold these perceptions about what we should act like and how we should dress…but that sometimes it isn’t being who we really are. Now I’m not saying we should act or dress inappropriately but that doesn’t mean that we all need to act alike or look alike.

God created us uniquely. Our bodies, our minds, our gifts. You need to celebrate that uniqueness and live life with zest, because if you don’t……well….you’ll have to check tomorrow to see where Margaret’s journey takes us.

And my friend? She threw out all her ‘church work’ clothes and is wearing the clothes that she enjoys. It makes me smile inside when I see her in the hall and she inspires me, in that small way, to live more fully into who God created me to be.


Peace,
Deb

beauty

One of my favorite books is a book written by Margaret Becker called “Coming up for Air”. Margaret Becker is an awesome Christian contemporary music artist, but, in my opinion, she is an even better writer.

One section of this book that spoke to me was when she observed several older women sitting out by a pool in their bathing suits. They were having a wonderful time. The thought ran through her head to go get her suit and join them but then she remembered that she was ten pounds overweight so she dismissed the idea.

In the middle of this thought she came to the realization that there was a voice inside her that said things like

“When I ____________, then I will_________.”

Or

“If I ________________, then____________ will happen.”


As she thought about this she began to ask herself some questions:

When did I start stuffing myself into a tiny definition of beauty?
Why can’t I wear that bathing suit?
What’s the matter with me?
Whose standard of beauty have I been embracing?
Whose standard of confidence am I assuming?
Whose life’s rules am I following as I decide whether or not to live passionately, free from conformity?

Is this something you struggle with? I know I do. Reading this on the page made it come to life for me. How many times have I missed out on doing something I wanted to do because of fear, inferiority, lack of confidence, etc.? Are these questions you have ever asked yourself or have you taken time to notice that you censor yourself in this way?

Consider spending some time with these questions and noticing if you are restricting the freedom that God wants you to have…if you have unconsciously decided not to live the passionate life He desires for you. Give some thought to this and tomorrow we will explore this further.

Grace and Peace,
Deb

Friday, June 8, 2007

rest

And so, let me let you hold me
when I have come to the place
beyond the willingness to labor,
beyond anything but the longing for rest.
Let my emptiness be emptiness
till it reveals to me your face
and let my weariness be weariness
till it prompts me to your rest.
Then may I know the healing of the possibility
of dreams and take up my work again.


Jan Richardson


Tomorrow is the Sabbath. Allow yourself to enter into the rest God intends for you.

dancing

Tonight, I leave for a nine day fact-finding trip to Brazil (I have already written entries for the next week. Brooke will be posting for me. She does not have the same internal clock I do….5:30 am isn’t her favorite time of day. She will be posting but just not as early, so those of you who get up early may have to come back a bit later to read. Thanks for your patience.)

My spirit is full of wonder and gratitude right now. Last night, as I was packing, I was searching through closets to find my electricity converter. I picked up a box to move it out of the way. There was something sticking out of the top and I moved some paper to find……my journal. (For those of you who are new to this blog, I lost my journal in March).

I picked it up and had to look inside to make sure it was THE journal. It was. I cannot tell you how overwhelmed I was. Honestly, some of you may not understand this. But finding that journal was like a gift from God. I leafed through the pages and saw my reflections about the first time I heard my daughter was pregnant…my sweet time in Israel….different things God had revealed to me through the Scripture, even my first ‘poem’. It is filled with my memories, my recent history with God and those I love, my struggles, my spiritual journey since last November.

Having lost it, and now finding it reinforces how much keeping a journal means to me. There are times I will neglect journaling. In the moment it seems as if there is nothing to say. But I am coming to realize that if there is nothing to say then I am not fully aware of God’s presence in my life. The fact is, God is always moving, always working.

I am reminded of one of the worship songs we sing….

” You dance over me
While I am unaware
You sing all around
But I never hear the sound”

How often do I miss Him? Pretty often. But, I believe if I continue this practice of writing down what I do see, I will notice more and more. And my desire is that I become increasingly ‘aware’ of His dance and I continue to learn the steps.

I look forward to taking some time and going through my ‘found’ journal slowly. I am so thankful for finding it. I have no idea how it got there but I believe I found it just when I was supposed to. What a gift. Now if I could only find that converter! :0)

Again…consider journaling. Even if you write once a week for five minutes, give it a try. Be open and honest and real. Do it for a month or two and then go back and re-read what you have written. It will be an incredible experience. Find a way to journal that speaks to you. This week, a friend of mine discovered that if she uses the computer rather than a pen, she is more free and open and able to write more honestly what is on her heart.

It really is a beautiful to see how God is dancing over you….how He wants to dance with you. Join the dance.

Grace and peace,
Deb

PS: Have a great week. I will read each and every comment once I’m home.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

scripture

I used to read the Bible and sometimes I was moved but more often than not I read it for information. Reading the Bible for information isn’t necessarily bad…it just isn’t the only way and it generally isn’t the way that brings about transformation.

Today I had the privilege of sitting with a group of women and teaching them a different method of interacting with scripture. It was a beautiful time as I was able to witness each of them encounter God in a different way. We took a short portion of scripture and allowed God to speak personally and intimately to us. Each heard something different, but each woman heard something profound, just for her. It was a moving experience.

I invite you to read a short Psalm today….read it slowly, a couple of times. Savor it, and allow God to speak to your heart. Pay attention to what He is stirring in you through a word or phrase you are reading. Sit with it for a while and let it sink in. Then, offer it back to Him in prayer. Let Him meet you there in the words.

Peace
Deb

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

pain

Pain is part of life. There is no way around it. I was talking with someone today and I said, “Tough times are coming.” Not “if’ but “when”….because that is the reality we live with. Sometimes, it seems harder to hold onto God during those painful times. I think how I choose to look at it…what perspective I bring, can either help me or hurt me when I face difficulties. The following quote brings me a beautiful glimpse of God’s love for me in the center of my pain:

In all those dark moments, O God, grant that I may understand that it is you who are painfully parting the fibers of my being in order to be able to penetrate to the very marrow of my being.

Teilhard de Chardin


This prayer rose in my heart as I reflected on this quote.


Lord,
Help me to understand that in the midst of my pain, you are so present. Help me to grasp that my pain is not wasted…that it will be used by You to mold my heart and my being to become more like You. Help me to be content in the midst of the pain and to look for You there. Please change my perspective. Allow me to embrace the place I find myself and may my response always reflect You.
Thank you for Your love and care.

Love,
me

How do you look at pain in your life? Do you think you can look at it with this persepctive? It definitely isn't easy but being able to see Jesus, next to you, in a painful sitution can allow you to persevere and surrender to changes He wants to bring about in your life.

Peace,
Deb

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

intergrity

"For when we ask how good a person is we do not ask what they believe or what they hope for but what they live."

Augustine


Everyone has blind spots. We all have those areas of our lives that we are not aware of but others certainly are. One of my concerns is that this quote may speak to one of mine. Do I live what I say I believe?? What if I only think I do?

Haven’t we all met people who speak about what they believe but it is clearly evident to everyone around them that it doesn’t match how they are living…or at least what we can see of it?

How I don’t want this to be true of me! One of my prayers is asking God to reveal the truth that lies deep within my heart that I may not be privy to. I certainly don’t enjoy seeing these things but whenever God opens up one of those dark closets, He does it with gentleness and love…and always for my own good.

May we all strive to be people who live what we say we believe. May the actions of our lives match the words we speak….or don’t speak. I love this quote by St. Francis of Assisi:

“Preach the Gospel and if necessary, use words.”


I think it really can be that simple. People are not so attracted to what we say but by how we walk through life. Today, let your life speak.

Blessings,
Deb

Monday, June 4, 2007

silence

What do you think of when I say the word, “silence’? Does it strike fear into you? Does the idea of not having a radio or tv on, even as background noise, make your palms sweat?

I use to run from silence. I love the sounds that could fill my ears….radio, tv, cd’s, my own voice. It’s not that sound is bad. It's just that in the presence of sound there is the absence of silence….and in the absence of silence, it is nearly impossible to hear God’s still small voice. And I really want to hear His voice.

About three years ago, I began to practice a daily time of silence and solitude. It was so hard in the beginning. My mind would not shut off. I cannot tell you how many times I thought about giving up and just going back to the noise. The noise was known. I felt more in control. But, I stuck with it. Someone told me that God was pleased with my desire to just ‘be’ with Him, without asking for anything, even if I was struggling with the distractions. That was enough to keep me going. The longer I practice it, the better it gets.

Distractions will always be a part of my time in silence but I’ve sensed the Holy Spirit working deep inside and have begun to see some changes. I am convinced it is because I am giving the time to God and surrendering to whatever He wants to do in my life.

If you’ve never tried being silent, I encourage you to try. If you are practicing but have been discouraged, share your struggle with God and keep at it. It is one of the core spiritual disciplines. It allows the Holy Spirit to work within us on a deeper level. Don’t judge your time by what you are experiencing during it but just continue to offer it to God and let Him help you learn to listen to His still small voice.

Peace,
Deb

Sunday, June 3, 2007

sabbath

No post today...enjoy the sabbath.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

intimacy

My friend, Jane, included this quote by Larry Crabb, in her comment to yesterday’s posting.

"The biggest challenge I face in my longing to become who I am is to know and enjoy each member of the Trinity to such an extent that I can remain centered in them when I'm with others. When I'm centered in God, alive to the spirit's rhythm, aware of the Son's grace, and basking in the Father's love, I no longer fear another’s judgment. It can hurt, but it cannot destroy. It is then that I more fully discover my true self, and I'm empowered to enter relationships with true love."



This quote speaks to the truth that we need to be completely surrendered to God and His desire for our lives to be fully who we are and to be in true relationship with others. When grounded in God’s love we are able to enter into relationships with more honesty, vulnerability and integrity.

Is God speaking to you about being centered in Him…in sensing the movement of the Spirit, in experiencing the grace Jesus offers, and feeling, on a personal and intimate level God’s love for you? Perhaps you could spend some time today pondering these three aspects of God’s work in your life. If God leads, consider writing down what He shows you. Where do you sense the Spirit’s movement? How are you experiencing the grace of Jesus? How do you feel God loving you today? These questions may help you move into a deeper intimacy with the Trinity. Enjoy that closeness.

Grace,
Deb

Friday, June 1, 2007

prayer

Staying with the Prayer of Francis of Assisi for another day, I notice that it is a prayer of ‘asking’. But the asking isn’t for the ‘pray-er’ but for those the ‘pray-er’ is in relationship with. It is so counter cultural. It is asking for those things that, at least for me, I am unable to accomplish on my own.

To judge comes more naturally to me than to pardon. Doubt comes easily to me, faith I need to consciously relax into. Depending on my circumstances, despair often is my first response…hope is that thing that others who are more spiritual than I move right into. And so on.

I guess my point is that I tend to…or, may I say, I have tended to gravitate towards the darker side of my nature. But…with the help of the Holy Spirit, I find myself ‘wanting’ to pardon, having more faith, working to live in hope, trying to reflect light, expressing joy, being more consoling, more understanding and more loving. I am no where near doing this well, but my desire to do it well is the place I need to be, because the rest of it is in God’s hands. And when I rest in Him, I find myself choosing to live in way that honors Him and honors others.

What is He speaking to you about in this prayer? What one attribute is He wanting you to live into? How would that show itself in your life? Invite God into the process and allow Him to make those deep changes that need to occur.

Peace,
Deb